It’s often hard to stay positive when it comes to dating

So today I’m going to teach you how to boost it.

The power of self-talk is amazing.  If you tell yourself you can do something or tell yourself you can’t, then you are always going to be right.  So the secret is to only tell yourself positive things that will change things for the better.

To help, here are some of my favourite positive phrases.  If you want to feel happier, spend a few minutes each day saying them over and over to yourself.  The more you tell yourself these things then the more likely your brain will make them stick and adjust accordingly:

“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”

“I choose to be kind to myself.”

“A dream written down with a date becomes a GOAL. A goal broken down into steps becomes a PLAN. A plan backed by ACTION makes your dream come true.”

“It’s better to invest time doing what pleases you, rather than to waste time trying to please everyone else.”

“Every advance in human life begins with an idea in the mind of a single person.”

“I am open to new possibilities.”

“Every great leap forward in life is preceded by a clear decision and a commitment to action.”

“I can figure it out”.

“It is possible, if I am willing to put in the time and effort”

“I make choices and decisions based
on my goals and dreams.”

You could even try to include some similar phrases in to your online dating profile.  They’ll make you come across as a happy, positive person so you’ll automatically get more interest.

Good luck!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Your voice is one of your most important dating tools

But are you using it to your advantage?

Our voices are something we all take for granted and therefore we don’t give them much thought.  But you really need to be aware of how you sound.

I’ve known people to get lots of interest via online dating but then completely blow it when they start speaking on the telephone.

1)  Record your voice and play it back.  Most mobile phones will have a facility to do this. Many people are surprised as to what they sound like as we hear things differently to the way other people do. This is all because of the way sound echoes and resonates in your head.

2) Pay attention to the way you sound.  Are you speaking too softly, loudly, fast or mumbling?  The slower and clearer you speak then the better you’ll come across.  Succesful people always leave people hanging on their next word.

3) Copy someone you know.  This can be a film star, politician or a tv personality.  Find someone that you know members of the opposite sex find attractive.  For example, Sean Connery and Mariella Frostrup are two very popular voices.  When you’ve worked out who you want to sound out then listen to them as much as you can.  Take what you like and discard the rest.

4) Perfect it!     Pick up a newspaper or a book and practice reading it out loud.   Try to do it slowly and make it interesting. Imagine you are reading to someone you are attracted to. Paint pictures with your words and you’ll soon be able to do this naturally.

5) Use it.   Once you’ve mastered the technique then use it as much as you.  This can be on the phone to sales people, in supermarkets or anytime you want to stand out.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

If you want to succeed in dating you need to stand out.

But just make sure it’s not for the wrong reasons!

Online dating sites, like the Asian Single Solution, are filled with thousands and thousands of members.  They are so spoilt for choice that it can sometimes all the profiles can seem to blend into one.  Otherwise you won’t get noticed and you won’t meet anyone.  So you’ll need to work hard to make sure you get seen.

The trouble is, some people stand out but they just don’t realise it.

You might think that adding a photo of you looking “cool” in sunglasses, posing with a group of models or looking mean and moody will get you messages.  The truth is that this rarely works.  No, girls don’t want to see you standing next to a car and no, men don’t want to see you falling over drunk with a cocktail in your hand.

THIS about the message and image you are portraying. Do you want to be seen as warm, friendly, happy and good dating material?  Then smile in your photo and you’ll be seen as all those things.

Be careful with what you write in your profile too.  Don’t go on about negative things or talk about the things you don’t want. You’ll come across as a whiner and will quickly get crossed off any favourites lists.

Spelling mistakes, text talk and bad grammar just make you look like a loser who can’t be bothered to write properly.

The golden rule is to be make sure you are proactive.  No matter how good ( or bad!) your profile is, if you aren’t sending out messages to the people you are interested in then you won’t get results.  They’ll just never find you.

Top Tip: Log in every day and you’ll be listed at the stop of searches. This is the best way to get noticed.

Happy dating,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Many people keep writing the same dull things in their profiles.

So today I’ll tell you what to avoid.

Every week I get to see thousands of new profile and it’s odd how many all say exactly the same thing.  In this blog I’ll reveal the most common things I see , in the hope you won’t write the same thing.  These are five of the most common Online Dating Cliches that people write:

1) “I don’t know what I’m doing on an online dating site.”  This just makes you sound arrogant. By writing this you are suggesting that you are far too good to be on the site and what a hardship it is.  As well as this you are insulting every other member on there too!

2) “I don’t know what write” or “I’m not sure what to say.”   So you are indecisive and boring right?   Of course you aren’t….so never write this.  Instead carefully write something that will peak their interest and make you sound like someone they’d like to meet.  Work out what’s special about you and tell the world.

3) “My friends and family are important to me.”  Isn’t this really just stating the obvious? Friends and family are important to everyone.  It would be much more worrying and abnormal if they weren’t!

4) “No time wasters/ players/ etc”     This gives the impression that you’ve had some bad experiences in the past and are therefore judging all people before you’ve given them a chance. It’s doubtful that anyone would ever admit to being a time waster anyway.

5) “I’m open minded”   While most people write this with the intention that they have no expectations when it comes to dating, the reality is that it comes across as if you looking for a casual relationship.

Try and be a bit more creative, and you’ll have a dynamic , interesting profile that will help you stand out from all the other singles.

Good luck,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Can you believe that it’s nearer 2012 than the start of 2011?

It’s a great time to reflect on your dating goals.

So how have things been going for you?  If you’ve not had many dates then it’s not too late to do something about it.  The first step is just to take action.

As we head towards the Summer you’ll discover it’s actually a fantastic time to meet people.

The weather is generally warmer, the nights are longer and people are often in a “holiday” frame of mind.  This means they are more relaxed, sociable and open to dating.

So here are some great ways you can boost your dating.  They are all easy enough to do if only you set aside the time to make the happen.

1) Online Dating.  These online dating sites get a big increase in traffic over the Summer as more people are actively searching for someone to spend the long nights with.  Take a little time to work on your profile and start contacting anyone that takes your interest.

2) Get a new outfit.  You’ll want to look your best, so why not go out and update your summer wardrobe.  Ask a friend of the opposite sex to go shopping with you, so you can find out they might find attractive.

3) Meet up with your friends.    Why not arrange a picnic, walk or BBQ with your closest friends?  You could ask everyone to bring someone new so you’ll end up meeting lots of new people. Even if they aren’t suitable for you to date they might know some perfect contacts who are.

4) Try some Summer Events and Festivals.  There are many open air events this time of year and everyone will be in a great mood.  This can be melas, film screenings, concerts or even one of our very own Asian Single Solution Singles parties.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Chat up lines get a bad reputation.

So how else do you start a conversation?

Sometimes the simplest and best chat up line is just to go up to someone and say “hello.”   The golden rule is to make sure that you smile warmly.  Smile are contagious and they won’t be able to stop themselves smiling back.   It will make you seem like a genuine, nice person as long as you don’t overdo it.   If you don’t smile you’ll just look miserable and they’ll be on their guard.

You can say hello to anyone, anywhere and it doesn’t have to be someone that you fancy.  Why not practice talking to people you meet during your day.  This can be the postman, waitress, person next to you at the supermarket etc.    It takes a little bit of effort to get out of your comfort zone but the more you do the easier it will become.

Don’t forget to have something ready to ask once they’ve said hello back or you’ll find yourself lost.  So ask them a question about what brings them their, tell them you liked something they were wearing or ask their opinion on a suitable subject.  Another great question is to just ask how their day or evening is going.

Once you start chatting you’ll soon fall into natural conversation, so keep up your happy persona and pay lots of attention to what the other person is saying to you.  As a guide, you should be talking for 30% of the time and listening for the other 70%.   Make sure you don’t ask too many questions or you’ll look like a stalker.

After a few minutes chatting you will know if you want to see them again. So if you do, tell them you really enjoyed meeting them ask what steps you should take to do it again properly.  If they are interested they’ll then offer you their contact information.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Shyness is very common when it comes to dating

I’d like to show you some tricks to help make people relax.

Almost everyone can feel a bit nervous when it comes to dating and shyness is very common. It can be difficult on a date if someone finds it hard to relax and open up. But there’ s a fantastic technique that you put them at ease quickly.

It’s an tactic but once you begin to use it you’ll see if can be really effective.

All you need to do is to get someone to talk about what they feel passionate about.  The very act of talking about it will make them start to feel happier and positive. When you see their eyes comes to life and you know you’ve hit a strong positive emotion, you just need to tap them discretely on the arm. Keep doing it every now and again but not so much they spot what you are doing. Make sure you touch them in exactly the same place each time. This is a technique called “anchoring” as it helps them to keep the memory. Now all you have to do is tap them in the same place later in the evening and they’ll subconsciously feel the same fantastic feeling once more.

Give it a go and see how it works out for you.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Dating has changed so much over the years.

Today’s blog is about the new ways of doing it

Generations ago, Asian singles were introduced by families or by a head of their community.  They’d attend social functions under the guidance of chaperones and would stick to the rules and social conventions of the time.  Nowadays most people have to have travel away from their hometown to work and their family and friends can be miles away. On top of this, people are working longer and longer hours and coming into contact with less people.

However, the invention of the Internet has helped dramatically to help readdress the balance.  Asiansinglesolution has revolutionised  dating for single Asian professionals. It’s easy to log on to a computer from home and sign up to lots of different web sites.  Once they’ve created a quick profile they can potentially date and interact with 1000′s of possible singles from all over the country.

My dating tips and advice for actual face to face dating remains the same as it did before online dating.   You still need to create an amazing first impression,  present the best possible version of you. listen to what your date is saying, flirt and keep building the attraction.

There has never been a better time to hit the dating scene.  The taboo of online dating has long gone and more matches are being made than ever.  As there is so much less pressure than in previous generations, singles can have more fun enjoying the dating process.

So why not log on now and meet another Asian professional right now?

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

I’ve noticed a lot of people write this on their profiles.

So today’s blog will be on this topic.

Before I begin, I’d like to suggest that the phrase “no time wasters please” is not a good thing to write in your profile.  Firstly,  you should never focus on negative things and who you don’t want to meet, but rather the sort of person you do.  As well as this, would it really put off a time waster and what is the true definition of a time waster anyway?

I doubt many people would admit to being a time waster, but they would admit to sometimes being unsure, nervous or concerned about dating someone.  If you’ve emailed for a while then you fall into a comfort zone where you enjoy the attention and the very fact someone is interested in you.  Everyone is looking for different things – marriage, fun dates, friends etc so you need to be clear about this from the outset.  Otherwise it leads to frustration and disappointment.

It’s not fair to string someone along with the false hope that you are interested in a relationship with them.  The longer you delays telling them that you don’t see a future, then the more hope and expectations will be built up.  Don’t continue to email or chat to them unless you make it very clear you just want to be friends.

It might be hard to admit it to them but you are doing the kindest thing for them in the end.  Once you’ve told them there is no romantic inclination then you’ll both be free to meet someone more compatible.

Good luck,

James Preece

www.asiansinglesolution.com