Archive for 2019



Is Speed Dating dead?

Tuesday, December 10th, 2019

We’ve been running Singles Events for the last 17 years…with speed dating being a popular feature at almost all of them.

Speed dating is a very simple way for singles to meet each other quickly. The women sit down and men are placed opposite them. Every few minutes, a bell is rung and the men move on to chat to the next female. As the process is fast, it means participants can meet a large number of people in one evening. If they like each other they can connect afterwards to arrange a proper date.

However, times are changing. Online dating and dating apps have become so efficient that singles are able to chat instantly with anyone that they wish to. As such, speed dating parties have become slightly unnecessary. Why go out, when you can do the same thing without even having to leave the sofa?

So many companies no longer run speed dating parties and many of the big players have closed down over the years.

Our events have never just been about speed dating. We focus on bringing you larger parties that have icebreakers and hosts to introduce you. After all, the more people you meet in on evening then the better your chances of making a match. Events are also a great way to meet and catch up with friends. Plus our clients love to put a face to us and meet us first hand.

If you want a chat, advice or have suggestions come along to our events and say hi.

The good news is that we’ll still have optional speed dating at many of our larger events….just for a little extra fun. Our next event is at Valentines in 2020.

Let us know what you think. Are you still keen on attending events in 2020.

See you soon!

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Your Secret Weapon in Love

Thursday, November 21st, 2019

Did you know that when you sign up for our Asian dating site, you get so much more than just being able to contact people?

You have access to a team of Dating Experts

Our company has now been going for over 17 years, which is a huge amount of time in the dating industry. We’ve learned so much in that time and know all the secrets about making online dating work. The great news for you is that if you need help then all you have to do is ask. We can review your profile, photos and messages in order to make sure you are making the most of all your opportunities. The best thing is that it’s absolutely free for all paying members.

We are the most trusted Asian Dating Site in the UK

Check our our reviews on TrustPilot and you’ll see we have an incredible 4.6 out of 5. In fact, we are the 3rd highest rated Dating Site out of ALL companies! This means you can be sure we are a reputable site who have your best interests at heart.

Best Events in the Business

We aren’t just about online dating – we also run regular Asian Singles parties too. For these, we have the very best hosts to help introduce you and have more available per event than any other company. We believe it’s important you get to know our staff so they can help you better.

Happy dating!

James Preece

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Asian Single Solution Birthday Party Review

Monday, November 11th, 2019

Thank you to everyone who attended out big Birthday Singles Party. This took place at the Gable Bar in Moorgate and was very well attended.

The evening began with some fun ice breaking activities and the venue filled up quickly. We’d made sure that our best hosts were on hand to put guests at ease right from the start. We had our ever popular Celebrity Magician Ravi Mayar in attendance too, to entertain the crowd with his eye popping magical tricks.

Speed dating took place throughout the evening, which is also a fun experience. Small groups got the chance to meet each other and see if they might be compatible. Later in the evening, our resident DJ Titch got the crowd going with his party tunes.

We’ve had some great feedback about the event and many matches were made during the course of evening. Our guests are always happy that we arrange these events as provide fantastic opportunities to meet new people and possible life partners. We also had quite a few compliments about our friendly hosts.

The Gable is always one of our most popular venues as we have exclusive use and there is plenty of room to mingle. So we were very happy to return.

Our next party will be our Valentine’s party and we are expecting a large crowd for this. We hope to welcome old friends and new.

Happy dating!

James

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Happy Diwali 2019

Sunday, October 27th, 2019

Wishing all our valued customers a happy Diwali 2019.


From all of us at AsianSingleSolution

Is Cuffing Season Real?

Tuesday, October 22nd, 2019

You may be confused when you see the word “cuffing”. It sounds like something that “those young kids” are doing. Don’t worry though, it’s nothing complicated or inappropriate! The term cuffing actually refers to finding a partner for the colder months. Basically, it refers to a “temporary relationship” for the winter months.

There are 2 reasons singles are compelled to cuff: Social pressures and genetic desire for warmth.

Cuffing is most common from October to February. These months are filled with couple-focused activities, like Valentine’s Day, Christmas, New Years, and more. It can be lonely for those who don’t have a significant other during such significant holidays. As a result, many singles find themselves with temporary partners. This allows two individuals to be a pair for a season that practically demands love. Cuffed couples can dress up together for Halloween and have a romantic Valentine’s day. Cuffing is for those who just don’t want to be alone through this season. Cuffed couples are likely to split when the weather gets warmer.

Since the months are cold, it is only natural to want additional warmth. This is where genetic desire plays a role. The human body wants to snuggle up with someone else, sharing body warmth. It provides a feeling of comfort and satisfaction in the months that hold cold and bitterness.

The ideal for a cuffed couple is that the relationship will last through the seasons. However, that isn’t always a shared ideal. By definition, this type of relationship is meant to be temporary. It is possible that one or both parties will develop genuine feelings, leading them to want the relationship to continue after the cuffing season. If this is mutual, then it’s a great situation. When one person develops genuine feelings and the other doesn’t, it can be a heartbreak waiting to happen.

It is important to be on the same page as your partner, even if they are temporary. It may be awkward to have a conversation based around the idea of a “temporary relationship”, but it can make a big difference in how the relationship progresses. You may find the person you’re cuffed to is looking for something long-term and you aren’t. It may be the other way around. If you’re both interested in short-term, then you’ll save yourself from getting attached.

If you’re starting a new relationship in the winter months, it can be hard to know if it’s timing or this need to be with someone. Because of this, you want to talk to your partner about this type of relationship. They may be interested in something short-term or something long-term and it will be best to know right away. This is why it is so important to talk to your partner about what they are looking for.

Of course, feelings and opinions can change over time. A cuffed relationship can develop into the real deal without you even noticing. There’s nothing wrong with keeping a relationship that started in the cuffing season. As long as you’re both happy, that is all that matters!

Texts You Can Send Someone Between Dates

Tuesday, October 8th, 2019

After a first date, it’s hard to know when to text someone.

Do you text them right away and tell them you had a good night? Do you ask when you’ll get to see them again? Do you wait three days and hope they text you? It can hard to figure out the process. That is because there is no right or wrong answer. Many people prefer to wait or play hard to get. Others are direct and ask for a second date right away. There are advantages to both. The important thing is that you can keep someone interested enough to want a second date between dates.

 

Again, there are no right or wrong answers to what you should text between dates. But here are 4 sample texts you can send to keep your date interested, without going overboard:

 

“Do you want to hear a secret?”

 

If you’re going to text this, make sure you’re sharing something personal, but not too deep. No one wants to dig through your dirty laundry this early in a relationship. You want this “secret” to be something that sparks interest and conversation. For instance: “My favorite emoji is ______”, “my childhood dog was named ________”, “I’ve seen the _______________ movie more than 20 times”. You can use this text format to share something about yourself in almost any subject. For bonus points: Ask the same question for them to answer (eg: “my favourite emoji is __________. What is yours?).

 

“I’ve never been ____________________.”

 

This can be a great follow-up to your “secret” or work as a message by itself. The activity you suggest should be something you’d like to do on the next date. This gives you the chance to ask for a second date, while being playful. It also shows that you want to share this new experience with them. If you want bonus points, use an activity that was mentioned during the first date. That will show you’re a good listener too!

 

“I was thinking of going to _________________ on __________________ and wondered if you wanted to come with me?”

 

You can use this text format to invite someone to food, drinks or any event. This is an open-ended invitation that gives your date the chance to change the variables. If your date likes the date idea, but not the time, then he/she can ask for a different date. By giving someone variables, you’re allowing them to feel in control and choose something comfortable for them.

“My favourite ___________ is ______________. Do you want to go with me?”

 

With this text format, you can insert your favourite food/sport/museum or anything else you can think of. The details don’t matter. This format is a great way to ask for a date, while also sharing something about yourself. There are no details about the time of the date, which allows you to ask when they are going to be available to see you again.

 

The best advice for texting between dates is to keep it simple and be yourself. If you’re naturally a flirty person, then your texts can come off as a little flirty. You want to avoid sexy messages until you get to know each other, but flirty is fine. You can compliment someone if you think it will be appreciated, but it could come off as needy too. If you’re clever and creative, you will be able to keep someone interested in you. After all, your main goal is to keep the person wanting to see you again.

How Much Should You Reveal About Yourself On A First Date?

Wednesday, September 11th, 2019

Almost everyone feels nervous before a first date. There are too many things to think about. Firstly, you need to pick an outfit that shows you’re well-dressed. You need a scent that is going to match your look. You need good hygiene, which can be hard when you’re sweating nervously through the fabric you’re wearing. Then you have to think about where you’re going. Is the location you picked going to work? Is it too loud or too busy? Is your date going to enjoy the location? Is your date going to enjoy you?

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the “what-if’s” before a date.

If you are like most people, one of the biggest concerns is conversation. For any date, good conversation determines whether or not there will be another date. Many people worry they will run out of things to say. Although there are going to be natural pauses in conversation, maintaining a flow is the ideal. Other people worry that they will say too much, ultimately making themselves look foolish. The first date is your opportunity to share aspects of each other, but you don’t want to reveal too much.

There are definitely conversation boundaries on a first date.

It may go without saying that politics and religion are not first-date conversation topics. Although these subjects don’t seem revealing, they can put your date in an awkward position. Especially if they have different views. Similarly, the subject of children or marriage should be saved for a later date as well. If you already have children, you can find a way to bring them up in conversation. To your date, children may be a deal-breaker. For some, this is because it suggests you are still involved with an ex-partner. Your date doesn’t want to think about your previous relationships in any way.

First-date conversation should be fun, while also being informative. You want to talk about your passions and learn the things your date is passionate about. You want to share your hobbies and find common interests. A great question to ask a first date is: What is your ideal/typical weekend? This can tell you many things about your date, while being something they will enjoy answering. You may also want to ask where they see themselves in 5 years and quietly reflect on your position in that future.

There are two things you want to keep in mind:

  1. This is not a therapy session.
  2. This is not an interview/interrogation.

You don’t want to dump all over your date, whether it’s by complaining or giving too much information. Ideally, you want to reveal your personality and quirks gradually. This gives your date the time to absorb everything. You should do the same. Ask your date questions and listen to the answers. Share pieces with each other. Most importantly: Allow the conversation to flow naturally.

When it comes to revealing anything about yourself, ask: Would I be comfortable if the whole world knew this about me? If the answer is “no”, don’t share it on a first date. If it is something you would share with anyone, then it isn’t too revealing for your date.

Happy Dating!

James – Dating Coach for AsianSingleSolution.com

How To Sell Yourself On Your Dating Profile

Tuesday, August 13th, 2019

There is no room for modesty when it comes to your dating profile. Even if you are a private person, you need to up your game if you want to make it work! There are so many active profiles on dating sites in the UK. It can be hard to stand out, especially when you want to fill out the profile quickly. Many people think by having a dating profile and messaging people, they will get dates. Unfortunately, other people have to find you interesting in some way. Your messages may be well-crafted, but if your profile is dull, your message is going to end up unread.

You have to really sell yourself on your dating profile. How? By highlighting every quality that makes you amazing. Yes, you are amazing. Why? Write down every reason you think you might be amazing. Amazing means dateable. If you’re really good at a particular sport, include that. If you hold the world record for the most hot-dogs eaten, you could mention that too as it’s fun. You want to choose accomplishments that will interest other people. It may feel like you are embellishing your better qualities, but that is fine. Do not try to balance this with your bad qualities. There is no room for negativity on a dating profile. Your dating profile should be a negative free zone. Seriously.

If you’re not sure that your giving an accurate description of your awesomeness, ask a friend or family member to review your profile. If they offer suggestions, use them! No one knows you better than the people who are closest to you. Their insight can drastically improve the accuracy of your profile. This can also give you insight to how potential dates are going to view you.

The best way to list your awesomeness is actually in a list. It’s hard to read a wall of text, so breaking up information into easily digestible lists is ideal. It’s easy to skim and still have information jump out. You should do the same thing with your hobbies & interests as well. Now, when you’re crafting the list of things you love, consider leaving out solitary actions. You want to share hobbies you have with a potential interest. Reading a book isn’t going to sound like a fun date, unless you are both introverts.

Building an online dating profile isn’t a one-time shot. A dating profile should be considered an ongoing project. You need to adjust your profile on a semi-regular basis. Add new information. Remove old information. Experiment with what is working and what isn’t. This applies to everything, including your photo, tagline, bio, and even the messages you send out. If something isn’t working, you need to figure out what it is and how to fix it. The only way to do that is by keeping your profile fresh and exciting.

Consider someone checking your profile for a second time, not recognizing they already passed you over. Now, you have a new picture and new information and something on your profile stands out. They decide to message you and you hit it off. It is possible to catch someone’s attention like this. You wouldn’t shop in a store that never changed their display, would you? It’s the same concept.

Ask yourself: What do you find attractive about other people’s profiles? How can you apply that to your own profile?

Of course, there are some things you should avoid when it comes to building your profile, such as:

Using cliches
Photos that show other people
Photos that don’t show your face
Too many emoticons
Too many generic statements, not enough substance
Sending boring messages

If you were a salesperson, think of attributes that would sell your product to a customer. You are essentially selling yourself to a potential date. You should treat it the same way. Honesty is always the most important thing to include on your profile.

Happy dating!

James Preece

Dating Coach for Asian Single Solution

TV Casting: Are you a Hindu Couple from different castes?

Monday, July 22nd, 2019


I work with a Manchester based TV production company called Workerbee. Workerbee is part of the Endemol Shine Group and make a wide range of high-quality factual programming for both national and international broadcasters such as the BBC, ITV, Channel 4, Discovery and National Geographic. 

We are currently working on a BBC 1 documentary looking at the Hindu community in Britain, specifically experiences around caste. The film is a 10:40pm slot and has been commissioned and greenlit. 

The film will follow Parle Patel, who has a huge online presence and is a well-known figure in the Hindu community, through his work on BBC Asian Network and Planet Parle, as he navigates through his own identity as a British Hindu – meeting others along the way. Parle’s YouTube channel has had over 5 million views globally and he is a frequent panellist at community events.

As part of the film we are looking to speak to Hindu couples who are from two different castes who passionate about their identities and want to share their views, or people who have experienced relationship breakdowns due to caste. We’d like to hear about their experiences and how they were able to navigate through something like this. I wondered if you would be kind enough to put out a post on your social media or if you could mention our project in your newsletter? 

Filming for the programme has already started, so ideally I’m hoping to have an initial chat with people within the next week. Of course there isn’t any obligation to take part in anything, but if anyone would like to find out more or share their experiences with me you can reach me on this email
E-mail : [email protected] or on 0161 503 7837. 

Many thanks for your time. 

Kindest Regards,
Laura

The Secret To Making Coffee Dates Work

Tuesday, July 9th, 2019

A “coffee date” is often something our members do before a “real” date. The idea behind a coffee date is that you’re in a neutral location, often somewhere public. You have the chance to really talk, which gives you the opportunity to get to know someone a bit better. Unlike a date, there is no pressure to present yourself a certain way. This leaves room for casual conversation or intense questioning, if that’s the direct you end up in. Neither of you are trying to impress each other, you’re just getting a feel for each other’s personality. A coffee date is used as a screening test to determine compatibility.

If you hit it off, that’s great! The next step is making plans for a more serious date. If you don’t get on then perhaps it’s time to rethink your strategy.

Since there is no pressure on a coffee date, it should be easy enough, right? Unfortunately, that’s not always the case and you can find your date turning into a disaster. One of the most common mistakes on a coffee date is talking about relationships (exes, relationship goals, etc). Although it’s not a “date”, you still have to follow basic dating etiquette. A potential love interest doesn’t want to hear about previous relationships, whether they are good or bad. If you only have negative things to say about a previous partner, you sound bitter. If you only have positive things to say, you sound hung-up. You don’t want to give your date the idea that your heart/head is elsewhere. Instead, avoid the topic of past relationships altogether. It’s best to keep a coffee date light-hearted.

You are encouraged to ask questions and get to know each other. That is the whole point of the pre-date coffee date. The best subjects to talk about are hobbies & interests, things you’re passionate about, music & movies, etc. These are easy questions to answer and they provide enough information about each other. You can really get to know a person through the things they are passionate about.

The secret to making coffee dates work is to view your “date” as new friend instead. This should help to take ALL the pressure off for both of you. By allowing a more casual interaction, coffee dates give you more opportunity to express your authentic self. If you’re prone to making cheesy jokes, go for it. If your favorite outfit includes 3 different patterns, wear it. You’re not trying to impress anyone, which actually makes you more likely to be impressive.

You are just two human beings enjoying conversation over coffee. Doesn’t that sound easy?

The most important thing to remember is to follow the direction of the conversation. There are always going to be awkward silences. You only need to worry when they are frequent and long. If you find you have to manually steer the conversation, that could suggest you don’t share enough common ground. It never hurts to have conversation starters in the back of your mind. This can help get the conversation flowing again. If you’re both having a good time, sharing stories and laughing together, you’ll be seeing each other again soon.

Happy dating!

James Preece

Dating Coach for AsianSingleSolution.com

7 Questions You HAVE To Ask On A First Date

Wednesday, June 12th, 2019

First dates are filled with questions. You want to get to know your date and they want to get to know you. You talk about things you enjoy and share stories with each other. It’s a back and forth of information, loaded with potential topics for the future. It can be fun to learn about a new person, especially when the conversation is flowing. The best conversation is the conversation that changes itself. It adapts and always gives you something new to talk about. Great conversation suggests compatibility. Obviously, a date isn’t going well if you’re both looking for ways to change the subject!

There are some questions you have to ask on a first date. These help to determine whether or not there is potential for a future together. Compatibility is always the first consideration, but these questions may help you to make more informed decisions.

  • What type of relationship are you looking for?

We don’t always see eye-to-eye when it comes to relationships. For some, a long-term relationship is the ideal. Marriage, children and a white picket fence. For other people, a short-term relationship is all they can commit to. Others yet are only interested in hook-ups and casual interactions. It’s important to know where your date stands on the scale. It’s also important to know what you are looking for.

  • Do you consider your life to be simple or complicated?

This question can help you to determine the type of person you’re dealing with. If your date considers their life simple, it could mean they don’t seek challenges and they don’t have any drive. It could also mean they know how to appreciate everything they have. They could have a positive outlook. Someone who considers their life complicated may be a bit harder to adjust to. They could have a completely tumultuous lifestyle.

  • Describe a typical day for you.

Listen closely to this answer. You may learn more about your date with this question than all the other questions combined.

  • Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

When you ask a question like this, you are putting your date on the spot. You may find a brief silence as they have to consider the answer. Maybe they already know exactly where they plan to be. If they do have a clear outline for their future, consider where you may fit into their plans. Contemplate this to yourself, don’t ask your date. The first date is too early to know whether or not you can fit into someone’s future.

  • What are you the most proud of?

It may put your date on the spot, but it will help you to gauge what they deem their greatest accomplishments. You will also learn what aspects of their life are most important (recreation, community, business, love, etc).

  • Who are the most important people in your life?

The answer to this question can tell you a lot about a person. If they answer that their family is, it shows they are family-oriented. They are likely ideal for settling down and creating a family of their own. If they single out a member of their family or choose a friend, follow up by asking them to explain why they chose that person.

  • If you were left stranded on an island and could only choose 3 things, what would you choose?

This question is more light-hearted than the other questions. While being fun, it can also help you to learn about your date. If they choose food & water, they are likely practical. If they choose an electronic, they are likely more frivolous. If they choose a book, they are practical with whimsical tendencies.

It isn’t hard to find good questions to ask on a first date. The examples above can be used as reference points or you can come up with your own. The important thing is to find out where your date wants to be in the future and whether or not that goal fits with your own goals.

Just remember that what you talk about, make sure it’s fun.

Happy dating

James Preece

www.asiansinglesolution.com

New Site

Sunday, May 5th, 2019
App Store

The App updates have been launched. Slightly earlier than planned including a new look for the site and new logo.

We anticipate our new look website will be going up first thing Tuesday (7 May) morning. The site may therefore be offline for an hour or so at some point Tuesday morning. Please bear with us.

Do report to us any issues that you have, once it is live.

The new site finally offers users a fully responsive service for both mobiles and desktops.

Other changes include more sophisticated locations, so we will no longer use post codes for distance calculations.

AsianSingleSolution

  • Posted in App

Why Now Is The Best Time To Be Single

Tuesday, April 23rd, 2019

At the end of every relationship, there is a period of self-reflection. You sit down and talk to yourself about the past, present, and future. Once you’re confident you know what you want in life, you decide to enjoy the highlights of being single for a little while. Then, there comes a time when being single is no longer as exciting as it once was! You want someone to spend time with and share a laugh with. So, you get back into the dating pool and start looking for a new romantic interest.

Rewind

There is no reason you can’t enjoy your own company for a while. There are many benefits to being single and right now is the best time to take action!

Focus On Your Career

One of the benefits to single life is being able to focus on your career. Marketing plays a major role in career development and it’s time consuming. If you’re single, you can devote yourself to developing your career. When you’re in a relationship, you have to find a balance between work and your social life. This means that single people are more likely to succeed professionally.

Less Stress

There are dozens of articles online that express the “science behind being single”. To summarize every article you could read, it’s all because single people have less stress. When you’re single, you can do anything you want to. You don’t have to coordinate your plans or get permission/confirmation. You can be spontaneous because you only have yourself to be responsible for. You can have a lot more fun when you’re not worrying about anyone else.

Alone Time

Along with doing anything you want, you can do it for as long as you want. The only time restrictions fit into your own schedule. Of course, being alone means you can get in touch with yourself in a new way. There are many things we learn about ourselves when we are single, such as what we want for ourselves. Alone time gives you the chance to figure out where someone else may fit into your plans for the future. You can really think about all the details you didn’t consider before. You can gain a whole new perspective on your own life, as well as the world around you.

Our society is always growing, advancing in new and exciting ways. As a result, there are more opportunities for people today than in the past. This includes career and dating opportunities. Right now is the best time to be single because anyone can take advantage of these opportunities.

This is why dating sites, such as Asian Single Solution, are so popular among singles. This type of application provides almost instant access to new people, without the commitment of a traditional relationship. This allows users their momentary indulgence, without becoming a distraction from their future plans.

If you are looking for a relationship, the best way to meet new people is by putting yourself where people are. This could mean approaching people in public places or online dating. We offer a fantastic online dating service for British Asians so why not give it a go?

May Masquerade Singles Ball

Tuesday, April 9th, 2019


We are delighted to announce that we are running a very special May Masquerade Singles Ball on Saturday May 11th.

For this party we will have masked speed dating, a chocolate fountain and 100s of lovely professional Asian Singles. We are planning some more surprises to make sure this is a huge event that will help you meet your match.

Our balls have always proved hugely popular and always attract new faces. Tickets are limited and on sale for £30…but we do a few discounted launch price tickets available if you are quick.

The event is sponsored by Desiblitz.com who will be running a fun ice-breaking activity during the evening.

If you’d like to book you can do so HERE

Best Wishes,
James
Events Manager
www.asiansinglesolution.com

Should I Tell Them About My Dating History?

Wednesday, March 20th, 2019

We have all heard the rule not to mention an ex partner in a new relationship. That rule could perhaps be outdated now. After all, we all have a history. On one hand, talking about your exes can make it seem like you’re emotionally hung-up. On the other hand, when you’ve dated someone for a long time, or been married, they are an integral part of your life. There is a good chance you have stories you want to share that involve your ex. It can be exhausting to have to remember to say your “friend” instead of your ex. It also feels dishonest, since you’re not disclosing the depth of the relationship. Of course, you should never indulge in details about previous relationships, but pretending they never existed isn’t practical either. Especially if you’ve been married or have children.

If you’re only dating someone casually, with no intention of developing a real relationship, they don’t need to know if you’ve ever been married. They don’t need to know how many people you’ve dated or been intimate with. However, if you’re planning to have a serious relationship with someone, you want to get the information out in the open as soon as possible. Especially if it’s going to be a deal-breaker.

This is particularly challenging for single parents. Many people seem to have an aversion to dating someone with children. This may stem from the belief that single parents have too much baggage or it may be as simple as they aren’t good around children. Everyone has their own reason for avoiding single parents. Unfortunately, it’s a reality that has to be faced.

When you’re a single parent, we’d advise you to mention your child upfront. If you’re dating online, this can be as easy as mentioning a hobby you and your children participate in right on your profile. If you don’t mention your child on your profile make sure you let them know within the first messages. It doesn’t have to be the very first message, but sooner is always better. Anyone with an aversion to children will skip your profile. This saves you from potentially awkward conversations. It also helps you not to waste your time on someone who isn’t interested. After all, being a parent is an important part of someone’s life. There is nothing wrong with being a single parent. If someone has a problem with children, then they aren’t the right person for you.

The same should be said about a previous marriage. Your marriage, even thought it has ended, was an important part of your life and you should be open about it. Especially if you are planning to get serious with a new partner. If your new partner has issues with you being divorced, that is their hang-up, not yours. It is better to know their reservations before you plan to build a future with them.

Unfortunately, a separation is more complicated. For most people, being separated is a loose-end. There is baggage. Your new partner may wonder if you’re not divorced because you’re still holding on. Your new partner may even feel like you’re just trying to fill the shoes of your previous relationship. Since there are many complications with a separation or pending divorce, you should tell your new partner as soon as you realize you are serious about the relationship.

Again, if you’re not serious about someone, your past relationships can be kept to yourself. If you are serious about someone, they should know all the baggage you may come with. The worst thing you can do is try to pretend you don’t have a past. By doing this, your new partner will feel like you’re hiding something from them. If you didn’t mention that you were married, imagine how they would react 1 year after dating you? 5 years down the line? How would you react?

If you’re insecure about your dating history, you shouldn’t be dating. You need to work through any residual issues from past relationships before getting involved with someone new.

What To Say To Yourself Before A Date

Monday, March 11th, 2019

When you’re getting ready for a date, it’s natural to be nervous. Almost everyone feels nervous before a date. It is a universal part of the dating process. The nerves are only amplified if it’s been a while since you’ve been on a date or you have a history of dates that didn’t go quite the way you hoped. The problem with being nervous is that it can quickly develop into over-thinking and may even become a source of stress and panic.

What do you do when that happens? Give yourself a pep talk! It sounds silly, but it’s more common than you would think. Many people give themselves a quick pep talk right before a date. This can help to boost your confidence and refocus your thoughts. If a pep talk from yourself doesn’t sound helpful, try recruiting a friend or family member to boost your confidence.

Be prepared to hear the most dreaded phrase in pep talks: “You just have to try to relax.”

We all know that the secret to being less nervous is to relax. We also know that it’s easier to say than to actually do. If you are having trouble relaxing, here are a few things you can do to calm your nerves before a date:

Deep breathing
Meditation
Listening to music, especially your favorite artist/favorite songs
Distract yourself (eg: video games, word puzzles, chatting on the phone with a friend)
Work out/get physically active

These methods may or may not work for you. For some, distractions are a great way to reduce nerves, instead of hyper-focusing on the upcoming date. If distraction isn’t helping, this is what to say to yourself before a date that will actually be helpful:

You’re just meeting someone.

You are two people, getting together to share conversation and a few laughs. There are no expectations beyond the conversation. If the date doesn’t go well, it won’t be the end of the world. There will always be someone else you can meet. By putting “expectations” on a date, you’re making it more complicated than it needs to be. If you reframe your from “date” to “going out with a new friend”, you may find it easier to relax. You may also choose to focus on what you’re doing, instead of who you’re doing it with.

It’s not a job interview and you won’t lose anything if it doesn’t work out.

You don’t have to worry about perfect presentation. Yes, you only get one chance to make a good impression. But you’re not up for a job interview. You don’t have to put a professional foot forward. Instead, just be yourself. Speak in a way that is natural to you and let the conversation flow. The best method for keeping this mind set is by making low-stress plans together. This means a coffee shop and a walk through the park. Choose simple activities that you’ll both be comfortable with. This way, you’re less likely to suffer from nerves. You can ease into the date and let the conversation progress naturally.

Embrace it.

The best thing you can really do is just accept and embrace your nervousness. There is a good chance the person you’re going to meet feels just as nervous as you. Instead of thinking about how nervous you are, think about how nervous the other person might be. Now, think of the ways you can break the ice by mentioning the elephant in the room. Humour is a great tool to ease stress and make someone feel more relaxed. Keep in mind that your date understands your nerves as they are feeling them too.

James Preece

Dating Coach for AsianSingleSolution.com

Dating Advice For The Newly Single

Wednesday, February 20th, 2019

Coming out of a relationship can be an eye-opening experience. It’s almost as if you’re seeing the world for the first time, although that view isn’t always a pleasant one. Sometimes the world feels empty due to the absence of your partner or your lack of self-identity. It’s tempting to try and fill the void by jumping into a new relationship. But that can be a recipe for disaster, especially if you don’t really know what you’re looking for. Before you put yourself back into the world of dating, ask yourself: “What Am I Looking For?”

The answer to this question determines your readiness for a new relationship. Consider the reasons you were attracted to your last partner. Are you looking for those same traits in someone new? Are they generic traits or specific quirks your last partner had? If you find yourself looking for specific traits, you’re not ready to move on from your last relationship. You need to take a step back and look inward. If you’re looking for generic traits, you’re ready.

Boost Your Confidence

If you’re newly single, confidence can be a game-changer. No one is going to want to date you if you seem desperate and lonely. No one expects you’re going to be perfect. Find a balance between the raw emotional state you might be in and the confident person you were before the break-up. You can fake your confidence if you’re not feeling great about yourself. A better idea is to engage in activities that will naturally boost your confidence, like working out or accomplishing goals.

Put Yourself Out There

You have to put yourself in situations you’re likely to meet people in, such as bars or cafes. If you’re leaning towards online dating, find the most successful website or application in your area and give it your focus. It’s tempting to join a variety of websites, but it doesn’t increase your chances. In fact, you end up spreading yourself too thin. So find one that works for you and stick to it. You have the ability to change locations more fluidly in person, so experiment with where people seem to be.

Numbers Game

Dating is a numbers game, there’s no doubt about that. For every successful date you go on, you’ll have 1 or 2 that were awful. The more dates you go on, the more likely you’ll be successful. Online dating takes the numbers to a whole new extreme. If you send 5 messages, you’re unlikely to get any responses. If you send 25 messages, you’re likely to get 1-3 replies. Of course, each message has to be uniquely crafted because most people know if you’re sending a generic message. This can be time consuming, but it’ll be worth your effort.

Be Open

Online, it’s easy enough to be open to meeting people. All you have to do is craft an engaging profile, right? In person, it may be harder to convey your intentions. You have to rely on body language, the direction of your stare and your smile. You can use your body language to invite someone to talk to you, using your eyes to direct them. Your smile should be friendly and saying “hello”.

Take It Easy

Don’t be in a rush to get back into a relationship. Enjoy the single life a little more. Have fun with the process. Dating isn’t always about an end-result, like marriage. Dating can be an independent experience. You can get to know different people. You may even learn things about yourself. Many dates don’t go anywhere and that’s fine. Every experience is something you can learn from. One day, you’ll look back and laugh at the “bad” dates you’ve been on.

Price Match This Valentine’s

Tuesday, February 12th, 2019

Have you received a Valentine’s deal from another site this week?.

We don’t want you to miss out on our great service just because you have a deal elsewhere. If this is the case, we promise to price match the deal.

How to claim – Just forward us the email from the other site, stating the deal or send a screen shot to [email protected].
Add your payment card (from account details). Let us know which package you want and we will do the rest.

Terms of Price Match:
Price match offer valid until Monday 18th Feb 2019. Price discount limited to 50% reduction paid through our website using debit or credit card. Only Seasonal deals are applicable. Excludes introductory discounts. Service must be a comparable, established brand aiming at professionals or a predominantly Asian Market. Service must be a Premium (paid for) service, Excludes any free or Freemium sites. Applies to our 1,3, or 6 months Premium or PremiumPlus service

What To Do When You’re Single On Valentine’s Day

Monday, February 4th, 2019

All over the world, there are people who dread being single on Valentine’s Day. It’s the one day a year that every couple, new and old, take to the streets and flaunt their joy and love. Restaurants fill up with those who are celebrating. Movie theatres are showing romantic comedies and the crowd is filled with couples. Even walking down the street, you’re bound to see people engaging in public affection that may otherwise be considered inappropriate. If you’re single on Valentine’s Day, it seems easier to coop yourself up and avoid the all out love-fest. Although it might seem like a good idea to keep to yourself, this can create deeper feelings of isolation. If you’re already feeling a sense of loneliness, this is the last thing you need. Instead, try these fun ideas to boost your spirits:

Singles Parties

You’re certainly not the only Asian single who is alone on Valentines Day. The good news is that of the people like you, may choose to be pro-active. The end result? Singles Parties. These parties are exactly what they sound like, with men and women alike gathering to engage in conversation. We are running two big Asian singles events ourselves – one in London and one in Birmingham. Of course, it won’t always result in a date, but it’s something to keep your mind from wandering too far. If there aren’t any parties in your area, try hosting one yourself. This works well if you know quite a few single people. The more people you tell about your party, the more people are likely to show up.

Make Plans

If a singles’ party doesn’t sound like your thing, that’s absolutely fine. Not everyone is interested in meeting new people at events, especially if you’re introverted. Instead of trying to meet someone new, opt to connect with someone you already know. You can use Valentine’s Day to bond with anyone, not just a significant other. Try calling a friend or family member to hang out for the evening. If you have a co-worker that is single, invite them out for drinks or just to chill out.

Date Yourself

The greatest love you will ever have is love for yourself. Whether you’re male or female, self-love is crucial to personal development and rich relationships with other people. If you’re single this Valentine’s Day, take the chance to date yourself. Get to know yourself all over again. You may discover a whole new side of yourself! You can also engage in old hobbies & interests that may help you to connect with yourself. Of course, you’re not limited to introspection. Take yourself to dinner, run a bubble bath or go see a movie. If you just want to stay home and play video games, do it! Make it a day that is all about you.

Volunteer

So everyone is busy and you don’t want to sit at home alone. This is a great chance to volunteer your time to a good cause. You can go down to a food bank and help hand out food. You can read to the elderly in a hospice. If you really want to get creative, you can bake treats and hand them out to the local homeless. Not only is this a great way to spend your Valentine’s Day, but you’ll feel a deeper reward in helping others.

Keep Busy

The best advice anyone can give you when you’re single on Valentine’s Day is to keep busy. Even if you’re just ticking things off a to-do list, keeping busy will prevent you from that isolation feeling. The more you can get done, the more accomplished you’ll feel in the following days too. You may be able to completely finish your to-do list or finish those creative projects you have started. You may be able to catch up on work assignments or even just sleep! There are too many options to list, so get creative!

How To Get Out Of A Dating Rut

Saturday, January 12th, 2019

There is nothing more draining than dates after dates that never seem to go anywhere. Sure, it’s fun to get out of the house and away from work. But it feels tedious when nothing long-term ever comes from it. This is called a dating rut. It means that you’re stuck in emotional quicksand and can’t seem to pull yourself back out. We’ve all been there at least once. Below is a list of tips to help you get out of the dating rut and back into the dating pool.

Take a break from dating

One of the best things you can do to get out of a dating rut is take a break from dating altogether. Go out by yourself. Reconnect with your friends. Join a social club or something. Do something that will act as a distraction, while also providing you the opportunity to socialize with others. You may even end up with a date. At the very least, you’ll likely make a few good friends.

Reevaluate what you’re looking for in a partner

It can be easy to become so engulfed in your attempts to date that you can lose sight of important goals. One of these goals is the reason you’re dating in the first place. Our needs often change and sometimes, we don’t reflect those changes in our search for companionship. This could mean your dating criteria is out-dated. Take some time to reflect and think about what it is you’re looking for. Remember that if you’re starting to feel desperate to find someone, you may be looking for the wrong reasons.

Consider your expectations of a partner

Many of us want to say we’re open to anyone life sends our way. The fact is, we all have a type. This could be physical traits or aspects of their personality. It can even mean artificial assets, like careers and possessions. If you’re in a dating rut, you should think about your expectations in a partner. Write them down. Rate their importance. Get rid of any that wouldn’t make or break the experience. This will help you to broaden your selection in the future.

Just have a good time

Instead of thinking about what you’re looking for or putting unnecessary pressure on you dating experience, just have fun! Go out with people you normally wouldn’t. Ditch all your expectations, including the ones you have for yourself. Learn to enjoy the moment and the company of another person. Even if that person doesn’t have the same goals in mind as you. This can help to open you up to a different type of person or show you something you’re missing in yourself.

Practice self-care

That doesn’t mean take a bubble bath or treat yourself to something. Although, if you want to, go ahead! It’s always a good idea to indulge every once in a while. Largely, self-care means putting yourself first. Instead of thinking about finding someone else, find yourself. Spend more quality time with yourself and get to know who you are. You can have fun by yourself, too!