In today’s blog we cover a topic that many people find difficult.

It’s especially relevant if you plan to attend one of our singles parties.

If you are at a social event and don’t know many people it can be hard to join a conversation.  They all seem to be having a lovely time but you feel like you are on the edge, looking in.

So here are my Dating Guru tips to help make this easier for you.

1)  Find a friend.  It’s a lot easier to break into a group if you have a wing man/woman with you.   So pair up with someone else in the same situation and stick together for a while.

2) Arrive early.  it can be tempting to turn up late to a party so you can sneak in as unoticed as possible.  However, by that time the other guests will have formed little groups and already bonded.  By arriving early you can have a headstart on everyone else and have first choice in talking to new arrivals.

3) Don’t worry about being on your own.  If you find yourself on your own then don’t panic, just take minutes to reflect and enjoy your own company.  Go up to the bar and buy a drink and you’ll soon get the chance to meet new people.

4) Smile.  This is the single most important thing you can do.  If you stand around looking miserable then nobody will want you to talk to them.  Look like a warm, friendly person and groups will welcome your positive vibes.

5) Don’t forget that all the Asian Single Solution parties have lots of great hosts to help you. Have a quiet word and say you’d like some help and they’ll do their best to make some useful, discreet introductions.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Today’s blog is all about that common problem everyone faces.

How do you juggle your dating and social life?

It’s a common scenario and happens to us all.  If you don’t have a partner you’ll probably have experienced this will friends who have met someone.

When you were single, it was fun to call up your friends and hang out together.  You’d share problems, jokes and stories together and would always “be there” for each other.

However, you’re now in a relationship and you don’t have time for them anymore.    You do your best to see your friends but something always comes up.  On the rare times you do get together your partner raises concerns and complains about it, so you end up seeing them less and less.  If you see too much of your friends it can lead to jealousy or suspicion.

So what can you do about it?

1) Remember that your friends were there when you were single and will be there for you if you ever are again.  So always keep in touch and let them know they are still important to you.  Send them birthday and Christmas cards and send them short emails and texts when you get a free moment.

2) Don’t let your Partner make you choose between your friends and them.  Your friends should always take priority, at least in the early days of a relationship.

3) Spend time with BOTH your partner and your friends together.  That way they’ll get to know each other and build rapport.  The more they get on then the more you’ll keep them happy.

4) Introduce your friends to them gradually, not all at once.  That way you won’t overwhelm them or make it feel too pressured.

5) Agree limits.  Have one night a week, or fortnight, when you both see your friends.  Set a time limit so you’ll be home by midnight to see each other and you won’t be endlessly worrying about what they might be up to.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

There’s one thing I can’t understand with Online Dating.

In fact, I’ll go so far as to say it’s a pet hate!

Yes, this blog is all about something that really really bugs me :  Photos that have people wearing sunglasses.

I see this time and time again and we at the Asian Single Solution do our best to reject photos like this.   It’s mainly men that do this, but women can sometimes be guilty of it

People do it to look cool and sexy but this just has completely the opposite effect.  Why?   Well it just makes it seem like you have something to hide.  They’ll look at your photo and wonder just why you don’t want your full image to be seen.  Maybe you have a black eye, look like a reject from a Horror film or are too embarassed/shy/married to want to be seen.   None of these are good qualities and you are only doing yourself harm in the long run.

We don’t explain this on the photo upload page but some people think they know best.  But please keep in mind that sunglasses inside is never a good look.

The same applies for anything else that might obscure your face, such as a hat, scarf or even a glass.   Make the most of what you have!

One final note – it’s fine to have obscured photos as a secondary picture if that’s what you really want to do.  Sometimes these can look fine in context.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

It’s always a good time to think about seduction.

So in today’s blog I’m going to tell you why you need to be romantic through the entire year!

The key message is that you need to be romantic every day, not just for Valentine’s, Christmas, birthdays etc.

It might seem like a cliche, but you still need to do it!   She’ll be expecting these romantic gestures and needs them to make her feel loved and special.  However, flowers, perfume and chocolates won’t last very long so you need to think bigger.

It’s easy to think up simple, romantic gestures and A great gift is to get a locket engraved with a special message. Place a small photo of the two of you together so you’ll always be close to her heart.  Women love that kind of thing!

You could also try baking some cupcakes and then icing each one with a letter, spelling out a romantic message.     This will take a lot less effort to do than it appears and she’s have something remember.

If you want to woo a lady it doesn’t have to be difficult or expensive, just make her know you’ve been thinking about her.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

When it comes to dating there are many different types of people

Each one needs different tactics and I’ll be writing about them in future blogs.
Today’s blog is all about the “Beauty Queen” and is aimed at men.   We all know this particular type.

She’s the one who looks like she has stepped off the cover a magazine and always has a crowd of men around her desperate for her attention.

But somehow you’ve asked her out and she’s said yes.  So how do you handle her on a date?

Firstly, keep in mind that she’s just a normal person.  Just because she’s beautiful on the outside doesn’t mean she’s secure on the inside.  In fact, many good looking women ( and men) are rarely asked out as a lot of people are too shy or intimated to approach them.  The only ones who do are the arrogant or drink people and she’ll dismiss them as quickly as they can.

The most important thing is not to try too hard to impress her, or it will come across as desperate.

You still need to make an effort as you still want it to be memorable and exciting for her. Keep is simple, yet sophisticated – perhaps cocktails or take her to a restaurant you know she’s been dying to try.

Don’t go on about her looks – she’ll hear that from everyone else. Act like you aren’t that bothered about how she looks but compliment her on her personality, sense of humour or intelligence instead.  She’ll be flattered that someone likes her for being “herself” rather than what she looks like.

Nothing is sexier that confidence, so show her you aren’t intimidated and make sure she knows she has to work hard if she wants to see YOU again!

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

You’ve got a date lined up and you want to get to know each other.

So what can you talk about? What shouldn’t you talk about?

Here are my dating tips to help ensure your date goes smoothly and that you have lots to talk about.

1) Don’t interview them.  Yes, you need to ask questions and find out about them but you aren’t on a chat show.  If you start firing off questions then it will make them feel pressured and they’ll back off.  So instead take turns to ask questions and acknowledge their replies rather than asking them something else immediately.

2) Use body language rather than talking.  This can be as simple as smiling, nodding and paying full attention to what they are saying.  If they feel you are enjoying what they are saying they will be more comfortable.   Remember that it doesn’t always matter what you say, rather than the WAY you say it.

3) Flirt!  If you don’t want to be stuck in the “just friends” zone then this is vital.  Touch them lightly on the arm every now and again and try to be a bit cheeky, teasing them every now and again.

4) Sell yourself.   Make sure you present yourself as best you can but don’t boast or bore.  The key is to convey that you lead an interesting, fun, busy life.

5) Don’t fill every silence.   Sometimes it’s good to pause for a short while.   You don’t need to try and think of something clever to say, just enjoy the moment to reflect.

6) Have conversation topics ready just in case.  If the chat completely dries up then you use these to get things back on track.  Make sure it’s an interest topic you can both discuss, rather than a question they can answer with a yes of a no.   You could ask them if they’ve ever had a supernatural experience, what their earliest childhood memory is or what their dreams are for the future.

7) Don’t be an Agony Aunt/Uncle.   People have a tendency to unload their problems on others and they in turn want to be the one to solve them.  They think that if can help then their date will be eternally grateful and think they are wonderful.  That’s just a negative thing to talk about.   A date isn’t the time for this -always focus on the positive.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

I’m often asked when the “optimum” messaging time is for online dating.

Should you do in the day when they might be working or at night when they are home?

When it comes to internet dating, the peak time tends to be at weekends and in the evening.  That’s when people are free to log in and send messages without being watched by their bosses and colleagues.  Having said that, many people do log in and out throughout the day too.    If you write your messages in the day they’ll still get them and be able to reply.

So the simple answer to this question is – message anytime!

People sometimes like to wait a few days to reply to a message, to give the impression they are busy and have other things going on.  This is a bad tactic as if you make them wait to long they will just email someone else instead.  If they engage with other people and get on you’ll have missed your chance.  Strike while the iron is hot and the interest is there.   There’s nothing worse that trying to keep track of a coversation when you have to wait ages between each message.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

You’ve sent a message but haven’t heard back.

Should you move on or try again?

You know the scenario. You’ve contacted lots of people you like on the site but haven’t heard back from some of them.

You don’t want to hassle them so most people simply give up at this point.   But I’d strongly advise you to give it another go.

Keep in mind that people lead busy lives and might be inundated.   These means they accidentally overlook certain emails or they plan to open then or end up getting distracted and forgetting all about it. Resending your email to these people almost guarantees an increased open rate.

Here are a few tips to see if you get better results

1. Always write proper, personalised messages.  If they feel you’ve made an effort they’ll be much more likely to reply.
2. Wait at least three days before you contact them again.  They might well have not had a chance to log on the site, especially over the weekend
3. Make sure you send a credit with your message.  This means that they can open and reply to it, even if they aren’t paying members.
4. If it’s still in bold, it’s not been read.  However, even if it has been read it doesn’t mean they are still a paying member. Perhaps they read it when they were a member but now the membership has lapsed.  A credit will fix this.
5. Change the Subject Line.  If do this is will look like two different emails.  If they’ve not read the actual message then they won’t even know they are the same.
6. Make it clear you are resending it.  Say something like “I’d hate you to miss this” or “I’m resending this as I know we’re a fantastic match.”

One final piece of advice.  If you don’t hear back after you’ve contacted them twice then move on.  There’s no point contacting them again. Not only will it annoy them but you’ll be wasting energy when you could be lining up dates with other people!

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Here’s a common mistake people often make.

It’s one you need to avoid so read this blog to see if you’ve made it too!

When people sign up for an online dating site, it can be tempting to cut corners and try to avoid putting any effort in.  So rather than writing proper messages, they’ll send out a quick two line message to absolutely anyone then like,  making sure they include their phone number or email address in the message.

Imagine you were at a nightclub and wanted to find a partner.  Would you really just rush around the room, handing out bits of paper with your phone number on them?

What kind of results do you think you might get and how many would call you the next day?   I’ll bet that you don’t get any at all.

The secret is to engage with each person individually, flirt with them, make them them feel special and build up trust.  Only then can you exchange numbers.  It’s the same formula you need to stick to when it comes to dating online.  If you just send a phone number and no personal message it will be deleted and you’ll be forever classed as a weirdo.

Remember, you’ll get out of it what you put in and you need to put some effort in to get the dates you want.   The difference is that you’ll get the results so much quicker if you do it properly from the start!

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

We’ve had lots of dating questions after last week’s blog.

Here are some answers to a few of them.

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Q)

Dear James,

Should one consider star signs when dating? Or should they be ignored and people should work hard at making things works out?

A)

Hi H,
I think star signs should only be considered as a bit of fun. Otherwise, you’ll end up making decisions that rule out 11/12ths of the population!

Most people don’t take star signs seriously. There’s no evidence they have anything to do with people’s personality at all. Dating is hard enough anyway without trying to complicate it further.

So yes, focus on what you DO have in common and make things work if you like each other.

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Q) Dear James, I’ve got a second date lined up and want to impress her. The trouble is that money is a bit tight. Where can I go that won’t cost the earth, but looks like it does!  Thanks, S

A) Hi S, you really don’t have to spend lots to impress someone.  If they expect it they are just money grabbing anyway!   However,  you need to make it look like you’ve made an effort.  I’d suggest you take a look at some of the great deals you can get on the new “offers” websites like Groupon and Groupola.  You’ll be able to book amazing restaurants and experiences at a fraction of the price.  For example, I’ve seen afternoon tea for two at £12 rather than £35 and three course dinners with drinks for less than a tenner each. Keep your eyes open and you’ll find plenty of bargains.  The best thing is that they need never know how cheap it really was!

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If you have a question, email me now at james@asiansinglesolution.com and I’ll do my best to help.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com