Home > Dating Tips
We know our guests don't need any tips, but we feel a sense of duty to share our most intimate secrets with the world. Just follow our top tips, and being a success at the events will be a breeze.
This page covers the following topics:
Writing the Perfect Dating Profile
There is a simple “Four Step” Formula that you just need to follow. I’m going to break it down into very small steps:
Step One: Introduction
First things first – who are you and what are you doing on the site? This is your chance to capture their imagination and get their attention. If this bit isn’t good then they’ll get bored and won’t read any further. Keep it short and simple – it’s a taster not a life history.
Step Two: About You.
The second part of your profile needs to be your “advert” where you get to sell yourself. Write about what you like doing, what you have offer and why people should be interested in dating you. Why are you different from all the other people on the site?
Step Three: Figure out the type of person you’re looking for.
Work out what’s most important to you and what you want in a partner. Don’t be tempted to make a list of things you don’t want. Creating a list of things you do want is a great opportunity for other Asian singles to look past a photo and get to know your personality a little better. This just makes you look like a negative person.
Step Four: End on an invitation.
This is one of the most important sections. Give the reader the opportunity to get in touch. Ask a question or invite them to suggest something. Don’t be tempted to say “Get in touch” or “Drop me an email” as that’s not enough.
One final tip for you. Don’t be tempted to write too much. People have busy lives and want to be able to get a quick idea of what you are like and who you are. You can save in depth debates and three page anecdotes for when you meet! It should be long enough to hook them in, but short enough to intrigue them.
Sound exciting? Why not start your Asian dating search today by signing up and creating your own profile?
A guide to Online Chat
Online chatting can be a great way to get to know people quickly. You can search to see who is logged on at the same time you are and begin a conversation straight away. You’ll be able to talk with users from all over the UK who are looking for a fun conversation.
The thing to remember is that online chat is just for entertainment purposes only! It’s not a substitute for actually getting to know someone. It’s so much better to talk on the phone or meet face to face.
Our advice would be to make sure you take everything said with a pinch of salt, people tend to be different over messages vs. in real life. Sometimes if we chat online with someone for too long we create unrealistic expectations for each other which is why we recommend organising to go on a physical date sooner rather than later.
I’d also like to remind you that you are looking for serious dating, there isn’t much point in restricting your searches to “users online ” only. Many people don’t have the time to chat during the day and you’ll have a much better success rate if you send proper messages instead. The chances that your perfect match will online at exactly the same time you are slim.
So instead, just enjoy the chat feature for what it is – fun – and send out emails to anyone you like too.
Avoiding Online Dating Cliche
As an Indian matchmaker in the UK every week I get to see thousands of new profiles and it’s odd how many all say exactly the same thing. In this section, I’ll reveal the most common things I see, in the hope, you won’t write the same thing. These are five of the most common online dating cliches that are used within the Asian dating search:
1) “I don’t know what I’m doing on an online dating site.” This just makes you sound arrogant. By writing this you are suggesting that you are far too good to be on the site and what a hardship it is. As well as this you are insulting every other member on there too!
2) “I don’t know what to write” or “I’m not sure what to say.” So you are indecisive and boring right? Of course you aren’t….so never write this. Instead, carefully write something that will peak their interest and make you sound like someone they’d like to meet. Work out what’s special about you and tell the world.
3) “My friends and family are important to me.” Isn’t this really just stating the obvious? Friends and family are important to everyone. It would be much more worrying and abnormal if they weren’t!
4) “No time wasters/ players/ etc” This gives the impression that you’ve had some bad experiences in the past and are therefore judging all people before you’ve given them a chance. It’s doubtful that anyone would ever admit to being a time waster anyway.
5) “I’m open minded” While most people write this with the intention that they have no expectations when it comes to dating, the reality is that it comes across as if you looking for a casual relationship.
We often poll our users to get a feel of where the market is at the current moment in time. We recently did a poll in regards to dating and meeting up vs. staying online that you might find interesting.
Safety Tips to Remember
It’s always very important that you remember to plan your date carefully and follow basic safety rules. Most people are going to be normal, but as with anything you should always have your guard up for the tiny minority who are not. It’s all common sense but it can be easy to overlook these things if you get on well before you meet.
Online Safety tips for meeting your Indian match
1)Never give out your home address. This ensures personal safety and security
2)Trust your gut. If someone feels slightly off, chances are they could be. You know when you feel safe and when you don't. Never give in to pressure to meet up in person if you do not want to.
3)Have a chat with someone on the phone beforehand, this is a great way to get a better read on someone and pick up on mannerisms you wouldn't be able to over online chat
4)Look at their social media, if they have it. This is a great way to make sure someone isn't a catfish or hiding information from you such as a family. It can also be a good way to find out if you have any mutual friends.
5)The block button is your friend. If someone is making you feel uncomfortable, feel free to block them by tapping the block button on their profile. Furthermore, if you feel someone needs to be taken off the Asian Singles Solution site feel free to contact us to report them.
In-Person Safety tips for Asian dating
1) Always meet in a public place. This is the golden rule. Meet somewhere where there are lots of people.
2) Tell a friend or family member where you are going. You can even get them to call you at a certain time to make sure you are OK. If you change venues, update them with a quick text.
3) Never get into a car with someone you don’t know. Don’t let them pick you up from your home and don’t accept a lift. Instead, make your own way to the venue.
4) Don’t drink too much. Always know your limits so you can make sure that you stay in control.
5) If something seems wrong – leave. You should never feel pressurised into doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable. If your date genuinely has your best feelings at heart, they will want you to be happy. Never be afraid to walk out if things don’t feel right.
We take care of Indian matchmaking across the UK, this includes Asian dating, Hindu dating and Sikh dating, are you ready to find your match?
How to start a conversation on an in-person date
Sometimes the simplest and best chat up line is just to go up to someone and say “hello.” The golden rule is to make sure that you smile warmly.
Smiles are contagious and they won’t be able to stop themselves smiling back. It will make you seem like a genuine, nice person as long as you don’t overdo it. If you don’t smile you’ll just look miserable and they’ll be on their guard.
You can say hello to anyone, anywhere and it doesn’t have to be someone that you fancy. Why not practice talking to people you meet during your day. This can be the postman, waitress, person next to you at the supermarket etc. It takes a little bit of effort to get out of your comfort zone but the more you do the easier it will become.
Don’t forget to have something ready to ask once they’ve said hello back or you’ll find yourself lost. So ask them a question about what brings them there, tell them you liked something they were wearing or ask their opinion on a suitable subject. Another great question is to just ask how their day or evening is going.
Once you start chatting you’ll soon fall into natural conversation, so keep up your happy persona and pay lots of attention to what the other person is saying to you. As a guide, you should be talking for 30% of the time and listening for the other 70%. Make sure you don’t ask too many questions or you’ll look like a stalker.
After a few minutes of chatting you will know if you want to see them again. So if you do, tell them you really enjoyed meeting them ask what steps you should take to do it again properly. If they are interested they’ll then offer you their contact information.
How to make the right first impression
The overall idea, is to make the other person, feel good about themselves, and to want to talk to you. Its not just about being entertaining and making them laugh, although if you have a similar sense of humour then the rest is easy.
When you walk into the party room or a date, walk proudly and confidently. Possibly even pause, to survey the room, and to let people or your date notice you.
Decide what you most want to know about a person, before approaching them. Not a list of questions but a few ideas.
When approaching someone for the first time, above all else, smile. That lowers barriers and shows an intention to be friendly.
The first thing you say should be relevant to the occasion or the surroundings, and not be too personally intrusive etc The ice breaking games, give you a perfectly plausable excuse. At our events, it does not really matter that much as most people are open to being approached, so you dont have to overcome the barriers you would get in a regular bar or club. See later for good and bad opening lines.
Take an interest in the other person. People mostly like to talk about themselves, so listen to what they have to say. However, its not an interview, so be careful. It is important to develop the other persons answers wherever possible.
Try not to offer information about yourself unless asked. You can prompt questions by offering hints, and asking the other person the same question. They will normally reciprocate.
Establish areas of common interest. If necessary, save one for later, in case you get into difficulties.
When you encounter an area of commonality, where possible let the other person finish what they have to say. For example, If they met George Clooney that day, let them be the centre of attention for a few minutes before telling them that George Clooney is in fact your uncle.
Be complimentary about the other person, and mean it, but be realistic, say you like their hair, but don't say they have the most amazing hair you have ever seen, unless its true!
Seven tips for talking on a date
Here are our dating tips to help ensure your date goes smoothly and that you have lots to talk about.
1) Don’t interview them. Yes, you need to ask questions and find out about them but you aren’t on a chat show. If you start firing off questions then it will make them feel pressured and they’ll back off. So instead take turns to ask questions and acknowledge their replies rather than asking them something else immediately.
2) Use body language rather than talking. This can be as simple as smiling, nodding and paying full attention to what they are saying. If they feel you are enjoying what they are saying they will be more comfortable. Remember that it doesn’t always matter what you say, rather than the WAY you say it.
3) Flirt! If you don’t want to be stuck in the “just friends” zone then this is vital. Touch them lightly on the arm every now and again and try to be a bit cheeky, teasing them every now and again.
4) Sell yourself but not too much. Make sure you present yourself as best you can but don’t boast or bore. The key is to convey that you lead an interesting, fun, busy life.
5) Don’t fill every silence. Sometimes it’s good to pause for a short while. You don’t need to try and think of something clever to say, just enjoy the moment to reflect.
6) Have conversation topics ready just in case. If the chat completely dries up then you use these to get things back on track. Make sure it’s an interest topic you can both discuss, rather than a question they can answer with a yes or a no. You could ask them if they’ve ever had a supernatural experience, what their earliest childhood memory is or what their dreams are for the future.
7) Don’t be an Agony Aunt/Uncle. People have a tendency to unload their problems on others and they in turn want to be the one to solve them. They think that if they can help them their date will be eternally grateful and think they are wonderful. We want to avoid talking about negatives.
The idea of entering a room with 100+ strangers may seem daunting but it need not be if you follow these simple ideas. This section is mainly aimed at our speed dating events but some of the advice is great for one on one dating too
Think of the event as being just like a friends party. Many of the other guests, are probably the same kind of people that your friends might invite. Everyone is in the same boat, and are open to being approached, thats why they are there.
Use activities to your advantage
If activities are laid on, then take advantage of them. Many events, offer mini dating where you can meet six or so people quickly with successive 3 minute dates. Don't take activities too seriously, after all its a bit of fun, designed to help you meet some like minded people.
Make use of the ice breaking game cards, that is what they are there for. Use the cards to approach people, and to start off a conversation. You can always try it on someone of the same sex to test their reaction. The more people you get chatting to the more relaxed you are going to feel.
Make use of the activities and event hosts. They have profiles of all the guests and it’s their job to introduce you to new people.
Use making friends as a gateway to dating
Speak to guys and girls and treat everyone as a potential friend. Not only will you have more fun, but this will help you get into a flow of approaching people, and make it more natural when you meet someone you fancy.
Don't be too quick to judge. All people have something about them worth knowing, you can't tell straight away. They might share the same sense of humour as you, or have a very interesting job,or they might have a very infectious laugh or smile.
Consider your ages and go from there
Be realistic about age. You are more likely to be intellectually compatible with someone of similar age and most couples are within four or so years of each other. Men generally look for younger women, but women, are not normally interested in men unless they are within a few years of their own age.
Find the timing sweet spot
Try not to chat with the same person for too long. Unless you are really making progress with someone you are interested in, ten to fifteen minutes should be enough to make a decision about whether or not you want to meet that person again. The idea is that you collect usernames and follow up later, either the same night, or by using the emailing facility on the website.
After fifteen or so minutes you should establish if the person you are talking to is interested in you. This is not always obvious but look at their body language, and their reaction to what you have to say. If you are really unsure, invite them to join you to sit down with a drink then try mild flirtations, such as briefly touching their knee or shoulder. Watch their reaction, bearing in mind an alcoholic drink could cloud the true situation, and that the other person still doesn't know you very well.
You can never be too prepared
Pre-prepare some of our contact cards with your username, and one reason why someone would remember you. Eg lawyer, red shirt, likes hill walking. Then when you meet someone you are interested in give them your card and follow up later.
Making excuses is fine!
If you want to talk to someone else, make your excuses and move on. Easy ways out, are to go the bar or toilet, or say you want to find out how a friend is getting on, or speak to one of our staff. Or just be honest, and say it was nice chatting but that you'd like to meet a few more people. Other ways, might be to ensure you are signed up for one of the mini-dating rounds, or other activities on the night, at a specific time.
How to follow up after an event or date
You may want to follow up using the email system. You will need their username, so don't forget to ask if you don’t already have it.
Send a brief flirty message, to open a dialogue. Unless you are sure they will know who you are, include a memory jog similar to “Hey, i hope you’re well, we talked about X”
If you feel comfortable you may want to include your normal email address, if they reply with theirs, then you could be in luck.
Keep messages light-hearted, and try to swap emails or phone numbers, as online messaging is only active for two weeks.
5 ways to avoid unwanted attention
There are people out there who just can’t take a hint. You talk to them for a little while and once you’ve realised you don’t want to carry on then they just won’t take the hint. So how do you break off the conversation without upsetting them? Here are my suggestions on how to avoid this:
1) Just get up and go. It’s as easy as that. Explain that you would like to get a drink, want to catch up with a friend or simply that you want to speak to a variety of people. Tell them you really enjoyed talking to them and you’ll chat with them again later in the evening.
2) Never accept a drink if you aren’t interested. If you do, you’ll be obliged to stay talking with them for the duration of your drink. It’s better to buy your own drinks and be free to mingle.
3) If you are at a singles event, use a host to help. Tell them if someone won’t leave you alone and we’ll quickly introduce them to a more suitable match.
4) Whatever happens, be polite. You never know who might be watching or who they might be able to connect you with. It’s fine to tell them you aren’t a good match, but do it respectfully and be as friendly as possible.
5) Never dish out personal contact info to anyone you don’t intend to communicate with. It sounds pretty obvious but some people will still send over all their contact info ( or hand out a business card) to anyone and everyone. Don’t give anyone false hope that you will meet up with them again or you mind find they get frustrated and keep trying to get an explanation