The Secret To Making Coffee Dates Work

July 9th, 2019

A “coffee date” is often something our members do before a “real” date. The idea behind a coffee date is that you’re in a neutral location, often somewhere public. You have the chance to really talk, which gives you the opportunity to get to know someone a bit better. Unlike a date, there is no pressure to present yourself a certain way. This leaves room for casual conversation or intense questioning, if that’s the direct you end up in. Neither of you are trying to impress each other, you’re just getting a feel for each other’s personality. A coffee date is used as a screening test to determine compatibility.

If you hit it off, that’s great! The next step is making plans for a more serious date. If you don’t get on then perhaps it’s time to rethink your strategy.

Since there is no pressure on a coffee date, it should be easy enough, right? Unfortunately, that’s not always the case and you can find your date turning into a disaster. One of the most common mistakes on a coffee date is talking about relationships (exes, relationship goals, etc). Although it’s not a “date”, you still have to follow basic dating etiquette. A potential love interest doesn’t want to hear about previous relationships, whether they are good or bad. If you only have negative things to say about a previous partner, you sound bitter. If you only have positive things to say, you sound hung-up. You don’t want to give your date the idea that your heart/head is elsewhere. Instead, avoid the topic of past relationships altogether. It’s best to keep a coffee date light-hearted.

You are encouraged to ask questions and get to know each other. That is the whole point of the pre-date coffee date. The best subjects to talk about are hobbies & interests, things you’re passionate about, music & movies, etc. These are easy questions to answer and they provide enough information about each other. You can really get to know a person through the things they are passionate about.

The secret to making coffee dates work is to view your “date” as new friend instead. This should help to take ALL the pressure off for both of you. By allowing a more casual interaction, coffee dates give you more opportunity to express your authentic self. If you’re prone to making cheesy jokes, go for it. If your favorite outfit includes 3 different patterns, wear it. You’re not trying to impress anyone, which actually makes you more likely to be impressive.

You are just two human beings enjoying conversation over coffee. Doesn’t that sound easy?

The most important thing to remember is to follow the direction of the conversation. There are always going to be awkward silences. You only need to worry when they are frequent and long. If you find you have to manually steer the conversation, that could suggest you don’t share enough common ground. It never hurts to have conversation starters in the back of your mind. This can help get the conversation flowing again. If you’re both having a good time, sharing stories and laughing together, you’ll be seeing each other again soon.

Happy dating!

James Preece

Dating Coach for AsianSingleSolution.com

7 Questions You HAVE To Ask On A First Date

June 12th, 2019

First dates are filled with questions. You want to get to know your date and they want to get to know you. You talk about things you enjoy and share stories with each other. It’s a back and forth of information, loaded with potential topics for the future. It can be fun to learn about a new person, especially when the conversation is flowing. The best conversation is the conversation that changes itself. It adapts and always gives you something new to talk about. Great conversation suggests compatibility. Obviously, a date isn’t going well if you’re both looking for ways to change the subject!

There are some questions you have to ask on a first date. These help to determine whether or not there is potential for a future together. Compatibility is always the first consideration, but these questions may help you to make more informed decisions.

  • What type of relationship are you looking for?

We don’t always see eye-to-eye when it comes to relationships. For some, a long-term relationship is the ideal. Marriage, children and a white picket fence. For other people, a short-term relationship is all they can commit to. Others yet are only interested in hook-ups and casual interactions. It’s important to know where your date stands on the scale. It’s also important to know what you are looking for.

  • Do you consider your life to be simple or complicated?

This question can help you to determine the type of person you’re dealing with. If your date considers their life simple, it could mean they don’t seek challenges and they don’t have any drive. It could also mean they know how to appreciate everything they have. They could have a positive outlook. Someone who considers their life complicated may be a bit harder to adjust to. They could have a completely tumultuous lifestyle.

  • Describe a typical day for you.

Listen closely to this answer. You may learn more about your date with this question than all the other questions combined.

  • Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

When you ask a question like this, you are putting your date on the spot. You may find a brief silence as they have to consider the answer. Maybe they already know exactly where they plan to be. If they do have a clear outline for their future, consider where you may fit into their plans. Contemplate this to yourself, don’t ask your date. The first date is too early to know whether or not you can fit into someone’s future.

  • What are you the most proud of?

It may put your date on the spot, but it will help you to gauge what they deem their greatest accomplishments. You will also learn what aspects of their life are most important (recreation, community, business, love, etc).

  • Who are the most important people in your life?

The answer to this question can tell you a lot about a person. If they answer that their family is, it shows they are family-oriented. They are likely ideal for settling down and creating a family of their own. If they single out a member of their family or choose a friend, follow up by asking them to explain why they chose that person.

  • If you were left stranded on an island and could only choose 3 things, what would you choose?

This question is more light-hearted than the other questions. While being fun, it can also help you to learn about your date. If they choose food & water, they are likely practical. If they choose an electronic, they are likely more frivolous. If they choose a book, they are practical with whimsical tendencies.

It isn’t hard to find good questions to ask on a first date. The examples above can be used as reference points or you can come up with your own. The important thing is to find out where your date wants to be in the future and whether or not that goal fits with your own goals.

Just remember that what you talk about, make sure it’s fun.

Happy dating

James Preece

www.asiansinglesolution.com

New Site

May 5th, 2019
App Store

The App updates have been launched. Slightly earlier than planned including a new look for the site and new logo.

We anticipate our new look website will be going up first thing Tuesday (7 May) morning. The site may therefore be offline for an hour or so at some point Tuesday morning. Please bear with us.

Do report to us any issues that you have, once it is live.

The new site finally offers users a fully responsive service for both mobiles and desktops.

Other changes include more sophisticated locations, so we will no longer use post codes for distance calculations.

AsianSingleSolution

  • Posted in App

Why Now Is The Best Time To Be Single

April 23rd, 2019

At the end of every relationship, there is a period of self-reflection. You sit down and talk to yourself about the past, present, and future. Once you’re confident you know what you want in life, you decide to enjoy the highlights of being single for a little while. Then, there comes a time when being single is no longer as exciting as it once was! You want someone to spend time with and share a laugh with. So, you get back into the dating pool and start looking for a new romantic interest.

Rewind

There is no reason you can’t enjoy your own company for a while. There are many benefits to being single and right now is the best time to take action!

Focus On Your Career

One of the benefits to single life is being able to focus on your career. Marketing plays a major role in career development and it’s time consuming. If you’re single, you can devote yourself to developing your career. When you’re in a relationship, you have to find a balance between work and your social life. This means that single people are more likely to succeed professionally.

Less Stress

There are dozens of articles online that express the “science behind being single”. To summarize every article you could read, it’s all because single people have less stress. When you’re single, you can do anything you want to. You don’t have to coordinate your plans or get permission/confirmation. You can be spontaneous because you only have yourself to be responsible for. You can have a lot more fun when you’re not worrying about anyone else.

Alone Time

Along with doing anything you want, you can do it for as long as you want. The only time restrictions fit into your own schedule. Of course, being alone means you can get in touch with yourself in a new way. There are many things we learn about ourselves when we are single, such as what we want for ourselves. Alone time gives you the chance to figure out where someone else may fit into your plans for the future. You can really think about all the details you didn’t consider before. You can gain a whole new perspective on your own life, as well as the world around you.

Our society is always growing, advancing in new and exciting ways. As a result, there are more opportunities for people today than in the past. This includes career and dating opportunities. Right now is the best time to be single because anyone can take advantage of these opportunities.

This is why dating sites, such as Asian Single Solution, are so popular among singles. This type of application provides almost instant access to new people, without the commitment of a traditional relationship. This allows users their momentary indulgence, without becoming a distraction from their future plans.

If you are looking for a relationship, the best way to meet new people is by putting yourself where people are. This could mean approaching people in public places or online dating. We offer a fantastic online dating service for British Asians so why not give it a go?