You may be at a point in your relationship that feels flat. There’s no more excitement. You’re starting to feel distant. Intimacy has slowed or completely stopped. Internally, you may be panicking. At the same time, you’re hesitant to bring this up with your partner. Naturally, no one wants to have to say “this isn’t working”. It often leads to an argument because it sounds like the prelude to a break-up scene. If that’s not your goal, it’s all in the wording.
If the drift is minimal, it’s easy enough to get things back on track without even mentioning it to your partner. Of course, a healthy relationship means you should always feel comfortable talking to your partner. If you feel like the issue might be serious, you need to sit down and talk about what is going on. It could be something on both ends or something you’ve overlooked. It’s possible your partner isn’t feeling the relationship anymore. It’s more likely they are just going through something personal.
When you’re faced with any of these issues, here are 5 quick ways to strength your relationship:
Set aside alone time
While you might spend a good deal of time together, this is different. This refers to time without distractions or interferences. No TV or cellphones. No reading a book or magazine. Just spending time together. You may think this sounds boring, but use your imagination! You could play a board game together or simply talk. Use the time alone to express your concerns or to get to know your partner. There is always something new to learn, even if you’ve been together 40 years.
Do something different
Instead of sticking to the same routine, try spicing it up. This can be as simple or as complicated as you’d like. You could go to a restaurant instead of staying in for dinner. Go on a date, like you’re meeting for the first time. Go for a walk together in a park you haven’t been to in years. It doesn’t matter. Anything outside of your typical routine is going to be different enough. After all, relationships can feel stagnant simply because the routine has drained you. By switching up what you’re doing, you can bring the essence of youth back. Another great idea in this category is signing up for a class, maybe cooking or crafts. As long as it’s something you’ll both enjoy!
Celebrate each other
Naturally, you celebrate when your partner has accomplished something like a promotion or a raise. As important as it is to recognise big accomplishments, you need to learn to recognise the little ones as well. You can do this by saying thank-you for small house tasks. You can buy random inexpensive gifts or treats to show your partner that you’re thinking about them. You can get creative with dozens of ways to show your appreciation for your partner. This is the same as celebrating them. Remember that every day with your partner is a gift.
Get physical
Too often relationship problems are caused by a lack of physical intimacy. While that shouldn’t the base of any relationship, it is definitely one of the walls of the foundation. A healthy relationship always has a form of physical intimacy. This doesn’t always refer to intercourse. You can get physically intimate by holding hands, kissing, tender embraces and cuddling up on the couch to watch TV. Physical intimacy is really any kind of physical closeness. Every relationship needs that.
Communicate
This is a big issue in most relationships. Communication often stops feeling essential as you get used to the routine. You talk all the time about dinner, work, weather or upcoming events. But you don’t dive into the “how are you, really?” questions. Learning to communicate isn’t as quick as the other options, but it’s equally important. Without communication, any relationship is doomed to failure. This refers to learning to how to have an argument as well. Obviously, there are going to be issues that arise. You don’t need to avoid arguments in a relationship, you need to learn to communicate the real issue to get working on a solution.
Of course, every step you take in a relationship should be met half-way! If you’re not feeling valued as an equal or you feel you’re doing everything, it’s time to have a more serious talk.
James Preece
Dating Coach for AsianSingleSolution.com