You’ve sent a message but haven’t heard back.

Should you move on or try again?

You know the scenario. You’ve contacted lots of people you like on the site but haven’t heard back from some of them.

You don’t want to hassle them so most people simply give up at this point.   But I’d strongly advise you to give it another go.

Keep in mind that people lead busy lives and might be inundated.   These means they accidentally overlook certain emails or they plan to open then or end up getting distracted and forgetting all about it. Resending your email to these people almost guarantees an increased open rate.

Here are a few tips to see if you get better results

1. Always write proper, personalised messages.  If they feel you’ve made an effort they’ll be much more likely to reply.
2. Wait at least three days before you contact them again.  They might well have not had a chance to log on the site, especially over the weekend
3. Make sure you send a credit with your message.  This means that they can open and reply to it, even if they aren’t paying members.
4. If it’s still in bold, it’s not been read.  However, even if it has been read it doesn’t mean they are still a paying member. Perhaps they read it when they were a member but now the membership has lapsed.  A credit will fix this.
5. Change the Subject Line.  If do this is will look like two different emails.  If they’ve not read the actual message then they won’t even know they are the same.
6. Make it clear you are resending it.  Say something like “I’d hate you to miss this” or “I’m resending this as I know we’re a fantastic match.”

One final piece of advice.  If you don’t hear back after you’ve contacted them twice then move on.  There’s no point contacting them again. Not only will it annoy them but you’ll be wasting energy when you could be lining up dates with other people!

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Here’s a common mistake people often make.

It’s one you need to avoid so read this blog to see if you’ve made it too!

When people sign up for an online dating site, it can be tempting to cut corners and try to avoid putting any effort in.  So rather than writing proper messages, they’ll send out a quick two line message to absolutely anyone then like,  making sure they include their phone number or email address in the message.

Imagine you were at a nightclub and wanted to find a partner.  Would you really just rush around the room, handing out bits of paper with your phone number on them?

What kind of results do you think you might get and how many would call you the next day?   I’ll bet that you don’t get any at all.

The secret is to engage with each person individually, flirt with them, make them them feel special and build up trust.  Only then can you exchange numbers.  It’s the same formula you need to stick to when it comes to dating online.  If you just send a phone number and no personal message it will be deleted and you’ll be forever classed as a weirdo.

Remember, you’ll get out of it what you put in and you need to put some effort in to get the dates you want.   The difference is that you’ll get the results so much quicker if you do it properly from the start!

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

We’ve had lots of dating questions after last week’s blog.

Here are some answers to a few of them.

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Q)

Dear James,

Should one consider star signs when dating? Or should they be ignored and people should work hard at making things works out?

A)

Hi H,
I think star signs should only be considered as a bit of fun. Otherwise, you’ll end up making decisions that rule out 11/12ths of the population!

Most people don’t take star signs seriously. There’s no evidence they have anything to do with people’s personality at all. Dating is hard enough anyway without trying to complicate it further.

So yes, focus on what you DO have in common and make things work if you like each other.

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Q) Dear James, I’ve got a second date lined up and want to impress her. The trouble is that money is a bit tight. Where can I go that won’t cost the earth, but looks like it does!  Thanks, S

A) Hi S, you really don’t have to spend lots to impress someone.  If they expect it they are just money grabbing anyway!   However,  you need to make it look like you’ve made an effort.  I’d suggest you take a look at some of the great deals you can get on the new “offers” websites like Groupon and Groupola.  You’ll be able to book amazing restaurants and experiences at a fraction of the price.  For example, I’ve seen afternoon tea for two at £12 rather than £35 and three course dinners with drinks for less than a tenner each. Keep your eyes open and you’ll find plenty of bargains.  The best thing is that they need never know how cheap it really was!

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If you have a question, email me now at james@asiansinglesolution.com and I’ll do my best to help.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

James Preece is the The Dating Guru for the Asian Single Solution.

Read some of my quick tips here:

1) I met someone at a recent Asian Single Solution singles party and we swapped numbers.  How long should I wait to contact them again?

Some people like to wait a few days to give the impression that they are busy.  This is a bad idea as they will probably have met other interesting people.  A good plan it to make sure you say goodbye to them when you leave, which makes sure you are fresh in their minds.  Then send them a text the next morning saying you enjoyed meeting the and call them that evening to arrange a date!

2) How can I give the impression that I’m powerful, self confident and someone they would like to be with?
Sitting in an higher position will subconsciously generate respect.  Therefore, always try and sit in a more elevated seat than them, perhaps on a table or edge or a chair if necessary. That way they will literally have no choice but to look up to you!

3) I’ve joined the dating site and I’m not getting many messages.  How can I get more interest?

This is a very common mistake.   You need to remember that you in competition with everyone else on there.  If you don’t play the game you’ll pass by unnoticed.  You need to be proactive and spend time contacting people you like.  It’s not up to THEM to find you – but for you to get in touch with them first.  The only way you can possibly avoid putting in the work is to have an amazing photo and then log in regularly.  If you can get their attention with the photo then you’ll naturally get more emails.
I’ve helped 100s of people find love and am a dating advisor for many magazines, newspapers and websites.  If you’d like any personal one-to-one help then please do check out out my website below.  Discount for all Asian Single Solution members.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.onlinedatingclinic.com

Everyone knows that to get online dating success you need to have a great photo.

But what exactly IS a great photo?

Use a photo that looks like you, but on a really good day.

There’s not point uploading a photo that has you with other people in it.  Firstly, it won’t be clear which one is actually you.  What if the viewer likes the look of one of your friend instead?   Also, some guys thing it’s good to add a photo surrounded by lots of women.   Yes, it can make you look popular but it also makes you look like an idiot who is trying to hard to impress!

A clear, head and shoulder headshot is always best and it’s the only kind of photo that we allow as your main headshot.

I see a ridiculous amount of photos with sunglasses or hats – completely pointless as it makes it look like you have something to hide.

Secondary photos can break from this rule.  In fact, many people will want to see a full body shot so they can see your body type and how you dress.

Never forget the power of a first impression.  If you haven’t already done so, do read our “Dumbest Mistakes Guide” for more information.
Good luck,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

As you know we’ve got a fun “online chat” feature on the site.

But are you using it properly?

Online chatting can be a great way to get to know people quickly.  You can search to see who it logged on at the same time you are and begin a conversation straight away. You’ll be able to talk with users from all over the UK who are looking for a fun conversation.

The thing to remember is that online chat is just for entertainment purposes only!  It’s not a substitute for actually getting to know someone. It’s so much better to talk on the phone or meet face to face.

I’d also like to remind you that you are looking for serious dating, there isn’t much point restricting your searches to “users online ” only.  Many people don’t have the time to chat during the day and you’ll have a much better success rate if you send proper messages instead. The chances that your perfect match will online at exactly the same time you are slim.

So instead, just enjoy the chat feature for what it is – fun – and send out emails to anyone you like too.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

We’re always being told what not to wear, what not to eat and what not to do in life.

Just for fun, here’s my fun guide to how NOT to succeed at dating.

1)  Write a long checklist of every single feature you want in a partner – and don’t even consider dating anyone who doesn’t meet at least 99% of these criteria.  Why should you settle?

2)  Don’t bother washing or shaving before you meet up.  You don’t want to look like you’ve made an effort, just in case they don’t like you.

3) Keep your date waiting for at least 30 minutes and don’t apologise or explain it.  They’ll think you must be incredibly busy.

4)  Work out how to use the calculator on your phone.  You’ll be needing that at the end of the date, to work out how much you both have to pay for your share of the bill.

5) Only talk about yourself.  What’s the point in finding out about them when your own life is so interesting.

6) Make sure you eat with your mouth open.   For bonus points, try and be rude to the waiter.

7)  Tell them all about your ex in great detail. Bring photos and call them during your date.

8 ) Text the other person relentlessly after the date,  once per hour every hour – you don’t want them to forget you exist !

9) Staying home alone on a Saturday evening is a much better plan that going out to a singles party.   You might not meet anyone or have fun, but at least you’ll know who might win The X factor.

10) If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try again. Go on, give up now. What’s the point?

Needless to say, these tips are all tongue in cheek and are some of the things you must definitely NOT do.

Don’t blame me if you use them and they go wrong!

Good luck,
James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.singlesolution.com

In today’s blog I’m going to talk about online dating etiquette.

This will apply to everyone, whether you are sending or receiving messages.

One of the biggest frustrations with online dating is that you can send a message and while it will be read
you won’t hear back from them.  So you might end up waiting and waiting to hear back only the message will never come.

As a Dating Expert I always advise that you treat people in the same way you’d like to be treated – with good manners.  They know you’ve opened and read the message

The trouble is that many people are uncomfortable with rejecting someone they aren’t interested in.  That’s fine, but it’s not really about rejection but a matter of politeness.

To make it easy for you we provide several “pre-written” replies that you can send to save you time.

So if you aren’t interested you can just send one of those instead.  You can say you don’t feel you are right for each other,  don’t have time for dating or you’ll get back in touch when you have more time.  It only takes a few seconds.

Of course, there are the odd people who can’t handle rejection and will reply asking exactly why you aren’t there type of why you don’t
want to get to know them.

My advice is to just block them rather than waste your time debating it.   Once blocked they can’t contact you again and you’ll be free
to correspond with people that you do like the look of.

If you get a message saying the other person doesn’t think you are a match, don’t stress about it.  Instead, be appreciative of the fact they made the effort to let you know where you stand. Everyone likes different things so just move on and contact more people you do like.  You’ll eventually make a good connection if you put some effort it.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Last week we told you about last impressions, so this week is all about first ones!

If you want to make a fantastic first impression, stand out from the crowd, build rapport instantly and impress people then there is one thing you need to do above everything else. ….

SMILE!

Yes, this is a painfully obvious tip but it’s one that many many people overlook.  It’s the number rule for flirting but we are amazed that a small number of people come to our events and don’t smile.  Even when we welcome them on the door, they look grumpy and don’t even acknowledge our hellos.  They’ll stand in the corner and look grumpy and this makes it very hard for anyone to approach them.  We realise that this might be because they are nervous, but you really don’t need to be.  You just need to step out of your comfort zone a little and realise that everyone is in the same boat. Remember our hosts are always there to help you.

If you are bit a shy then it’s easy to fake a smile. Think of something that makes you laugh or picture a happy memory. A warm smile will make you seem friendly and confident and instantly puts everyone at ease.  Think these happy thoughts before you enter the venue and you’ll feel so much better.

Just don’t go overboard of you’ll end up looking a little gormless!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

The way you say goodbye is just as important as the way you say hello.

We all know we have to work hard to make a fantastic first impression.
We smile warmly, shake hands firmly and put lots of effort into showing an interest, saying
and doing the right things.

But how often do you think about your last impression?

This is the final time you’ll have contact, so you want to make sure you create long lasting
memories that will stick with them long after you’ve parted.  This is especially true when it comes to meeting other guests at singles parties. You’ll meet so many people that you’ll be starting and stopping conversations throughout the evening.

The best thing you can do is to keep the positive feelings flowing.  You can do this by making
them feel good and paying them a small compliment.  It’s easy – just say something along the lines of:

“It was so good to talk to you, Rachel”  or “I just loved chatting with with, John.”

If you have genuinely enjoyed meeting them and want to see them again then you need to make sure you do all you can to help this happen.
I’d advise you to carry business cards with you at all times.   These need to be professionally printed as they’ll be acting as a memento afterwards. The classier they look, then the more likely they’ll want to hang on to them.

If you don’t have business cards, it’s easy to get some made up for a low cost.   They just need to have your name, email address and phone number on them.   The perfect finishing touch is a great photo so they’ll remember who you are.

There’s nothing wrong with making a provisional plan to meet again there and then.   You can say:

“What steps do we have to take to talk again?”

This give them the chance to suggest a date or to exchange numbers. If they give you their own cards or details, then call them up the very next. There’s little point in hanging around trying not to seem too keen.

Always at least attempt to politely exchange contact details.  You won’t have lost anything as there won’t be any way of contacting them afterwards anyway!

Even it you have no intention of chatting again, there’s no harm in sending them away in a good mood.  They’ll be more encourage to go up and approach other people that way.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com