The Asian Single solution News Feed

Asian Single Solution Launches

2008-12-17 15:29:26 New Asian Website

We are pleased to announce that our new Asian site www.asiansinglesolution.com is now live.

You can choose which site you wish to be on, or use both if you wish. Terms and Conditions are the same for both sites, and both are trading names for Go Dating Ltd

Your Profile

Your profile has been copied over to the new site but is also still on SingleSolution.com

Your log in and password are unchanged and are the same for both sites.

When you next log into singlesolution.com you will be offered the option to go straight to the Asian site and you can migrate your paid membership to the new site if you have one.

Messages

We have copied your messages (as at yesterday) over to the Asian site. Messages between other users who are not Asian will remain on the SingleSolution.com site.

If you currently have unread mail, you may continue to receive notifications from both sites until you read the mail on both sites, or change your user preferences which can be found under Edit Profile.

Newsletters and emails

Newsletters will be from the new Asian domain. Please add info@asiansinglesolution.com to your address book.

Events

All our Asian events will be managed from Asiansinglesolution.com

All bookings and post event messaging will be through The Asian site.

Required Action

1. In the new site, please add your Religion if you have not done so as this is needed for the search

and add your Regional Origin if important to you. Go to Edit Profile

2. On both sites, check your profile visibility and messaging preferences. Delete profile on singlesolution.com if you wish. See under Edit Profile

If you find any bugs or have any questions or comments, please email info@asiansinglesolution.com

Would you take a love potion?

2009-01-20 17:35:52 It was reported in the press this week that scientists are on the verge of producing a genuine love potion. Apparently they close to creating drugs that would simulate the effects of falling in love.��These�could be used to alter the brain's emotion-controlling areas to�increase or�decrease feelings of attraction. It's not the first time that the media has been fascinated by the idea of a "love potion."�Pheramones have long been available but there is little evidence that they really work. However, tests have shown that the hormone oxytocin can boost emotional feelings in animals.� Such hormones could be used to boost fidelity and even help strengthen marriages. If such a potion were available, would you want to try it?� What would happen if they found out or when the effect wore off?� How would you feel if you discovered someone had given it to you? Do let us know your thoughts either on here or by emailing us at info@asiansinglesolution.com � �

How to motivate yourself

2009-02-05 12:18:32

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Pick up a newspaper read the front page and be utterly depressed. The same can be said for watching the news. These are challenging and quite harsh times. So how can we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and get a spring in our step?

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The following should help.

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1)�� Be thankful for what you have

It�s very easy to moan about the day to day chores that we have to do, people who get us down, rude people in London but what about sparing a thought for all the wonderful things we have in our lives. So thank you for wonderful friends, family, girlfriend, boyfriend, food, house, job, health service, peace etc. Each and every morning write a list for everything� you are grateful for. It can be a short list of 10 things taking under 5 minutes or even a page long. It doesn�t matter � the important thing is to actually feel gratitude for what you have. It also makes you realise how lucky you actually are!

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2)�� Exercise and more exercise

One of the best ways to be motivated and put yourself into a positive frame of mind is to exercise at least for at least 30 minutes per day. This releases endorphins, clears the mind and makes you re focus. You can even brain storm whilst on the stepper or running machine. If you are feeling tired or lethargic this is again one of the best ways to change that state of mind.

It is even better if you can go for a run outside, enjoying the peace and tranquillity, the beautiful park, you will feel recharged and wonderful after.

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3)�� Start small

Been putting off that task because you�re spending too long procrastinating? Has it reached that point where it really needs to be done, deadlines due? Just do it in small bits. Imagine that feeling when it is actually complete and you don�t need to worry about it any more. Reward yourself with a mini treat after. Avoid all distractions in the meantime. Divert the phone if need be, get off the internet (one of the worst distractions) and start the job, a little each day goes a long way.

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4)�� Think big

Whilst you may start small have a big vision and keep that in mind. Starting small means you are closer to the end result. This will in turn motivate you and help you reach your final goal.

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5)�� Act enthusiastically

Even if at this point you are not feeling the motivation, just pretend you are. Pretend you are feeling happy and have completed the job in hand. Once you act enthusiastically you will be enthusiastic, this will in turn motivate you.

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6)�� Get help or delegate some of the work

A problem shared is a problem halved. Life is so much more fun when you share. If you are having problems getting started talk over some of the issues with your colleagues, they may be able to share some of the burden. He / she may even get you motivated again so you once again find your mojo!

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7)�� Get some advice/ have a mentor

Talk to someone who knows about the job in hand. Ask for the benefit of their experience, get some ideas on how you can proceed. Their advice will be helpful and motivate you.�

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8 )�� Have a daily plan

Do a little bit more each day. There is no point to start motivated and not follow up on any action points tomorrow. Have a daily plan and tick off each point once completed. Write yourself a plan for the next day. Find your energy and enthusiasm grow each day.

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9)�� Have lots to look forward to.

Make arrangements to see friends so you always have things to look forward to. Pamper yourself too. Book yourself a massage, theatre tickets, football or rugby tickets. Do whatever makes you feel great.

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10) Have visual goals

It is helpful to have visual goals. Whatever that is you are working towards, make it visual. It maybe something material like a car, or a vacation you have been looking forward to for the longest time. Take or cut out a picture of it and post it at a conspicuous place at work or at home where you can see it often. So that when you feel discouraged, this will remind you of your goal and will help you keep your focus.

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Written by Alexandra Abrahams, Dating Expert

The Perfect Online Dating Profile

2009-02-23 14:35:35

How much thought do you put into your online dating profile?�� What do you think you�d have to write about to get the best results?��

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Studies show that men tend to look for someone they find physically attractive, sporty and understanding while women want someone understanding, funny and in touch with their emotions.

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The big question, is do you write about you or write about the person you are looking for?�� Professor Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire carried out a study at the Edinburgh International Science Festival to help answer this question.� He asked �40 men and 40 women to write 25-word personal ads � then got another set of volunteers to circle the ones that appealed.

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The results showed a �golden formula� that you should stick to when writing a profile.�� You should spend 70 per cent of the profile describing you and 30 per cent describing what you are looking for. If you spend more than 70% of the profile talking about yourself then you might appear to be egotistical. Likewise, you may give you the impression you are trying to hid something �if you don�t write enough about yourself.��

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In the studies, the ads that were closest to the 70:30 rule were the ones that had clearly the largest number of replies.

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Interestingly, Wiseman used a separate panel of volunteers to predict which ads they thought would get the most responses. There was a huge and evident gender difference. The male volunteers were extremely good at predicting which ads would have the most success while the women completely failed.

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Wiseman concluded that women should perhaps get a man to look over their dating profile to get the best results.

Are you too knackered for sex?

2009-02-27 15:25:29 � We were fascinated to hear about a recent study that was carried out by GMTV. Apparently 79.2% of us would prefer a good night's sleep to sex. They also found that seven out of 10 people have trouble sleeping. In fact, only 12% of the 8,500 people who took part thought they were getting enough sleep.� People are working longer and longer hours in increasingly stressful jobs so they find it hard to switch off at night. Dr Chris Idzikowski, the Director of the Edinburgh Sleep Centre, said "Disrupted sleep not only impacts on quality of life, but there's an increased risk of higher blood pressure and its consequences - heart attacks and strokes. "Many people have jobs that demand a lot of attention and attention is the first mental ability to deteriorate after a poor night's sleep.Some people think they can manage on less, but really they aren't performing or feeling as well as they might. The average for adults is around 7.5 hours, so those 40% are right - they understand that they're not functioning properly." If you are having trouble sleeping then ironically sex can help. It can be a natural sleep inducer. Not only will it tire you out and take your mind off things, but sex releases chemicals ( especially in men) that will relax and help you drift off. Of course, if it's the other way around and your lack of sex is causing you sleepless nights, you know where to come for help!

Why do women seem to pay more than men for their tickets?

2009-03-04 12:43:52 It is frustrating that women�s prices often seem higher than the men�s prices. However, please remember to factor in the timing. We always have cheaper female tickets too, but they tend to sell out more quickly. The average price for male tickets often works out the same or even higher than the women, because most men book nearer the event when the ticket price is higher. On the event dates typically men pay �30 when its sold out for women, so men are not being rewarded. Please do not analyse the pricing. You have to trust us to do what is necessary to populate the event despite what you think might be fair or otherwise. It�s not just about maximising profits. Most of our real stress is to do with getting an even ratio of men to women.

Why can't I log into my account?

2009-03-04 17:05:43 If you have having problems logging in, firstly make sure you are entering the correct password. If you've forgotten you can request a new one using the "password reminder" option. If that still doesn't work, try these in order: 1. Please click on page refresh before logging in. 2. Try another page to log in from eg http://www.singlesolution.com/events/ 3. Clear temp internet files. You can do this in Internet Explorer by clicking on TOOLS, then INTERNET OPTIONS, then BROWSING HISTORY. 4. Clear your cookies. Do this the same was as step 4. 5. Try another browser, eg you can download Firefox for free and we never have problems with it. go to www.mozilla.com/firefox/

Where have my credits gone?

2009-03-04 17:06:28 Please remember that there is a standing charge of 5 credits per month. Its pretty nominal, eg if you purchased 100 credits at �20 it would take nearly 2 years to erode! The charge is really to encourage people to use them up and to stop the free credits lasting forever. If you've only bought 10 credits (our trial) then we expect you will use them up well before the month is up. The standing charge is stated in many different places on the site, eg on the dating home page, in the accounts section, and in help under "how much does it cost". If you have Premium Membership as well as credits then there will be bo standing charge as long as you are a member.

What's the dress code for the events?

2009-03-04 17:22:42 We always ask guests to dress to impress at our events. By this we suggest that you wear a nice shirt or dress and don't wear blue jeans or trainers. Our parties are aimed at professionals so we have been trying to be stricter on dress codes. It's worth noticing that the men who wear suits and the women who dress up are the ones who have the best success! Yes, you might feel more comfortable in jeans but remember you are advertising yourself in a similar way to a job interview. People will be looking at you and making quick judgements based on the way you dress. Also, it�s not just our dress code that we have to enforce, but also the policies of the particular bars that we use. If you are in any doubt, we often have our Style Consultant at the events who will be able to give you some tips and advice.

How do I get my event ticket?

2009-03-04 17:39:10 We don't issue printed tickets. Instead, when you book up you will get an email confirmation from us. Please print this off if you've not been before and bring it with you. You just need to quote your "nickname" on the door when you arrive. If you have booked for friends please make sure that they know the nicknames you signed them up with. This will usually be there first name and a number, unless you change it. You can always make sure that you have booked by checking in your account and look under "My Events" on your home page once signed in. If you booked through another ticket agent rather than www.asiansinglesolution.com you will need to register a quick profile on our site first. Once you've done this, email is at info@asiansinglesolution.com and we can then add you to the guestlist.

Do guests come on their own or with friends?

2009-03-05 16:13:13 Many people do bring their friends along to the events, but plenty of people do come on their own. Remember that we have hosts at the events who will make sure you are introduced to the other guests and not left on your own. If you are a bit nervous then do ask them for help as they might not be aware of this. If you do come with friends, try and split up as some people find it hard to approach groups.

Why women should contact men first

2009-03-12 14:28:41

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Many women believe that they should wait for men to message them on dating sites. They might have the old fashioned view that it's up to men to message them first or are worried about appearing to be forward. So they�wait and wait and wonder why they never seem to get messages from men they are interested in.��

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Men and women approach online dating in different ways, and once you realise this you can use it to your advantage.� Men tend to collect up their "favourites" and then contact many women at once, in one big hit.�This is called the Shotgun approach and is very hit and miss. Women, on the other hand, can be more selective and will either wait to see who contacts them or just send one or two messages.

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The secret is to be proactive and actively target men you are interested. Don't sit and wait for them to come to you or someone else will snap them up.�Imagine you are applying for a job and your dating profile is your CV.� Would you send out your CV to prospective employees or would you expect them to come and find you first?��

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Check back on the site every day and contact the new men.� By doing so, you'll be top listed in the searches as shows the men the most recent women to log into the site.� You'll then find more men are contacting you anyway.

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Men absolutely love it when women message them first.� If you've got a great photo, interesting profile and are in the right age group then this is very flattering.� What man wouldn't be interested?� It's not overly flirtatious to write to a man - after all you are both on a dating site with the same intentions.�

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So what should you say?�� Imagine you are in a bar or at a party. How would you get their attention? Perhaps you'd look over and smile.� You need to do the same thing in your first email. Write just enough to get them hooked and capture their imagination.�� Ask them how their day is going or what they are up to for the weekend.

So why not send some messages now?� You'll see much better results and�might just make someone's day!

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James Preece

Dating Expert

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Birmingham Asian Saturday Singles Party

2009-03-17 13:56:20 The Asian Single Solution had it's first ever Birmingham Saturday party on 14th March. We ran this in response to many requests for a party in this Area, following the huge successes of our London parties. By all accounts the party was great fun and well attended. We've heard of a few success stories already so we're very pleased about that. We are planning to run these Birmingham parties on a regular basis, so we intend to get bigger and better. In the meantime, we rely on word of mouth to grow, so please do help us spread the word and tell all your friends about us. It's only with your assistance that we can keep running them.

Rules for a Great Date

2009-03-31 16:08:22 We've put together some useful tips on having a great date that we thought you might find useful: 1) Be kind and considerate. Observe good manners and treat your date as you�d wish to be treated yourself. 2) Be generous. For the best outcome, men should always offer to pay but women should not take advantage of this and over the period of several dates then the women should take their turn. 3) Take an interest, make sure you a good listener. People love it when you pay attention to them and they�ll instinctively like you a lot more. 4) Use Body Language to your advantage� be flirty, smile and pay attention to the signals they are giving off too. 5) Be honest about your intentions and don�t play games. Follow up afterwards, even if you aren�t interested. 6) Do something around an activity, so the focus isn�t just on you. Make sure it�s something where you can both still talk and get to know each other. 7) Dress up, take pride in your appearance. Brush your hair, floss your teeth and make sure you smell nice. Remember you want to present the best version of yourself possible so do make the effort. 8 ) Don�t talk about exes or competition for your dates. Focus on making them feel special instead. 9) Have several talking points pre-prepared. This will make you seem interesting and helps fill any awkward silences 10) Pay a compliment to your date, but don�t go overboard. 11) Wear nice underwear. Even if you aren�t intending to have sex, it will make you feel sexier and more confident. James Preece & Paul Ergatoudis, Dating Experts for the Single Solution

Some great questions you can ask

2009-03-31 17:04:29 We always recommend that you think up lots of great questions that you ask people to keep conversation flowing. There is nothing worse that an awkward silence when you are first getting to know someone. Make sure you don�t ask open ended questions as you�ll only get �yes or no� answers which can kill your conversation stone dead! To get you started, we�ve come up with some great questions that you can ask. Just remember to really listen to the answers and don�t keep firing off questions. Instead, try and blend them naturally into your chat. 1) Are you a morning or night person? 2)Do you believe in life on other planets? 3)Do you have any bad habits? 4)Do you prefer sweet or salty foods? 5)If you were a fictional character who would you be? 6) Which is your most cherished childhood memory? 7) If you could be any animal, what would you be? 8 ) If you could have any superpower, what would it be? 9) If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go? 10) If you had a million dollars, what would you spend it on? 11) What do you think about right before falling asleep? 12)What is one thing that no one knows about you? 13) If you could have three wishes what would they be? 14) What is one thing you like about being an adult? 15) What is one thing you miss about being a kid? 16) What is one thing you would change about yourself? 17) What is your dream job? 18 ) If you were stranded on a desert island, what three items would you most want ? 19) In case you and I were going out and we had a fight. How would you try to patch things up? 20) What is your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night? 21) What is your favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon? 22) What is your first thought when you wake up? 23) What personality traits do you look for in a partner? 24) What was your favorite childhood television program? 25) Would you rather be rich or have true love? James Preece - Dating Expert

Celebrity Dating: Lindsay Lohan

2009-04-08 12:15:30 Lindsay Lohan has revealed that she is "taking a brief break" from her romance with Samantha Ronson. Speaking to E! News, the Mean Girls actress confirmed speculation that the couple have decided to part ways amid rumours that Ronson had been caught cheating. "We are taking a brief break so I can focus on myself," said 22 year old Lohan. It was reported earlier that Lohan had written several messages on her Twitter account accusing her partner of being unfaithful. She is also thought to have been denied entry to a Ronson family party on Friday evening.

Celebrity Dating: Noel Fielding

2009-04-08 12:16:10 Noel Fielding has laughed off suggestions that he and Pixie Geldof are dating. The Mighty Boosh star was supposedly spotted kissing the 19-year-old on a night out in London last week. However, Fielding, 35, insisted that they are "just friends", adding: "It's just these things are... like fairytales, aren't they? "We're just friends that's all, but you can't be friends in this country without someone booking a church and trying to get you married." Fielding joked that he is really in a relationship with his Mighty Boosh co-star Julian Barratt. "We live like one road away from each other, I have just bought a house where on the roof garden you can see into his window so I am gonna get a telescope to make sure he says he's doing what he's doing," he said.

Celebrity Dating: Kylie Minogue

2009-04-08 12:16:48 Kylie Minogue's has apparently moved Spanish boyfriend Andres Velencoso into her Chelsea home. The 31-year-old model was thought to be considering making London his full-time home in January after stating he didn't enjoy long-distance relationships. A friend has told The Mail On Sunday: "Andres and Kylie are going strong and when Andres is over in London he stays with Kylie. He has pretty much moved in." Minogue, 40, has apparently been working on a new album which is said to include songs about her relationship with Velencoso. An insider said "She has penned a number of tracks, one of which is called 'He's The One (For Sure)',"

Welcoming Asian DJ Precious to our parties

2009-04-29 14:43:26 We've often had requests to get a great DJ in for our Asian parties.� A good DJ means gives the parties a new focus as our guests can dance once the formal activities ( speed dating etc) are finished.� So we went looking for the best Asian DJ out there and we were delighted to find the legendary DJ Precious. Parmjit Singh Bhamra�s (aka DJ PRECIOUS) has a unique style of hosting, djing and mixing Bhangra and Bollywood along with British beats.
DJ Precious will be spinning his decks at our 9th May party at the Abbey.� He has a huge following, so we expect lots of new guests to come along whenever he is playing. He's been spreading the word and promoting our parties so we hope he will continue to play at many of our parties for along time to come. We are looking into the possibility of getting more Asian DJs and entertainment into our events and even holding a special DJ focussed party.�� Please let us know if you�d like us to arrange this. Do come along on the 9th and help make this a big success.

Is your wedding clock ticking?

2009-05-14 12:42:23 We were very amused to read about a new bra that�s been promoted in Japan called the �Wedding Bra� This amazing bra is aimed at single women looking for a husband. There is a large digital countdown timer on the front and small slot just below it. Apparently, the wearer sets the time to show the date they want to get married and it will then tick down the time until it runs out. The only way to stop the alarm going off is to insert an engagement ring into the slot. If you do that it will play �The Wedding March.� While this is obviously just a PR stunt and not intended to ever be manufactured, we can�t help but think that any man would run a mile if they saw a women wearing this. It also looks like it�s been cobbled together by the team from the Japanese equivalent of �Blue Peter.� We can only hope that she doesn�t intend to travel anywhere by plane. Jame Preece, Dating Expert for www.singlesolution.com

Peter Andre and Katie Price

2009-05-20 12:36:59 The latest Celebrity Dating talk this week has all been about Peter Andre and Katie Price aka Jordan. They split this week after over three years of marriage, allegedly due to Katie�s partying. Only time will tell if this is for real or just a publicity stunt but the latest news is that Pete has a surprise waiting for him when he returns from Cyprus. While he�s been away clearing his head , Katie has apparently ordered her staff to put his clothes, gym equipment, jewelry and photographs into storage. "Katie's still very hurt after Pete dumped her and wants to get him back. She phoned up and was screaming down the phone at staff to get rid of all his stuff� said a friend, "Peter is in for a bit of a shock. Everything he owns has been taken from the home and put into storage." We can�t help but wonder who will get custody of the ITV2 Camera Crew if they really do divorce. Did they get put into storage too?

Bhangra Party

2009-06-03 16:32:21 Thank you to everyone that came to our Hindu & Sikh "Bhangra" Singles party at the Cuban Bar. We had over 150 guests who took part. For this party, we had DJ Precious who really made sure he got everyone dancing once the speed dating had finished. We're delighted to say that he'll be back at some of our upcoming parties so do watch the website! We've also had some great feedback as you'll see below. "Thanks for a great DJ - the speed dating part was great fun!" "One of the best nights I have ever been to!" "Really enjoyed the DJ and your staff were great!" We took a few photos that we though you might enjoy.

We are simply the best

2009-06-04 10:52:25 It�s often said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.�� Well, it seems that a week doesn�t go by without yet another company trying to copy what we do. Many companies come and go, trying to emulate our successful formula and running second rate events.� They try and use the venues we work so hard to find, attempt to poach our customers and undercut our prices. We�ve even found some who copy and paste the text from our website, using it as their own!� These companies don�t last very long. We were the first company to introduce the ice-breaking card game, which other companies adapted into the Lock and Key game.� We also provide more (and better) hosts than anyone else. Competition isn�t a bad thing as it makes us work harder. � We know that we are the industry leaders and have the most experience, busiest parties�and nicest guests.� We offer the best value for money events and are in this for the longer term, rather than trying to make a quick buck and then disappearing. As we move towards our 8th year of business, we promise to keep on trying out new ideas and events.� Asian Single Solution is the original and the best and we thank you for your support. James Preece Dating Expert for the Asian Single Solution.

The Golden Rule for making a great first impression

2009-06-10 10:55:28 If you want to make a fantastic first impression, stand out from the crowd, build rapport instantly and impress people then there is one thing you need to do above everything else. .... SMILE! Yes, this is a painfully obvious tip but it's one that many many people overlook.� It's the number rule for flirting but you'd be amazed how many people come to our events and don't smile.� Even when we welcome them on the door, they look grumpy and don't even acknowledge our hellos.� They'll stand in the corner and look grumpy and this makes it very hard for anyone to approach them.� We realise that this might be because they are nervous, but you really don't need to be.� You just need to step out of your comfort zone a little. Remember our hosts are always there to help you. If you are bit a shy then it's easy to fake a smile. Think of something that makes you laugh or picture a happy memory. A warm smile will make you seem friendly and confident and instantly puts everyone at ease.� Think these happy thoughts before you enter the venue and you'll feel so much better. Just don't go overboard of you'll end up looking a little gormless! James Preece Dating Expert for Asiansinglesolution.com

Why you need to fill in your Online Dating Profile properly

2009-06-10 15:25:38 Imagine if you clicked this blog and all you read was "I'll come back to this later."�� How would you feel? Perhaps disappointed and ever so slightly cheated. It never ceases to amaze us how often people don't bother filling in their profile properly.� A lot of people will write things such as "I'll tell you Later," "Ask Me for more Info" or "I can't believe I'm doing this."�� This is such a waste of time!�� What sort of message do you thing this gives to other members?�� Firstly, it makes you look ignorant and lazy. If you can't be bothered to take the time to write a few things about yourself then why should anyone else be interested in getting to know you? Remember that your profile is there as an advert.� If you write interesting things then you'll give other people the chance to ask you about them. The more interesting and fun you sound then the more chance there is that they will contact you. Think very carefully about what you DO say. Don't write things for the sake of it. As a guideline, write a few well crafted lines about yourself, followed by a couple of lines about the sort of person you are looking for. You don't have to write an essay -� too much is almost as bad as too little - but just enough to give everyone a snapshot of your personality. Very important:� Include a "Call to Action" at the end of your profile.�� This is a sentence that will encourage people to get in touch.� This can be a direct statement, such as "Contact me now and let's see if there's a spark!"� or "What are you waiting for?� Email me !"�� Alternatively, it can be a question.� Good examples So take a few minute out of your busy lives now to write a better profile.�� You'll see the rewards as soon as the emails start flooding in! James Preece� Dating Guru for Asiansinglesolution.com

The Perks of Premium Membership

2009-06-23 16:54:56 We like to think of our Premium Membership scheme�as a special, VIP club.�� By paying us each month for our Online Dating services, our Premium Members also get massive discounts off all events.�� This isn't just for them, but for their friends too.� That means that the savings can work out much more than the actualy cost of membership.� Great value or what? On top of that, we run events just for our Premium members in mind.� This includes special Wine Tasting, Theatre, Comedy and Casino evenings and they are great opportunities to meet new people in London. Our latest events have been "money can't buy" concert tickets to Beyonce and Michael Jackson.� Not only are these sold out concerts, but our guests get to sit in the VIP Single Solution box and have access to the VIP lounge and Entrance too. This means no queuing when you arrive or when you go to the bar. All this for just the regular price of Online Dating membership! Our aim is to run more and more new and exciting events so if there is anything you would like to see you do then please contact us. � James Preece�� Dating Coach for the Asian Single Solution

See what we do on video

2009-06-26 12:16:52 After seven years in the business we finally realised that the best way to convey to new visitors, just how much fun our events are, is with video. Our online dating site is amazing too, a video about that is coming soon. A short film about a recent AsianSingleSolution.com event at the Abbey Bar Another film where we chat to real guests at a recent event A short film about our partner site www.singlesolution.com BBC1 news feature about our comedy night James and I (Paul) chatting about events James and Paul chat about some dating tips

Are you Proactive or Reactive?

2009-07-21 16:58:56 I quite often get emails from members saying they are disappointed that they've not had many emails on the site. The funny thing is, when I investigate I usually notice that these people haven't sent any messages out themselves! To be successful with online dating, you need to take action and not just sit back and wait for things to happen. This same rule is true in all aspects of life. If you want a job, do you mail out your CV or do you hope that job finders will magically find you? If you wanted to launch a business, would you try and promote it or pray that customers will come to you instead. I hope you get my point. Even if you have an amazing photo and an outstanding profile, Mr or Miss Right might be getting emails from other people while you hesitate. Rather than try and find you, they will spend their time getting to know others instead. The people who get what they want in life as those who make a plan and follow through on it. Spend at least 15 minutes each day carefully searching through profiles that you like and send them a quick carefully crafted email. Don't give up if you don't have a fast response, just keep learning and writing emails for a couple of weeks. You'll be delighted when the replies start pouring in! James Preece Dating Expert for Asiansinglesolution.com

Is their ex getting in your way?

2009-08-03 15:10:26 Sometimes people stay friends with their exes, but this can make it hard for a new couple. Here are some tips if you are worried about how to handle them: 1) Communicate. If their ex is getting in the way then you need to talk things through before problems build up. Find out what went wrong and what caused them to break up. Make sure there are no feelings left or questions unresolved. If you are worried about them getting in the way then it's up to your partner to reassure you, not the other way around. 2) Give them Space. Let them meet every now and again if they are friends. They are entitled to have their own friends and they must at some point have had lots in common. If they feel like you are pressurizing them, they might panic and become defensive, which will cause tensions and arguments. 3) Don't display signs of jealousy. Even if you are, then never ever let her know. Instead, be overfriendly with her and show her how happy you are with your partner. Always smile, laugh at his jokes, hold his hand and show her you are completely non-threatened by her. 4) Don't compete. Keep in mind that you've already won as he's chosen to be romantically involved with you. So don't feel you have to outdo her or fall into the trap of constantly comparing yourself to her. It�s you that he wants to be with so it�s game over for her. 5) Don't try and make him jealous or her angry. It can be tempting to flirt with other guys or try and wind her up, but game playing will only backfire on you. There�s no need to create barriers or problems if they don�t exist in the first place. 6) Get to know her - you might just make a new friend. You never know, she might even be more worried about what you are thinking than the other way round. At least if you know her and how she thinks then you have the strong advantage. 7) Make sure you have a wide social circle yourself. That way you have other people to talk to and aren't dependent on your partner. He�ll know that you have other options and places to go to, which will make him realise life goes on without him. 8) Be cautious. If there are three of you in the relationship and she�s causing problems then take action. Just because he�s happy with you, doesn�t mean she doesn�t want him back. Watch out for warning signals like secret text and phone calls, him wearing clothes she likes or him simply disappearing. 9) Trust him. It can be hard, but it's only through trust that a relationship can develop. Take his word that they are just friends�.at least until something happens that makes you doubt otherwise! 10) Give it time. It might be an annoyance or inconvenience but don�t worry. She will eventually meet someone else and will be off the radar and out of your life. You don't have to deal with her forever! James Preece, Relationship and Dating Expert for Asiansinglesolution.com

The Love Bus Rides Again

2009-08-05 12:14:40 The Asian Single Solution Love Bus made it's triumphant return to the streets of London on Thursday 23rd July. Following on from successful trip in February , our new improved "open top" London Love Bus spent the day travelling around the City and the West End, letting everyone know about our amazing singles parties and online dating. To make sure nobody could miss us, we hired a 17 piece brass band to serenade the crowds with Love songs. Everyone had great fun and we gave out 100s of flyers and goody bags. We've had a great response to our promotion which will attract many new members to our site.

Single Solution loves Loose Women

2009-08-05 12:26:58 The Single Solution were very proud to sponsor the send-off for "Loose Women's" Jackie Brambles at Zebrano Bar last Monday, 3rd August. After a successful 3 year stint on the popular and award-winning daytime programme Jackie is moving on to new projects. We had an amazing party, with a huge celebrity turnout including Lulu, Zoe Salmon, Pooja Shah and Dr Fox. Roachford sang live and everyone carried on partying until the early ours of the morning. This was also great exposure for the Single Solution as it increased brand awareness and got our name into many newspapers.

Pooja Shah meets James and Paul

2009-08-11 11:27:35 The Single Solution were proud to sponsor the recenty party for "Loose Women's" Jackie Brambles. During the party James and Paul chatted to actress Pooja Shah (Eastenders, Bend it Like Beckham) who turned out to be a fan of Asian Single Solution! "I have always thought of myself as a confident and independent woman, enjoying several happy and long-term relationships. During my "single" periods in between, I have never been afraid to give online dating a try and would recommend Asiansinglesolution as professional and well organised for anyone in a similar situation. You do not have to be looking for "the one", you may just want to meet some attractive and interesting people."

Treat them mean and keep them keen?

2009-08-12 16:01:12 There's one dating question I often get asked that I'm going to discuss here. When you start seeing a potential partner, is it better to pursue them or play hard to get? Time and again, people are advised to play it cool and make any potential love do all chasing. They'll wait for them to call or text first, or keep them waiting. But studies show that this technique doesn't work. One particular study involved a female member of a Dating agency. Her brief was that when a guy called her up to ask for a date, she would either say yes right away or pause for 3 seconds. After the call the men were told what had happened and asked for their thoughts. Playing hard to get made absolutely no difference and most men didn't care about the pause. Another recent study took a group of men and asked if they would rather date someone keen to have a relationship, or someone who made them do all the chasing. Their conclusions were very interesting and showed that there were arguments for and against both types. The perceptions were that they thought that "easy to obtain" women were fun to be with but could be embarrassing in public. On the other hand, hard to get women were great for the ego but could be cold and unfriendly. Overwhelming research shows that the best strategy is to give the impression that you are hard to get but are still really keen on your potential partner. That�s a strategy we�d definitely recommend. Don�t agree to every suggested date and make them realise you have a full social calendar. When you make time for them they will appreciate it even more. James Preece, Dating Guru for Asiansinglesolution.com

How NOT to walk into a party!

2009-08-18 16:10:55 I noticed a very interesting thing at a recent singles party I was working at. The party was in full swing, but one man arrived late. He darted into the room, stood by the stairs, with his head hanging low and his eyes fixed on the floor. He had a very pained expression on his face, that made him look like he was gurning while being attracted by bees. This was not the ideal way of making a good first impression at a party. At a singles party, many people have an eye on the door, just in case Mr or Miss Right walks in. I offered him some tips on the night and it turned out he felt awkward about being there. I thought it would be a good idea to share the advice I gave him about the right way to enter a party. 1) Just before you enter, breathe slowly to compose yourself. 2) Now walk slowly and confidently up to the doorway. 3) Imagine the doorway has a rope hanging down, that pulls you up to your full height. No slouching allowed. 4) Stand in the doorway and SMILE and pause for a couple for seconds. 5) Congratulations, you now look like somebody everyone has to talk to! James Preece Body Language and Dating Expert for Asiansinglesolution.com

How to break up without breaking down

2009-08-20 15:46:49 Not every relationship is going to work out and it can be really hard when you split up. Here are some top tips to help you cope: 1) Surround yourself with people who care about you. A break up can be like a bereavement so you need to with friends and family through the difficult time. They will make sure you keep eating and stay healthy. 2) You are entitled to be upset for a while. It's part of the moving on process so allow yourself the chance to be sad. You'll get bored of being miserable before you know it. 3)Time heals all wounds and gives you a chance to put things into perspective. You'll eventually meet someone even better even though it doesn't feel like it at the moment. 4)Don't do stupid things to make your ex jealous or try to get revenge. This only makes you feel better in the short term and can make things much worse. 5)Don't beat yourself up and go over and over why it didn't work out. Just because it didn't work out doesn't mean that you did something wrong or were wrong to put your trust in the relationship. 6) Look back on the good times - it's your experiences that make you the person you are. 7) Put your energy into the things that make you happy. Focus on going to the gym etc. If you stay busy and concentrate on other things this will take your mind off the breakup. 8) Even if you agree to be friends, agree to cut off all contact for at least a month. This will help the healing process. 9) Make a box of all the gifts, letters and photographs you have and give them to someone to keep safe. This stops you moping over them. You don't need to throw them out. 10) Once you have had time for the intial shock, get yourself back into the dating game and you'll soon be enjoying the chance to be single again. Try one of our singles parties. This will boost your confidence and show you that others are interested in you. James Preece Dating And Relationship Expert for www.asiansinglesolution.com

Can you ever get easy Sex?

2009-08-24 18:37:40 In the current time poor society, is there a place for casual dating? With the massive influx and growth of casual dating sites such as www.datinginsecret.com temptation is certainly out there. [caption id="attachment_156" align="alignleft" width="243" caption="Girl undressing"][/caption] So where have these sites come from? Online dating has now been around for about 10 years, and is perhaps now, one of the most popular ways to find a date. There is still some stigma around organised dating but that is definitely fading and most single people will have registered on at least one dating site. It was probably inevitable, that as the next step adult dating sites would slip into the mainstream. These are sites for people to meet, who are primarily looking for casual encounters, or no strings fun. They are used by single people looking for a simple encounter without the palaver, or indeed expense of proper dating, and also by married people looking to have an affair or to spice up their relationships. There is a risk of using these sites of course. What kind of people will you meet? Are they genuine? The real downside is perhaps that these sites create an additional catalyst for relationship breakdown. There isn't even a pretence that a married person is pretending to be single, these sites just allow people to tell it like it is. Our research into one of the leading Adult sites, www.datinginsecret.com has revealed that most people on these sites are actually single, and just looking for a bit of fun. As long as you are aware of the risks, and are not going to regret anything, then there is probably no harm in getting online, and you never know where it might lead. Maybe its time to fulfil those fantasies without the ties of a relationship.

We are 7 this week!

2009-09-14 15:56:26 A big thank you to everyone that came to help us celebrate at our two big 7th Birthday parties last Saturday. Our 30s to mid 40s party took place at Digress City with optional ceroc dancing and our Asian party was at The Cuban Bar. We've had some great feedback about both events so we hope you all have lots of fab dates lined up from it. 7 years is a very long time in the singles events world and we thank you for all your support over the years. We are constantly evolving and improving the services that we offer, so if you have any suggestions do let us know! Our next big party is our Halloween party on Sat 31st October. Halloween is always one of the "Top Three" parties of year, along with Valentines Day and Christmas. They always attract large numbers and we've pushed the boat out this year with a live band, tarot reader and magician. We'll be decorating the venue and will have some great prizes for the best costumes.

Dealing with an insecure boyfriend

2009-09-24 16:11:54 Sometimes you might date someone who feels that you are too good for them. This can be down to insecurity or low self esteem. They'll be paranoid and possessive which will cause you both problems. Here are some tips to help reassure him : 1) Surprise him every now and again. Send him a love letter or cook him a suprise meal. This will show subconsciously show him that you are thinking about him even when you aren't together. 2) Be a good listener. Show him that you value his opinions and what he has to say. People naturally feed connected when they believe they are being understood and listened to. 3) It's quite normal to feel insecure about things every now again. Reassure him and become his biggest cheerleader. He needs to know that you like him for the whole package and let him overhear you telling others how wonderful he is. 4) Make yourself available. Always take his calls and make time to be together. If you disappear it can make him think the worst. 5) Give him an item of jewellery (such as a watch) that he can wear. Every time he thinks about you he'll look at it and have an instant psychical and mental reminder about how much you care about it. James Preece Dating Expert for Asian Single Solution

The Dating Invoice

2009-10-02 16:36:25 We were sent this hilarious email that was supposedly send by a disgruntled guy after a date which we thought you might find amusing. Apparently this sort of thing does really happen! If you have a funnier email we'd love to read it! James Dating Coach www.asiansinglesolution.com

Subject: Invoice 6/12/04 Date: Sat, 12 Jun 2009 17:15:59 EDT Dear Dana: On June 5, you agreed to accept dinner, paid for in full, by me, based on your stated offer that we would go out again. In that you have ignored all overtures to said follow up meeting, you are hereby considered in breach of contract. To that end, you are being invoiced for 50% of the cost of the dinner, pursuant to the offer. For the record, the offer presented you with the option of not going out again and paying for half of the dinner, or going out again and not paying at all. You accepted these terms, choosing to go out again, as stated above, but have since failed to deliver your end of the agreement. In that this was merely a promise to meet, and not a promise to marry, the agreement is binding under New York law and does not require a written agreement (i.e. statute of frauds). Furthermore, this is absolutely not a joke. Your share is 50% of $74.51 which is a total of $37.25. Payment in full is expected within 30 days. You may remit to: Andrew Goldberg 720 Greenwich Street, #4d NY NY 10012

New Search Options

2009-10-05 11:18:56 We have added three new ways for you to mix up your search results. Searches have always been ordered by last logged in, which is a logical method. This means the users who are most active will always be at the top. The obvious issue is that with thousands of people logging in regularly, profiles can very quickly slip down the results. Go on holiday for a week, and your profile may be so far down the list that you'd need a spade to find it. Once results are displayed you can rearrange the results.

Last logged in (default)
I feel lucky (random)
Distance from you
Age

You then have the option to sort by Ascending or Descending. Ascending is the default and means, most recently logged in, closest to you, youngest first Enjoy. Go to Search Profiles now

Get your kit off!

2009-10-19 16:47:59 I've noticed something odd at some of our parties that I wanted to share with you. Guests often turn up with coats, hats, scarves etc which is quite normal considering the unreliable British weather. Most will put these in the cloakroom so they can relax and enjoy the evening. We always make sure that a cloakroom is available for this very reason. However.....sometimes guests prefer to keep their coats on and will keep wrapped up throughout the party. This really is quite an odd thing to do and I've been trying to work out the reasons for this. Of course, everyone is entitled to wear what they want but it really doesn't do anyone any favours. By keeping your coat on you are preparing yourself to leave before you've even started. When you keep your coat on, everyone else will assume you've had enough and are on the way out. It's just an unnecessary barrier and people will be reluctant to come and say hi. To make matters worse, I've even had these fully dressed guests complaining to me that that it's too warm in the venue! These guests have usually made a big effort to wear something smart and sexy but nobody will ever know. So take off your coats, reveal what's underneath and make the most of what you have. Don't hide behind a safety blanket. You'll get much better results and have a much more fun evening. James Preece Dating Coach for www.asiansinglesolution.com Read about Hindu Dating

Hindu Dating Trends in the UK

2009-11-11 14:15:08 Historically, Hindu singles met in Hindu society through introductions from their parents or other family members. In most cases, by the time the couple met up, there were already matrimonial negotiations going on between the parents! Hindu singles who have grown up in the UK, take a more modern approach, and may reject the old ways. They may find the old methods of introductions� embarrassing or too restrictive. Having been exposed to the ways their friends date, many Hindus want to meet different people and �fall in love� the British way. However, at the same time, they may still be interested in meeting people from their own culture.� This can prove challenging as it would be for any minority group in the population. [caption id="attachment_247" align="alignleft" width="209" caption="The Hindu Symbol Aum"][/caption] This fact has been the main factor in the rapid growth in popularity of online dating services and organised dating events catering to Hindu Asians and other Asian groups in the UK . Dating events and online dating allows Hindus to meet other like minded single people who share the same faith.

Hindu Social Events

Big events are a popular way for Hindus to meet. These events are run by www.asiansinglesolution.com and are held in UK Cities such as London and� Birmingham. London events are usually large parties of 100 to 200 people, whereas due to the smaller population, Birmingham events may typically be 50 to 60 people. Guests come for the express purpose of meeting others for dating purposes, although another key objective may be to have a good night out and� make new friends.� These events are arranged on the internet website where guests can book tickets and communicate with other attendees. They generally are organized according to religion, i.e. there might be a �Hindu + Sikh� event, and also age, i.e., for ages 22 to 36. The event may start with a mixer and social drinking, and then get down to business with speed dating. Other events may have games, or there may be dancing or a formal ball.

Hindu Speed Dating

One of the big trends these days, is Hindu speed dating.� Up to 40 singles or more may meet for a speed dating event in which one takes part in a number of mini-dates of short duration. Usually each date will last between two to six minutes. These short encounters all taking place in the same day allow guests to briefly get to know the other person and see if any sparks fly. No one is committed to any other person on the date, but those who hit if off can pursue things further. Speed dating provides a fun, and safe way of meeting lots of new people quickly. In this case, everyone will share the same Hindu religion. The group setting helps people overcome shyness that can ruin a normal blind date. Also some screening can take place before hand to make sure everyone is of a similar age and professional or economic status. Many people find this is far superior to approaching someone cold in a dance club or bar. Sometimes events may include an element of speed dating. Organised dating events from AsianSingleSolution.com cater specifically to single Asian professionals.

Hindu Online Dating

Online dating websites allow users to search for people who match their requirements in terms of interests, job type, income, education, height etc. Users can set these criteria to be very specific or broad. What makes online dating so popular is that users can browse the website and contact other people in their own spare and from the safety, convenience and security of their own homes, or office. By browsing through the profiles of other members on these sites, you get a lot of choices of pictures and personal information from the profiles. Once you have created a short list of candidates, then you can decide on you would like to meet on a more personal basis. At first, this might consist of only online chat or a brief exchange of emails. The next step is usually to have a brief chat on the phone. If all feels right a date can be set up and who knows where it might go from there! Why not book some events or sign up now for our Hindu dating service. Register on the left.

Sikh Dating

2009-11-11 14:41:53 Sikhs are diligent in their spirituality and loyalty to God. The compassion Sikhs demonstrate in their worship is directly related to their love lives. Sikh teens are becoming more and more frivolous in terms of dating and romance, but still adhere to the most respected rules of Sikhism if they choose to remain active in their faith. Romantic relationships are not prohibited in the faith of the Sikh, though the meaning of such a relationship is far different from that of many Western religions.

Sikh Dating Events

Dating events in the UK are organised by AsianSingleSolution.com Events are held in London and Birmingham and may be combined with Hindu events for convenience and to ensure greater numbers.� Sikhs are sometimes open to meeting single Hindus. Events will always include opportunities to meet other Sikh professionals, through ice breaking activities, hosting and Sikh speed dating.

Sikh Dating Relationships

[caption id="attachment_163" align="alignleft" width="100" caption="Sikh Khanda"][/caption] Sikhs must maintain a devotion to God that prohibits romance above spirituality. Many couples who date become so completely engrossed in one another that they do not give proper attention to spirituality and worship. The Sikh dating relationship must be one that does not take away from the compassion they hold for their God. Romances are often undertaken in a Sikh culture to create a partnership working to promote spirituality and faith. While younger Sikhs may engage in flirtatious relationships that often lead to commitments for a period of time, no life bond is entered into without serious considerations of its impact on spirituality. Sikh dating in the United Kingdom has evolved to compensate for all levels of spirituality and a Sikh's desires in a partner. Websites and dating services bringing Sikhs together have options to accommodate those that are uncomfortable meeting in person on short notice, as well as participants who are eager to jump right in. Gatherings for UK Sikh singles have become extremely popular. This enables Sikh professionals to meet and engage with someone they've meet through a convenient and organised channel. One large aspect of Sikhism that affects dating relations Sikhs is the belief that a Master Plan will be taking place. There is nothing to be gained by exerting all of one's energy into a dating relationship when the gurus have stated the partner will be established in a larger Master Plan. As the Sikh youth has been raised with this set of beliefs, Sikh youth in the United Kingdom will be focused on dating only other Sikhs or those who will eventually choose the path to Sikhism. Dating someone outside this school of spirituality will only detract from the overall benefit of the belief-system itself. Sikhs may dabble in dating singles from other religions or sects, but will not marry too far outside their beliefs. It is not uncommon for Sikhs to hide relationships from their parents as youths, since the concept is considered a detraction from their whole as a spiritual being. Males who are revealed to their parents as active in the dating scene face a far less criticism than their female counterparts. Whereas a male may simply be teased or joked with by his parents, a female who is exposed as actively dating will more often be looked down upon as a disappointment and weak of faith. This stigma is largely why Sikh youth in the UK will seek each other out in organized activities. Meeting people of the opposite sex in an environment that promotes civilized courtship is not likely to be frowned upon by elders and parents. Though Sikhs will, when responsibly courting other Sikhs, put their religion before any feelings of love that may surface, it is not unlikely that a Sikh will enjoy a loveless marriage. Often, two people who have established the same life goals on a plane as relevant as spirituality will be able to bask in each other's admiration for the beliefs they share.

Muslim Dating UK

2009-11-11 16:38:00

Meeting a British Muslim Partner

The Muslim culture is rife with longstanding and ancient traditions including Muslim Dating etiquette. Meeting a potential mate and marrying them is no exception! For centuries, Muslim singles� were introduced mainly through family connections. Arranged marriages where the bride and groom did not even meet each other until the day of the marriage ceremony, were quite common.

Muslim Dating in the UK

These days, in a Western country like the United Kingdom, times have changed for young Muslim people, but the ancient ideals remain a constant obstacle. How is one to meet and spend time with a special person they might potentially spend the rest of their lives with if their parents disapprove and even the word "dating" is frowned upon? Muslim Singles in the UK have more options now than ever before, but must still be careful to tread lightly so as not to confuse or upset their older family members. The main fear of these older and more conservative Muslims is that "dating" will not lead to wholesome time spent for their young family member with their future husband or wife, but rather to casual sex and the more disposable relationships that have become more common in the Western hemisphere for young adults. Since extramarital sex is completely off limits for the Muslim faith, Muslims are faced with a quandary if they want to spend some time with someone before taking their marriage vows. Here are some ways to meet a British Muslim partner. [caption id="attachment_177" align="alignleft" width="168" caption="Muslim Symbolism"][/caption]

Organised Muslim Dating Events

AsianSingleSolution.com organise events for Muslim singles to meet each other through networking and speed dating. The events are aimed at those of South Asian descent, eg Pakistan, India, Bangladesh. These events are currently arranged in London and typically attract 30 to 40 professionals. The events are quite informal, and relaxed and yet there is a high standard of etiquette ensuring guests are respected throughout. They present an excellent way to meet a number of people quickly in a convenient and appropriate setting such as a cafe or restaurant where alcohol is typically not served.

Chaperoned Dating

Another way for Muslims to meet and interact with each other is through chaperoned dating. This allows a couple to spend time together in an approved forum without the temptation of attraction and privacy to make them compromise their values. The man and woman would be able to sit together in a semi-private area of the home or meet in a public place and talk and learn more about each other. Chaperones (preferably not their parents) would be nearby to dissuade them from getting intimate. Congregational Outreach More and more Muslim communities are starting to understand the importance of young Muslims getting to know each other before signing on to a lifelong commitment of marriage. Therefore, even churches are getting on board with planning events that have a strong religious connection while also allowing Muslims to interact and mingle with each other. Socials, Koran studies, and community service projects gather young Muslims together in a fun and wholesome environment to reach a common goal, which helps build teamwork for potential mates as well. Although most Muslim women have never even seen the inside of a mosque, that practice is changing slowly but surely and events are being held at the mosque more and more often. It's not easy to keep sacred strong religious values in such a modern and changing world. However, these ideas, coupled with the ever growing Muslim acceptance, will hopefully aid young Muslims in finding Mr. and Mrs. Right.

Great First Date Ideas

2009-11-17 15:03:13 Based on an unrepresentative sample size of one, i.e. us, here are our top ideas for your first date. There are 10 fantastic ideas, ignoring the most obvious "meeting for a drink or dinner". None are very expensive but all are likely to get your date relaxed and they will reveal more about themselves. 1. If you both enjoy art, visit an art museum or attend an art gallery opening. These provide an opportunity for conversation, and art galleries may offer wine and snacks. Even if you don't love art, this can be a fun date, with the event mostly serving as a backdrop for conversation. 2. Go for coffee or ice cream. This is a good date when you don't know someone very well. It's not expensive, it's public, and it can be short if you don't click. You might want a second activity planned in case you do like each other and want to extend the date. 3. Watch the stars. Pick a nice evening, sit out on a blanket in the yard, and watch the stars. An afternoon alternative is to watch the clouds. Throw in a picnic and you have a complete date. Just make sure to watch the forecast carefully and have a backup plan in case of a last-minute weather change. [caption id="attachment_185" align="alignleft" width="93" caption="Share an activity"][/caption] 4. Play board games. You can learn a lot about a person from playing a game together. Do they cheat? Pout or get angry if they lose? Enjoy a fun, healthy competition? Just avoid skill-based games if one person had a distinct advantage, such as if one person plays chess and the other doesn't. 5. Be creative. Whether you're making pottery, a scrapbook, a collage, or even colouring with crayons, this can be a fun way to start a relationship. Just don't pick anything too messy unless you're prepared with a change of clothes. 6. Be active. If you share a common interest, you can go for a jog, go hiking or bicycling, or head to the gym. It's good for your body, and the endorphins generated will give you a positive feeling about each other. The downside is that you may not look or smell your best after getting all sweaty. 7. Feed the birds. Buy a bag of bread, find a park bench near ducks or pigeons, and you'll be set. It can make you feel like a kid again, which is a great experience for a date. Just try to avoid geese, which can be more aggressive. 8. Go to a garden. Whether it's a public rose garden or a private garden that offer tours, this is a beautiful place to take a stroll and have a nice conversation. Just make sure that neither of you suffer from allergies, which could put a damper on the outing. 9. cook dinner together. Choose a romantic menu, cook together, then enjoy a candlelight dinner. Cooking together lets you talk while you're preparing the food. Just don't choose on overly complicated dish unless you are a very skilled cook. You also don't want your attention to be too focused on the recipe, so something easy like a grilled steak or a simple pasta dish might be a good choice. Also, this is only for a first date option if you already know the person. Don't invite a stranger to your home or go alone to a stranger's house. 10. Go nature hunting. Search for seashells on the beach, hunt for wildflowers in the countryside, or just take pictures of your findings. You can enjoy the beauty of nature and a quiet place to talk. Make sure to pack necessary equipment such as water and appropriate shoes. Get your date - Start searching now. CLICK HERE Paul Ergatoudis Director and date coach for AsianSingleSolution.com

Why our parties are special

2009-11-30 17:06:01 We have run hundreds of singles events but it�s a very hard thing to do and it�s a unique skill.� However, sometimes people think it�s easy to run a singles events company.. Just get a venue, round up some guests, charge them to come and you'll be rich in no time. But the reality is it's just not that simple. We see new singles events companies come and go every single week. Their first party might work because they've got all their friends to attend but what happens for the next one? Most of the large online dating sites have tried events at some point. Match.com used to run Matchlive events and even Dating Direct attempted to run their own events. However, even with their large singles databases they just couldn't get them to work. In fact, Dating Direct once bought Chemistry who were known for their large mass market events.� But they soon stopped as they keep up the momentum. This is for the simple reason that it�s a very difficult thing to do and they aren�t all that profitable! If you don't get the right venues, ratios, staff and activities then you are just asking for trouble. Then you've got things like minimum spends and advertising to consider. That's why we are so proud to be in our 8th year of operation. We've worked extremely hard to make sure that we get the formula right and that's why they are so popular. We continue to reinvent ourselves and try new things out.� In 2009 we've had new events such as Casino parties, Wine Tastings, Theatre and Comedy Trips, Manhunts and 2010 will see even more exciting new developments. They aren't always perfect but that's the nature of dating. We can control everything except the people who attend. That's where we need your help. It's only by you telling your friends about us that we can continue to grow and get even better. So please, spread the word and we promise to try even harder! James Preece Dating Expert for AsiansingleSolution.com

Redheads discriminated against

2009-12-22 14:03:28

A newspaper advert for the TV show "Dating in the Dark" has been banned after it suggested that ginger haired people were unattractive.

The advert featured the slogan, "How do you spot a ginger in the dark?"

The show worked by getting singletons to have several dates together in complete darkness so they had no idea what each the other looked like.

This wasn't the first time the series had used risque slogans.� It had previously used the phrase: "When the lights come on I just hope I haven't been kissing Shrek."

The makers of the show, Virgin Media, treid to justify this by saying that the show was just an experiment to find out if people could be influenced by personality rather than by looks alone.

However the Advertising Standards Authority upheld several complaints� that the ad was likely to cause offence and should not be repeated..

"We considered the text was likely to be interpreted ... as a statement that reflected a choice between looks and personality ... being a suggestion that people with ginger hair were unattractive," the ASA said.
James Preece

Dating Coach for Asiansinglesolution.com

How to "break the ice"

2010-01-13 12:12:19 Just because it�s snowing doesn�t mean you can�t keep dating.� There are many things you can do outside that will help make an entertaining and unforgettable date. �Not only with they get your adrenalin going and raise your temperature but they won�t cost you much either. I�ve put together a few ideas for some brilliant dates in the snow. Just remember to warn your date to wrap up warm! Snowman Building:�� Very simple but very entertaining. Bring along a few buttons, carrots and bbq brickettes. By building a snowman together you�ll both bond quickly. Snow Paint:� This is great fun. Mix some food colouring with water and put it in a spray bottle. You can then take turns to squirt it on the snow and create works of art. Sledging:� Not just for kids. You can either buy one for about �10 or make your own from a piece of wood or cardboard. Snow Golf:� You just need a couple of golf balls for this one.� Dig some holes in the snow and take turns trying to get the balls into them. You could even bury some empty tin cans to make the holes even better. Snowball fights aren�t an especially good idea for a first date, but if you already know them they can be quite flirtatious if done playfully. Finally, make sure you�ve researched a warm pub or restaurant you can go on to afterwards to thaw out � ideally somewhere with a roaring fire! James Preece� Dating Coach for http://www.asiansinglesolution.com

Online dating myths

2010-01-20 13:57:02 It's amazing how many people still believe outdated misconceptions about online dating. They use these excuses as reasons not to give it a go and therefore hinder their chances of meeting some lovely people. Here are some common myths that I'm going to bust for you now: 1) Isn't Online Dating just full of losers and weirdos? Over 50% of singles have tried online dating, so you can't class that many as "weird"! Yes, as with any large mix of people there will be a few oddballs, but overall most online daters are busy professionals who just don't have time to meet people in bars and clubs. Anyone that gives online dating a go is obviously a little adventurous . 2) I don't want to put my photo up. What if someone I know sees it? In order to see your photo, they would have to be on the website themselves. Most people don't have an issue putting their photo on social media sites like Facebook, so why would you be worried about a private members site? A profile without a photo is a bit like sending out a CV without any jobs listed on it - pointless! 3) What if I get stuck on a date with someone I can't stand? This is the reason why I suggest you never arrange a drinks or dinner date. Instead, say you are busy and just meet for an hour for coffee. If you don't get on, you can leave. If you hit it off, you can always meet again or "cancel" your other plans! 4) Doesn't everyone lie on their profile? I' m not going to deny that white lies are common - after all the intention is to present the very best possible version of "you" However, bigger fibs are rare as they are instantly obvious once you do meet. There's no point saying you are 6ft2 if you are really 5ft 5 as you won't get away with. Therefore nobody would dare to pretend they are. 5) Online Dating is too expensive! Most online dating sites work out more expensive if you only sign up for one month, but almost all sites can work out much cheaper if you do it over the long term. You really do get what you pay for and you are paying for the security, quality and anonymity they site offers. People are happy to pay for a gym membership or for a theatre ticket, so why not pay a little to boost your love life? So what are you waiting for? James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

James Preece in Scarlet Magazine

2010-01-22 11:25:08 I'm very excited to tell you all that I'm featured as the guest "Agony Uncle" for the current issue of Scarlet Magazine. For this article, I joined resident experts Pam Spurr and Flic Everett to help with reader's dating problems. Scarlet is available from all good newsagents including WHSmith. If you have any dating dilemmas or need any advice then email me and I'll try and help. You can reach me at james@singlesolution.com James Preece - The Dating Coach for www.asiansinglesolution.com

Asian Party was lots of fun

2010-01-26 12:05:15 We've had lots of great feedback about our Hindu & Sikh party that we ran on Saturday 23rd January 2010. This event took place at one of our favourite and most popular venues - The Cuban Bar in Moorgate.� The Cuban is in a great location in the heart of the City of London and is right next to the station so easy to get to. We ran speed dating upstairs in the top bar and the mingling took place downstairs in the main club area.� This started off with our ever popular ice breaking game which got everyone talking right away.� Later in the evening, lots of people paired up and we've heard that many dates were arranged which is also good to know.� Most of the guests have been emailing each other even since so some wonderful connections were made. Here is a feedback from the party:� " Met a wonderful guy - best �20 I've ever spent!" Our next party will be our big Valentine's party at the Abbey in Victoria.� Valentine's is traditionally the biggest and best party that we do as they always attract new people who haven't tried us before. James Preece� - Dating Coach www.asiansinglesolution.com

Feel happier - instantly!

2010-01-26 14:15:30 With this freezing weather, lack of money and , it can be easy to see why this can be the most depressing time of the year! If you aren't in a fantastic mood, this can play havoc with your dating life . Here are my five top tips to feel happier - instantly! 1) Appreciate what you have. If you take a while to reflect, you'll soon realise you have so many wonderful things in your life. This can include things like great friends, family, good health for example. 2) Make a list of what you have to look forward to. This can be big things, such as holidays, parties or even a pay rise . Your can also list small things that will still cheer you up. This can be a coffee break, favourite television show or cooking a nice meal. If there aren't enough things on your list then start planning! By doing this you will be able to start living in the present moment. Many of us worry about what the future holds, so make sure you've prepared as many positive things as possible. 3) Play some music. Uplifting, happy tunes can stimulate the creative areas of your brain, providing an instant mood lift. Just make sure the music is upbeat - nothing sad or too slow! 4) Go for a walk. Your physiology determines your emotions so if you start to energise yourself your blood will flow more and you'll feel much happier very quickly. For double the effect, why not combine this with tip 3 by plugging in your Ipod and strolling through the park? 5) Smile! You might need to fake it at first, but you'll notice that you can't help but feel better when you smile. It's a natural body response. As an added bonus, if you smile at people it makes them feel better about themselves and you'll find many smile back, boosting your happiness even more! James Preece - Confidence Coach www.asiansinglesolution.com

Why can't I find a decent man?

2010-01-28 12:29:02

" Dear James, I�m a divorced 34 year old Asian single mother.� I have a Masters Degree, a job that I love and own two houses.

I have reached a time in my life where I would like to start dating and maybe get married again one day. So far, I have had a hard time meeting mature men my own age. My friends assure me that I'm a great catch - beautiful, great catch, funny, good personality etc.� However, the few guys I�ve dated have called things off for really odd reasons. I had one date that I felt went well. Later that night he sends me a TEXT MESSAGE to say �the conversation was great and you�re a beautiful girl. But, you being a vegetarian is a deal breaker for me.� Other situations didn�t fare much better. I find it very very very hard to believe that being a vegetarian is that much of a turn off to somebody. Where is a good place to meet a mature man in his late 30�s (no bars please!).� Is Online Dating really that safe? Please can you help?� M" Hi M, Many thanks for your question.� It's something I get asked all the time so I'll definitely try to help :)� You need to know that you are not alone and there are huge numbers of women in the same situation. Let's get right to the point.� You are right, it was probably nothing to do with being a vegetarian.� ( Unless he was a butcher?!)�� It's much more likely that these men are getting cold feet simply because you have a child. I know, it's very unfair, but not many younger men are mature enough to handle it. They aren't ready to take on extra responsibility and will want to have kids of their own a bit later in their lives. Some even have a hard time looking after themselves right now!� Not only that but they will be paranoid about your ex-husband popping back on the scene at some point, even if he isn't at the moment. It's not just you who they are dating, but three of you.� They don't want to hurt your feelings and tell you this directly so they make up crazy excuses instead. Oh, and to top this off, there are men who will even be intimidated or insecure that you've got a great job, your own place etc if they're not sorted their own lives out. But don't worry, once men get a bit older and grow up a bit, they can be quite happy to settle down. There are many decent men in their 30s who would jump at the chance to date you, it's just a matter of finding them! So, what do I suggest? Find out if there are any singles events in your area. Most busy cities have them each week and most men are professional and settled.� Theatre trips, casinos and wine tastings can be fun ideas -it's not just about bars.� At the very least you will make some new friends and have a great night out. Online dating is definitely your best way forward.� Firstly, you can state clearly that you are a single mother so you'll only be contacted by men who are happy with that. If you are told you are beautiful then why not use that to your advantage and put up some great pictures to get attention? Remember to be proactive on the dating site too. You can't just wait for people to contact you. Take action and you'll soon have them queing up to date you :) Safety isn't really an issue on the decent dating sites. Just remember not to give out your surname, real email or phone number until you are sure you are interested.� Trust your instincts, meet in a safe busy place you know and always tell a friend where you will be. Finally, another great idea can be to get all your friends to help you. Tell them what you are looking for and ask if they know any great guys. People love challenges like this and you never know you might meet. Good luck! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Should you settle?

2010-02-02 13:01:20 There has been a lot of press recently about how people should "settle" if they want to have any hope of getting married. So should you make do even if you aren't completely convinced? My advice is always to give someone a chance if you feel any sort of connection at all.� The longer you spend with someone then the more you will start to bond and like them.� If there are a few things you are unsure of, put them to the back of your mind and focus on the things you DO find interesting about them. Too many people judge very quickly and dismiss them before they have even got to know them.� You never see the "real" person on a first date as they too busy being nervous about making a good first impression! Remember, that by it's very definition, most people are "average."� So therefore, most people are only going to be "5's"� Therefore there's no point holding out for an 8 or a 9 as they will only be interested in other 8 or 9s. However, everyone likes different things there can be "equalisers" to help you. We all have our own strengths so make sure you play on them. Just because you are normal looking doesn't mean you can't have an outstanding personality.�� Charm, Power, Money, Sense of Humour etc can all be just as attractive.� Even small things like being a great dancer, an amazing cook, good with kids can be help up your odds in the right circumstances. Work with what you have. Of course, if you don't fancy them at all then life is too short to see them again.� Nobody should ever have to settle for second best. Just make sure you are making the most of every encounter and opportunity. Finally,� we always attract people like ourselves . Be happy, content and make sure you love yourself before you bring someone else into your life.� You'll soon find someone wonderful. Good luck! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

What to do after a first date

2010-02-02 14:19:35 Ok, so you went on a first date and are wondering what to do now. When should contact them? What do you say? The trouble with first dates is that you never know what the other person is thinking.� You might think it was amazing but they just weren't feeling it.� In fact, they are probably also wondering what to do next. Firstly, always thank them. It's just polite. You only need to send a quick text when you get home. There are now three possible paths: You aren't sure if you want to see them again. Life isn't easy and you might well have mixed emotions about a date. I'd always sugget a second date if you are undecided but you'll need time to think it over. � Leave it 24 hours to think carefully about it and then go on to one of the next two steps. You want to see them again Excellent!� Let them know you thought it went well and you'd like to see them again.� Assuming they liked you too, they'll be pleased to have their minds put at rest. Make sure you arrange a second date around one week after your first one.� Any later and you'll forget the connection, any sooner and you might burn out too quickly!� It can be hard to find things to say if nothing new has happened in the time you've been apart. You don't want to see them again It's hard line between being hurting someone's feelings and making it clear you don't have a future.�� However, I'd always advise letting them know this quickly so they don't hold out hope of further dates.� It's� best to be honest but if you can't, tell them you thought they were cool but reminded you too much of your brother or sister. Sometimes you just won't hear from them again. They'll disappear and you'll never hear from them again. You'll never quite know why but when this happens be happy that you had a narrow escape and get back on track and start dating new people. Happy Dating, James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

The worst pickup lines....ever

2010-02-02 17:34:31 As dating experts, we've heard every pickup line in the book.� Here are a selection of the very worst! 1)� Can I buy you a drink so I look better? 2) Are you related to Jean-Claude Van Damme? Because Jean-Claude Van Damme you're sexy! 3) I'd marry your cat to get in the family. 4) Can I borrow your library card? I want to check you out. 5) You know, sweetie, my lips won't just kiss themselves.. 6) Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet. 7) Hey, I'm new in town. Can I get directions to your house? 8) I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen. 9) Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date? 10) You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche. Do you know an even worse pickup line?� Email us� at pickup@asiansinglesolution.com and we'll list the best ones here! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Where are the older Indian men?

2010-02-04 10:07:33 We are often asked to run older events, e.g. 30s and 40s. Whilst this is our most popular age group for SingleSolution.com we just dont seem to get many British Asian men over 40. It struck me last night why this is, and it seems obvious. According to wikipedia the flow of Indian immigrants peaked between 1965 and 1972, So by deduction 2nd generation Indians would� have only been born in any significant numbers after 1965. Assuming new entrants to the UK took a few years to settle, this would have meant a gradual increase in the birth rate, that would put the majority of 2nd generation indians in the UK at age 40 or less. For anyone to have been born in the UK to Indian parents and to be over 40, their parents would have had to have been here significantly prior to 1970. There are a few but just not many. It seems reasonable that the majority of British born Indians would have been born to parents arriving around 1970 +/- 5 years, who probably wouldnt have had children for 5 years or more which would make them 35 or under on average. This is only really an issue because men tend to date younger ladies. The solution for Asian ladies in their late 30s and 40s is to look wider than British Born Indians. Please respond with your posts below. Is there any substance to this. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Paul Ergatoudis Director www.asiansinglesolution.com

What's the fuss about Valentine's?

2010-02-08 16:25:22 As the 14th February approaches, many people's thoughts turn to Valentine's Day.�� For some, it's day to enjoy with a partner, but for many singles it can be quite a depressing time!� In fact, some people refer to Valentine's as Singles Awareness Day...aka SAD. But it really doesn't need to be that way.� In fact, it can be the best day of the year if you in the right mindset. Here are some top tips to help you get the most out of it: 1) Instead of feeling frustrated for not having a significant other to spend the day, singles can spend Valentine's Day in a constructive manner by expressing love and affection for people around them.� Be greatful for the people you have in your life, not the ones you don't. 2) Be your own Valentine.� Give yourself a special treat, such as booking a spa session, cooking your favourite meal or buy a new outfit. You need to be able to love yourself before you can ever truly anyone else. 3) Do not define yourself by your relationship status. Your relationship status is not your identity! 4) For ultimate feelgood factor, do something great for somebody else.� You'll feel amazing if you go out of your way to help another person. Perhaps you could have tea with a lonely elderly relative or donate your time to a local charity. 5) Get out there and enjoy yourself.� Valentine's Day if probably THE best day of the year for singles.� You'll have more free cash, more time and less pressure than couples, so make the most of it!� Get your other single friends together and hit the bars where all the other singles will be partying. James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com P.s The Asian Single Solution will be running two big Singles parties (London and Birmingham0� on Saturday 13th February 2010.� Book up now and join over 250 gorgeous guests.

Dumped because of a mobile phone

2010-02-09 17:02:45 Here's an amazing story thats was so funny and strange we wanted to share it with you. Apparently a man called Darren in Winnipeg, Canada, was dumped this week after his girlfriend found saucy texts on his phone. The messages were things like " Booty Call," "Where U at" and "be there soon."�� Not surprisingly, his girlfriend was furious to find them stored on his mobile. But all wasn't as it seemed.� It turned out that the messages were pre-installed generic texts that came with the phone.� He took it back to the shop to complain and demand an explanation. 'At first, we didn't believe him,' said shop assistant Mike Ford, "but when we looked at a couple of the same phones he bought, and found they all had the same messages.' Darren now wants the phones to be recalled and the messages removed, to stop others from having 'to go through the hell I'm going through.' So the lesson to be learnt here is that the first, most obvious conclusion isn't always the right one! James Preece -� The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Valentine's parties - did Cupid find you?

2010-02-15 17:11:34 Once again we had our biggest and best parties of the year for Valentine's day. We had two Hindu & Sikh parties-� the London one at the Abbey and the Birmingham party at the Pitcher and Piano. At The Abbey we had a complete sell out with over 220 guests.� The icebreaker got everyone mingling and the evening was soon in full swing. Later in the evening, we had our new DJ who got the dancefloor jumping and the tunes flowing. We saw quite a few matches at the parties so if Cupid sent you a little arrow we'd love to hear all about it! The year has only just started and we've got many more exciting events lined up and are planning some very special evenings for you. James - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Social Networking Flirting: Is it cheating?

2010-02-16 16:18:44 With the popularity of online social websites such as Facebook, Myspace and Twitter, flirting can take on a whole new dimension.� They offer exciting new opportunities to meet new partners and chat up new love interests. I'm going to write an article soon about how to flirt and meet new people via these avenues, but for now I'm going to talk about online fidelity. Just this week,� married celebrities like Vernon Kay and Ashley Cole have been caught "virtually cheating" online with other women. They've texted sexual images back and forth, thinking it to be safe ground. If you are seeing someone, what are the rules when it comes to using these sites?� Is it ever ok to flirt with complete strangers you'll never meet, or add your exes? Social networking sites can be addictive, especially if you've got something lacking in the real world.� It's easy to get caught up in the fantasy environment and flirt with exes or new people. It feels completely safe and something nobody every need know about. People love an ego boost, so if a hot girl or guy tries to get in touch it can be very tempting to continue.� It connects you to those you otherwise wouldn't meet or renew friendships with people you weren't too concerned about. The thing is, many people still see it as� cheating, even if it�s just emotionally. Instead on focussing on your relationship and making your partner happy, you are giving attention and energy to other people instead. J.M. Kearns, author of �Better Love Next Time says: " "Social Networking sites are a neutral tool that can be used for innocent or guilty purposes. If they are� talking to an ex through the public forums, they may just be keeping in touch.� But if they are only using the site�s private forums, that could be a different story.� If this is becoming an issue then you need to start setting the boundaries." I'd advise that you if you find yourself entering risky territory then take a step back.� If you are in a relationship then it's never ok to take things beyond friendship with anyone else.� How would you feel if you found out your partner was doing it?� If you have to can't stop then you need to work out what's missing from your relationship. Of course, if you are single then flirt away! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Ten things never to say on a first date

2010-02-22 17:47:02 We've put together a list of the ten things you should never talk about on a date; 1) You remind me of my Dad/ Mum 2) My psychic told me we�re going get married 3) Can I borrow some money? 4) I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired 5) I used to come here all the time with my ex 6) I won't drink much tonight because it makes me really really horny 7) Excuse me a minute. My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour 8) It's sad, but I've come to accept that I'm never going to meet someone as clever as me. 9) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being better looking. 10) Are you going to change your Facebook status to "in a relationship" now? If you've heard a worse one, email us at info@asiansinglesolution.com.� There will be a prize for the best ones. While these are all to be taken with a pinch of salt, there is one thing that you genuinely should never ever talk about on a date - your ex.� You'd be amazed how many think this is an acceptable subject to bring up in conversation.� Rather than focus on your past,� spend the time talking about yourself and your date.� Find out what you have in common and use the opportunity to get to know each other.� Your relationship with your ex is over but you have the chance to start something new, so make them feel like they are the important ones now. Happy dating, James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

How to meet people at the gym

2010-02-23 13:23:18 Everyone knows that gyms can be great places to meet other singles.� They can attract, healthy, sociable people who care about how they look and you've already got something in common. But things just aren't that easy!� For starters, most people are plugged into their Ipods which makes conversation almost impossible. However, if you know the secrets then you soon start having much better success rates. Here are some of my top tips to help you : 1)� Keep an eye on people's� jewellery.� Stay clear of wedding rings, but other jewellery like necklaces and big watches can work as� a great icebreaker. Just ask them "doesn't that get in the way?!" 2) Join a class. People don't wear headphones and you'll get to talk and get to know the other class members, both before and after the session. 3) Never ever be sleazy or take things too far.� There's a fine line between catching someone's eye or leering at someone in tight spandex.� If you want to be able to go back, keep things low key and friendly. 4) The best time to approach someone is when they are "between" sets or machines or by the water fountain.� I'd never recommend interrupting someone when they are on a cardio machine.� It's dangerous and if you stop them they'll just get annoyed. 5) Here's a great tip to break through the dreaded Ipod barrier. Lots of gyms have free postcards, so find one and write "Hello!" on the back in big letters. Walk up to someone you like who is wearing earphones, smile at them and hold out the sign. Most people will be amused and intrigued enough to stop what they are doing and chat to you. 6) Watch out for the people who aren't trying to hard. They are there for the attention, not for a serious workout so they'll be more open to talking to you.� They are easy to spot as they'll be walking on the treadmill, lifting extremely light weights or stretching. They are usually also watching out to see who is looking at them too! 7) Smile. Yes,� it seems simple, but many people at the gym don't bother smiling. When you catch their eye, instead of blushing and looking away -� smile.� You might just entice them to come talk to you.� If you look friendly and approachable then other people will want to come and chat with you too. 8 ) Go during weekend evenings. If they are at the gym at that time then there's a pretty good chance they will be single.� Anyone in a relationship would probably be with their partners as this is peak "couple" time! 9) Take time to befriend to the receptionist when you enter and leave the gym.� If you bond with them, they'll often have the inside scoop on who is single, who is dating who and what times the members are usually there. 10) Become a Regular. Exercise increases your libido and you'll look better.� So, the more you go to the gym then the fitter you'll get and the more people you'll get to know.� If people see you are popular this acts as "social proof" and they'll want to get to know you too. Good luck! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Yet another Single Solution Wedding

2010-02-24 11:23:15 We get success stories every single day, but thought we'd share this one with you: "I have tried various methods in the past to meet my future partner, such as speed dating and other matrimonial websites, but unfortunately was not happy with the quality of people and the service provided. I was recommended your site by a friend of mine so I� thought I would give this a chance. I registered myself with single solutions and at the same time booked myself on a "Casino Event". I thought this would be a great way to meet people and expand my social network. I am very pleased that I decided to try this avenue as I met my future partner at this event. We are now engaged and due to get married in August! I definitely encourage others to attend such events as it is a unique way of meeting like minded professionals. The casino event was fun and well organised. There was no more than 30 people at this event which mean't I had a chance to interact with everyone in the room. I sure did get my moneys worth! Thank you once again for your excellent services" We wish them every happiness.�� There's another Casino party fast approaching so do book up for that - perhaps you'll be lucky! James and Paul www.asiansinglesolution.com

The best way to mess up a first date

2010-02-25 13:32:24 I've had a lot of emails about my blog post on the top things never to say on a first date.�� A lot of people have told me about other very strange things people have said to them but there's one thing that crops up scarily often.�� I've heard this so many times that I wanted to share it with you.� If it's happened to you too then let me know! It's what I call the "empty wallet" story... To summarise, it goes like this.� The man invites the lady out on a date - perhaps for some drinks or a meal.� They get on well and at the end of the evening the bill arrives.� The man goes to open his wallet only to be stunned that he's somehow left all his money ( and credit cards!) behind. "Oh dear," he says, " I seem to have come out without any cash.� Would you mind paying now and I'll get it next time?" As if there would even be a next time. I've even heard a version of this where the man has ordered the most expensive items from the menu and the lady has just had salad and� a mineral water.� Another lady did foolishly agree to cough up and arranged another restaurant date only for him to try exactly the same trick again! Men, this is absolutely not cool or funny.� This can't be an accident and nobody goes out without any money.� Your main job on a date is to make the best first impression you possibly can.� If you refuse to pay then it makes you look mean, tight fisted and downright rude.�� On top of this it will make you look incredibly stupid and you'll undo any good work you might have made during the date. So the bottom line is bring enough money to cover the date and act like a gentleman. Of course it's not just men who do this.� Many women expect the men to pay and will "forget" to bring money with them as a test.� Again, this is wrong. While the man should generally always pay on the first date, the woman should at least offer. James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

What NOT to say in your profile

2010-03-02 13:13:44 In today's blog I'm going to be focussing on some of the very worst things you can put in your profile.� These are genuine comments that we see each and every day, over and over.� I'll tell you what they are and explain quickly why writing them can be a VERY bad idea: 1)"Timewasters need not apply"�� You aren't inviting people to view a car, but to meet you.� Don't be bossy, but try and come across as warm and friendly. 2)"I can't believe I'm doing this"�� This shows instant negativity which is a big turn off to most people. You are suggesting that you are embarrassed to be on the site and therefore hinting you are embarrassed to be contacting them. 3) "I'm not going to say what I want, but what I DON'T want!"� Again, instant negativity.� Why not spend the time writing about what you do like, rather than what you don't. 4) "You'll be paying"!�� Are you just after them for their money?� Never write this, even if it's just as a joke. 5) "I give great massages""� Do you really.� We haven't even spoken yet and you are already getting overtly sexual. Bad idea! 6) "I am a funny, clever person with a good sense of humour"� The irony of this is that funny, clever people would never write this in their profile - instead they would write something funny and clever! 7) "Ask me for photo"�� You clearly can't be bothered to put one up so why should anyone be bothered to ask? 8 ) "Hello how are you?"� This is just incredibly dull, especially if it doesn't lead on to something wonderfully interesting.....and they rarely do. 9) "Lol!"�� You aren't a teenager, you are a successful, intelligent adult, so never write things like this. You already know that you should avoid text speak....don't you?! 10) "I'm not a paying member"�� So why are you even on the site?�� Would you sit outside a gym and tell everyone you aren't going to pay but you expect to still get fit? This sort of comment guarantees automatic suspension so never ever write it! If you've seen event worse profiles than these then do comment on this and let us know! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Star signs and dating

2010-03-02 17:32:24 Sometimes we need every little bit of help we can possibly get when it comes to dating.� This can mean seeking advice from every possible source, no matter how weird or wacky it can be.�� For example, there are many people who do believe in star signs. We once had a lady who rang up and asked how many "Librans" we had on the database.� She'd only consider dating them as she'd been told they were compatible with her own. So just as a bit of fun, we've researched which star signs come out best when it comes to dating. Pisces (February 20 � March 21) Empathetic, openhearted and intuitive Aries (March 21 � April 20) Their fiery nature makes them extremely irresistible and exciting. Taurus (April 21 � May 21) Sensual person who craves physical affection and affection. Only the best will do. Gemini (May 22 � June 22) These are the best to talk to Cancer (June 23 � July 23) Deeply emotional and family orientated Leo (July 23 � August 23) Love to be the centre of attention Virgo (August 23 � September 23) They love to help others and put them first Libra (September 23 � October 23) Librans can be the most romantic people Scorpio (October 24 � November 22) Can be emotionally perceptive and intuitive Sagittarius (November 23 � December 21) Impulsive and adventurous Capricorn (December 22 � January 20): The most dependable Aquarius (January 20 � February 19) Aquarians are the most friendly of all the star signs Do these fit in with your dating experiences? James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Guest blog: How to dress to be your most attractive and fabulous self!

2010-03-09 11:22:19 Hi! Let me introduce myself......I�m Louise Gillespie-Smith and I have been a personal stylist for just over 6 years, my company is called Create Yourself. The main thing I love about my job is helping people accept themselves for who they are and to really make the most of themselves through how they dress, plus of course I really love the shopping! I often get asked about what is best to wear when going on first dates so James has invited me to write you all a little something to help you really knock your date�s socks off!! Following are my top 5 tips on how to look your most attractive and most fabulous: 1)�� Take some time to prepare: If you want to be looking your best pamper yourself a bit before the date, make sure you smell nice, enjoy the process of getting ready and get a good night�s sleep beforehand to ensure you are not turning up hung-over and yawning to death. Men make sure you have cleaned your teeth.....I know I don�t need to say this to women as they know the importance of not showing up with bad breath!! 2)�� Be yourself: With studies showing that image and body language is 55% of what matters most in first impressions it is really important to be feeling comfortable in what you are wearing, confident that you look your best and that you are conveying the real you. Until we really know someone we can only judge them by how they come across and a big part of that is through their image. There is no point trying to be something you are not, if they don�t like you for who you really are then they are not worth it anyway! There are all sorts of ways of doing this by using colours, styles, accessories and make up. Have a think about your key personality traits that you would like someone to know about you and then take some time to consider how you can express this through what you wear. 3) Make an effort but don�t go over the top: You need to get the balance between making an effort and feeling comfortable. It�s important to feel comfortable so you are not distracted by hurting feet, pulling skirts or tops down but at the same time you want to look like you have made an effort, heels are always a winner for dates as they lengthen and slim your figure, plus wearing them gives you that extra boost of confidence and sexiness. However don�t go for totally over the top ones that will cripple you in seconds.� If heels just are not you though then don�t wear them, the most important thing as I said above is to be yourself. 4) Wear the right colours: The right colours, especially close to your face can really make you look vibrant, healthy and even younger! The wrong colours can drain you, make you look ill and highlight any redness or lines on the face. The most flattering colours for you share the same characteristics as your own natural colouring so for example if you have dark hair then deep colours will suit you more than very pale ones. Or if you have a golden undertone to your skin then colours with a yellow base will look fantastic where as blue based colours will drain the warmth away from you. 5)�� Enhance your best bits: take some time to consider what your best bits are for example are they your; eyes, your bust, your bum, your legs, your stomach etc? Then think how you can show that off. It�s a waste of time and energy worrying about the bit�s you don�t like (plus it won�t make you feel very good about yourself) instead focus on how to enhance the great bits about you. Please do feel free to email me if you have any specific questions about what to wear or what not to!! louise@createyourself.co.uk http://createyourself.co.uk/

How to make the first approach

2010-03-09 12:27:40 This week's blog is all about something I know a lot of people find hard.� Every day you see lots of interesting people that you'd love to start a conversation with.� You imagine what it might be like to get to know them. Perhaps it might lead to a new friendship or possibly more.� But how exactly do you approach them without coming across as a nutter or getting rejected? There's no big secret to this, it's all about "attitude" ��Approach them with the aim to just have a friendly conversation rather than anything more. � If you put too much pressure on yourself you'll just make it awkward. One of the most important things to remember is to be spontaneous. Don't even think about whether you should talk to them or not - just do it! ��You don't have to fancy them as every approach is just practice for the next one. Above all, have fun. ��If you can get their attention right away when they aren't expecting it they won't have time to be defensive. I suggest you approach people everywhere except clubs and bars ( as they will be on their guard and "expecting" to be approached.) ��The best places are bookstores, supermarkets, public transport and coffee shops. Many many singles� hang out in coffee shops during their lunch hour. Just sit in one for a while and watch who comes in. Finally, when you do approach them, have a question to ask them. �Ask them which coffee is best as there are so many choices, or if they have read a certain book. ��It doesn't really matter WHAT you say, just make sure you smile and put them at ease. �Don't ask questions that rely on simple yes/no replies as you want to get into discussions with them. The more people you approach then the easier it will be next time. Before long it will just come naturally and you'll find they will� even approach you first! There's a fantastic course aimed at men which I do recommend you have a read of, which teaches these skills in more detail: http://tinyurl.com/ya89j5a Good luck! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Will love happen when I stop trying?

2010-03-10 12:50:37 There's a well known saying that you'll find love when you stop trying and don't expect it.�� People say that if you just forget about finding someone then they'll find you anyway. So should you stop looking? My advice is absolutely not!� While I do believe it's true to a certain extent, it's also a fantastic excuse to do refuse responsibility.� If you are a happy, positive frame of mind and ready for love then it will come your way. The big secret is that you do have to give it a helping hand. If you want to get something in life, whether it's love, money, a new job or even a holiday then you need to take action.�� For example, if you'd like a new job then you'd polish up your CV, send it out to prospective employees and attend some interviews.�� You just wouldn't sit back, do nothing and wait for one to find you.� Event if one magically does then you can guarantee it won't be the best one you could possibly dream of. So what should you do?� Well as well as the obvious things like going out on dates, why not try and do more for yourself. � Use your spare time to go out and get a new haircut, hit the gym or buy some new outfits.� Take the chance to sign up to learn some new skills, such as dancing or cooking. They will all help you feel and look amazing, which will therefore make it easier to meet someone wonderful.� If you enjoy your life and enjoy being who are then others will naturally want to share it with you. The bottom line is this: Love will find you in the end but you need to help it along the way by being open and ready for it! Good luck, James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Lots of emails?

2010-03-16 13:12:51 Here's an interesting thing that we've noticed.� Its seems that some people get lots of interest and get lots of emails......only to never reply to them! What we'd really like you to do is at least reply to more of these people, even if its to say "thanks but no thanks." It's just plain old courtesy.� To make this easy for you we even� have standard responses such as "thanks but I'm not looking at the moment"� or "You aren't my type."� It only takes a few seconds and they'll at least know that you have acknowledged there existence. Some people don't reply because they don't want to have to pay for the service which is quite strange. If you aren't serious about meeting someone then why fill out your profile in the first place? If you start making the effort and communicating with people then you'll soon start making new friends and lining up dates.� If you want to learn to swim you have to start by putting your toe in the water after all! We also advise sending a credit with a message to make sure the recipient can read it just in case they are new the site.� Oh and don't worry, if you do send a credit they can only reply to your message, not save it to contact someone else! If you really aren't interested in making contact with anyone or are perhaps currently dating then it might be a better idea to hide your profile. Good luck! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Have you ever fibbed on your profile?

2010-03-17 12:36:28 We often hear the myth about how the online dating world is full of liars, each trying to make themselves sound better than then really are.� However, this certainly isn't the case at all. According to a new survey by Kansas university, researchers have found that most people are honest, especially the confident ones. The study also showed that both men and women were equal in terms of the few who did tell fibs.� Men lied about sexual partners� and women lied about their weight. According to the study,� members� of the online dating site were no more or less likely to lie about themselves than people who find dates the old fashioned way through work, recreation or via friends. If someone is confident and sucessful then they don't need to make things up.� It was only the people who were unhappy about their life choices who steered away from the truth. 5000 internet daters were apparently interviewed for this research.....but that could have been a lie. Eli Finkel,� associate professor of social psychology at Northwestern University , said the study results came as little surprise: "These findings lend empirical validation to my longstanding assumption that the typical person using modern dating approaches doesn't differ much from the typical person using traditional dating approaches," he said. "There was probably a time when people using dating services were different in important ways from the general dating population," added Finkel, "but that seems to be less and less true as modern dating approaches become increasingly popular. Online daters, speed-daters, and the like seem to be just like the rest of us in most ways. That this intuition extends to truth-telling among online daters is important validation of that general point." From our own experience, the biggest lie people seem to tell is about age.� It can seem easy to shave a year or two off in the hope of netting someone more useful.� Just remember that one day you'll have to admit the truth and it could instantly ruin any trust you've built.� It's better to be honest from the outset so you don't need to keep worrying about being found out. James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Success Stories

2010-03-17 17:35:00 Here's a selection of our recent feedbacks.� We'll be regularly updating this blog page so you can see the fantastic success rates our customers have: June 2010 "Hi Paul / James and team I think your site is great, helpful and easy to use. I have found my match after so long and thank you all so much for making this happen!" MN "Honestly speaking, I feel what you guys have done with SS, and achieved with your brand (for what its worth) - is awesome, overall" SM "Thanks a ton for creating a sit exclusively for Asians as I believe that is a good way to meet like minded Asians." AM May 2010 "Great site - recommended to friends" CL "A fine service to humanity !" AM "Great venue, relaxed atmosphere, good guests, helpful staff" MV "The service was brilliant, I got to know alot of nice people who are now mates" MA "I had a really enjoyable time on Sat.� Much more so than anticipated I might add!" RK "The magician was brilliant and you should give him more work!" AD "Thank you for all your support, it was really good being with you.." HM "Very good site and well organised events" BP "Venue was right size for turn out, good facilities. Great music and good bar service." NN "The event was great. The Ice breaker with the cards worked really well and the staff were really friendly and helpful. It exceeded my expectation and was a light relaxed friendly environment. " HS "Excellent. one of the best sites on the web" SR April 2010 "I would just like to let you know that I met my now husband not last October but the one before last at one of your events. We had a wonderful wedding on April 7th. We are eternally grateful to the singlesolution for bringing us� together. Long live the Singlesolution! "I thoroughly enjoyed Saturday's party which was the first I'd attended for some time" MW "Just to let you know I am seeing someone who I met through the website!" HP "Good Services and has helped me to find someone with my busy lifestyle"� SC "Pretty good, as I managed to find my man on the site!" SP "I really enjoyed using this site and found it great to meet some prospective partners. Thanks and keep up the great work."� IM "I think your parties are great, probably the best of all the singles parties - I would recommend them to my single friends - wishing you continued success." SH March 2010 "You guys rock!" BP "Great site.. met a few very decent guys on your site whom I am now friends with. would definitely come back if iI was single again. Thank you!" DN "This is a very good service and I have recommended to many of my single friends" HD "Well organised and very civilised events" PK "I went to your valentine event and all the staff, the organisation, let me say, was brilliant. Thank you again, and will keep you posted!" MM

"I think you are on to a good thing with this whole website.� The turnout was marvellous on Sat despite the transport probs..

I liked the magician he was a nice guy.� All in all a good event."� JV

"I wanted to thank you so much for creating this website. I joined a few years back, attended a couple of events, which were unsuccessful for me. But through the website (which is great) I met my perfect match. I was beginning to think there was no one out there for me but this website proved me wrong. We are due to get married at the end of this year. Thankyou so much. S L and A P" "Great events with professional and friendly hosts"� RH FEB 2010 "I loved the speedate event I went to on Valentines..the first one I went to. Staff were great too. I have met someone and going to see how it goes. Thanks again. You guys have been great." MM "The Valentine's event was well organised and good fun. I spoke to lots of interesting people and the speed dating was much less intimidating than I had expected. The first young lady I met was lovely, and we've been on a few dates since, so watch this space... To anyone thinking of whether or not to bite the bullet, do it: you never know who you might meet!" NM "Good range of events and wide variety of people attending." JG "Well run, probably the best about" JM "I met someone elsewhere but� I think your site is fantastic. Keep up the good work!"

How to make the most of Premium Plus

2010-03-23 13:59:25

In today's blog I'm going to be writing about our Premium Plus Membership to make sure you are taking full advantage of it. There are two options that you get when you decide to upgrade on our site. The first is Premium Membership, which means you can contact anyone you wish, read messages and get huge discounts off most of our events. The second option, for the more results orientated dater is our Premium Plus membership.� This is our best selling membership as it offers the best value and the biggest returns. The trouble with most dating sites that is you never know if the person you are contacting is a paid up member.� If they aren't ( and don't have any credits) then they won't be able to read or reply to your message. Premium Plus gets round this frustrating problem and keeps you totally in control. The other big advantage is that most people are just Premium members, so you'll have an huge advantage on them.� You'll get more replies if you use it properly. However, some it seems that some Premium Plus members aren't remembering to "send a free credit" when first contacting someome.� So, we just wanted to remind you that the option is there when you go to send a message. There's also another bonus feature that you can use too.� If a member has added their mobile phone number to the site then you'll also see a button to send them a text.� This will instantly alert them to the fact that you've contact them. It's completely free to use and well worth using it! Finally, do make sure you follow our basic tips when you send messages.� They are: 1) Have a great photo 2) Have a fantastic profile 3) Write an intriguing, carefully crafted email to each person 4) Keep at it! If you need any help then get in touch. Happy dating, James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Ten of the best dating headlines

2010-03-23 17:39:52 We all know that a good headline will get your better dating results.� We've put together a list of the ten best openers we've heard so you can get an idea of what to write yourself. 1) Is this Ebay?� I'm up for auction - highest bidders only! 2) New girl on the block needs a tour guide 3) Can I ask you for directions? 4) Fabulous people deserve to be together, don't you think? 5) Towns yet to be visited, friends in need yet to be discovered, battles yet to be fought... 6) I knew you wouldn't be able to resist! 7) 94.5% of all statistics are fabricated 8)� This is really just shopping for guys - two of my favourite things combined! 9) Experimental cook needs food taster 10) Where�s �Clever Opening Lines for Dummies� When You Need It? Do leave a comment with the best opening line you've seen as we are collecting the best ones. James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

The 5 top women that men avoid

2010-03-29 16:34:23

If you've been wondering why you aren't doing well at the dating game, could it be that you are one of these 5 types of women that men avoid?

1) The Gold Digger

She's just out for your money and you both know it. She needs a man to pay for everything and take her to nice places, just so it boosts her ego and makes her feel good. She never gives, but instead with her it's just take take take me shopping.

Typical profiles include the words " You'll be paying"

2) �Little Miss Stalker

Watch out for the lady who needs constant reassurance that everything is ok. � She'll get upset if you don't call and text her at least 20 times a day. �If she�doesn't�know exactly what you are up to every second of the day she will do her best to find out anyway. �She'll turn up at your work and try and hack in to your email. Woe betide any other lady who even breathes near him.

If this is you, take a step back and give him space! �If you've got concerns that take some time to talk about it.

3) The flake

She'd love to meet up this week but something's just come up. How about next week?� Oh so sorry, my cat's ill, can we do it the one after that?

Men do find "ditsy" a little bit endearing but it can soon become very rude and annoying.

If you want to make him feel special you need to make time and don't let him down.

4) The party girl

Sure, we can hang out, but can I invite some of my friends?

Even if you do get her on her own, she'll want to get drunk as soon as possible. �You won't �be able to tie her down to meet you as she'll always be off at some party of another.

Fun for a while, but there's no long term possibilities as you'll soon get bored of each other.

5) The Princess

This lady is so caught up in her own little fantasy world that she finds �it hard to cope reality. She's been so spoilt�and brainwashed by her parents that�she thinks that Mr Right is magically going to appear and whisk her away to a Disney castle.� When you do go out with her she'll expect you to do everything and will only be disappointed that you don't live up to her unrealistic expectations.

Don't worry, ladies, I'll be writing a new blog about the men YOU should avoid too!

James Preece - The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Ten biggest turn offs in dating

2010-03-30 12:33:17 I'm the UK's top Dating Guru,� and people always tell me their biggest dating turn offs.� These can be tiny things, but some come up over and over again.� It's time for you to read and learn in case you are making the same mistakes! 1) Bad Body Odour andpersonal hygiene. This usually tops most people's list of turn offs. It goes without saying that you should take a shower, shave� and smell nice if you want to attract other people. 2) Smoking. This is not just extremely anti-social but it gives you terrible breath and shows you don't take your health seriously.� Funnily enough, it seems that even smokers don't want to date other smokers! 3) Avoiding direct eye contact. Always remember that eye contact is crucial so don't stare at the floor. If you look nervous then it just gives the impression that you have something to hide. 4) Assuming the world revolves around you. You really don't need to talk endlessly about yourself or stare at the mirror the whole time. Focus on the person you are dating and make them feel like the centre of your universe. 5) Being Negative.� There's really nothing worse than being a "victim" and talking about all your problems on a date. It's just not attractive! Instead, try and see the positive side of everything and remember to laugh and smile often. 6) Being a cheapskate. We say this time and time again but men should always pay the bill on the first date but the woman should at least offer. If you are stingy with money then you are probably stingy with your time and affection too. 7) Not having a photo on your online dating profile. This is major error that many people seem to make. If you don't have a photo or demand to see one before sending out yours, then it shows insecurity and the strong possibility that you have something to hide. Even worse are photos with sunglasses or hats. Why would you wear the hat if you had a lovely head of hair? 8) Being too sexual or too keen.� There's nothing wrong with showing that you are serious about dating but don't take things to far or too fast.� You don't need to jump into bed right away or make plans for the next five weekends on your first date.� Take a little time to get to know each other slowly. Give yourselves time to miss each other. 9) Not making it clear when you aren't interested. Some people think they are being kind by not directly rejecting someone. Instead they just ignore calls, emails and texts and cut off all contact. The trouble with this is that nobody gets any closure and it just stretches it out. If you have to, be polite and honest rather than give them hope. It's kinder in the long run! 10) Trying to change them. It can sometimes be easy to overlook the flaws in a relationship. Instead, you think that you will be able to sort them out and get them to work on the things you don't like. Wrong! Focus on the things you do like about them. Everyone has flaws and they just make is human. If you were both perfect life could be very boring indeed. I'd love to hear about your own dating turn offs. Add a comment on this blog or email me at james@asiansinglesolution.com James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Why have my messages vanished?

2010-04-07 10:54:32 I often get messages asking where emails have disappeared to on the site. Well, in order to keep things running smoothly, messages are automatically deleted after 60 days. However, if the other person deletes the message, or deletes their profile, the the message will also disappear from your inbox/sent. It's worth noting that messages in bold haven't been read yet. This is usually because they've not yet logged in or aren't able to read messages as they don't have credits or a membership. If you are keen to hear from them, it's always worth sending another message "reply paid" as that might encourage them to write back! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansingesolution.com

Dating Problem: What should I do?

2010-04-07 12:53:26 ******************************************************************************************************************* Hi James I hope you are well? - I am looking for some advice I am 37, divorced, and have a 5 year old son. I had an arranged/ introduced marriage. The conclusion of this, was that I married the wrong girl, but the great thing was my son. I am separated for over 2 years, and am legally divorced, and awaiting for the financial separation to be concluded. I hope you can appreciate that it has taken me about 12 months, to even walk outside of the house, and immmersed myself in work. I have regained alot of confidence, lost weight, and havn't felt physically this good in years. Here I am now, that I believe that I am not old, I still have the opportunity to find the "right" woman. This is the first time in my life I am being selfish, in the divorce, and getting my life back, I love my son very much. He is apart of me, and am never going to let him go. I am really struggling to find / meet women that are willing to accept that I have a son. I have worked it out it is my relationship with with ex wife that is the problem, not my son. Indian girls are not willing to accept this, as in our community I am a social outcast. I am very confident, sucessfull man. I have figured out what I want, and even to an extent what women want. I am mature, sophisticated, intelligent. Nothing would make me happier than to meet my equal in life, and someone in that we can make each other happy. Though, I have been on few first dates, and I can talk to women, approach them, but basically nothing. I go to many social events, I find them better than the internet method So what do I do? - it is very difficult to handle, and am thinking of taking myself out of this, and giving up, but the desire not to give up (I am very determined and driven person), is keeping me going, but the knock backs are begining to hurt. I am really not sure what to do. I know my life is going to be tough, but I really want to meet someone! *************************************************************************************************** Many thanks for your email � I�m only too happy to help. Firstly, well done for taking steps to get your life back on track. It can be so hard to regain focus after such a bad experience. The positive thing is that you�ve got a son who you are clearly so proud of. Let me reassure that not all women will be put off by the fact you are divorced and have a child. Attitudes are changing. A few years ago as site like ours was considered �taboo� but now it�s the market leader for professional Asians and more and more people are joining that ever before. Stop thinking of yourself as an outcast and realise that it actually works in your favour. It shows that you are capable of reproducing which subconsciously makes you more attractive to women who want kids of their own! Many studies have shown that �fathers� are considered more loving, compassionate and intelligent that men without children. The important thing to do is to mention your son in your profile. Yes, there are women who will stop reading at that point but most will want to keep reading. If you make it very clear from the outset ( rather than a secret you have to announce later) you�ll only be talking to women who you can have a long term relationship with. I�ve had a good look at your profile and you seem to be getting lots of interest which is fantastic. I know one or two of the women you are going to be meeting and they are lovely. Oh, and you really ought to write more about yourself in your profile. Your emails are great that you send out but do run them through a spell checker as women can be quick to judge on that ;) You say that you enjoy the events so keep going with that. We have events all the time and you�ll soon make new friends. Treat it as a social night without any expectations and you never know who you might meet! Also, accept any invitations that you get and make sure you are putting yourself �out there� as much as you can. Finally, please don�t give up! You�ve only been using the site for a few months. Your adventure has only just started to enjoy every moment of being single that you can. After all, when you meet someone again you don�t want to have missed out on all the fun of dating! If you�d like any more help then do contact me directly via my website: www.jamespreece.com I coach people one to one to get the dating results they really want. Good luck! James *************************************************************************************************** Do you have a dating problem you'd like me to answer? Get in touch now. James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Interesting Dating Statistics

2010-04-13 11:15:02 Here are some very interesting dating facts you might enjoy. Did you know: 1) In the Uk, over 15 million people are estimated to be single. 2) Just over half of them are actively looking for a long term relationship. 3) 75% of these people have not had a relationship for over 18 months. 4) The average number of dates each of them will have in one year is just four. 5) Amazingly, 1 in 4 people don't brush their teeth before going out on a date. 6) Just over 43% of people Google their date before they meet up with them for the first time. 7) The place with the highest percentage of single people in the UK is Lambeth in South London. 8 ) Over 4.9 million people in the UK have visited a dating website in the past year. 9) One in three admits to lying on their online dating profile. 10) One in five married couples aged between 19 and 25 met online. 11) British men are the least confident in Europe. 12) 88% of women don't mind a bald man. 13) 3% of people who want a serious relationship will send a text immediately after a first date. 14) One in five people end up marrying someone they work with. 15) However, over half of all workplace relationships are over within six months. 16) Men spend up to ten times as much buying drinks and meals for potential partners than women. However women match the cash spent dating, as a result of the amount they invest in preparation before a date. 17) The most popular day of the week for a first date is a Saturday. 18) According to one reports, people spend an average of �38 a year on lucky pants! 19) A whopping 8 Billion Pounds is spent on Dating in Britain every year. 20) A date in London will cost twice the amount of anywhere else in the UK. James Preece - The Dating Guru www.singlesolution.com

Spring Party Review

2010-04-20 10:22:31 We had our big Hindu & Sikh party last Saturday and we are pleased to say it was a huge success. The event took place at one of our most popular venues - The Abbey in Victoria - and sold out with over 210 guests. We had optional speed dating, ice breaking activities and the return of DJ Titch later in the evening which got everyone dancing. We've had some great feedback about the party so here are some of the comments: "Brill ideas fantastic venue why did i not find you guys earlier!!!" "Too many pretty ladies to pick from!" "You guys really do organise the best parties in London!" "Staff: very friendly and helpful!" Our next one is on Sat 8th May and we've just confirmed the return of DJ Titch for this. Remember to book up early as we hate to turn people away, but these really do get full quickly! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Why you should always be proactive

2010-04-20 15:06:06 We recently ran a survey on the Asian Single Solution website which asked the question: "Do you message people first or wait for them to contact you?" The results surprised us: I contact them first -� 55% I wait for them to email me� -� 45% We've noticed that there that a few very proactive users on the website who contact a lot of people at once. These members then think its great that they are getting messages, but don't realise that these people are probably also in discussions with 20 - 30 others too! So what usually happens is that they send a few messages back and forth but it never actually goes anywhere.� This can be confusing. The problem is that because they are getting messages they forget to target the people they want.� They think that all they have to do is sit back and wait for people to contact them rather then doing anything themselves. Just relying on these very proactive members� is not a good strategy! Instead, always keep in mind that even the very best profiles with the best photos have to keep working at it. There are so many singles on the database that it's only the ones who make a real effort that will get the results they deserve.� After all, if you wanted anything else in life - such as a job , a car or a holiday - you would do something to make it happen wouldn't you?� So why should your love life be any different? So do make sure you always make the first move and contact as many people you like. James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Asian Woman Magazine Partnership

2010-04-27 11:09:11 We are delighted to announce that Asiansinglesolution.com is now working in association with Asian Woman Magazine. As part of this new partnership we will be sponsoring the AsianWoman Bachelor Hunt 2010 Asian Woman Magazine boasts a readership of over 100,000 per issue, making it the biggest Asian publication in the world. The Asian Woman Bachelor of the Year is the annual spectacular of the year. Selected from their� infamous Top 50 Bachelors and voted by you as well as an industry panel, the lucky Bachelor will be featured in AW Magazine and win some fantastic prizes. If you'd like to nominate someone ( or even yourself) then click here to register: http://www.asianwomanmag.com/Bachelors_2010_AsianWoman.php

One minute dating tip

2010-04-29 13:17:22 Here's a quick little secret if you want to accelerate intimacy with a stranger. When you are talking, use the word "We" every now and again. For example, you could say something along the lines of "What lovely weather we are having right now," or "We ought to move away from that draft," By doing this you'll confuse their subconscious mind and they will automatically place you in their future. They instantly build rapport and create a sense of "togetherness" Two other sneaky words you can also use are "us" and "our." If you meet at a party you could say "They've put a on a good event for us tonight." Don't overdo this or you'll be rumbled, so use this tip sparingly and they won't know what hit them! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

New Web Server

2010-04-29 17:43:04 On 29th April 2010, our website received a major hardware update as we moved the website onto a new server. This unfortunately required a few hours of down time. �If you tried to use the site during this time, we apologise for any inconvenience. Hopefully you will see some improvement in the speed of the website. This will also enable us to add new features such as the live chat which will be launched shortly. Do let us know if you experience any issues with the site, or if you have any other feedback. Regards Paul Ergatoudis Director

How to use the telephone

2010-05-06 12:47:05 Some people can get nervous when it comes to talking to a potential date on the telephone.� Instead, they'd rather just text or email until the first date.� However, it's really nothing to be scared of and the telephone can be used to your advantage if you know how! 1) The telephone forces you to lose one of your most power senses - eye contact.� The other person can't see you nodding your approval or shaking your head so you need to make up for this.� Instead say things like "I hear you" and "I agree" and they'll know you are both in sync. 2) Keep the first conversation short.� I always suggest you limit your first chat to ten minutes.�� Use it to mainly just to establish a first date.� If you spend two hours chatting away before you've even met, what will you talk about when you finally do? 3) Treat the call as if you are auditioning.�� Imagine they are sat opposite you and overact!�� Even though they can't see you, if you gesture when you speak it will make you sound more engaging. � I find that standing up helps you sound your best as it's easier to breathe. 4) Most importantly - smile!�� Try saying this line out loud now� "I'm having a wonderful day."�� Say it three times, once with no expression, once with a big grin and once with frown.� Do you see how smiling can lift your mood and makes you sound so much friendlier? 5) Work the answerphone.� This tip is valid for when you leave a message as well as your own voicemail recording. �� The last thing you want is for somebody to be turned off just because of your ten second message.� Keep it simple, warm and friendly. No gimmicks, no sound effect and no jokes.�� Smile when you record it and keep it short and sincere. James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

The Single Solution Party

2010-05-06 16:33:28 While the UK is gripped with Election Fever, we thought it might be fun to think what we'd do if we ran the country. Here, for your entertainment, is the Single Solution Party Manifesto: "A country is at its best when the bonds between people are strong and when we love each other. Today the challenges facing Singles in Britain are immense. Our society is overwhelmed by nauseating lovey dovey couples, single supplements and nagging parents. But these problems can be overcome if we pull together and work together. If we remember that we are all in this together. Some politicians say: �give us your vote and we will sort out all your problems�. We say:� We can help you get more dates. More dates means more fun and more adventure. Yes, this is ambitious. Yes,� it is optimistic. But in the end everything is just politicians� words without you and your involvement. How will we expect to find love unless we understand that we are all in this together? How will� you get more matches unless every single adult spreads the word about our website ? How will we revitalise the dating world unless people stop asking "When will Mr or Miss Right come to me" and start asking �What can I do to find them?� Britain will change for the better when we all elect to take part, to take responsibility for our own dating lives � if we all come together. Collective strength will overpower our problems. Only together can we can we have bigger, better singles parties. Only together can we grow the Single Solution Database.� Only Together can we teach people the secrets of what men and women really ought to know about each other. Together we can make dating work . And if we can do that, we can do anything. Yes, together we can do anything. We promise to bring down the costs of Dating by giving every Single professional �1000 tax breaks.� We promise to end Single Supplements on holidays.� We promise to keep thinking up new ideas for our Singles Parties and to constantly innovate our Online Dating Site.� We promise to help you find a partner..... So our invitation today is this: join us, to form a new kind of government for Britain. Join us - the Single Solution Party. "

Your most popular questions

2010-05-11 15:43:44 We tend to get the same questions every day so here are some of our answers to the most popular ones. 1) Why isn't anyone sending me messages? We get asked this question a LOT.�� You need to contact people, not the other way around! Not proactively sending 5 to 10 new messages per week is like joining a gym and not going - Even members who get lots of emails still need to be proactive to target the people they want, rather than the members who tend to send out lots of messages. We have loads of new members joining each month, so you should easily find 10 to 20 people you like, to message/wink/add to favourites each month. Oh and have some great photos and log in regularly too to boost your chances. 2) I dont look my age. Can I come to the younger parties? We must get asked this question every day. It's funny how everyone tells us how "people think they are ten years younger." What they are forgetting is that this isn't the point. It's irrelevant how you look - our members are paying to meet people in the correct age categories. We have to have age limits in place for the good of everyone. Guests need to be within a certain age range to make sure they only meet suitable people. Having said that, we can sometimes be a little flexible on age limits. If the average age of the guests if higher than average then we might be able to let a few people in. 3) Why can't I pay for one message at a time? No, for many reasons! This is a bit like going into a supermarket and asking to buy an egg. It costs a lot of money to develop and run the site and as such we have to charge for it. If we allowed people to buy just one credit or reply to one message then it would simply have to cost about the same as a one month membership. The second reason is that we absolutely want you to have dating success. This means you needs to take control and message a lot of people. The more effort you put into it then the more results you will have. 4) Can you tell me why women's tickets are more expensive that the male ones? Generally speaking they aren't � the prices are the same. It�s just that the earlier you book then the cheaper the tickets. As women buy earlier than men then tickets go up in price quicker so it just appears. However, for some events it�s supply and demand and we have to take action to ensure even ratios. It's always worth remembering that we always charge more for last minute tickets if they are available so booking early is always the best police. 5)� Do you get many successes? Absolutely We get many success stories each day.� We find that people who are the right calibre and proactive will soon meet someone. Always remember to keep positive, realistic and make sure you are the best "you" possible. James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

How to Work a Room

2010-05-13 15:53:11 Any party or event is an amazing opportunity to meet new people but I know it can often seem a bit scary. Some people find it really hard to do this so I'm going to give you some great tips to help. Guests worry they will left on their own or even worse, they will get stuck chatting with the same group of people all night. This doesn't have to be the case at all. Keep in mind that people who attend these events are generally open to talking to you. If they hated the idea of making new contacts they'd just stay at home wouldn't they? It's not like going up to a random person in a bar - you already have something common.This can be a mutual friend, hobby or just the very fact you all quite fancied the idea of coming along. The very first thing you should do, once you�ve made your entrance and got yourself settled, is do a quick scan of the moment.� See who you might be interested in and who is already talking to who.�� It will also help to make note of where the bar and toilets are so you make a hasty exit if it become necessary. When you�ve got a drink, carry it in your left hand which will keep your right hand free for the initial handshake.� There�s nothing worse that offering a freezing hand or having to juggle your drinks. Then all you have to do is go up to someone and say "Hello, I'm ---------.� Is this your first time?"�� The ice is quickly broken and you'll have something to chat about.�� Stay away from asking closed questions that only require a one or two word answer and don't outstay your welcome. Finally, try and speak to as many people as possible. Even if you aren�t attracted to them it�s always useful to introduce yourself.� You never know how they might be able to help you and it�s better to talk to �anyone� rather than look lost.�� You�ll also be able to sneak yourself into any conversations they are having later! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

New Live Chat Feature

2010-05-15 21:20:37 update - as of 18th May we have temporarily removed the chat feature as it is slowing the site down. Please bear with us. ______________________________________ After many requests our live chat feature went live on Friday. This is a beta version, which means that it's still under development - its almost impossible for us to test until its under full use. If you get the chance to use it, please send your feedback to us. email chat@asiansinglesolution.com To use the chat you must be� Premium member and you can chat with any other Premium member. If you are a Premium Plus member, you can invite anyone, including basic members to chat. You can see who is online, from the profile view once logged in. You can have up to two sessions running concurrently. This chat is a new feature under development. So I must say that� it doesn't yet form any part of your agreement with us at the moment. Let us know how you get on. Regards Paul Ergatoudis Director

Hey Mr DJ - a quick survey

2010-05-17 16:11:28 We know that we can't please everyone, but we definitely take on board everything our guests say. So we'd like to hear your thoughts about DJs and our big Saturday parties. We hear two common things at the events: a) Why isn't there a DJ?� I want to dance! OR b) The DJ is too loud, I want to talk to people! So what do you think we should do?�� Is dancing or talking the most important thing to you? Please take� a second to let us know.� If you have any further comments or suggestions please email us directly at info@asiansinglesolution.com James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Questions View Results

Where to meet new People

2010-05-18 12:09:21 How many people do you meet each day?� One ?� Ten ?�� The reality is that you could be missing out on meeting hundreds! Whenever you go out you have the opportunity to talk to other singles - whether it's on your way to work, your lunch break or just waling down the street. Here are some opportunities you might be missing with some tips to maximise them: 1) Bookstore.�� You might have to cheat a little here, but it's worth it.� The easy way to approach someone you want to talk to is to take note of what they are reading.� Find a similar book, stand near them and ask if they've read it.�� Tell them you are new to whatever subject it is and would like to learn about.�� It doesn't matter what - cooking, goldfish or synchronised swimming.� It's the very fact you appear to have a mutual interest that will help you both bond. 2) Shop.�� This is my personal favourite.� Go into any shop with the idea that you have to buy a present for someone of the opposite sex - perhaps your mother, neighbour or favorite Uncle.� Walk up to someone that catches their eye and their opinion.� People LOVE to be asked what they think ! 3) Park. Where do single people hang out at lunchtime when they don't have anywhere else to go?� That's right, the park!� Take a packed lunch and enjoy the sunshine. If noting more, it's a great chance to people watch. 4) Bus Stop or Train Station.�� Nobody likes waiting for public transport and it can be incredibly dull.� All you have to do is walk up to someone you fancy and ask if they've been waiting long - instant conversation starter! 5) Attend a Seminar or a Talk.� Many people go to these on their own and there are plenty of chances to chat before, during and afterwards.� You can find information about these in Metro or your local free newspaper. Good luck! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Kissing before a first date?

2010-05-18 15:57:39 I got asked an interesting question today that I'm going to discuss here with you. When you first meet someone, is it OK to kiss them on the cheek or should you just shake their hand? My advice would be to keep in mind it's a date - so a quick peck on the cheek is perfectly acceptable. Start with a big smile and keep it to the one cheek. Needless to say, you should stay away from air kissing and going anywhere near the mouth. � � Definitely avoid the double "continental" kiss. Yes, they might back off but if you start with a handshake you are more likely to finish with one at the end of your date.� Be brave and take a small risk and it might just pay off. After all, most people will appreciate it if you take the initiative.� Handshakes are for friends and business meetings. I'd be interested to hear what you think is the best way to start a date? James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Questions View Results

A Tall Order

2010-05-27 16:17:50 I'm purposely making this blog a little controversial - in the hope that some of you will add your own thoughts! So today's blog is all about a common subject of discussion....height. Why do so many women complain that there aren't enough tall men?� Do shorter men suffer when it comes to getting dates? There does seem to be a link between social deprivation and height. Studies have shown that men over 5ft 10 are more likely to get married and have children. Interestingly, research has proven that the opposite is true with women.� Women of below average height ( under 5ft 2) are more likely to have a husband and kids. This might be because taller women often reach puberty later than shorter ones and are deemed as less fertile, although science doesn't back this up. We've found that many of our female members on our online dating site are looking for a man at least 4 inches taller than themselves. The theory is that short women look for taller men as they want to make sure their children are born with average height. The good news is that once you meet face to face then height usually stops being an issue.� Common sense comes into play and other factors such as looks, personality and sense of humour will always in over. So my advice is for women to be more realistic and you'll end up with more dates.� If you are only short yourself then don't set your expectations too "high." Likewise, if you are a tall lady then it's daft to make yourself even more so wearing high heels as you'll just make things harder for yourself. Finally, if you are a shorter man then make the most of everything else you have going for you! Well, that's my opinion - what's yours? James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

The Compliment Currency

2010-06-01 11:21:09 Compliments are a strong currency when it comes to flirting and getting to know someone. But it's so easy to get it wrong! You know what it's like to get a compliment.� You might be flattered but you will often be suspicious too.� Perhaps you�ll think they are being insincere or trying to get round you in some way.� The same goes for when you give one yourself. So here is a simple tip to help you get round this problem: Do it via a friend! Yes, it�s that easy.� Tell a mutual friend how wonderful you think the person you are interested in is.�� Don�t go over the top and don�t make them aware of what you are up to. Instead, just throw the compliment into the conversation.� Make sure it�s nothing too sexual or personal either. You could say something along the lines of �He�s really entertaining or I loved her necklace.� You can bet anything that your mutual friend will have passed the message on within 24 hours. By delivering compliment through a third party the impact doubles and they�ll instantly become more believable. �A compliment that someone overhears is must more powerful that one that they actually hear. You can also use this tip to get some of the glory from someone else�s compliment too.�� If you hear someone saying good things about a friend, then tell them all about it.�� When they feel good from hearing this, they�ll tie you in to the �feel good� emotion that it triggers. Just remember to only keep it to compliments.� You don�t want to associate yourself with any negative comments to idle gossip. Happy Dating! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Avoiding the Green Eyed Monster

2010-06-02 12:35:22 In today's blog I'm going to be looking at the subject of jealousy in relationships and how you can avoid it. Jealousy can be a funny thing.� It can creep up when you least expect it and small worries can quickly become big problems if not dealt with. The theory is that jealousy is an evolutionary process that protects us when there is a threat to reproducing. Women tend to feel threatened by younger, more attractive rivals. Men are more wary of others who earn more money than them.� However, it' s just people that you can be jealous of but rather anything that distances you from your partner.� This could be work, hobbies, friends of family.� The threat can be real but is quite often imagined. Too much jealousy can destroy happy relationships, especially if you are constantly questioning each other.� It's uncertain relationships that have the biggest issues.� If you aren't clear about the direction you are heading in or if you are both being faithful then it's only natural to want to question things. My advice is to talk about any issues as soon as they come up. Ask yourself what you are really worried about and never forget that you wouldn't be together if one of you didn't want to be.� It might also help to talk to friends too as they'll be able to offer you a different perspective on things.�� Above all, keep calm and don't interrogate or you'll find yourself pushing them away rather than bringing you together. Studies have shown that a little bit of jealousy can actually be good for a relationship.� It can make you work harder, keep you both on your toes and spice things up. After all, isn't it good to know that someone wants want you have? Happy dating! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Do you find it hard to make time?

2010-06-02 15:47:40 Struggling to find time for dating ? You aren't alone. People often tell me that they find it hard to make time for online� dating in their busy lives.� They work all day and are too tired in the evenings to do anything proactive. I agree that online dating can often be time consuming.� It takes a while to search for people you like the look of, compose witty messages and keep the banter going. But really it doesn't have to be.�� The object of the game is to get their attention quickly and then arrange a meeting while the interest is there.� You don't have to write long essays back and forth for weeks.� The first message only needs to be a few lines long - just enough to get them intrigued. After a couple of replies, speak on the phone for ten minutes and then arrange your first date.� Endless messages only build up unrealistic expectations and prevent you from ever meeting up. Here's a quick tip which will help you find time for dating....turn off your television!� It's the biggest time waster there is and it' s main function is a "partner replacement."�� Most people spend all their time either� staring at it or looking forward to seeing it again. Believe it or not, studies have shown that watching too much television can actually triple your urge for material things.� Just think how many adverts you watch, consciously and unconsciously. On top of this, every hour you watch a day makes you 5% unhappier! You only need to spend about 20 minutes a day to make online dating work.�� If you knew it would guarantee some fantastic dates, would you be able to find time to do it then?�� Picture the end result before you start and you'll soon be able to fit it into your busy lifestyle. Happy dating! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Why you Shouldn't Try to Win Arguments

2010-06-04 11:06:51 There comes a time in the happiest of relationships when you won't see eye to eye. This is quite normal behaviour.� After all, if you agreed on everything life would be very dull. However, disagreements can quickly become arguments which can escalate to major rows.� It's important you learn to keep things on the first level so you don't allow them to escalate. A common destroyer of relationships is seeing it as a competition rather than a joint effort. When people see themselves as opponents rather than partners, they often try to use unfair tactics such as using insults or perhaps shutting down completely.� Alternatively, they might do the opposite and fight fairly and try to outsmart the other person using logic and being overly nice.� � But ultimately these are both two sides of the same kind� Both strategies� are employed as a way to �win� the argument.�� They are trying to be the �good� partner and prove that the other person is in the wrong, not them. If this sounds like you then you need t0 learn to stop doing� it. The best way to end an argument is to apologise, even if you know deep down that you are right. This will nip it in the bud before things get worse. Happy Dating! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Competition: Win Perfect Fashion Show VIP tickets!

2010-06-07 13:35:48 We have an amazing competition for you that we are only running for the next few days. The Asian Single Solution is sponsoring the Perfect Asian Fashion Show on Sat 19th June. We'll be hosting a table at the event and have two pairs of PLATINUM VIP tickets worth �250 up for grabs. The event will take place the Millennium Mayfair Hotel and will include a reception with canapes, a three course meal, fashion show and live entertainment from Navin Kundra and Angrej Ali. To win your place you need to send us something for our blog.� This can be one of the following: 1) Your best dating tip 2) A short funny date story 3) A dating question for us to answer Email them directly to : blog@asiansinglesolution.com The best blogs will be featured and the top two will win a pair of tickets. Closing Date: Competition ends midday Friday 11th June, so write now! For more details and standard tickets at �75 or �65 for Premium members, click here James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Competition Blog Entry - Is Silence good or bad?

2010-06-09 13:45:15 Here is a "dating question" for our new "blog competition" Dear Dating Guru, When Dating, are Silent moments good or bad? N ******************************************************************************************************* Dear N, Dating is all about getting to know each other, building a connection, then attraction and beyond.�� The majority of this is done through talking to one another � asking and answering questions. If you are both sat there without saying anything then it can quickly become awkward.�� This can stop the date from flowing and you'll be unlikely to have a second. For this reason, you have to have a wide range of �conversation starters� under your belt to keep up the momentum.� These don�t have to be too complicated, just discussions about family, holidays, ambitions, beliefs, funny anecdotes etc.�� It's easy to find topics to talk about - just pick up a paper and read the headlines if you get stuck. However, silence isn�t always a bad thing.�� There are times when you will need to sit back and enjoy each other�s company without saying a word.� This is a fantastic opportunity to process the date so far and really think about everything that�s been said.�� It�s also a great chance for non-verbal communication.� You can look deep into their eyes or play with your hair in a flirty, fun manner. The bottom line is :�� Make sure you have plenty to talk about but you don�t need to fill in every silence just for the sake of it! James Preece - The Dating Guru If you have want to win a pair of tickets to our upcoming "Perfect Fashion Show" then read our blog to find out more. http://www.asiansinglesolution.com/blog/asian-dating-news/competition-win-perfect-fashion-show-vip-tickets/

Competition Blog Entry : One member's dating story!

2010-06-10 11:25:42 Here's a"guest" blog from "R" - for our wonderful "Perfect Fashion Show" Competition. If I had a pound for every time someone asked me why I was still single, I would be cruising around the Med in a luxury yacht with my harem of male Dolce and Gabbana models, most probably not giving a damn about my single status. I agree on paper, it doesn�t quite add up.� I�m an attractive, professional, financially secure woman living in a large metropolis with an abundance of available and desirable men.� Or so you�d think.� But here I am, getting incredulous looks and raised eyebrows when I confess to being single at the ripe old age of 38. Take the conversation I had with a minicab driver who drove me home after a boozy night out.� �How old are you?� he asked, �38� I replied.� �Oh my God, really?� he said, with a forceful emphasis that I find African minicab drivers have down to perfection.� When he then learned that not only am I that old, but also single and childless, his eyes nearly popped out of his head.� �Oh dear, oh dear, 38 and still single.� And no children either.� Oh dear� he repeated, shaking his head vigorously.� �Thanks a lot mate� I think, but what am I supposed to say?� �Actually I�m a serial killer who�s killed all 5 of my husbands and buried them under the floorboards.�� Oh well, he did say he thought I looked a lot younger, although that might have been when he realised there was no chance of a tip otherwise.� Hmm. I find the cruelest people are old distant relatives, and when you factor in that mine are Indian, it gets even worse.� They really know how to dig the knife in.� The most notable comment was from a wizened old crow who said �Older single women are like last week�s food rotting in the fridge.� No-one wants them any more.�� Well at least I don�t have whiskers growing out of my chin, grandma! So, to answer the question once and for all, here�s my theory.� I don�t think I had any idea of who I was, and what I wanted, until I was well into my late twenties.� In fact, I cannot recognise the �me� that I was before that time.� I have no doubt that whoever I may have married at that time would not suit me now.� Unless they also changed in the same way as I have done, i.e. beyond all recognition. So, next thing I know I�m 38 and according to minicab drivers and old women, completely on the shelf.� Great.� I wouldn�t mind so much, but it�s not as though these people have fared much better.� As I said to the minicab driver �So how about you?�� He replied �Oh, I�m divorced�. I wonder if any of these people can believe that this 38 year old single woman is quite happy with her lot. �Ok so I�m single, but I�m content.� So excuse me if I�m not spending every waking hour formulating a cunning plan to ensnare a man.� And then crying into my wine glass when it fails. Don�t get me wrong, should a suitable man come along, I�m not going to turn him down.� I�ve accepted that my �meeting Mr Right� phase is a bit later than the conventional standard.� I can even guarantee that he won�t say �she just wasn�t the person I thought she was� a few years down the line.� Because I�ve already been through that.� And I was considerate enough to do it own my own, rather than whilst in a relationship.� I should be lauded rather than made to feel like a freak. So next time I get the withering �So you�re still single� look, I�m going to say �Yes, isn�t it great I�ve chosen to wait until the time is right.�� And you know, this shelf is not as uncomfortable as you might think! R **************************************************************************************************** If you have want to win a pair of tickets to our upcoming "Perfect Fashion Show" worth �250 then read our blog to find out more. http://www.asiansinglesolution.com/blog/asian-dating-news/competition-win-perfect-fashion-show-vip-tickets/

Latest Feedback

2010-06-10 12:54:34 Here's a selection of our recent feedbacks. As promised, we'll be regularly updating this blog page so you can see the fantastic success rates our customers have: June 2010 "Hi Paul / James and team I think your site is great, helpful and easy to use. I have found my match after so long and thank you all so much for making this happen!" MN "Honestly speaking, I feel what you guys have done with SS, and achieved with your brand (for what its worth) - is awesome, overall" SM "Thanks a ton for creating a sit exclusively for Asians as I believe that is a good way to meet like minded Asians." AM May 2010 "Great site - recommended to friends" CL "A fine service to humanity !" AM "Great venue, relaxed atmosphere, good guests, helpful staff" MV "The service was brilliant, I got to know alot of nice people who are now mates" MA "I had a really enjoyable time on Sat.� Much more so than anticipated I might add!" RK "The magician was brilliant and you should give him more work!" AD "Thank you for all your support, it was really good being with you.." HM "Very good site and well organised events" BP "Venue was right size for turn out, good facilities. Great music and good bar service." NN "The event was great. The Ice breaker with the cards worked really well and the staff were really friendly and helpful. It exceeded my expectation and was a light relaxed friendly environment. " HS "Excellent. one of the best sites on the web" SR April 2010 "I would just like to let you know that I met my now husband not last October but the one before last at one of your events. We had a wonderful wedding on April 7th. We are eternally grateful to the singlesolution for bringing us� together. Long live the Singlesolution! "I thoroughly enjoyed Saturday's party which was the first I'd attended for some time" MW "Just to let you know I am seeing someone who I met through the website!" HP "Good Services and has helped me to find someone with my busy lifestyle"� SC "Pretty good, as I managed to find my man on the site!" SP "I really enjoyed using this site and found it great to meet some prospective partners. Thanks and keep up the great work."� IM "I think your parties are great, probably the best of all the singles parties - I would recommend them to my single friends - wishing you continued success." SH March 2010 "You guys rock!" BP "Great site.. met a few very decent guys on your site whom I am now friends with. would definitely come back if iI was single again. Thank you!" DN "This is a very good service and I have recommended to many of my single friends" HD "Well organised and very civilised events" PK "I went to your valentine event and all the staff, the organisation, let me say, was brilliant. Thank you again, and will keep you posted!" MM

"I think you are on to a good thing with this whole website.� The turnout was marvellous on Sat despite the transport probs..

I liked the magician he was a nice guy.� All in all a good event."� JV

Dating someone with a special diet

2010-06-15 15:52:40

Eating out is one of the most common dating activities. However, it can come with it's own problems.

What do you do if you are a vegetarian or have some other dietary requirement?

If you've made a major lifestyle choice to be a vegan or vegetarian then you'd be better off stating this before you go on a date. By being open from the start you'll avoid any embarrassing situations.

Of course, If you've met online then your date should hopefully have already spotted this. If you get a chance to put it in your profile then always do so.

If you simply don't like eating certain food or have an allergy then it's probably best not to make a big deal out of it. Instead, choose foods that don't contain these items. You'll want to focus on what you DO like rather than what you don't.

After a few dates it's fine to mention it but don't let it spoil the romance of your first meal together.

So what do you do if YOU are the meat eater and your date is a vegetarian? While it's true that you aren't about to stop eating certain foods, you do want to create the best impression possible. Therefore, rather than avoiding the meat dishes, search out the best vegetarian ( or vegan) restaurant in the area. You'll get extra brownie points and will also get to try some delicious new meals.

James Preece - The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Competition Entry: Hair today - gone Tomorrow

2010-06-16 10:36:00 Here's a funny entry for our Perfect Fashion Blog Competition - ends this afternoon! As many of us asian females are aware, many of our asian males do have requirements (yes, and these can stretch to a list lol). One such requirement is the traditional long lustrous�hair which Bollywood Belles used to don with such grace (reality�snippet : they were wigs most of the time, sorry to break the fantasy of any bollywood heros). Anyway, I had a pic posted of myself : I tried to find the most flattering pic I could,�difficult job, as Im not blessed with being naturally photogenic, or <laughingly> naturally "anything", everything requires effort. This particular photo had me with long lovely hair. However, as we all know, (girls)�one trip to the hairdressers can change that in a snip ! (You've�got quite a few split ends, you know the usual hairdresser�admonishments)�Behold, my long lustrous mane was severely reduced to a short bob cut almost. Mortified, as I had a date, in a few days, I shrieked and freaked out on the phone to my friend, who furtively suggested donning a wig ! Where on earth am I going to get a wig I wailed. As friends go, she whipped out a wig .. don't ask me how she had a wig in her closet ; lets not go there. Anyway, amidst much laughter in attempts to fit it ... I decided to wear it. The day of the date, arrived. My dears, I strode into London on the tube, confident in my long lustrous WIG. I met up with my date at a suitable central location in London. We�propped ourselves on a�bench, and dears, I was mortified to discover that my date, was staring incredulously at my hairline. My eyes widened as I saw his eyes nearly popping out and I could feel the wig, was sliding backwards : it�was so long, unknowingly,�Id been sitting on it, causing the wig to slide, to reveal my own hairline. .. OMG ! I�gasped and�rattled an explanation - I just had to tell the truth, no matter how unladylike I was looking : my own hair� was appearing and looking very dishevelled, not to mention sweaty�under that damn�wig. The date ended in riotous�laughter and oodles of embarrassment on my part. Never again. Conclusion is, you go as you are, and�no matter how or what you look like on the outside, if the�other person is�for real, and�they like you for real, that's what counts, not�the length or breadth of your hair or any other part of you. N www.asiansinglesolution.com

Competition Blog: Dating Tips on Chivalry

2010-06-16 16:04:25 Here's another dating tip from our "Perfect Fashion Show" Blog competition : Money and looks always attractive but poise and authority more so; 'The persona of chivalry' He/ she has: An air of sociability and hospitality Unrushed , calm and always has time In control of life and never stressed Naturally charming to everyone Rarely loses temper and never in public Can seemingly handle any situation Is patient and left unruffled by lifes daily irritations Modest yet confident and cultivates an air of authority By N. James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Dating Problem: Too Keen

2010-06-17 12:12:47 Here's a dating problem answered. Dear James, I've� been seeing a lovely guy for a few weeks now.� We get on great and things are going well...but he's just a bit too keen!�� He texts me several times a day and gets upset if we don't speak every evening.� I do really like him but I can't breathe!�� What should I do? Nisha *************************************************** Dear Nisha, Thank you for your email.�� It's a difficult situation as you need to� tread carefully.� If you play harder to get then he might try even harder.� But if you don't then he'll put you off and it will be too late to do anything.� That would be a real shame if you do like each other. Some people need constant reassurance that all is going well and they are worried they might lose momentum if they don't show they are interested.� However,� the adoring puppy look isn't a sexy one. My advice is just to be honest with him.� Tell him you really like him but he needs to back off and give you some space.� Set boundaries and make sure he sticks to them. If he does this properly you might even find that you have the urge to contact him more.� Absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder and you'll miss his constant contact! Good luck, James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Dating Dilemma: Should I Give In?

2010-06-22 10:50:22 Here's a new dating question for the Dating Guru: Dear James, I have been dating this guy, J, for only a few days. He has an ex girlfriend that still harasses him constantly for his attention and for sex I am at a disadvantage because I have asked him to wait before we sleep together and he does not like or respect the idea I don't really know what usually goes on in a guy's mind but him being impulsive and his ex girlfriend constantly sending him sexual beams, I am sure he is about to sleep with her and dump me I know he misses the sex with her because he's still attracted to her and she obviously misses him I don't know what to do. Please advise! C ******************************************************** Dear C, Thank you for writing to me. I can see why you are confused. This guy is definitely playing games with you in an effort to get you to sleep with him. How do you know his ex keeps texting him for sex? If he cared about you he'd either block her from contacting him OR would be respectful another not to tell you about his. Instead, he's using it against you to try and force you to do something you don't want to to. The bottom line is that if you don't feel ready - don't do it! It's only been a few days after all. If you have to wait six months until you want to have sex then he needs to understand that. He sounds like a selfish jerk anyway. If he doesn't get what he wants from you then he'll soon go back to his ex. If you DO sleep with him he'll get bored soon enough and start looking for his next conquest. This isn't love, it's lust. He needs to the sex to boost his own ego. Whatever you do, you'll always be worrying which doesn't make a happy relationship. My advice?� Talk to him and try and reach an agreement.� If he still continues to tease and pressure you then dump him. You'll soon find someone better who deserves to be with you. Good luck! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

How to Heat Up your Love Life

2010-06-28 16:33:40 Summer is here and the sun is shining.� It's the best time of year for dating so you need to make the most of it - it won't last long! Here are some great date ideas we know you'll love: 1)Take a trip to the seaside.�� If you have an Oyster Card then you can get return train tickets for an amazing �5 return until the end of July!� You can choose from Brighton, Bognor Regis or Southend.� Check out the Daysoutguide for more info. 2) Hampton Court Palace.� This is most famous for it's huge outdoor maze.�� Stay close together and have fun trying to get out.� You'll be amazed at how much you enjoy it! 3) Boating. Both Regents Park and Hyde Park have famous boating lakes.� You can hire a small rowing boat and take your date out for a leisurely afternoon on the lakes. If you really can't be bothered then there are plenty of boats trips available near the Thames. 4) London Zoo.� This really does make a wonderful date as there is so much to see and talk about.� Everyone has a favourite animal so why not sponsor one for your date while you are there? 5) Picnic in the Park.� This isn't a new idea but it's still of the best as it's so easy to do.� Just pack a picnic basket and head somewhere romantic. Make sure you pack strawberries, cream and champagne to make it unforgettable. 6) A show under the Stars.� There are plenty of big music concerts and films at this time of year, all outside. � We particularly recommend the Regent's Park Open Air Theatre. 7)� Watch the Sun set.�� Take full advantage of one of nature's loveliest views - the sun setting.�� You can either do this from the top of a hill or a roof terrace restaurant.� The choice is yours. 8) Ice Cream Parlour.� We all loved this when we were kids so you can bring back happy memories instantly.� Harrods and Selfridges have their own parlours but there are plenty of independent ones too. Just remember - you'll need one dessert and two straws! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

The Perfect Profile Formula

2010-07-01 12:09:43 Some people struggle to put together a half decent online dating profile. So today I'm going to make it easy for you! There is a simple "Four Step" Formula that you just need to follow.� I'm going to break it down into very small steps: Step One:� Introduction First things first - who are you and what are you doing on the site?�� This is your chance to capture their imagination and get their attention. If this bit isn't good then they'll get bored and won't read any further.�� Keep it short and simple - it's a taster not a life history. Step Two:� About You. The second part of your profile� needs to be your "advert" where you get to sell yourself.� Write about what you like doing, what you have offer and why people should be interested in dating you.� Why are you different from all the other people on the site? Step Three:� About the Person You are Looking For. Work out what's most important to you and what you want in a partner.� Don't be tempted to make a list of things you don't want.� This just makes you look like a negative person. Step Four:� End on an invitation. This is one of the most important sections.�� Give the reader the opportunity to get in touch.� Ask a question or invite them to suggest something.� Don't be tempted to say "Get in touch" or "Drop me an email" as that's not enough. One final tip for you.�� Don't be tempted to write too much. People have busy lives and want to be able to get a quick idea of what you are like and who you are.�� You can save in depth debates and three page anecdotes for when you meet!� It should be long enough to hook them in, but short enough to intrigue them. Good luck! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

The Vanishing Date

2010-07-06 12:52:32 It's time to get a bit spooky now. There's a strange dating phonemenon that you'll come across quite a bit. You'll go out on a date or two and everything will be going well.�� Then suddenly the emails, texts and phone calls stop. They have completely vanished, never to be seen again.� You try your best to contact them but you don't ever hear anything back. Where have they gone you wonder?� Maybe they've lost their phone, caught a terrible cold or been abducted by aliens.� You'll spend hours going over the possibilities about why they've disappeared. This will also happen all the time with online dating.� You'll start chatting and look forward to getting to know them - when they cut you off cold. The truth is that there are endless reasons why they've gone, perhaps they have got back with their ex, or circumstances have changed. Just maybe they will call you soon as phones DO get lost and stolen, people do go away with work, they do get ill etc and all manner of crazy things can happen in people's lives, but ninety nine times out of a hundred there's one major factor that causes this.�� Brace yourself, the reality can be hard to come to terms with....they just aren't interested! Sadly, you'll probably never know the true reason why. My advice is just to accept it and move on. Don�t take it personally, but look at the good things you�ve learnt from the experience. Get straight onto arranging lots of other dates with new people, so you are never in the position where you have to keep waiting to hear back from one person. Lead an active, busy life and you won�t have time to worry about these things. Perhaps one day a UFO will land and bring them all back! If you've done this to someone else it's very unfair.� You don't want to hurt their feelings so you decide to cut off all contact instead.� This is actually very cowardly and leads to confusion.� It's much better to say you weren't feeling it and wish them luck finding someone who deserves them. Good luck! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

When should I propose?

2010-07-08 12:10:31 So you've been together a while and you want to settle down.� You'd love to get married but how long should wait to propose? Wedding Ideas magazine recently ran a study to find out exactly how long people leave it to get engaged. The results were very interesting. They showed that most couples will get engaged within two years of their first date. For the next three years after that� proposals are very rare.� Then they pick up again rapidly between five and ten years. However, if you have to wait longer than that then chances are you'll never get engaged.� Only� four per cent of couples will get married who have been together this long. Interestingly, short "whirlwind" romances - where they had been together for six to eight months resulted in 6.8 of all engagements. Rachel Morgan, the Editor of the magazine added this : �Couples tend to hold on until their incomes are secure before making an announcement" These results seem to indicate that if you've been waiting over ten years then perhaps it's time to move on if you aren't happy.� Some men get comfortable with the way things are are don't see the point in officially getting married.� After all, they've already got everything they want!� However, they might not realise you want to get hitched so maybe it's time to drop some not so subtle hints! The good news is that if you've been together for two years then the odds are you'll be getting engaged soon!� If you do - and met through us - don't forget to let us know! Happy dating, James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Who is calling?

2010-07-12 13:22:13 You might think that if you send out enough messages, with your personal contact info, you will get results. Wrong. For many reasons we advise against this. Here are the top 5 reasons why it doesn't work. 1. Speaking to someone you know is hard enough, so why would anyone call a total stranger without even a cursory online chat first? Men might but women won't. 2. If you've given out your number too early, you won't know who is calling. Imagine the scene. "Hi, its me from the site" [caption id="attachment_713" align="alignnone" width="123" caption="Sorry, who is calling?"][/caption] "er..... sorry, who? Which site? Please just hold the line while I check your profile." Embarrassing isn't it? and that is if they call, which they probably won't, so you've blown your chances. 3.� Ladies in particular may not want to reveal personal information like a phone number without getting to know you online first. Once the other person has your details there is no going back. Ultimately, you cannot avoid this, but at least get to know a little about them first. 4. Just giving out your number in the first message might make you appear unselective or indiscriminate at best, or desperate and lazy at worst. 5. If someone emails you outside the site, then like point 2 above, it is much harder to know who is messaging you and to keep track of who is who. Our advice would always be to chat online first. You can use the messaging system, or our live chat feature. You can always agree a time to chat online, at a time that suits you both. Make it easy for the other person by asking short simple specific questions about them or something in their profile. If you are nervous about giving your number out, then register for a personal number. This is an 07 number that you can have diverted to your mobile. Some sites charge a nominal fee for this such as UK2numbers.co.uk other sites might be free. Just remember if you dial out your number is going to be displayed, unless you type 141 in front of the number. Once you feel comfortable you can swap proper numbers but it doesn't hurt to keep your number private the first time you chat. Remember - use the site for messages, that is what it is there for. Paul Ergatoudis Dating Expert and Director at www.AsianSingleSolution.com

Why am I always just the friend?

2010-07-19 11:05:53 In today's blog I answer another member's dating problem. How do you avoid the dreaded "friends zone"? Dear James, I hope you can help me.� I don't seem to have a problem getting dates but I always seem to end up in the "just a friend" category after.� We'll have a good time and I'll be looking forward to seeing them again, only to be blown out. They'll tell me I'm a lovely guy but they just seem see me as a friend.� What can I do about this? G ********************************************* Dear G, Many thanks for your email.� It's very easy to get stuck in the friends zone if you don't make your interest clear. I'm going to show you how to move on from friend to boyfriend. 1) Be flirty.�� You need to try and escalate things physically.� Stay clear of anthing creepy of course,� but you do have to lightly touch her every now and again. This can be as simple as touching her arm or giving her a quick hug at the start of the date.� Once you are sure she is comfortable, step it up a little. Perhaps you can give her a high five or hold her wrist while you pretend to be interested in her watch. 2) Be a a Man.� Women need to respect your masculinity if they want to date you. This means paying the bills, being confident and not chasing them round like a lovesick puppy. 3) Be Romantic.� If you want her to feel romantic towards you then you need to set the scene.� Take her to romantic places, buy her small gifts and treat her like she's the most important person you've ever met.�� If she feels special then you'll be making her feel good too - meaning she will want more of it! 4) Make your interest clear.� How will they know you like them if you are too nervous to tell them?� Bite the bullet and make your move.� If you delay it she'll assume you only want to be friends and it's very hard to turn it round. 5) Remember all is not lost.� Many friendships do eventually turn into relationships and can often be longer lasting because of it. Good luck! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

Don't give up!

2010-07-21 12:40:17 Are you struggling with dating?� Not having the success you want? In today's blog I'm going to motivate you to keep at it! Many people seem to give up far too easily and quickly when it comes to dating.� Perhaps they will join an online dating site, send out some messages and then get disappointed when they don't get many replies.� Or maybe they'll attend a singles event and not find anyone they like there. Rather than keep at it, they'll think"Oh, I've tried that and it didn't work.� Now I can cross that off my list." We know that it can sometimes seem exhausting if you don't get get instant results but dating is a trial and error process and the more you do then the better you'll get at it Yes, you'll make mistakes at the start but please don't give up. You need to keep in mind that these things really do work!� Every day we get success stories sent to us from people who struck lucky.� The secret is to keep at it - like most things in life you get out of it what you put into it.� Otherwise it's like joining a gym, going twice and then quitting because you weren't miraculously fit and muscular.� These things can take time. One person said to me recently that they've calculated they would have to send out 100 messages to get 10 replies back which would lead to one or two dates.� They just didn't have time to be sending out so many messages each week. My reply to him was that he was thinking about the negative side of things rather than the reality.� What if one of the first people he met up with turned out to be his Miss Right?�� He'd then be able to stop messaging people.� Therefore, he should spend more time making sure he has the best profile, photos and messages possible right from the start.� He can then be sure he's equipping himself with the best tools for the job. The more work you put in at the start, then the quicker you'll see the results! If you ever find yourself tempted to give up then get a friend to help you.� Ask them to send out some messages with you or attend events with you.� That way you'll get a whole new perspective on things. Finally, we are here to help if you ever need motivation. All you need to do is ask. Good luck! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com

How to break bad dating habits

2010-07-26 10:45:18 Do you have a destructive or dysfunctional habit that's stopping you from getting dating success? We take a look the ways some people can sabotage themselves on a date and how they can fix this. First of all,� you need to work out what exactly you are doing wrong.� Then it can be easy enough to put things right. This can usually fall in to one of three things: Too Needy,� Too Negative or Too Picky 1)Too Needy You are so desperate to get a partner that you accept anyone who shows any interest.� You go out on dates purely for the sake of dating and often end up sleeping with anyone who pays you any attention.� You get upset and angry when you don't hear back from the straight away and ruin possible relationships by being too keen or demanding. Sometimes you think that this person will be able to fix your life or you'll overlook major issues thinking that you can change them yourself. The Cure:� Take a step back.� If you need to, have a break from dating and only ever date someone you think you really will have a great future with. 2)Too Negative You've had some bad experiences in the past and don't want to� let yourself get hurt again.� Therefore you focus on your past rather than looking to your future. Your date doesn't want to hear about how bad your life is or hear about your faults and insecurities. The Cure:�� Challenge yourself to be positive.� Wear something that you feel great in and keep your body language upbeat and friendly. Work out all the things in life that you enjoy and that are going well for you.�� Everyone is different so don't expect them to treat you the same as your ex. 3) Too Picky Nobody is able to meet your high standards and as such you won't give anyone a chance.� You'll come across as rude and defensive rather than a possible partner.� Perhaps you won't make the effort on a date as you've already decided it's not going to go anywhere before you've even met. The Cure:�� Take the opportunity to find out more about your date.�� What do you have in common?� Are you enjoying their company?� Above all, work out what really is important to you and let anything else go.� You aren't perfect so why would they be? Good luck! James Preece - The Dating Guru www.asiansinglesolution.com