Struggling to find time for dating ?

You aren’t alone.

People often tell me that they find it hard to make time for online  dating in their busy lives.  They work all day and are too tired in the evenings to do anything proactive.

I agree that online dating can often be time consuming.  It takes a while to search for people you like the look of, compose witty messages and keep the banter going.

But really it doesn’t have to be.   The object of the game is to get their attention quickly and then arrange a meeting while the interest is there.  You don’t have to write long essays back and forth for weeks.  The first message only needs to be a few lines long – just enough to get them intrigued. After a couple of replies, speak on the phone for ten minutes and then arrange your first date.  Endless messages only build up unrealistic expectations and prevent you from ever meeting up.

Here’s a quick tip which will help you find time for dating….turn off your television!  It’s the biggest time waster there is and it’ s main function is a “partner replacement.”   Most people spend all their time either  staring at it or looking forward to seeing it again.

Believe it or not, studies have shown that watching too much television can actually triple your urge for material things.  Just think how many adverts you watch, consciously and unconsciously. On top of this, every hour you watch a day makes you 5% unhappier!

You only need to spend about 20 minutes a day to make online dating work.   If you knew it would guarantee some fantastic dates, would you be able to find time to do it then?   Picture the end result before you start and you’ll soon be able to fit it into your busy lifestyle.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

In today’s blog I’m going to be looking at the subject of jealousy in relationships and how you can avoid it.

Jealousy can be a funny thing.  It can creep up when you least expect it and small worries can quickly become big problems if not dealt with.

The theory is that jealousy is an evolutionary process that protects us when there is a threat to reproducing.

Women tend to feel threatened by younger, more attractive rivals. Men are more wary of others who earn more money than them.  However, it’ s just people that you can be jealous of but rather anything that distances you from your partner.  This could be work, hobbies, friends of family.  The threat can be real but is quite often imagined.

Too much jealousy can destroy happy relationships, especially if you are constantly questioning each other.  It’s uncertain relationships that have the biggest issues.  If you aren’t clear about the direction you are heading in or if you are both being faithful then it’s only natural to want to question things.

My advice is to talk about any issues as soon as they come up. Ask yourself what you are really worried about and never forget that you wouldn’t be together if one of you didn’t want to be.  It might also help to talk to friends too as they’ll be able to offer you a different perspective on things.   Above all, keep calm and don’t interrogate or you’ll find yourself pushing them away rather than bringing you together.

Studies have shown that a little bit of jealousy can actually be good for a relationship.  It can make you work harder, keep you both on your toes and spice things up. After all, isn’t it good to know that someone wants want you have?

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Compliments are a strong currency when it comes to flirting and getting to know someone. But it’s so easy to get it wrong!

You know what it’s like to get a compliment.  You might be flattered but you will often be suspicious too.  Perhaps you’ll think they are being insincere or trying to get round you in some way.  The same goes for when you give one yourself. So here is a simple tip to help you get round this problem:

Do it via a friend!

Yes, it’s that easy.  Tell a mutual friend how wonderful you think the person you are interested in is.   Don’t go over the top and don’t make them aware of what you are up to. Instead, just throw the compliment into the conversation.  Make sure it’s nothing too sexual or personal either. You could say something along the lines of “He’s really entertaining or I loved her necklace.” You can bet anything that your mutual friend will have passed the message on within 24 hours.

By delivering compliment through a third party the impact doubles and they’ll instantly become more believable.  A compliment that someone overhears is must more powerful that one that they actually hear.

You can also use this tip to get some of the glory from someone else’s compliment too.   If you hear someone saying good things about a friend, then tell them all about it.   When they feel good from hearing this, they’ll tie you in to the “feel good” emotion that it triggers.

Just remember to only keep it to compliments.  You don’t want to associate yourself with any negative comments to idle gossip.

Happy Dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com