Archive for 2011

Happy Christmas Season

Sunday, December 18th, 2011

Whatever you’ve got planned this holiday season, we hope you have fun.


Happy Christmas Season from the Asian Single Solution!

Thank you for all your support over the last year.  It’s thanks to you that we’ve grown even bigger and better and we’ll continue to do so in 2012.

In fact, our January events are already on sale so do book them.  Remember that the start of a new year is always the busiest time for dating, as people make resolutions to meet someone.

So take it easy and enjoy the break.   Make sure you wrap up warm as the snow will probably be here soon :)

Best Wishes,

James and Paul

November Feedback and Success Stories

Tuesday, December 13th, 2011

Our Success stories continue to roll in.

Here is just some of the November Feedback.

“Good. I enjoyed the events although I eventually met someone through your website. Thanks” CM

“Great, found the girl of my dreams!” VC

“Really enjoyed the site, really happy with the guy that I met .” SM

“Parties organised are a good way of meeting a range of people, without the necessary pressure of speed dating if not required on the night…..” GL

“Great website! I shall be back” KM

“I met the guy on the 7th of may in London at one of your events for the first time and the last time. Thank you so much” DB

“Excellent…I’ve met many good friends through this site.” RK

“Couldn’t fault it. Was good.” RB

“Thanks for the service you have provided! The website was a very good tool to meet new people.Keep up the good work!” DP

“”Think the site is great”  GB

“I think this service is great for those that have found someone ! Keep it up !” PC

“Great events, thank you.” KP

“I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for this service which helped me find someone” SP

“Very good site” MK

“Well organised. Keep up the good work” AK

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single Feed back : Very good” BL

“Very well organised event” SM

“I met through an alternative route but have to say your site is superb” NS

“Good service and have already recomended many friends who are now on this site and will continue to recomend ”  MM

“Fresh modern service for like minded individuals” SR

“I thought the events were good fun, nice people. Thank you for your help” SV

“Nice venue; well run; friendly people. Staff excellent” MB

“I thought the event went well. It was a good venue and in a good central location, the staff were helpful and overall I was pleased.” IQ

“Good service from site staff” SK

Remember, we want to hear your success stories too.  It really does help inspire our other members to keep going.  If you have your own, please email it to [email protected]


James and Paul

Our latest Success Story

Monday, December 5th, 2011

Congratulations to Amit and Shilpa.

They met from our site and are now a couple.

We love hearing all your success stories, so please do let us know if you make a match!

Here is what our latest couple, Shilpa and Amit have to say about :

“Although we were at the same school found to have mutual contacts and even found that our parents knew each other from back in the days we met through After a few messages and emails we decided to meet up and clicked straight away. Since I’ve met Amit we’ve been inseparable. We would like to take this opportunity to thank you and your team for making it possible for the two of us to finally meet. ”

Our site really does work – you just have to take the first steps.

If you’ve got your own success story please let us know and we’ll send you a bottle of champagne to celebrate!  Email us at [email protected]

Happy dating,


James Preece – The Dating Guru

Height – the long and short of it

Monday, November 28th, 2011

Height is often a very import factor in dating.

But does being taller really get more success?

I often see very tall women wearing high heels at singles parties, then complaining that the men are too short.  So for Asian men, it can be tough to find a match. I really don’t think that someones height should be an issue.  Do a few inches here or there make that much of a difference if you’ve got chemistry?  Of course, if you are a very tall women then you are going to find it more difficult to date if you are seeking someone significantly taller than you.

So why are taller men in such great demand and do the facts back it up?

There’s a thought process that taller men are perceived as more sexually attractive and likely to produce more children. Interestingly enough,  men seem to prefer shorter women.  Those under 5ft 3 are statistically more likely to be married than those of average height or more. So that’s why men and women haven’t evolved to be the same height.

A study this week showed that women who marry men of average height are more likely to have children.  This goes against all previously held beliefs and could perhaps dispel the myth that tall men are more likely to be better breeders.  The suggestion was that this could be that men of average height tend to get married sooner than others.  So the longer you’ve been married then the more chance of having kids.

It’s an interesting study.  What do you think about it all?  We’d like to hear your thoughts, so please do add a comment on this blog.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Dating Guru’s Mailbag – Flirting

Monday, November 21st, 2011

Here’s another question for the Dating Guru

Is Flirting bad?

“Dear James, I’ve also been brought up to believe that flirting is manipulative and deceiving.  Therefore I make a point of avoiding it. What do you think about it all? ”


Many thanks for your question.  I love to try and help as many Asian Single Solution members as possible. I’ve head other people wondering about this same subject.

First of all, flirting is certainly not about trying to manipulate anyone.  It’s about making them feel good and making their day just a little bit better.  It’s not about trying to be someone you aren’t, but rather about relaxing and enjoying life a little more.  Everyone can flirt – just look at any baby or toddler and watch how they get attention.  However, it’s something many of us forget as we grow up.

Flirting is an essential part of dating and without it you’ll really struggle to come across as warm and friendly.  It’s all about being playful and interacting with the other person in a gentle and entertaining way.

If you’d like any help with flirting, then get in touch with me directly and perhaps we can arrange a one to one coaching session.

Alternatively, if you have your own dating related question that you’d like me to answer then please do drop me a line at the email address below.   The best questions will be answered right here in this blog.

Happy dating!

James Preece  – The Dating Guru

[email protected]

The Ex Factor

Sunday, November 13th, 2011

Are you letting your partners ex get in the way?

Stop making this big dating mistake!


We’ve all got a dating past.  So why do so many people allow it cause problems and get in the way of new relationships?

The biggest issue is that it’s easy to feel second best and to compare yourself to their ex.  You might wonder if you are good enough or if they might come back on the scene and spoil things.

Remember that if they still wanted to be together then they would be. But they aren’t and your partner has chosen to be with you.  So you’ve won the prize.  What’s the point in feeling you have to continue to compete?

The only time a conversation about an ex is useful is when you talk about what went wrong.  If you find out the reason they broke up then you can avoid making the same mistakes.  We all do things wrong but the big secret is to learn from them and not repeat the same errors.
Good luck!


James Preece – The Dating Guru


Latest Feedback and Success Stories October 2011

Sunday, November 6th, 2011

Here are our latest batch of success stories from late September to October 2011. If you have your own please let us know so we can share it!


“I have met the love of my life on this site and will be soon marrying her.” VC

“It was great! very informative, regular updates and I would recommend it to anyone” MP

“The services are good, honestly well done!” QC

“I met someone on your dating site. Thank you:-)”  VN

“Just want to say a biggg thank you to the site as i have met the most amazing gentleman alive …!”  CP

“It is a really good site. Keep up the good work :)” NS

“Excellent website”  TG

“”Brilliant service…will recommend” SH

“Well organised and good varation of age groups” SN

“I cant say much about the site as the first person i met on your site is the person im with :o) Thanks” AM

“Good. Easy to use website with some interesting features. Thanks” DP

“Enjoyed the event very much”  SW

“I thought that the staff from Asian Single Solution on the night were extremely friendly, helpful and proactive” PP

“Very easy set up and enjoyed meeting new people” NP

“I just wanted to say thank you to the staff for a great evening.  They were really helpful and the event was extremely well run. I would definately recommend it to my friends” MA

“Thanks for your hospitality I’ll tell my friends about this site inshalla…:)” HO

“My first speed dating /dating event. It was a real party. I totally enjoyed it.” JD

“Was my first event and loved it, would definitely do others” LC

“Brilliant site” NN

“Very good service. Will definitely recommend to friends” JB

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single. Feed back : great site, thanks.” TB

“I met someone at one of your events, and am no longer single. Feed back : absolutely fantastic. keep up the good work” MO

“Good service, thank you – met some nice people” SK

“The overall service for this website, has been very helpful.” MV

“Very good site, i have met someone perfect”  BH

“Nice people on the site and friendly. Your welcome staff are also very good at the events”  MM

“Out of all the dating sites I have been a member of this is far the best. thank you for helping me find what I was looking for! I have found the perfect person, and I have recommended this site to many of my singles friends, young and old! thank you once again, all the best” KT

Giving out Signals

Monday, October 31st, 2011

Sometimes it’s hard to pick up whether someone is interested.

But are you picking up the wrong signals?


Dating can be quite complicated at times. How do you know if a date is going well or if it’s time to make your excuses and leave?

Everyone has heard about basic body language and we are constantly ( even subconciously) searching for indicators of interest.

If you want to be able to tell if someone is interested, then it’s not as easy as looking for a flick of their hair, lick of their lips or the way their feet are pointed.  If they laugh at your jokes are they being polite or do they genuinely find you funny?  Or perhaps they are laughing at you or just because they are a little nervous?

The ony way you can really find out what’s going on is to communicate.  If you like someone then let them know.  If you aren’t keen then let them down gently.  Don’t string them out or keep them hanging for ever.  Mixed signals are a waste of time and confusing for everyone.

Yes, body language can offer clues but you must look for a selection of them in quick succession.  Folded arms might show they are bored, but they could just be cold.  However, if they are yawning and looking into the distance too then it’s pretty obvious you should up your game fast!  A chain of positive body language signals might reveal things are looking up.
Good luck!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

Happy Diwali!

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

The Asian Single Solution would like to wish all our members a Happy Diwali.

We wish you and your family a very happy Diwali & prosperous new year.

May all your wishes in love, wealth, health & happiness be fulfilled.

James and Paul

Match made in heaven?

Monday, October 24th, 2011

Matchmaking software and tests are popular right now

But do they really work?

Matchmaking software aims to examine members’ core beliefs and characteristics to give them a reliable idea of the type of people they should be dating to get a long lasting relationship.   I was recently asked about my thoughts on this so I thought I’d share them here.

I believe that this sort of profiling might well be useful, but is most probably flawed due to two well know psychological effects.

Barnum Effect:  The problem with any form of test is that people are rarely honest about themselves.  The Barnum (or Forer effect) is the idea that individuals will give high accuracy ratings to descriptions of their personality that they believe are specifically for them, but are in fact general enough to apply to a variety of different people.  Sof if you give someone the results of a personality profile then they’ll choose to accept the bit they likes or overlook the ones they don’t.

Placebo Effect:  If you tell someone that they have been matched with the very latest state of the art findings then they’ll subconsciously find themselves working hard to fill in the gaps.  This may or may not be a good thing. On one hand, they’ll put more of an effort into making a relationship work.  On the other it doesn’t really matter whether your matches are real not not.

I really don’t know how accurate these tests really are.  From my experience,  the secret of successful dating is all about chemistry.  There are obviously certain things that are vital when it comes to matching.  This could be religion, race, age etc.  However , most people have relatively open mind and will surprised by who they actually really do get on with.

So, what do you think about all this?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Best Wishes,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Would you go on a double date?

Monday, October 10th, 2011

Is double dating twice the fun?

Or does it make it twice as difficult?

It’s an interesting predicament that most singles find themselves in from time to time.  You and a friend both have dates lined up and you think it might be a good idea to meet them at the same time. After all, there’s more fun in a group isn’t there?

Of course, this type of scenario comes with it’s own set of problems that you wouldn’t get on a one to one night out.

What if one of your fancies your friend’s date instead?  Who decides where to go?

On the plus side, more people means more conversation and less chance of it drying up.

The reality is that it’s only ever going to work if you are all quite similar in personality. Otherwise one person will dominate the conversation or another might be too shy and let everyone else do the talking.

My advice is to give it a go every once in a while, just to spice your dating life up a bit.   You can get feedback from your friend after the event and see how you think each other did. They are likely to give you an honest answer and you can discuss your next step.  You never know, you might even learn a thing or two.  Just make sure you pay attention to YOUR date and don’t flirt with the other person.

Double dating can work byt don’t make a habit of it as you won’t get to know someone properly if you aren’t on your own.   You don’t need anyone else to hold your hand!

If you’ve got a funny or interesting double date story then please email it to me at   [email protected]

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

The Date Finder App?

Monday, October 3rd, 2011

Mobile phones are becoming increasingly more powerful.

With power comes new ways to help you with dating.

The latest of these is a new app for the IPhone that helps you locate other singles in your area using the GPS tracker on your phone .  The idea is that you would have a dating profile (and photo), turn it on and then you could pinpoint any matches within walking distance. So rather than mess around with online dating, you would know who is single instantly and be able to go up and say hello there and then.

Do you think this is something that the Asian Single Solution should introduce?  Would you find it useful?

My own gut feeling is that this would rather take the fun and mystery out of dating.  After all, the fun is with the initial flirtation and the whole “getting to know each other” process before you meet.  That way you can get the build up, the butterflies and the anticipation – which help create the chemistry and attraction.  If you have to resort to an app then you’ll lose the mystery.  All you’ll be left with is random strangers trying to come and chat you up.  This might be good for some people, but if you don’t have the confidence to walk up and say hello in the first place then nothing is going to change that.  If you CAN talk to strangers, then you won’t need an app in the first place.

Here’ s a question I’d like your help with.  If you could have the PERFECT dating app on your phone, what features would you like it to have?  Would it be something to help you get more dates?  Or perhaps to improves the dates you already have?

Please post your thoughts and comments here please.

Happy dating!


James Preece – The Dating Guru

Follow up to our Birthday party

Monday, September 26th, 2011

Our Asian Birthday was a big success.

Thank you for helping us celebrate.

This month the Single Solution celebrates it’s 9th year of operation.  On Saturday we had a our Asian birthday party and we were delighted that it was packed out with 200 guests.

Here are a few of the photos so you can get a feel of the event.

We were delighted to welcome back Scott and his delicious Chocolate Fountain.

DJ Titch also went down a storm as usual, entertaining everyone with his music.

Thank you to everyone for your continued support.  We plan to make things even bigger and better so please do help spread the word.

James and Paul

August Success stories and Feedback

Monday, September 19th, 2011

August was another fantastic month for us.

Here are some of the success stories and feedbacks we had across the Single Solution sites.


“I’d like to take this opportunity to express how much I’ve enjoyed using the site and associated events, and the ongoing success it brings me in my dating life.” KT

“I have finally met the perfect one. Thanks for the help” DG

“Good site and the chat facility is a nice option to have.” AC

“Service is good and I enjoyed the speed dating event I went to.” KP

“Thanks for everything” TV

“Good website and genuine profiles” CG

“I think it is a good service and may use this service in the future.”  RP

“Worked for me! Been with my partner that I met on the website for almost a year now. Thanks.” PS

“The one event I attended was interesting and well organised” BS

“Thanks for a good service” RH

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single. Feed back : A very good site.” RB

“I thought the site was good, and spoke with a couple of interesting people,I’d recommend it.” AA

“I’m no longer single. I thought the events were great though, especially the ice breaker so keep up the good work.” PS

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single. Feed back : very very good.” DK

“Easy to use, good website” PK

“Good: Speed dating was enjoyable – great skill building! Venue: Pleasant, classy. Staff: Friendly. Website: Excellent and easy. Met a few interesting women and made good friends with at least 3; still dating two of them.” KT

“You provide a good service and have enjoyed the events I have been to” TT

“I think the website is really good” SJ

“Icebreakers are good to get even the nervous going. Keep it going you’re doing a good job.” AP

“Good mix of people, nice venue” RC

“Excellent servive…great customer service.. many thanks..ajay” AM

“Good site, easy to use.” SP

“Your site is very good, i did meet some interesting potential partners” GS



How to talk to a woman

Monday, September 12th, 2011

Women and Men both think differently.

So make sure you know what to discuss on a date.


1) Talk about family as women want a man who is close to them. It shows stability, loyalty and a kind nature.

2) If you’ve got a pet, children or nieces/nephews/god children then talk about them – women want to know that you’ll make a good possible father to their future kids.

3) Don’t bring up past relationships, but talk about the future instead. Keep discussions positive.

4) It’s important that you talk about what you are passionate about. By doing so you will naturally get enthusiastic and this will rub off on your date.

5) LISTEN to her own dreams and passions and show that you are interested in them too.

6) Don’t try and offer advice if she talks about a problem.  She doesn’t want a solution, just the chance to air her thoughts.

7) If you are looking for a serious relationship then now is the time to ask them if they want the same. If not, don’t waste any more time.

8) If you want to know what women like to talk about, just buy some female magazines.  Keep up with pop culture and showbiz gossip and you’ll never be stuck for words.

9) Men like to talk about facts and figures but this just bores women.  So instead, paint pictures with your words.

10)  Most importantly, show them you are interested by whatever they have to say.


Do you have your own thoughts on this?  Ladies, what would you like a man to talk about?  What should they avoid?

Happy dating!
James Preece – the Dating Guru

Would you like some free champagne?

Monday, September 5th, 2011

We’ve got some nice cold bottles waiting for some of you.


Read this to find out more

We love getting success stories and we get them each and every day.  We always post the best ones to our blog, along with our latest feedback.

Recently we’ve heard about lots of marriages through our site, so we are pretty sure there are even more that we’ve not been told about yet.

If you have your own success story, then please do tell us about it so we can share this with our other members. By telling your story you can give other dating members a welcome boost in their search and confirming to everyone that our service really does works!

If you give us a quote and email us over a photograph of the pair of you we’ll send you a bottle of champagne ( or a High Street gift voucher if you prefer)

To qualify, you will need to have been dating at least 2 months.

So get in touch now and share the love.


Happy dating,


James and Paul

Our Latest Asian Single Solution Wedding

Thursday, August 25th, 2011

We asked for success stories and we got inundated!

We’re delighted to tell you about another wedding.

“Hey I met my wife on this site and we’ve been married 7 weeks now. Please find some photos for your website”

So don’t give up, there really is someone out there for everyone.  Keep on using the site and you could be the next Asian Single Solution success story. But please, make sure you let us know!


James and Paul

The best way to break up with someone

Sunday, August 21st, 2011

How do you end a relationship that’s not working?

Text, Phone Call, Email or in Person?

You won’t fall in love with everyone that you date so sometimes you have to bite the bullet and end it.  It’s the fairest thing to do as you’ll be setting them free to meet someone more compatible.  In today’s modern age there are many ways you can end it using different technologies, but you shouldn’t always take the easiest way out for you.   Remember their feelings and the effect it will have on them.

I’ll be writing about exactly what you should say in a future blog, but today I’m going to tell you the etiquette as to HOW to go about it.

Here’s my quick guide to the correct way that you should end it:

1)  You’ve not dated,  just emailed, texted, phone calls etc.
This is the easiest of all as you’ve not had enough time to really get to know each other.  Therefore it’s perfectly fine to end it however you wish.  This could be a text or a phone call.

2) Just one date.

If you’d definitely decided that you don’t want to see them again then a text or email will do.    While I’d always suggest attempting a second date if there’s the slightest spark, I know the reality is that you won’t like everyone you meet.  So there’s no point meeting them again just to let them down.  The best way is a quick email or text the next day letting them down gently.

3) A short term relationship – 2 – 4 dates

This is where is starts to get complicated.   If things haven’t been intense, then a short email should be fine.  If the dates have been passionate then you really ought to give them a quick phone call.

4) A long term relationship – more than 4 dates

Any more than 4 dates means things are getting serious and you might even have slept together by now.  For this reason you absolutely HAVE to end it in person.  The only exception would be if there is a distance barrier.  Tell them you need to talk and stop any indication that you are interested in them.  By this I mean don’t put kisses on the end of emails or tell them you are missing them – otherwise it will complicate matters when they try to understand everything.

However you end it, it’s important that you DO let them know about it.  This might sound an odd thing to say, but many people think it’s better to just disappear and not reply to phone calls, emails, texts.  Treat the other person with respect and the same way you’d like to be treated.  Read my blog on the “Ghost Date” for more info on this!

Good luck,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

P. s  What are thoughts on how to end a relationship?

Another Wedding plus July Success Stories

Monday, August 15th, 2011

July Success Stories and Feedback

We were delighted to hear about yet another Asian Single Solution wedding.

This was between Rikki and Amrit who met through us last year.

They’ve sent us this very amusing video of their first wedding dance on Youtube if you’d like to search for it.


“Great and think your site is brilliant!” PS

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single Feed back : GREAT SITE” DP

“Good website that clearly had thought about the user and what they would want to see.” AM

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single. Feed back : Great service!” NT

“I think you guys are doing a great job” AJ

“It is one of the better sites I have used. Very user friendly.” RH

“Great! I went to a few of your events and finally met the man of my dreams! Thanks for your excellent service.” DL

“I enjoyed the site. thank you” CK

“My favourite evening and I’ve done about 7 with you. Yes – a resounding success. Well done. I thought the guy leading the team was excellent, only matched by the northern blonde girl who used to lead at Waterloo Brasserie.” MB

“Relaxed atmosphere and accesible staff and nice to have some refreshments.” SF

“Great site” VB

“Very good” RP

“Very good, clear service and website.” VK

“Whilst I was with you, the services were brilliant.” AM

“The site is a good way to meet and communicate.” AP

“Very good, the staff are extremally friendly at the events!” KB

“Very good events.” RB

“Your services were a great help. Thanks” SP

“Hey I met my wife on this site, my username was deleted just after we met. Two years we met, and we’ve been married 7 weeks now” SB

“Service is great fast and efficient as expected” RD

“Excellent service and regular updates.Thank you” SK

“The site is very well set up” MR

“The events have been wonderful especially the saturday night ones and i have met some very nice people from it” AS

“Never thought i’d meet anyone this way just signed up not expecting much and met someone straight away!”  NA

“The services are very well organised and good fun!” KS

“Appreciate all the help this site has given me…thanks” SP

“Very useful to engage with various types of people.” HK

“User friendly. Great Idea!” PM

“The events are great.”  ML






The Power of Positivity

Monday, August 8th, 2011

It’s often hard to stay positive when it comes to dating

So today I’m going to teach you how to boost it.

The power of self-talk is amazing.  If you tell yourself you can do something or tell yourself you can’t, then you are always going to be right.  So the secret is to only tell yourself positive things that will change things for the better.

To help, here are some of my favourite positive phrases.  If you want to feel happier, spend a few minutes each day saying them over and over to yourself.  The more you tell yourself these things then the more likely your brain will make them stick and adjust accordingly:

“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”

“I choose to be kind to myself.”

“A dream written down with a date becomes a GOAL. A goal broken down into steps becomes a PLAN. A plan backed by ACTION makes your dream come true.”

“It’s better to invest time doing what pleases you, rather than to waste time trying to please everyone else.”

“Every advance in human life begins with an idea in the mind of a single person.”

“I am open to new possibilities.”

“Every great leap forward in life is preceded by a clear decision and a commitment to action.”

“I can figure it out”.

“It is possible, if I am willing to put in the time and effort”

“I make choices and decisions based
on my goals and dreams.”

You could even try to include some similar phrases in to your online dating profile.  They’ll make you come across as a happy, positive person so you’ll automatically get more interest.

Good luck!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

Don’t give up!

Monday, August 1st, 2011

Have you had enough of dating?

Are you worried you might never meet someone?

Dating can sometimes be difficult and it even become frustrating if you aren’t getting want you want out of it.

My message to you is this:  Don’t throw in the towel yet!

Sometimes it might take 20  or 30 dates before you meet Mr or Miss Right,  or it might be very next person you go out with.   But what if they were number  31 and you gave up at 30?  You’d never know how close you might have come to meeting your dream partner.

Here’a an interesting comparison that I’ve been thinking about recently. Thomas Edison tried a 1000 ways to get a light bulb to work and all of them failed. Some didn’t work. Some just flashed and dies and some only lasted a few minutes. He made notes on every case. Eventually, he got one to work long enough that it would make sense to make it for sale to the public..

He didn’t see this as a thousand failures, but as a way of getting closer to the result he wanted.  His famous quote is:

“We now know a thousand ways not to build a light bulb.”

There’s a definite lesson to be learned here – for every date that doesn’t work out you are one step closer to the one that will!

Once you are in the right frame of mind for dating and take steps to get what you want then it WILL happen.

Just think what would have happened if Edison hadn’t invented the light bulb.  We’d be sitting here in the dark.

So don’t give up just yet. Put some effort into putting an effective plan together, attend some dating events and take full advantage of our online dating site.  The love of your life might just be a click away.

Good luck,


James Preece – The Dating Guru

Sounds good?

Monday, July 25th, 2011

Your voice is one of your most important dating tools

But are you using it to your advantage?

Our voices are something we all take for granted and therefore we don’t give them much thought.  But you really need to be aware of how you sound.

I’ve known people to get lots of interest via online dating but then completely blow it when they start speaking on the telephone.

1)  Record your voice and play it back.  Most mobile phones will have a facility to do this. Many people are surprised as to what they sound like as we hear things differently to the way other people do. This is all because of the way sound echoes and resonates in your head.

2) Pay attention to the way you sound.  Are you speaking too softly, loudly, fast or mumbling?  The slower and clearer you speak then the better you’ll come across.  Succesful people always leave people hanging on their next word.

3) Copy someone you know.  This can be a film star, politician or a tv personality.  Find someone that you know members of the opposite sex find attractive.  For example, Sean Connery and Mariella Frostrup are two very popular voices.  When you’ve worked out who you want to sound out then listen to them as much as you can.  Take what you like and discard the rest.

4) Perfect it!     Pick up a newspaper or a book and practice reading it out loud.   Try to do it slowly and make it interesting. Imagine you are reading to someone you are attracted to. Paint pictures with your words and you’ll soon be able to do this naturally.

5) Use it.   Once you’ve mastered the technique then use it as much as you.  This can be on the phone to sales people, in supermarkets or anytime you want to stand out.


Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Do you stand out from the crowd?

Monday, July 18th, 2011

If you want to succeed in dating you need to stand out.

But just make sure it’s not for the wrong reasons!

Online dating sites, like the Asian Single Solution, are filled with thousands and thousands of members.  They are so spoilt for choice that it can sometimes all the profiles can seem to blend into one.  Otherwise you won’t get noticed and you won’t meet anyone.  So you’ll need to work hard to make sure you get seen.

The trouble is, some people stand out but they just don’t realise it.

You might think that adding a photo of you looking “cool” in sunglasses, posing with a group of models or looking mean and moody will get you messages.  The truth is that this rarely works.  No, girls don’t want to see you standing next to a car and no, men don’t want to see you falling over drunk with a cocktail in your hand.

THIS about the message and image you are portraying. Do you want to be seen as warm, friendly, happy and good dating material?  Then smile in your photo and you’ll be seen as all those things.

Be careful with what you write in your profile too.  Don’t go on about negative things or talk about the things you don’t want. You’ll come across as a whiner and will quickly get crossed off any favourites lists.

Spelling mistakes, text talk and bad grammar just make you look like a loser who can’t be bothered to write properly.

The golden rule is to be make sure you are proactive.  No matter how good ( or bad!) your profile is, if you aren’t sending out messages to the people you are interested in then you won’t get results.  They’ll just never find you.

Top Tip: Log in every day and you’ll be listed at the stop of searches. This is the best way to get noticed.


Happy dating,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Avoiding Online Dating Cliches

Tuesday, July 12th, 2011

Many people keep writing the same dull things in their profiles.

So today I’ll tell you what to avoid.

Every week I get to see thousands of new profile and it’s odd how many all say exactly the same thing.  In this blog I’ll reveal the most common things I see , in the hope you won’t write the same thing.  These are five of the most common Online Dating Cliches that people write:

1) “I don’t know what I’m doing on an online dating site.”  This just makes you sound arrogant. By writing this you are suggesting that you are far too good to be on the site and what a hardship it is.  As well as this you are insulting every other member on there too!

2) “I don’t know what write” or “I’m not sure what to say.”   So you are indecisive and boring right?   Of course you aren’t….so never write this.  Instead carefully write something that will peak their interest and make you sound like someone they’d like to meet.  Work out what’s special about you and tell the world.

3) “My friends and family are important to me.”  Isn’t this really just stating the obvious? Friends and family are important to everyone.  It would be much more worrying and abnormal if they weren’t!

4) “No time wasters/ players/ etc”     This gives the impression that you’ve had some bad experiences in the past and are therefore judging all people before you’ve given them a chance. It’s doubtful that anyone would ever admit to being a time waster anyway.

5) “I’m open minded”   While most people write this with the intention that they have no expectations when it comes to dating, the reality is that it comes across as if you looking for a casual relationship.


Try and be a bit more creative, and you’ll have a dynamic , interesting profile that will help you stand out from all the other singles.

Good luck,

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Your halfway dating review

Monday, July 4th, 2011


Can you believe that it’s nearer 2012 than the start of 2011?

It’s a great time to reflect on your dating goals.

So how have things been going for you?  If you’ve not had many dates then it’s not too late to do something about it.  The first step is just to take action.

As we head towards the Summer you’ll discover it’s actually a fantastic time to meet people.

The weather is generally warmer, the nights are longer and people are often in a “holiday” frame of mind.  This means they are more relaxed, sociable and open to dating.

So here are some great ways you can boost your dating.  They are all easy enough to do if only you set aside the time to make the happen.

1) Online Dating.  These online dating sites get a big increase in traffic over the Summer as more people are actively searching for someone to spend the long nights with.  Take a little time to work on your profile and start contacting anyone that takes your interest.

2) Get a new outfit.  You’ll want to look your best, so why not go out and update your summer wardrobe.  Ask a friend of the opposite sex to go shopping with you, so you can find out they might find attractive.

3) Meet up with your friends.    Why not arrange a picnic, walk or BBQ with your closest friends?  You could ask everyone to bring someone new so you’ll end up meeting lots of new people. Even if they aren’t suitable for you to date they might know some perfect contacts who are.

4) Try some Summer Events and Festivals.  There are many open air events this time of year and everyone will be in a great mood.  This can be melas, film screenings, concerts or even one of our very own Asian Single Solution Singles parties.


Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Top 5 Reasons why our Asian Dating parties work

Monday, June 27th, 2011

We know that our members love our singles parties.

Here are five of the best reasons why you should come and meet them.

1) High quality guests.  Our Muslim dating site is aimed at British born, Asian Muslim professionals. As such, the calibre is very high and everyone is there to genuinely meet someone for a relationship or marriage.

2) Friendliest Staff. We hire the best hosts in the business.  There are warm, approachable, knowledgeable and there to help YOU. If you every have a question, need some advice or want some introductions that all you need to do it ask them.

3) The best venues.  We put a lot of effort into making sure that we only use fantastic venues that suit our events.  We make sure that drinks prices are reasonable yet the locations are stylish.  They are always exclusively hired out to us and in easy to get to London locations.

4) Fair prices.  Our events are very affordable and offer excellent value for money.  Most events are usually around the £15 mark and all Premium Members get 50% off the events for them and there friends too. If you meet 20 people then that works out at less than 40p a date!

5) They don’t end once the party is over.  If you attend an event, we give you two weeks to use our online messaging service to contact everyone you met. We don’t have useless tick boxes that restrict who you can email.  Instead, you can view photos and profiles and get the chance to get in touch with anyone that you wish.

Do book an event soon and see why our events our so popular.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

The Photos on your site are not Clear

Friday, June 10th, 2011

Occasionally people ask us why their photos are not clear on the website. Invariably the reason for this is that the original image was of poor quality or low resolution.

Our website offer photos in three sizes as follows. These are pictures of me from an original image that was 1Mb

80x80 Thumbnail as used in search. Typically 9k

Normal Resolution as used in Profile view. 120x120 Pixels. Typically 20k

Enlarged image from Photo Album. 300x300 Pixels. Typically 60k to 80k

As you can see, the enlarged image is 300×300 pixels, and about 90k. So if your original image is of lower resolution than this, say about 60k, then the website is going to struggle to create an image that is 300×300.

Some people upload images that are already compressed, e.g. into thumbnails of 10k. Thumbnails are just for viewing large numbers of images on one page, and are not suitable for uploading.

Here is what happens when I upload the above image, starting as a thumbnail of just 9k.

Thumbnail. Looks OK because its similar size to the original.

Normal size. Starting to look fuzzy because the site had to create an image of 15k, which is larger than the original.

Full size. Looks awful, because the site had to create a 60k image from a 9k original photo


Top Tips

1. Upload images that are at least 100k.  Due to uploading delays, the site will allow images upto 2Mb.

2. If your image is over 2Mb, then you must crop or reduce the size of the file.

3. Remember, your main photo must be a clear headshot.

4. We recommend a selection of photos for your album including a full body shot (not naked!) so people can see what you look like.


Dating Advice by Paul Ergatoudis


Important: Remember our Dress Code

Wednesday, June 1st, 2011

As a professional site, we have a strict dress code for the events.

Please take a moment to read our policy.

We have to enforce our dress code policy at all our events due a few members letting the side down.

Well it’s quite simple really.  Just wear something comfortable that is somewhere between smart, that you might wear to work or to a wedding, and casual pub gear.

The idea is to get noticed and so if you lean towards glamorous, that is fine too and  it’s unlikely that you can over dress as long as you feel comfortable.

We do insist that our guests don’t wear trainers, workboots, t-shirts or shorts.

Guide for Men

For men this might mean, cords, smart non-blue jeans or chinos and casual shirt with a collar but no tie. A jacket is a bonus and may help compensate for blue jeans. Shoe choice is important. Brogues, slip ons or off-black colours such as brown would be perfect but black is fine too. Big no-nos would be trainers, collarless t-shirts,  tracksuits. Anything with a slogan on would be considered too casual. Suit and tie is great if you feel comfortable, but the tie is probably not needed. To ensure you look like you made an effort all clothes should of course be clean and pressed.

Guide for Women

For ladies there is a little more flexibility as ladies have the option to wear less to look sexy, whereas for men, this just isn’t an option. For example if you have the figure for it you’ll look great in a cocktail dress and heels. Most people might opt for a more conservative look with Smart slacks or skirt and blouse. Non-blue jeans are fine but blue jeans are not ideal unless you offset with smart shoes and top. No-nos would be trainers, sports wear or baggy tops with slogans.

These rules apply for our singles parties but also are very important when going out on dates too.  Studies have shown that 70% of singles would chose not to see someone again if they dressed badly on a first date.

We hate turning guests away from events, especially once they’ve already booked and turned up at the venue. So make sure you follow the guidelines here.

These are also the conditions of many of our venues too, which might be smart bars, hotels or restaurants.

Happy dating

James and Paul

How to say hello

Monday, May 23rd, 2011

Chat up lines get a bad reputation.

So how else do you start a conversation?

Sometimes the simplest and best chat up line is just to go up to someone and say “hello.”   The golden rule is to make sure that you smile warmly.  Smile are contagious and they won’t be able to stop themselves smiling back.   It will make you seem like a genuine, nice person as long as you don’t overdo it.   If you don’t smile you’ll just look miserable and they’ll be on their guard.

You can say hello to anyone, anywhere and it doesn’t have to be someone that you fancy.  Why not practice talking to people you meet during your day.  This can be the postman, waitress, person next to you at the supermarket etc.    It takes a little bit of effort to get out of your comfort zone but the more you do the easier it will become.

Don’t forget to have something ready to ask once they’ve said hello back or you’ll find yourself lost.  So ask them a question about what brings them their, tell them you liked something they were wearing or ask their opinion on a suitable subject.  Another great question is to just ask how their day or evening is going.

Once you start chatting you’ll soon fall into natural conversation, so keep up your happy persona and pay lots of attention to what the other person is saying to you.  As a guide, you should be talking for 30% of the time and listening for the other 70%.   Make sure you don’t ask too many questions or you’ll look like a stalker.

After a few minutes chatting you will know if you want to see them again. So if you do, tell them you really enjoyed meeting them ask what steps you should take to do it again properly.  If they are interested they’ll then offer you their contact information.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Who are TSS Events?

Saturday, May 21st, 2011

TSS Events stands for The Single Solution Events, and this is how payments appear on your bank statements.

This is stated in all email receipts, and on the payment pages. A few people have asked us to clarify.

This applies to our websites as follows.


Get a date to open up

Monday, May 16th, 2011

Shyness is very common when it comes to dating

I’d like to show you some tricks to help make people relax.

Almost everyone can feel a bit nervous when it comes to dating and shyness is very common. It can be difficult on a date if someone finds it hard to relax and open up. But there’ s a fantastic technique that you put them at ease quickly.

It’s an tactic but once you begin to use it you’ll see if can be really effective.

All you need to do is to get someone to talk about what they feel passionate about.  The very act of talking about it will make them start to feel happier and positive. When you see their eyes comes to life and you know you’ve hit a strong positive emotion, you just need to tap them discretely on the arm. Keep doing it every now and again but not so much they spot what you are doing. Make sure you touch them in exactly the same place each time. This is a technique called “anchoring” as it helps them to keep the memory. Now all you have to do is tap them in the same place later in the evening and they’ll subconsciously feel the same fantastic feeling once more.

Give it a go and see how it works out for you.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Latest Feedback

Sunday, May 15th, 2011

Here’s a up to date selection of our recent feedbacks.


As promised, we’ll be regularly updating this blog page so you can see the fantastic success rates our customers have:

July 2011

Financially my circumstances have changed. I will still attend events as I have enjoyed them.” MO

“Good service”  RS

“Have met another member from this site, appreciate all the help this site has given me…thanks” SP

“Very useful to engage with various types of people.” HK

“User friendly. Great Idea!” GM

“The events are great.” ML

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single
Feed back : It has been worthwhile joining your site.” DD

“It’s a nice idea and good for busy people” AK

June 2011

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single
Feed back : its good – i am impressed with your updates” RS

“I thought the staff were lovely at the event” TS

“Good professional service.” MH

“I always enjoyed your events and met some lovely people” RH

“Very good service” GP

“Have recommended you to people as I think you provide a great way to meet other singletons” KG

“Site well set up, easy searching” KS

“Extremely helpful”  TD

“Really good…(pages load up quick..some other dating websites take long! really long and puts you off searching)…with this one it’s quicker even through mobile. I would defo recommend this site to a friend. Thank you” AK

“Very good, might be back, thanks.” PS

“Friendly organisers” JB

May 2011

“Met a great gal, thanks for giving chance to meet her.” YB

“The Service is good” AJ

“Its a good service and you should continue helping people get together.” RP

“Thanks for your services :)” MK

“Services are great and I have met someone from the site. Thanks for your help.” SN

“Site is good and easy to use” SD

“Very relaxed, friendly people.” MW

“Right mix of organised and ‘free”,  mingling; ice breakers good idea; friendly staff;speed dating good idea” VL

“Good service, well marketed and great to see constant improvements to the site!” AK

“Site is wonderful” AS

“Services are good – think the chat thing is a great idea.” SP

“Good website and range of options to interact with like minded people.” HK

“Thanks for the great service while I was on the site.” AP

“The events are very good and just right” MA


April 2011

“Good news … when I thought there was no-one left for me in this big cruel, evil world… I met someone very nice from this site. :o) woohoo!!”  JP

“It is a great site, i will be back” JA

“The site is good and offers a nice service, which is proven by the fact that I’ve found someone very special! :o)” DS

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single Feed back : Its been great. Thanks for the experience.” RK

“This is a good site and I will use it again. Thanks” TN

“Was Great !! Had lots of fun and meet some great ladies.” SS

“I think your services are good and can be of help..!!” RM

“Enjoyed the events … now married ! :)” AB

“I met my beautiful boyfriend on here and fingers crossed will go onto something long term. Thank you asian single solution. Brillant way to find people that you may never meet on a day to day basis. xxx”  RJ

“A really good efficient service” GT

March 2011

“Was on your site and saw a wink from a beautiful girl.  I messages her back and we swapped details. Met her for lunch and wow, simply wow.  We clicked and now been a month, with no regrets and plenty of happiness.  All thanks to the site :)”

Our Latest Match

“On a personal level I didnt think this site would work for me and that I would meet an awesome girl who i intend to marry. thanks for all you’ve done!!!! You’ve renewed my faith in a lot of areas…” PV

Raman and Parma


“Met the most amazing man who i intend to marry! Thank you very much :)” RA

“Have met soneone yay great service :)” ST

“The quality of people on the site is good.” VS

“I think this is a really good website for meeting your partner. It has a range of services that i like.” SG

“Great service, keep it up” SP

“The services were good. The events were well organised.” HM

“its a good sevice, its good that this dating site are always doing events for single people, keep up the good work!!” NC

“I think you do a great job and can’t thank you enough as it’s so hard to meet anyone when your working.” SP

“Really good service” UG

“Great Service. Great Events. Thanks” AP

“Very good site & service” MR

“This is a very good dating website for all the asians. But unfortunately, I couldnt benefit of it much. But never the less, appreciate the service. Thanks” RV

“Brilliant!” GK

“I met my perfect partner and want to thank you for this whole entire service. Its awesome I have finally found a lady that is amazing. So a big THANK YOU!!!!!!!” DD

“Got a great result within a month. Thanks. Very professionally run website. Thanks.” SG

“Good site, lots of active members” SR

“I think you have a great site. Didn’t think i will find someone but i did. Thank you. Hope other find someone special like i did.” KS

“Good service!” AP

“Always enjoy events I attend.” MS

“Excellent service thanks a lot” IA

“The events were good and you met different people” MB

“Have had some lovely dates with fab people …wish them luck!” NC

“Excellent events and service, well done!” AP

“Service is Exceptional” TM

“The site is good and I’ve had fun at the events” CS

February 2011

“Very Satisfied” AL

“He was the first guy I met through your dating site and one year later, we have decided to get married! Who would have thought it was possible!!! Thank you…” SA

“Its a good website with nice professionals” VK

“I have been to 3 events now, all well organised and attended by nice people whom I have enjoyed chatting to” PM

“Have been to most of the events in Birmingham, enjoyed meeting like minded people, have made some friends along the way which has been great!”  SR

“Nice crowd; friendly atmosphere” NB

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single. Feed back : Wonderful service”   TA

“Really good site, well done, events were fun in London” PV

“Good customer service, good value and payment options – id recommend the site and always had prompt replies to my queries” MC

“Really good service. Enjoyed meeting new people.” LS

“Thanks guys, met a really nice guy at your wine tasting event last july. It’s all going really well. Thanks Again”  YA

“Always have an excellent time at these events.” FG

“Fab night was had by most I think, so well done guys ” KB

“The event was very enjoyable and a lot more fun then I expected” CO

“Good female/male ratio and good age range and mix of people”  SW

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single. Feed back : this was the second time on this website, deciding to be more proactive and it  worked !”  AD

“Your services and events are extremely fun and well organised” NS

“Great site! definately a hit recommended already to people and look forward to another 3 months” BC

“Good site, events are well planned too.” AP

“Feed back : the website is great!”  FM

“I think the site it very good compared to other sites.” DR

“I have recently met someone on the site and it looks to have the potential of a serious relationship. Thank you very much indeed!” RP

“Great site, service and events” DC

“Great, keep up the good work.” JS

“I have found this website really easy to use and an amazing way of meeting people. Thanks” SC

“I think its a great website!” SP

“Hi I think your service is good and you are definitely very helpful”  SD

“I enjoyed attending the events – great fun” AC

“Thanks for the wonderful events over the last few years” CA



January 2011

“Really good service. Enjoyed meeting new people.” SM

“I have met the man of my dreams” MD

“Good level of service” HP

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single
Feed back : great site thanks!” SS

“The site is very good and I have met several nice people” YB

“Great website, much better than the other, a lot more of a modern approach and seems more aimed at young british asians which is what I was looking for!” SP

“Great site now found what i was looking for!! thank you” DA

“Staff: Really helpful and friendly. General: Intros from hosts great idea!
Website: Easy to use, one of the easiest to use websites I have subscribed to” RP

“Was a very good event, as always. Met a few nice girls, let’s see where they go.” AV

“I just wanted to say the event was really good and what you and your team do is amazing. I liked the way you helped us mingle with people too” MP

“Great site – keep up the good work!” LD

“Great site!” MH

“Excellent website and people” MO

“I think its a great idea. I enjoyed the event I attended.” AG

“Overall pretty good. Well organised and good venues.” SM

“Very good service offered” KN

“Attended the speed dating events and found them to be well organised and fun, better than some of the things offered by competitors.” SG

“The website proved successfull and I have met someone through you. Thank you” AP

“I found your events were a good tool to bring together attractive and successful asian’s”  JS

December 2010

“I went to 2 events and thought they were really well run, I had a good time and found the experience very friendly and would recommend them them to friends” WP

“The website is really good and useful, thank you so much” SP

“I think you guys are great ! I am happy to be with you” VN

“Very good. never thought I would meet an amazing woman on a dating site.” TB

“Great evening as ever…………venue and mix of genders was about right and food was approved by all!”  BF

Had a great time, it was a good night thanks, and it was very relaxed and there was man for each woman J nice people too and it was nice to meet you you guys” CA

It has been useful to get in touch with people I wouldn’t meet every day” AM

“Very impressed with the service!” HS

“Resourceful site to have for the current generation.” KT

“Excellent service..met someone amazing and hoping he’s ‘the one’ :)” AS

“I thought that the events were good and organised really well. Thank you” AP

“I liked the venue and the relaxed atmosphere at the beginning of the event. It was good to meet and talk to new people. It was the first time I have ever been to anything like this and I was pleasantly surprised.” PM

November 2010

“Have attended 2 events and thought they were very well organised and good venues.”  WP

“Good way of meeting people and nice to have a datingguru for advice.”  DG

“Thanks for a very well organised event which made me feel very safe as the staff were available all night to help.  That was great.” JM

“The service was a really good way of meeting like minded people.” HG

“Very good events and nice website” GS

“Service was great” SM

“Definatley a great service for those older age groups having lost their confidence somewhere along the road of love” JM

“I found your website a great help.” JA

“The event I attended was great! keep up the great work!” JT

“The event had a variety of people to talk to with just the right age range for me.” BP

“Good, easy way of meeting people” SP

“I met a girl at your event on the 26th june and fell in love with her” MC

“Really good website better then the others!”  SS

“I think the services are very good, the times I have been to the events have been most enjoyable and well organised.” HD

“Very useful for starting a network of friends.” BK

“Good fun as ever” FW

“Thank you for hosting a very nice evening on Saturday ” PH

October 2010

“Just to let you know I went to an SS do on Oct 22nd 2008 and I married the girl I met that night on September 18th this year” SK

“It was great to have the canapes and chocolate fountain” NL

“Just want to tell you that I enjoyed very much the last event at the Abbey was good the music excellent good food” CP

“Thank you for a good evening. It’s quite daunting turning up to any event, but it was easy and fun.” JW

“Your event was fabulous for meeting a lot of men in a short space of time”  ML

“Thank you for a great party last night” BF

“Very good balance of men to women; reasonable food; nice atmosphere”  CP

“The site is fantastic. The first guy I met turned out to be the one :-)” EF

“Just wanted to say how good the magician was at last event ,very clever, and very subtle at bringing people together, great entertainment”  PH

Sep 2010

“Professional attitude of the staff and the Gathering makes it a better place to spend your time. Even if you don’t get your date, I assure you will get good Friends. My Personal Recommendation, Go for it.” VL

“I was quite impressed with your events and have reccomended it to my other single friends” AM

“It took a long time and a few dates, but just as I was giving up I met someone on this site… Not sure where it goes or what the outcome will be but I’ve got a GREAT feeling!!” AA

“I met a wonderful young lady on this site – we clicked straight away and now she is expecting our first child” AB

“The atmosphere was good and the speed dating element was cool for me” SJ

“Venue was great and so was the evening” SM

August 2010

“The event was very well organised and the crowd was very friendly – speed dating was very interesting and a lot of fun!! I am definitely looking forward to the next one!!” DS

“Very good site and service! Will recomend it.” SB

“It’s a great website, am happy with the services provided” MM

“The event was good fun and well organised.” LN

“Very professionally run site. It’s a very well presentedand very user friendly” MO

“It’s a good site, great for young professionals!” LW

“Thank you, the event was great, really had a good time.” BC

“The events I went to where superb” KD

“I met Jo at my first and only event in 2007 (oct comedy night in soho) and we are getting married next July”

“We had a connection, passion & love for each other & he has accepted my children unconditionally. Thank you!” AM

July 2010

“I have met the love of my life and we are getting married next year. Thank you very very much for creating this website through which I met HIM. Many Thanks” JG

“I met someone on your dating site. If you want to find the one never stop looking no matter how you are feeling… you never know when you may find the one… I cried once I realised I had the one I needed in my life… XXXX” AM

I think it was extremeley well organised and found the people there were very approachable.” JA

After attending a few Single Solutions functions, I met a wonderful guy this Spring. We are both very happy and would recommend this website to our singleton friends.It brings like minded souls together not only via online dating but at fun events too. Everyone desires someone special in their life and we wouldlike to thank Single Solutions for bringing us together”  VN

“Your services were good and I have now found someone. Thank you!” SM

I enjoyed the event- good ratio of men to women- and managed to get a number and a date fixed up too. Result!” PI

“Loved the events in Brum, met some nice people and even dated one for 9 months” HP

“Thank you all so much for helping me meet my match. We have now been together for three months and its lovely. We both thank you so very much for helping us meet one another” MM

“Friendly staff and good events to complement the site.  It’s good to meet real people” JP

“Very good service. Met some very nice people on this site. Thanks.” HP

“I think this is a great site! Combining online profiles with events is a great idea. Keep it up!!” BS

“Great service! Have met someone on your site and we have decided to be exclusive!” MD

June 2010

“Hi Paul / James and team I think your site is great, helpful and easy to use. I have found my match after so long and thank you all so much for making this happen!” MN

“Honestly speaking, I feel what you guys have done with SS, and achieved with your brand (for what its worth) – is awesome, overall” SM

“Thanks a ton for creating a sit exclusively for Asians as I believe that is a good way to meet like minded Asians.” AM

May 2010

“Great site – recommended to friends” CL

“A fine service to humanity !” AM

“Great venue, relaxed atmosphere, good guests, helpful staff” MV

“The service was brilliant, I got to know alot of nice people who are now mates” MA

I had a really enjoyable time on Sat.  Much more so than anticipated I might add!” RK

“The magician was brilliant and you should give him more work!” AD

“Thank you for all your support, it was really good being with you..” HM

“Very good site and well organised events” BP

“Venue was right size for turn out, good facilities. Great music and good bar service.” NN

“The event was great. The Ice breaker with the cards worked really well and the staff were really friendly and helpful. It exceeded my expectation and was a light relaxed friendly environment. ” HS

“Excellent. one of the best sites on the web” SR

April 2010

“I would just like to let you know that I met my now husband not last October but the one before last at one of your events. We had a wonderful wedding on April 7th. We are eternally grateful to the singlesolution for bringing us  together. Long live the Singlesolution!

“I thoroughly enjoyed Saturday’s party which was the first I’d attended for some time” MW

“Just to let you know I am seeing someone who I met through the website!” HP

“Good Services and has helped me to find someone with my busy lifestyle”  SC

“Pretty good, as I managed to find my man on the site!” SP

“I really enjoyed using this site and found it great to meet some prospective partners. Thanks and keep up the great work.”  IM

“I think your parties are great, probably the best of all the singles parties – I would recommend them to my single friends – wishing you continued success.” SH

March 2010

“You guys rock!” BP

“Great site.. met a few very decent guys on your site whom I am now friends with. would definitely come back if iI was single again. Thank you!” DN

“This is a very good service and I have recommended to many of my single friends” HD

“Well organised and very civilised events” PK

“I went to your valentine event and all the staff, the organisation, let me say, was brilliant. Thank you again, and will keep you posted!” MM

“I think you are on to a good thing with this whole website.  The turnout was marvellous on Sat despite the transport probs..
I liked the magician he was a nice guy.  All in all a good event.”  JV

“I wanted to thank you so much for creating this website. I joined a few years back, attended a couple of events, which were unsuccessful for me. But through the website (which is great) I met my perfect match. I was beginning to think there was no one out there for me but this website proved me wrong. We are due to get married at the end of this year. Thankyou so much. S L and A P”

“Great events with professional and friendly hosts”  RH

FEB 2010

“I loved the speedate event I went to on Valentines..the first one I went to. Staff were great too. I have met someone and going to see how it goes. Thanks again. You guys have been great.” MM

“The Valentine’s event was well organised and good fun. I spoke to lots of interesting people and the speed dating was much less intimidating than I had expected. The first young lady I met was lovely, and we’ve been on a few dates since, so watch this space… To anyone thinking of whether or not to bite the bullet, do it: you never know who you might meet!” NM

“Good range of events and wide variety of people attending.” JG

“Well run, probably the best about” JM

“I met someone elsewhere but  I think your site is fantastic. Keep up the good work!”

How many photos do you have?

Monday, May 9th, 2011

This is a common question I get asked.


Is it better to have one photo or several?

Some people like to add a vast selection of photos to their online dating profiles. They add action shots, photos of them on holiday, with their pets, swimming in lakes etc. This is all very well and good but you should keep one thought in mind every time you add one: Does it add value?

Each photo you upload will be judged carefully by the viewer. If it raises alarm bells for any reason whatsoever then they’ll quickly move on to the profile. However, if it’s an interesting shot it might serve as a fantastic excuse for them to contact you – an instant icebreaker.

My advice would be to stick to two or three images. One clear headshot ( no sunglasses or hats please!) and one full body shot. A third one can be a holiday or photo of you doing something out of the norm. If you only have one photo then viewer will wonder why that is and what you might be hiding.

I’d always advise you to rotate your main photo every two – three months. That way you might get a second chance if someone has overlooked you before. They’ll see a new image and assume it’s a new person, doubling your chances of hearing back from them. Don’t change it too often though, as it gets confusing for everyone.

Of course, if you do only have one photo then you need to make sure it’s THE best photo you have. The absolute biggest error is NO photo at all.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Arrive on Time

Tuesday, May 3rd, 2011

We’ve noticed something that’s happening a lot at our events.

Guests are arriving well past the start time!

We’d really appreciate it if you could make the extra effort to arrive on time.  Otherwise it can ruin an otherwise fantastic party.

Perhaps you might be nervous about being the only one there. Many of our guests do turn up at the start, so you won’t be left on your own.  Once these people have chatted they are looking for the next people to talk to and if you aren’t there then they can’t use the icebreaking game or other activities.

If we are running speed dating at the event then we can only make it happen if enough people are interested.  It really is first come, first booked in – so if you are late you’ll miss out.

We’ve even heard about groups going off for a meal before attending an event. While it’s a good idea to eat before you come, make sure you have finished so you can arrive at the start time.

The worst situation is where the guests who have arrived on time assume nobody else is coming.  They’ll then leave early, just before other guests turn up.  The new guests then think the party is quiet!  So rememeber that if you arrive on time we’ll end up with a bigger, better party with a much better vibe.

As a guide, most week night parties start at 7pm and our Saturday night events begin at 7.30pm.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

How dating has changed over time

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

Dating has changed so much over the years.

Today’s blog is about the new ways of doing it

Generations ago, Asian singles were introduced by families or by a head of their community.  They’d attend social functions under the guidance of chaperones and would stick to the rules and social conventions of the time.  Nowadays most people have to have travel away from their hometown to work and their family and friends can be miles away. On top of this, people are working longer and longer hours and coming into contact with less people.

However, the invention of the Internet has helped dramatically to help readdress the balance.  Asiansinglesolution has revolutionised  dating for single Asian professionals. It’s easy to log on to a computer from home and sign up to lots of different web sites.  Once they’ve created a quick profile they can potentially date and interact with 1000’s of possible singles from all over the country.

My dating tips and advice for actual face to face dating remains the same as it did before online dating.   You still need to create an amazing first impression,  present the best possible version of you. listen to what your date is saying, flirt and keep building the attraction.

There has never been a better time to hit the dating scene.  The taboo of online dating has long gone and more matches are being made than ever.  As there is so much less pressure than in previous generations, singles can have more fun enjoying the dating process.

So why not log on now and meet another Asian professional right now?

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

How to get more replies

Monday, April 18th, 2011
Have you sent out a lot of messages and not got much response?
Here are the most common things you could be doing wrong.
1. Have you sent your messages reply paid, so they can read and reply, even if they are a basic member?
2. Check your grammar and spelling. Professional people are often turned off by bad spelling, eg u instead of you
3. Be positive.  Talk about what you what you want rather than what you don’t want.
4. Make sure you have a great photo. This is the biggest reason for failure.  No photos means no replies!
5. Have you written an interesting profile?  There has to be something to grab their attention or they’ll skip on to the next person.
6. Never every copy and paste messages.  It’s so obvious and you are simply wasting your own time. Instead, write proper messages to people you really like.
7. Ask a question.  Ask a simple flirty question that they can innocently respond to.  If not, an invitation can work too.
8. Don’t expect to swap numbers straight away – that’s a bit like going up to a girl in a club and saying “Hi, here is my number, call me” . You have to woo and entice them first, on the site where it is safe.
9.  Follow up.  If you’ve not heard back after a few days, don’t worry.   As long as you work on your profile and photo, you can write a more enticing message and try again.
10.  Be Realistic. Don’t just contact the amazing looking people.  They’ll be inundated with emails and most likely won’t have time to reply.   Dating is a numbers game and you need to to contact lots of people each week.  Once you start to work out what’s working and what’s not you will get better results.
Good luck!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

No Time Wasters Please

Monday, April 11th, 2011

I’ve noticed a lot of people write this on their profiles.

So today’s blog will be on this topic.

Before I begin, I’d like to suggest that the phrase “no time wasters please” is not a good thing to write in your profile.  Firstly,  you should never focus on negative things and who you don’t want to meet, but rather the sort of person you do.  As well as this, would it really put off a time waster and what is the true definition of a time waster anyway?

I doubt many people would admit to being a time waster, but they would admit to sometimes being unsure, nervous or concerned about dating someone.  If you’ve emailed for a while then you fall into a comfort zone where you enjoy the attention and the very fact someone is interested in you.  Everyone is looking for different things – marriage, fun dates, friends etc so you need to be clear about this from the outset.  Otherwise it leads to frustration and disappointment.

It’s not fair to string someone along with the false hope that you are interested in a relationship with them.  The longer you delays telling them that you don’t see a future, then the more hope and expectations will be built up.  Don’t continue to email or chat to them unless you make it very clear you just want to be friends.

It might be hard to admit it to them but you are doing the kindest thing for them in the end.  Once you’ve told them there is no romantic inclination then you’ll both be free to meet someone more compatible.

Good luck,

James Preece

Chat Attack

Thursday, March 31st, 2011

Join us on Wednesday at 9pm for our next Chat-Attack

On a typical night we have 2000 users logging on but at different times. Hence there might only be 300 at one time, either using chat or ready to use chat.

Chat Online at

Meet up to 500 people online Wednesday 9pm

Sometimes it can be hard to find the people you want online. So, we thought that if we set a time for everyone to go online, then it would be like creating an amazing party. Well, almost! You can chat to up to two people at a time.

So, make sure you are logged in at 9pm Wednesdays.

If you are  a Premium Plus member you can request to chat with anyone. If you are a Premium member you can initiate a chat with other Premium or PremiumPlus members.

If you are basic user CLICK HERE to upgrade now. Or you can sit in the corner and hope someone finds you.

Why is it called Chat-Attack? Well mainly because it rhymes! Think of it as an ‘Attack’ on our servers. We’ve just put in masses of new memory and processing power, so we want to test it to the limit. ;-)

What is chat for? – Its important to realise that chat is really for fun online flirty entertainment purposes only. The chances that the love of your life will be online at the same time as you are generally slim. So don’t expect that! If it happens great, let us know.

See you online on Wednesday.


Paul Ergatoudis


N.B. Chat is still a bonus feature under test, so please don’t shout at us if it breaks!

How to join a conversation

Monday, March 28th, 2011

In today’s blog we cover a topic that many people find difficult.

It’s especially relevant if you plan to attend one of our singles parties.

If you are at a social event and don’t know many people it can be hard to join a conversation.  They all seem to be having a lovely time but you feel like you are on the edge, looking in.

So here are my Dating Guru tips to help make this easier for you.

1)  Find a friend.  It’s a lot easier to break into a group if you have a wing man/woman with you.   So pair up with someone else in the same situation and stick together for a while.

2) Arrive early.  it can be tempting to turn up late to a party so you can sneak in as unoticed as possible.  However, by that time the other guests will have formed little groups and already bonded.  By arriving early you can have a headstart on everyone else and have first choice in talking to new arrivals.

3) Don’t worry about being on your own.  If you find yourself on your own then don’t panic, just take minutes to reflect and enjoy your own company.  Go up to the bar and buy a drink and you’ll soon get the chance to meet new people.

4) Smile.  This is the single most important thing you can do.  If you stand around looking miserable then nobody will want you to talk to them.  Look like a warm, friendly person and groups will welcome your positive vibes.

5) Don’t forget that all the Asian Single Solution parties have lots of great hosts to help you. Have a quiet word and say you’d like some help and they’ll do their best to make some useful, discreet introductions.


Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Chat Feature Update

Sunday, March 27th, 2011

Hi all,

Everything was working so well, I forgot to up date the blog.

We fixed our technical issues and added some extra memory and processor power to our servers. The site and chat feature is all now working brilliantly and super fast.

Log in now and have a play. You can see who is online when you do a search.

Dont forget to check out your new SmartMatches.


FootNote – Chat is just a bonus part of your membership as it’s still in beta testing.  That means its not part of our contract with you and could be removed or suspended in the future. We obviously hope this wont happen though!



Young, Single and Hindu/Sikh TV Show

Monday, March 21st, 2011

Are you under 30, Hindu or Sikh and looking for a partner?

An exciting new TV show is looking for you!

We’ve been approached by a television production company to help find people for a new television documentary.  If you’d like to be involved, please let us know asap.  This could be a great opportunity to meet someone amazing and will also be good publicity for the Asian Single Solution

About the Show

We are currently producing a new documentary series for BBC Three which will be exploring the subject of courtship and marriage amongst several different religions. The series will aim to give the audience an informed and educated insight into the traditions and values of each faith as well as observing and following a person on their quest to find their life-long partner. We also want to learn about the people who are involved in assisting young people and their families, when making this important decision.

Within the series, we will aim to give an understanding about the practices of each faith, as well as give a light-hearted and enlightening view of contemporary, multi-cultural British life.

We would like to make the series both accurate and balanced but through the views and experiences of people practicing Sikhism/Hinduism.

We are in the early stages of production currently. We have scheduled to start filming from May onwards. The entire filming process will continue over a period of 4 months, as we follow our main characters who will form the main aspect of the programme.

We would be keen to gain an insight into the current dating scene and the support that is being given to people within the Asian communities, specifically Hindu and Sikh communities.  We will of course be treating this extremely sensitively and in the manner that you will be happy.


If you’d like to find out more then please drop me an email to  [email protected]

I’ll then forward it to the production team.

Thanks for reading!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Successful Server Upgrade

Monday, March 14th, 2011

At 2pm  today, Tuesday 14th March,  our hosting company successfully upgraded our main server. This involved a short down time of about 20 minutes.

The sites should now be quicker during peak times, and you will now be able to better enjoy browsing the site and using our advanced features.

Please do feedback to us if you experience any issues.

Your friends or your date?

Monday, March 14th, 2011

Today’s blog is all about that common problem everyone faces.

How do you juggle your dating and social life?


It’s a common scenario and happens to us all.  If you don’t have a partner you’ll probably have experienced this will friends who have met someone.

When you were single, it was fun to call up your friends and hang out together.  You’d share problems, jokes and stories together and would always “be there” for each other.

However, you’re now in a relationship and you don’t have time for them anymore.    You do your best to see your friends but something always comes up.  On the rare times you do get together your partner raises concerns and complains about it, so you end up seeing them less and less.  If you see too much of your friends it can lead to jealousy or suspicion.

So what can you do about it?

1) Remember that your friends were there when you were single and will be there for you if you ever are again.  So always keep in touch and let them know they are still important to you.  Send them birthday and Christmas cards and send them short emails and texts when you get a free moment.

2) Don’t let your Partner make you choose between your friends and them.  Your friends should always take priority, at least in the early days of a relationship.

3) Spend time with BOTH your partner and your friends together.  That way they’ll get to know each other and build rapport.  The more they get on then the more you’ll keep them happy.

4) Introduce your friends to them gradually, not all at once.  That way you won’t overwhelm them or make it feel too pressured.

5) Agree limits.  Have one night a week, or fortnight, when you both see your friends.  Set a time limit so you’ll be home by midnight to see each other and you won’t be endlessly worrying about what they might be up to.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Smart Matches

Sunday, March 13th, 2011

Dear users,

You may have noticed a new link called SmartMatches in our top navigation bar.

Using scientific analysis we are now able to offer you recommendations based on your activity and the activity of other users.

We can only make these suggestions if you are actually using the site. So click on the profiles you like, and send lots of messages and winks etc. By measuring which other people also like those profiles, we can identity profiles that you may have missed out on. We can also guide you to which profiles our members believe are similar to the profile you are viewing.
Why not jump into the site now, and have a play. If you are not getting any Smart Matches, then you just need to start using the site and in a few days your matches should appear.

Enjoy these features and let us know what you think.



Dating Question: When is it serious?

Monday, March 7th, 2011

As the Dating Guru, I love to answer all dating questions.

Today I’ll be helping with one of the most recent.

“Dear James,  I’ve been seeing someone for a short while now. We’ve had three dates over the last ten days and things seem to be going really well.  We talk almost every night on the phone and text during the day.  We hold hands on the date and have kissed too, but nothing more yet.  The thing is, I really like them and want us to be an “item”, but I don’t want to scare them off.  How can I found out if the feeling is mutual and if things are serious? Our next date is this weekend.  R”

Dear R,

Many thanks for your message.  I’m pleased things are going well.  You’ve got past the three date barrier which is often the “decider” for a relationship.  The thing to keep in mind though is that while you’ve had lots of contact, it has only been ten days in reality.   I’d suggest you ease up on the contact a tiny bit or you’ll end up “crashing and burning.”  This is where feelings escalate too quickly and you run out of things to do and say.  Leave a little bit of mystery about yourself and they’ll want more.

As for whether things are serious or not,  there’s no harm at all in simply asking.   If they don’t see it as a long term thing then at least you’ll know now.   If they are happy and want to make it official  – which sounds likely – then they are probably just waiting for you to mention it first.  Nobody wants to be the first to bring it up in conversation!

Good luck!

If you have your own dating question you’d like me to answer, email it over to [email protected] with DATING GUR U as the subject.  I’ll answer the best ones here in this blog.

James Preece  – The Dating Guru

Are YOU hiding something?

Monday, February 28th, 2011

There’s one thing I can’t understand with Online Dating.


In fact, I’ll go so far as to say it’s a pet hate!

Yes, this blog is all about something that really really bugs me :  Photos that have people wearing sunglasses.

I see this time and time again and we at the Asian Single Solution do our best to reject photos like this.   It’s mainly men that do this, but women can sometimes be guilty of it

People do it to look cool and sexy but this just has completely the opposite effect.  Why?   Well it just makes it seem like you have something to hide.  They’ll look at your photo and wonder just why you don’t want your full image to be seen.  Maybe you have a black eye, look like a reject from a Horror film or are too embarassed/shy/married to want to be seen.   None of these are good qualities and you are only doing yourself harm in the long run.

We don’t explain this on the photo upload page but some people think they know best.  But please keep in mind that sunglasses inside is never a good look.

The same applies for anything else that might obscure your face, such as a hat, scarf or even a glass.   Make the most of what you have!

One final note – it’s fine to have obscured photos as a secondary picture if that’s what you really want to do.  Sometimes these can look fine in context.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Recent Technical Issue

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011

About 7pm last night, 22nd Feb, our service was interrupted due to a major technical issue. The site has now been restored as at 11am on the 21st February so we have lost about a day of data.

We are in the process of manually restoring what we can in terms of memberships and event bookings.

Any messages sent since that time are now lost. Please resend any messages that you sent during this time. If you received a message you can check who it was from in the email notification so you can prompt them to resend if you wish.

We sincerely apologise for any inconvenience caused. This matter was beyond our control.

We have taken all necessary steps to repair the issue to prevent it happening again.

The Way to Woo a Woman

Monday, February 21st, 2011

It’s always a good time to think about seduction.


So in today’s blog I’m going to tell you why you need to be romantic through the entire year!

The key message is that you need to be romantic every day, not just for Valentine’s, Christmas, birthdays etc.

It might seem like a cliche, but you still need to do it!   She’ll be expecting these romantic gestures and needs them to make her feel loved and special.  However, flowers, perfume and chocolates won’t last very long so you need to think bigger.

It’s easy to think up simple, romantic gestures and A great gift is to get a locket engraved with a special message. Place a small photo of the two of you together so you’ll always be close to her heart.  Women love that kind of thing!

You could also try baking some cupcakes and then icing each one with a letter, spelling out a romantic message.     This will take a lot less effort to do than it appears and she’s have something remember.

If you want to woo a lady it doesn’t have to be difficult or expensive, just make her know you’ve been thinking about her.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Did you get a Valentine’s date?

Monday, February 14th, 2011

We had a fantastic Valentine’s party on Saturday


We know that many people have already got dates lined up, but did you?

If you didn’t get any cards yesterday, don’t feel miserable about it.  Even if you do have a secret admirers,  they’d probably never dare let you know anyway! It’s funny but most people do have at least one person who wishes they were dating them, but they are too scared to ruin a friendship, business relationship or just too shy in general.  So nobody makes the first move and everyone wonders why they are still single.

The secret is simple, get yourself out there and be proactive.  If nobody know you are single and looking then you’ll never meet anyone new. Take the initiave and do your best to make your intentions known.

Next year make sure you it’s you sending out Valentine’s cards to the people you like.  Alternatively, just send a text letting them know you are thinking about them. Nothing over the top, but little things like that will brighten their day and increase your chances,

We’ve always got lots of great singles parties throughout hte year so do book up for some today.   You might just make your own love story.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Dating Different Types: The Beauty Queen

Monday, February 7th, 2011

When it comes to dating there are many different types of people


Each one needs different tactics and I’ll be writing about them in future blogs.
Today’s blog is all about the “Beauty Queen” and is aimed at men.   We all know this particular type.

She’s the one who looks like she has stepped off the cover a magazine and always has a crowd of men around her desperate for her attention.

But somehow you’ve asked her out and she’s said yes.  So how do you handle her on a date?

Firstly, keep in mind that she’s just a normal person.  Just because she’s beautiful on the outside doesn’t mean she’s secure on the inside.  In fact, many good looking women ( and men) are rarely asked out as a lot of people are too shy or intimated to approach them.  The only ones who do are the arrogant or drink people and she’ll dismiss them as quickly as they can.

The most important thing is not to try too hard to impress her, or it will come across as desperate.

You still need to make an effort as you still want it to be memorable and exciting for her. Keep is simple, yet sophisticated – perhaps cocktails or take her to a restaurant you know she’s been dying to try.

Don’t go on about her looks – she’ll hear that from everyone else. Act like you aren’t that bothered about how she looks but compliment her on her personality, sense of humour or intelligence instead.  She’ll be flattered that someone likes her for being “herself” rather than what she looks like.

Nothing is sexier that confidence, so show her you aren’t intimidated and make sure she knows she has to work hard if she wants to see YOU again!

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

What to talk about on a date

Monday, January 31st, 2011

You’ve got a date lined up and you want to get to know each other.


So what can you talk about? What shouldn’t you talk about?

Here are my dating tips to help ensure your date goes smoothly and that you have lots to talk about.

1) Don’t interview them.  Yes, you need to ask questions and find out about them but you aren’t on a chat show.  If you start firing off questions then it will make them feel pressured and they’ll back off.  So instead take turns to ask questions and acknowledge their replies rather than asking them something else immediately.

2) Use body language rather than talking.  This can be as simple as smiling, nodding and paying full attention to what they are saying.  If they feel you are enjoying what they are saying they will be more comfortable.   Remember that it doesn’t always matter what you say, rather than the WAY you say it.

3) Flirt!  If you don’t want to be stuck in the “just friends” zone then this is vital.  Touch them lightly on the arm every now and again and try to be a bit cheeky, teasing them every now and again.

4) Sell yourself.   Make sure you present yourself as best you can but don’t boast or bore.  The key is to convey that you lead an interesting, fun, busy life.

5) Don’t fill every silence.   Sometimes it’s good to pause for a short while.   You don’t need to try and think of something clever to say, just enjoy the moment to reflect.

6) Have conversation topics ready just in case.  If the chat completely dries up then you use these to get things back on track.  Make sure it’s an interest topic you can both discuss, rather than a question they can answer with a yes of a no.   You could ask them if they’ve ever had a supernatural experience, what their earliest childhood memory is or what their dreams are for the future.

7) Don’t be an Agony Aunt/Uncle.   People have a tendency to unload their problems on others and they in turn want to be the one to solve them.  They think that if can help then their date will be eternally grateful and think they are wonderful.  That’s just a negative thing to talk about.   A date isn’t the time for this -always focus on the positive.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

What’s the best time to message?

Monday, January 24th, 2011

I’m often asked when the “optimum” messaging time is for online dating.


Should you do in the day when they might be working or at night when they are home?

When it comes to internet dating, the peak time tends to be at weekends and in the evening.  That’s when people are free to log in and send messages without being watched by their bosses and colleagues.  Having said that, many people do log in and out throughout the day too.    If you write your messages in the day they’ll still get them and be able to reply.

So the simple answer to this question is – message anytime!

People sometimes like to wait a few days to reply to a message, to give the impression they are busy and have other things going on.  This is a bad tactic as if you make them wait to long they will just email someone else instead.  If they engage with other people and get on you’ll have missed your chance.  Strike while the iron is hot and the interest is there.   There’s nothing worse that trying to keep track of a coversation when you have to wait ages between each message.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru features on BBC Asian Networks

Wednesday, January 19th, 2011


Paul Ergatoudis from was a guest on the Nihal show today. 19th January 2011.

The discussion topic was about online dating sites.

We appear at approximately 1hr 17 into the show.  Also at approximately 1.34, 1.44 and 1.56.

You can listen to the full show Click Here

What if I don’t hear back?

Monday, January 17th, 2011

You’ve sent a message but haven’t heard back.


Should you move on or try again?

You know the scenario. You’ve contacted lots of people you like on the site but haven’t heard back from some of them.

You don’t want to hassle them so most people simply give up at this point.   But I’d strongly advise you to give it another go.

Keep in mind that people lead busy lives and might be inundated.   These means they accidentally overlook certain emails or they plan to open then or end up getting distracted and forgetting all about it. Resending your email to these people almost guarantees an increased open rate.

Here are a few tips to see if you get better results

  1. Always write proper, personalised messages.  If they feel you’ve made an effort they’ll be much more likely to reply.
  2. Wait at least three days before you contact them again.  They might well have not had a chance to log on the site, especially over the weekend
  3. Make sure you send a credit with your message.  This means that they can open and reply to it, even if they aren’t paying members.
  4. If it’s still in bold, it’s not been read.  However, even if it has been read it doesn’t mean they are still a paying member. Perhaps they read it when they were a member but now the membership has lapsed.  A credit will fix this.
  5. Change the Subject Line.  If do this is will look like two different emails.  If they’ve not read the actual message then they won’t even know they are the same.
  6. Make it clear you are resending it.  Say something like “I’d hate you to miss this” or “I’m resending this as I know we’re a fantastic match.”

One final piece of advice.  If you don’t hear back after you’ve contacted them twice then move on.  There’s no point contacting them again. Not only will it annoy them but you’ll be wasting energy when you could be lining up dates with other people!

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Are you making this big dating mistake?

Monday, January 10th, 2011

Here’s a common mistake people often make.


It’s one you need to avoid so read this blog to see if you’ve made it too!

When people sign up for an online dating site, it can be tempting to cut corners and try to avoid putting any effort in.  So rather than writing proper messages, they’ll send out a quick two line message to absolutely anyone then like,  making sure they include their phone number or email address in the message.

Imagine you were at a nightclub and wanted to find a partner.  Would you really just rush around the room, handing out bits of paper with your phone number on them?

What kind of results do you think you might get and how many would call you the next day?   I’ll bet that you don’t get any at all.

The secret is to engage with each person individually, flirt with them, make them them feel special and build up trust.  Only then can you exchange numbers.  It’s the same formula you need to stick to when it comes to dating online.  If you just send a phone number and no personal message it will be deleted and you’ll be forever classed as a weirdo.

Remember, you’ll get out of it what you put in and you need to put some effort in to get the dates you want.   The difference is that you’ll get the results so much quicker if you do it properly from the start!

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Making 2011 the year you find love

Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

It’s a new year and your chance for a fresh start.


So what can you do to guarantee you find love at last?

Everyone makes new year’s resolutions, which is why January is traditionally the busiest month of the year when it comes to dating.

So if you want dating success you have to take your first steps now.  You don’t want to be single in a few months time wishing you’d taken the opportunity.

Here are our top five suggestions to make sure you make the most of your chances.  We advise you just to start with a couple to make sure you stick to them:

1) Work out what you want.  Who do you really really want to meet?  You need to be clear on this from outset or you’ll never know when you get them!

2) Team up with a friend.  Doing something with a friend boosts the chance of you making it work.  You can rely on each for support and spur each other on.  So find a single friend and attend some of our events together.

3) Stop making excuses.  We’d all like to have more time, more money and look better – but live for the moment. Be proud of who you are right now.

4) You don’t need to settle.  By all means give people a chance, but if you know someone is completely wrong for you then stop wasting their time.

5)  Keep up the momentum.  If you get good results you’ll stick to them, but if they don’t come quickly don’t be tempted to stop.   Like most things in life, you’ll get more out of dating if you put the work in!

Why not upgrade and sign up to some of our singles event to get the year off to a great start?

Remember, we are here to help you so let’s make a plan together and get you what you truly deserve at last.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru