Mans best kept secret (and they still don't know it) 'The ALchemist' a small, rare super mammal-on the verge of extinction not to mention other biological atrocities-inquire further and you will be enlightened) This specimen came into existence in 1984 in the third-most densely populated English district. Can you guess where?
Small/Petite (pocket sized) 4'10"
Slender physique; weight of about 45 Kg
Brown curly mane with hues of ash blonde (subject to change)
Unusual characteristic-has the ability to invert her eyelids.
Diet: (Ground Grazer) Eats a remarkable portion of food for her size. Predominantly a carnivore but needs both meat and veg. Strangely exhibits sporadic episodes of vegetarianism. The guilt of overindulgence perhaps? This creature can often be seen hovering around a refrigerator late at night. Has a particular fondness to savoury snacks- Ridged crisps and chocolate!Yummers!
Habitat: Particularly territorial in the kitchen (perhaps because it's food source is housed in this location?) Prefers warmer climates and tends tobecome temperamental with the changing seasons most notably in the winter months. Known for periodic biological rage every 28 days normality resumes following the egg harvest!
The ALchemist can defend herself tremendously well considering her petite size with forward kicks
and other skilful moves (running in the opposite direction-should a threat present itself!) This creature exerts a potent chemical called Miraculin which is emitted through her Pheromones and is known to effect the male mind and charm a potential mate into a point of submission. It is also capable of high pitched sounds to signal danger!
The ALchemist is highly energetic, agile and naturally designed for endurance. She is known for her productivity and her insatiable desire to succeed. Her shy disposition can often be perceived as off standish and highly strung! An introvert at heart but capable of being sociable in any given environment.
Predators and Threats: Other humans. Ravenous male creatures who have had limited feeding opportunities or those who are just gluttonous and require an additional feed.
When she recognises a potential mate she is known to exhibit facial blushing and cognitive meltdown a strong indication of her romantic interest.
Much is still unknown about this elusive creature. However extensive research is required to find out more. Submit your particular interests on this vanishing breed through to my ASS inbox...Let's see how things unfold. I'm merely a message away..so why delay the gratification?!
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Repellant categories (need not apply)
Mr Toxic Narcissist (A mirror is your true companion)
Mr Rough Rogue (uncontrolled raw masculinity-a bit much for me)
Mr Psychopath (self explanatory)
Mr Animal poacher (I'm already on the verge of extinction need I say anymore!)
Mr Raging Bull (Contain your testosterone levels!!)
Mr Commitment Phobe (A man of the short haul persuasion is a turn off- as his objective is pretty transparent)
Mr Cookie Cutter (individuality is appreciated)
Mr Creepy older Guy (for clarification please refer to my upper age criteria)
P.S Which animal would you choose to describe your personality and why?
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