Archive for February, 2009

Are you too knackered for sex?

Friday, February 27th, 2009


We were fascinated to hear about a recent study that was carried out by GMTV. Apparently 79.2% of us would prefer a good night’s sleep to sex. They also found that seven out of 10 people have trouble sleeping.

In fact, only 12% of the 8,500 people who took part thought they were getting enough sleep.  People are working longer and longer hours in increasingly stressful jobs so they find it hard to switch off at night.

Dr Chris Idzikowski, the Director of the Edinburgh Sleep Centre, said “Disrupted sleep not only impacts on quality of life, but there’s an increased risk of higher blood pressure and its consequences – heart attacks and strokes.

“Many people have jobs that demand a lot of attention and attention is the first mental ability to deteriorate after a poor night’s sleep.Some people think they can manage on less, but really they aren’t performing or feeling as well as they might. The average for adults is around 7.5 hours, so those 40% are right – they understand that they’re not functioning properly.”

If you are having trouble sleeping then ironically sex can help. It can be a natural sleep inducer. Not only will it tire you out and take your mind off things, but sex releases chemicals ( especially in men) that will relax and help you drift off.

Of course, if it’s the other way around and your lack of sex is causing you sleepless nights, you know where to come for help!

The Perfect Online Dating Profile

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

How much thought do you put into your online dating profile?   What do you think you’d have to write about to get the best results?  


Studies show that men tend to look for someone they find physically attractive, sporty and understanding while women want someone understanding, funny and in touch with their emotions.


The big question, is do you write about you or write about the person you are looking for?    Professor Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire carried out a study at the Edinburgh International Science Festival to help answer this question.  He asked  40 men and 40 women to write 25-word personal ads – then got another set of volunteers to circle the ones that appealed.


The results showed a “golden formula” that you should stick to when writing a profile.   You should spend 70 per cent of the profile describing you and 30 per cent describing what you are looking for. If you spend more than 70% of the profile talking about yourself then you might appear to be egotistical. Likewise, you may give you the impression you are trying to hid something  if you don’t write enough about yourself.     


In the studies, the ads that were closest to the 70:30 rule were the ones that had clearly the largest number of replies.


Interestingly, Wiseman used a separate panel of volunteers to predict which ads they thought would get the most responses. There was a huge and evident gender difference. The male volunteers were extremely good at predicting which ads would have the most success while the women completely failed.


Wiseman concluded that women should perhaps get a man to look over their dating profile to get the best results.

How to motivate yourself

Thursday, February 5th, 2009


Pick up a newspaper read the front page and be utterly depressed. The same can be said for watching the news. These are challenging and quite harsh times.
So how can we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and get a spring in our step?


The following should help.


1)     Be thankful for what you have

It’s very easy to moan about the day to day chores that we have to do, people who get us down, rude people in London but what about sparing a thought for all the wonderful things we have in our lives. So thank you for wonderful friends, family, girlfriend, boyfriend, food, house, job, health service, peace etc. Each and every morning write a list for everything  you are grateful for. It can be a short list of 10 things taking under 5 minutes or even a page long. It doesn’t matter – the important thing is to actually feel gratitude for what you have. It also makes you realise how lucky you actually are!


2)     Exercise and more exercise

One of the best ways to be motivated and put yourself into a positive frame of mind is to exercise at least for at least 30 minutes per day. This releases endorphins, clears the mind and makes you re focus. You can even brain storm whilst on the stepper or running machine. If you are feeling tired or lethargic this is again one of the best ways to change that state of mind.

It is even better if you can go for a run outside, enjoying the peace and tranquillity, the beautiful park, you will feel recharged and wonderful after.


3)     Start small

Been putting off that task because you’re spending too long procrastinating? Has it reached that point where it really needs to be done, deadlines due? Just do it in small bits. Imagine that feeling when it is actually complete and you don’t need to worry about it any more. Reward yourself with a mini treat after. Avoid all distractions in the meantime. Divert the phone if need be, get off the internet (one of the worst distractions) and start the job, a little each day goes a long way.


4)     Think big

Whilst you may start small have a big vision and keep that in mind. Starting small means you are closer to the end result. This will in turn motivate you and help you reach your final goal.


5)     Act enthusiastically

Even if at this point you are not feeling the motivation, just pretend you are. Pretend you are feeling happy and have completed the job in hand. Once you act enthusiastically you will be enthusiastic, this will in turn motivate you.



6)     Get help or delegate some of the work

A problem shared is a problem halved. Life is so much more fun when you share. If you are having problems getting started talk over some of the issues with your colleagues, they may be able to share some of the burden. He / she may even get you motivated again so you once again find your mojo!


7)     Get some advice/ have a mentor

Talk to someone who knows about the job in hand. Ask for the benefit of their experience, get some ideas on how you can proceed. Their advice will be helpful and motivate you. 


8 )     Have a daily plan

Do a little bit more each day. There is no point to start motivated and not follow up on any action points tomorrow. Have a daily plan and tick off each point once completed. Write yourself a plan for the next day. Find your energy and enthusiasm grow each day.


9)     Have lots to look forward to.

Make arrangements to see friends so you always have things to look forward to. Pamper yourself too. Book yourself a massage, theatre tickets, football or rugby tickets. Do whatever makes you feel great.


10) Have visual goals

It is helpful to have visual goals. Whatever that is you are working towards, make it visual. It maybe something material like a car, or a vacation you have been looking forward to for the longest time. Take or cut out a picture of it and post it at a conspicuous place at work or at home where you can see it often. So that when you feel discouraged, this will remind you of your goal and will help you keep your focus.


Written by Alexandra Abrahams, Dating Expert