I often get people telling me that they are “burnt out” from having too many dates. Others don’t seem to be having any. So what’s the right ratio of dates?
Well, this all depends on what you are doing and with whom. If you are having amazing nights out and great new life experiences then you can never really have enough. However, if you are out every evening on boring, dull dates then something is going wrong and needs fixing fast.
A lot of this is just about having the right attitude. If you go on a date wishing, hoping and dreaming that they will be “the one” then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Rather than put the pressure on both of you, decide to go out and just see what happens. Perhaps you’ll get on well and continue to see each other or maybe you’ll make a new friend.
If, on the other hand, you just don’t have to see anyone. If this is the case I’d suggest you take another look at your priorities. Are you letting work get in the way or your lovelife? Does making money take priority? Have a good think about what’s most important to you. If you spend too long working then you’ll never meet anyone.
I’d suggest you have arrange a couple of dates every week. No more, no less. They don’t have to be extravagant, whole evening encounters so don’t panic. Instead arrange short one or two hour meetings. This will give you the chance to get to know each other but not give you time to get bored or distracted.
If you find yourself getting tired from all the energy you are putting into dates, then feel free to take a week or two off.
Just remember – dating is supposed to be fun!
James Preece – The Dating Guru
