How To Sell Yourself On Your Dating Profile

August 13th, 2019

There is no room for modesty when it comes to your dating profile. Even if you are a private person, you need to up your game if you want to make it work! There are so many active profiles on dating sites in the UK. It can be hard to stand out, especially when you want to fill out the profile quickly. Many people think by having a dating profile and messaging people, they will get dates. Unfortunately, other people have to find you interesting in some way. Your messages may be well-crafted, but if your profile is dull, your message is going to end up unread.

You have to really sell yourself on your dating profile. How? By highlighting every quality that makes you amazing. Yes, you are amazing. Why? Write down every reason you think you might be amazing. Amazing means dateable. If you’re really good at a particular sport, include that. If you hold the world record for the most hot-dogs eaten, you could mention that too as it’s fun. You want to choose accomplishments that will interest other people. It may feel like you are embellishing your better qualities, but that is fine. Do not try to balance this with your bad qualities. There is no room for negativity on a dating profile. Your dating profile should be a negative free zone. Seriously.

If you’re not sure that your giving an accurate description of your awesomeness, ask a friend or family member to review your profile. If they offer suggestions, use them! No one knows you better than the people who are closest to you. Their insight can drastically improve the accuracy of your profile. This can also give you insight to how potential dates are going to view you.

The best way to list your awesomeness is actually in a list. It’s hard to read a wall of text, so breaking up information into easily digestible lists is ideal. It’s easy to skim and still have information jump out. You should do the same thing with your hobbies & interests as well. Now, when you’re crafting the list of things you love, consider leaving out solitary actions. You want to share hobbies you have with a potential interest. Reading a book isn’t going to sound like a fun date, unless you are both introverts.

Building an online dating profile isn’t a one-time shot. A dating profile should be considered an ongoing project. You need to adjust your profile on a semi-regular basis. Add new information. Remove old information. Experiment with what is working and what isn’t. This applies to everything, including your photo, tagline, bio, and even the messages you send out. If something isn’t working, you need to figure out what it is and how to fix it. The only way to do that is by keeping your profile fresh and exciting.

Consider someone checking your profile for a second time, not recognizing they already passed you over. Now, you have a new picture and new information and something on your profile stands out. They decide to message you and you hit it off. It is possible to catch someone’s attention like this. You wouldn’t shop in a store that never changed their display, would you? It’s the same concept.

Ask yourself: What do you find attractive about other people’s profiles? How can you apply that to your own profile?

Of course, there are some things you should avoid when it comes to building your profile, such as:

Using cliches
Photos that show other people
Photos that don’t show your face
Too many emoticons
Too many generic statements, not enough substance
Sending boring messages

If you were a salesperson, think of attributes that would sell your product to a customer. You are essentially selling yourself to a potential date. You should treat it the same way. Honesty is always the most important thing to include on your profile.

Happy dating!

James Preece

Dating Coach for Asian Single Solution

TV Casting: Are you a Hindu Couple from different castes?

July 22nd, 2019


I work with a Manchester based TV production company called Workerbee. Workerbee is part of the Endemol Shine Group and make a wide range of high-quality factual programming for both national and international broadcasters such as the BBC, ITV, Channel 4, Discovery and National Geographic. 

We are currently working on a BBC 1 documentary looking at the Hindu community in Britain, specifically experiences around caste. The film is a 10:40pm slot and has been commissioned and greenlit. 

The film will follow Parle Patel, who has a huge online presence and is a well-known figure in the Hindu community, through his work on BBC Asian Network and Planet Parle, as he navigates through his own identity as a British Hindu – meeting others along the way. Parle’s YouTube channel has had over 5 million views globally and he is a frequent panellist at community events.

As part of the film we are looking to speak to Hindu couples who are from two different castes who passionate about their identities and want to share their views, or people who have experienced relationship breakdowns due to caste. We’d like to hear about their experiences and how they were able to navigate through something like this. I wondered if you would be kind enough to put out a post on your social media or if you could mention our project in your newsletter? 

Filming for the programme has already started, so ideally I’m hoping to have an initial chat with people within the next week. Of course there isn’t any obligation to take part in anything, but if anyone would like to find out more or share their experiences with me you can reach me on this email
E-mail : [email protected] or on 0161 503 7837. 

Many thanks for your time. 

Kindest Regards,
Laura

The Secret To Making Coffee Dates Work

July 9th, 2019

A “coffee date” is often something our members do before a “real” date. The idea behind a coffee date is that you’re in a neutral location, often somewhere public. You have the chance to really talk, which gives you the opportunity to get to know someone a bit better. Unlike a date, there is no pressure to present yourself a certain way. This leaves room for casual conversation or intense questioning, if that’s the direct you end up in. Neither of you are trying to impress each other, you’re just getting a feel for each other’s personality. A coffee date is used as a screening test to determine compatibility.

If you hit it off, that’s great! The next step is making plans for a more serious date. If you don’t get on then perhaps it’s time to rethink your strategy.

Since there is no pressure on a coffee date, it should be easy enough, right? Unfortunately, that’s not always the case and you can find your date turning into a disaster. One of the most common mistakes on a coffee date is talking about relationships (exes, relationship goals, etc). Although it’s not a “date”, you still have to follow basic dating etiquette. A potential love interest doesn’t want to hear about previous relationships, whether they are good or bad. If you only have negative things to say about a previous partner, you sound bitter. If you only have positive things to say, you sound hung-up. You don’t want to give your date the idea that your heart/head is elsewhere. Instead, avoid the topic of past relationships altogether. It’s best to keep a coffee date light-hearted.

You are encouraged to ask questions and get to know each other. That is the whole point of the pre-date coffee date. The best subjects to talk about are hobbies & interests, things you’re passionate about, music & movies, etc. These are easy questions to answer and they provide enough information about each other. You can really get to know a person through the things they are passionate about.

The secret to making coffee dates work is to view your “date” as new friend instead. This should help to take ALL the pressure off for both of you. By allowing a more casual interaction, coffee dates give you more opportunity to express your authentic self. If you’re prone to making cheesy jokes, go for it. If your favorite outfit includes 3 different patterns, wear it. You’re not trying to impress anyone, which actually makes you more likely to be impressive.

You are just two human beings enjoying conversation over coffee. Doesn’t that sound easy?

The most important thing to remember is to follow the direction of the conversation. There are always going to be awkward silences. You only need to worry when they are frequent and long. If you find you have to manually steer the conversation, that could suggest you don’t share enough common ground. It never hurts to have conversation starters in the back of your mind. This can help get the conversation flowing again. If you’re both having a good time, sharing stories and laughing together, you’ll be seeing each other again soon.

Happy dating!

James Preece

Dating Coach for AsianSingleSolution.com

7 Questions You HAVE To Ask On A First Date

June 12th, 2019

First dates are filled with questions. You want to get to know your date and they want to get to know you. You talk about things you enjoy and share stories with each other. It’s a back and forth of information, loaded with potential topics for the future. It can be fun to learn about a new person, especially when the conversation is flowing. The best conversation is the conversation that changes itself. It adapts and always gives you something new to talk about. Great conversation suggests compatibility. Obviously, a date isn’t going well if you’re both looking for ways to change the subject!

There are some questions you have to ask on a first date. These help to determine whether or not there is potential for a future together. Compatibility is always the first consideration, but these questions may help you to make more informed decisions.

  • What type of relationship are you looking for?

We don’t always see eye-to-eye when it comes to relationships. For some, a long-term relationship is the ideal. Marriage, children and a white picket fence. For other people, a short-term relationship is all they can commit to. Others yet are only interested in hook-ups and casual interactions. It’s important to know where your date stands on the scale. It’s also important to know what you are looking for.

  • Do you consider your life to be simple or complicated?

This question can help you to determine the type of person you’re dealing with. If your date considers their life simple, it could mean they don’t seek challenges and they don’t have any drive. It could also mean they know how to appreciate everything they have. They could have a positive outlook. Someone who considers their life complicated may be a bit harder to adjust to. They could have a completely tumultuous lifestyle.

  • Describe a typical day for you.

Listen closely to this answer. You may learn more about your date with this question than all the other questions combined.

  • Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

When you ask a question like this, you are putting your date on the spot. You may find a brief silence as they have to consider the answer. Maybe they already know exactly where they plan to be. If they do have a clear outline for their future, consider where you may fit into their plans. Contemplate this to yourself, don’t ask your date. The first date is too early to know whether or not you can fit into someone’s future.

  • What are you the most proud of?

It may put your date on the spot, but it will help you to gauge what they deem their greatest accomplishments. You will also learn what aspects of their life are most important (recreation, community, business, love, etc).

  • Who are the most important people in your life?

The answer to this question can tell you a lot about a person. If they answer that their family is, it shows they are family-oriented. They are likely ideal for settling down and creating a family of their own. If they single out a member of their family or choose a friend, follow up by asking them to explain why they chose that person.

  • If you were left stranded on an island and could only choose 3 things, what would you choose?

This question is more light-hearted than the other questions. While being fun, it can also help you to learn about your date. If they choose food & water, they are likely practical. If they choose an electronic, they are likely more frivolous. If they choose a book, they are practical with whimsical tendencies.

It isn’t hard to find good questions to ask on a first date. The examples above can be used as reference points or you can come up with your own. The important thing is to find out where your date wants to be in the future and whether or not that goal fits with your own goals.

Just remember that what you talk about, make sure it’s fun.

Happy dating

James Preece

www.asiansinglesolution.com