Dating Guru’s Mailbag

Also tried the instant chatting but i know some people don’t like to be taken by surprise, for me i much prefer having an instant chat to see how the ‘banter’ is, but need to be ready for a get out clause!

Anyway, my question was about the personal messaging, i really thought it was the best way of making contact, instead of winking etc. Do you have any feedback as to how guys respond to that? B”

Hi B, thanks for your message.

The instant chat is just meant as a bit of fun and isn’t that useful beyond that.  Most people are to busy to spend much time chatting on there so messages are much better.

To get good results then yes, you absolutely need to be sending out messages rather than winking   It helps to send a credit with each one to make sure they can read and reply as non paying members can’t do this.   You need to be as proactive as possible and contact any guys that you like the look of.  Otherwise you’ll just be left with the people who contact you.  YOU need to do the choosing and as such have to send out lots of personalised messages that get them interested. Don’t worry about making the first move as guys love that.  If you don’t then other women will anyway!

I’ve also had a look at your profile and messaging.  Your profile and photos are great BUT I really don’t think you’ve sent out enough messages!   Dating is a numbers game so you need to be contacting 10 people a day – not 10 people in total.   Most of the ones you have sent were read, but it would also help to tell them what you liked about them that made you want to contact them.  A little flattery can often work.