Are you letting your partners ex get in the way?

Stop making this big dating mistake!

We’ve all got a dating past.  So why do so many people allow it cause problems and get in the way of new relationships?

The biggest issue is that it’s easy to feel second best and to compare yourself to their ex.  You might wonder if you are good enough or if they might come back on the scene and spoil things.

Remember that if they still wanted to be together then they would be. But they aren’t and your partner has chosen to be with you.  So you’ve won the prize.  What’s the point in feeling you have to continue to compete?

The only time a conversation about an ex is useful is when you talk about what went wrong.  If you find out the reason they broke up then you can avoid making the same mistakes.  We all do things wrong but the big secret is to learn from them and not repeat the same errors.
Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Here are our latest batch of success stories from late September to October 2011. If you have your own please let us know so we can share it!

“I have met the love of my life on this site and will be soon marrying her.” VC

“It was great! very informative, regular updates and I would recommend it to anyone” MP

“The services are good, honestly well done!” QC

“I met someone on your dating site. Thank you:-)”  VN

“Just want to say a biggg thank you to the site as i have met the most amazing gentleman alive …!”  CP

“It is a really good site. Keep up the good work ” NS

“Excellent website”  TG

“”Brilliant service…will recommend” SH

“Well organised and good varation of age groups” SN

“I cant say much about the site as the first person i met on your site is the person im with ) Thanks” AM

“Good. Easy to use website with some interesting features. Thanks” DP

“Enjoyed the event very much”  SW

“I thought that the staff from Asian Single Solution on the night were extremely friendly, helpful and proactive” PP

“Very easy set up and enjoyed meeting new people” NP

“I just wanted to say thank you to the staff for a great evening.  They were really helpful and the event was extremely well run. I would definately recommend it to my friends” MA

“Thanks for your hospitality I’ll tell my friends about this site inshalla…:)” HO

“My first speed dating /dating event. It was a real party. I totally enjoyed it.” JD

“Was my first event and loved it, would definitely do others” LC

“Brilliant site” NN

“Very good service. Will definitely recommend to friends” JB

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single. Feed back : great site, thanks.” TB

“I met someone at one of your events, and am no longer single. Feed back : absolutely fantastic. keep up the good work” MO

“Good service, thank you – met some nice people” SK

“The overall service for this website, has been very helpful.” MV

“Very good site, i have met someone perfect”  BH

“Nice people on the site and friendly. Your welcome staff are also very good at the events”  MM

“Out of all the dating sites I have been a member of this is far the best. thank you for helping me find what I was looking for! I have found the perfect person, and I have recommended this site to many of my singles friends, young and old! thank you once again, all the best” KT

Sometimes it’s hard to pick up whether someone is interested.

But are you picking up the wrong signals?

Dating can be quite complicated at times. How do you know if a date is going well or if it’s time to make your excuses and leave?

Everyone has heard about basic body language and we are constantly ( even subconciously) searching for indicators of interest.

If you want to be able to tell if someone is interested, then it’s not as easy as looking for a flick of their hair, lick of their lips or the way their feet are pointed.  If they laugh at your jokes are they being polite or do they genuinely find you funny?  Or perhaps they are laughing at you or just because they are a little nervous?

The ony way you can really find out what’s going on is to communicate.  If you like someone then let them know.  If you aren’t keen then let them down gently.  Don’t string them out or keep them hanging for ever.  Mixed signals are a waste of time and confusing for everyone.

Yes, body language can offer clues but you must look for a selection of them in quick succession.  Folded arms might show they are bored, but they could just be cold.  However, if they are yawning and looking into the distance too then it’s pretty obvious you should up your game fast!  A chain of positive body language signals might reveal things are looking up.
Good luck!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

The Asian Single Solution would like to wish all our members a Happy Diwali.

We wish you and your family a very happy Diwali & prosperous new year.

May all your wishes in love, wealth, health & happiness be fulfilled.

James and Paul

www.singlesolution.com

Matchmaking software and tests are popular right now

But do they really work?

Matchmaking software aims to examine members’ core beliefs and characteristics to give them a reliable idea of the type of people they should be dating to get a long lasting relationship.   I was recently asked about my thoughts on this so I thought I’d share them here.

I believe that this sort of profiling might well be useful, but is most probably flawed due to two well know psychological effects.

Barnum Effect:  The problem with any form of test is that people are rarely honest about themselves.  The Barnum (or Forer effect) is the idea that individuals will give high accuracy ratings to descriptions of their personality that they believe are specifically for them, but are in fact general enough to apply to a variety of different people.  Sof if you give someone the results of a personality profile then they’ll choose to accept the bit they likes or overlook the ones they don’t.

Placebo Effect:  If you tell someone that they have been matched with the very latest state of the art findings then they’ll subconsciously find themselves working hard to fill in the gaps.  This may or may not be a good thing. On one hand, they’ll put more of an effort into making a relationship work.  On the other it doesn’t really matter whether your matches are real not not.

I really don’t know how accurate these tests really are.  From my experience,  the secret of successful dating is all about chemistry.  There are obviously certain things that are vital when it comes to matching.  This could be religion, race, age etc.  However , most people have relatively open mind and will surprised by who they actually really do get on with.

So, what do you think about all this?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Best Wishes,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Is double dating twice the fun?

Or does it make it twice as difficult?

It’s an interesting predicament that most singles find themselves in from time to time.  You and a friend both have dates lined up and you think it might be a good idea to meet them at the same time. After all, there’s more fun in a group isn’t there?

Of course, this type of scenario comes with it’s own set of problems that you wouldn’t get on a one to one night out.

What if one of your fancies your friend’s date instead?  Who decides where to go?

On the plus side, more people means more conversation and less chance of it drying up.

The reality is that it’s only ever going to work if you are all quite similar in personality. Otherwise one person will dominate the conversation or another might be too shy and let everyone else do the talking.

My advice is to give it a go every once in a while, just to spice your dating life up a bit.   You can get feedback from your friend after the event and see how you think each other did. They are likely to give you an honest answer and you can discuss your next step.  You never know, you might even learn a thing or two.  Just make sure you pay attention to YOUR date and don’t flirt with the other person.

Double dating can work byt don’t make a habit of it as you won’t get to know someone properly if you aren’t on your own.   You don’t need anyone else to hold your hand!

If you’ve got a funny or interesting double date story then please email it to me at   info@asiansinglesolution.com

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Mobile phones are becoming increasingly more powerful.

With power comes new ways to help you with dating.

The latest of these is a new app for the IPhone that helps you locate other singles in your area using the GPS tracker on your phone .  The idea is that you would have a dating profile (and photo), turn it on and then you could pinpoint any matches within walking distance. So rather than mess around with online dating, you would know who is single instantly and be able to go up and say hello there and then.

Do you think this is something that the Asian Single Solution should introduce?  Would you find it useful?

My own gut feeling is that this would rather take the fun and mystery out of dating.  After all, the fun is with the initial flirtation and the whole “getting to know each other” process before you meet.  That way you can get the build up, the butterflies and the anticipation – which help create the chemistry and attraction.  If you have to resort to an app then you’ll lose the mystery.  All you’ll be left with is random strangers trying to come and chat you up.  This might be good for some people, but if you don’t have the confidence to walk up and say hello in the first place then nothing is going to change that.  If you CAN talk to strangers, then you won’t need an app in the first place.

Here’ s a question I’d like your help with.  If you could have the PERFECT dating app on your phone, what features would you like it to have?  Would it be something to help you get more dates?  Or perhaps to improves the dates you already have?

Please post your thoughts and comments here please.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Our Asian Birthday was a big success.

Thank you for helping us celebrate.

This month the Single Solution celebrates it’s 9th year of operation.  On Saturday we had a our Asian birthday party and we were delighted that it was packed out with 200 guests.

Here are a few of the photos so you can get a feel of the event.

We were delighted to welcome back Scott and his delicious Chocolate Fountain.

DJ Titch also went down a storm as usual, entertaining everyone with his music.

Thank you to everyone for your continued support.  We plan to make things even bigger and better so please do help spread the word.

James and Paul

www.asiansinglesolution.com

August was another fantastic month for us.

Here are some of the success stories and feedbacks we had across the Single Solution sites.

“I’d like to take this opportunity to express how much I’ve enjoyed using the site and associated events, and the ongoing success it brings me in my dating life.” KT

“I have finally met the perfect one. Thanks for the help” DG

“Good site and the chat facility is a nice option to have.” AC

“Service is good and I enjoyed the speed dating event I went to.” KP

“Thanks for everything” TV

“Good website and genuine profiles” CG

“I think it is a good service and may use this service in the future.”  RP

“Worked for me! Been with my partner that I met on the website for almost a year now. Thanks.” PS

“The one event I attended was interesting and well organised” BS

“Thanks for a good service” RH

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single. Feed back : A very good site.” RB

“I thought the site was good, and spoke with a couple of interesting people,I’d recommend it.” AA

“I’m no longer single. I thought the events were great though, especially the ice breaker so keep up the good work.” PS

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single. Feed back : very very good.” DK

“Easy to use, good website” PK

“Good: Speed dating was enjoyable – great skill building! Venue: Pleasant, classy. Staff: Friendly. Website: Excellent and easy. Met a few interesting women and made good friends with at least 3; still dating two of them.” KT

“You provide a good service and have enjoyed the events I have been to” TT

“I think the website is really good” SJ

“Icebreakers are good to get even the nervous going. Keep it going you’re doing a good job.” AP

“Good mix of people, nice venue” RC

“Excellent servive…great customer service.. many thanks..ajay” AM

“Good site, easy to use.” SP

“Your site is very good, i did meet some interesting potential partners” GS

Women and Men both think differently.

So make sure you know what to discuss on a date.

1) Talk about family as women want a man who is close to them. It shows stability, loyalty and a kind nature.

2) If you’ve got a pet, children or nieces/nephews/god children then talk about them – women want to know that you’ll make a good possible father to their future kids.

3) Don’t bring up past relationships, but talk about the future instead. Keep discussions positive.

4) It’s important that you talk about what you are passionate about. By doing so you will naturally get enthusiastic and this will rub off on your date.

5) LISTEN to her own dreams and passions and show that you are interested in them too.

6) Don’t try and offer advice if she talks about a problem.  She doesn’t want a solution, just the chance to air her thoughts.

7) If you are looking for a serious relationship then now is the time to ask them if they want the same. If not, don’t waste any more time.

If you want to know what women like to talk about, just buy some female magazines.  Keep up with pop culture and showbiz gossip and you’ll never be stuck for words.

9) Men like to talk about facts and figures but this just bores women.  So instead, paint pictures with your words.

10)  Most importantly, show them you are interested by whatever they have to say.

Do you have your own thoughts on this?  Ladies, what would you like a man to talk about?  What should they avoid?

Happy dating!
James Preece – the Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com