Dating Guru’s Mailbag: Why am I always just a friend?

Here’s another dating dilemma

 

for our Dating Guru

“Dear James,  I hope you can help me.  I’d love to attend one of your singles parties but I’m really really nervous about having to talk to new people.  I know it’s important if I want to make new friends, but I’m so scared of rejection.  What can I do?  Ben”

Hi Ben,

Thank you for your message.  Firstly, let me reassure you.  Almost everyone is nervous about meeting new people and having to go up and say hello.   Perhaps they’ll tell you to go away, be rude to you or ignore you altogether. The good news is that the things you are worried about are extremely unlikely to happen.  The reality is that all the guests are there for the same reason and they’d love you to introduce yourself.

Here are some quick tips which will help you:

1) Test yourself.   If you are shy about going up and talking, just try asking a question.  You could ask if they know where the toilets are or what time it is.  A simple question could start a longer conversation.

2) Use our hosts.   They are there to help make introductions and are the friendliest in the business.

3) Try the speed dating.  You only get to talk to each person for three minutes, so use this time as practice.  You’ll have to say hello and ask a few questions and each time it will get easier and easier.

4) Listen attentively.  The more you listen, then the more the other person will want to speak.  Ask lots of questions and show an interest about what they are talking about.

5) If someone doesn’t want to talk, smile and move on.   Perhaps they are even more nervous than you!    Don’t take it personally.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

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