Dating Guru’s Mailbag: Is he wasting my time?

Here is this week’s Dating Dilemma


Answered by our Dating Guru

“Hi James.  I am 20 yrs old and this guy is 25 years old. We met at a mutual friends party which was a night out, I thought he was really attractive but never thought he would have any interest, but he quickly approached me and we spent most of the night talking, and really clicked (well he texted the next day to say that we did) .
For the next couple of weeks there was some texting between us (i live about 2 hrs away where i go to uni) whereas he works in my home town. We tried to meet up when i was down but we were both busy. Then there was more texting, but this time it was not as much as before, i don’t reply as much and hes the same now. But he sometimes flirts and texts me to “hurry up home” and “next time youre down im seeing you”. This week ive come home and i told him about it last week, he hadnt replied so i assumed he wasnt interested, he texted me a few days ago saying he didnt realise im back and if im still around and that he thought id have told him… Its early days, but im just so confused, theres playing hard to get.. and then theres this!  Should i even bother meeting him this weekend if he asks? A”

Hi A,

Many thanks for you question.

I’m sorry that this guy is messing you around.  Perhaps he’s not sure what he really wants or has a girlfriend already.

Guys do this quite a lot as they enjoy the attention and the flirtation. They just aren’t quite ready to settle down as they’ve not grown up yet!  So they string you along with false hope until they get round to making a decision.

The distance and time apart may be a barrier to him.

Having said all that, if he does ask you out this weekend then you might as well give him a chance. If you see him, tell him the truth about how you feeling and that it’s not acceptable.  Say it in a friendly way rather than telling him off, but you need to stand up for yourself or his behaviour will never change.

If things go well then make sure keep up the texting in between seeing each other so it doesn’t fizzle out again.  Make sure you speak on the phone often too as it’s better than texting.

If you don’t hear from him then you should probably just delete his number, write him off as a timewaster and look forward to meeting a better guy next time.

I hope things work out for you one way or another :)

Best Wishes,



If you have your own dating dilemma please email me via  [email protected]

Good luck!

James Preece – the Dating Guru

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