Archive for 2020



New Year – New Love

Thursday, January 2nd, 2020

It’s almost the time of year that everyone sits down to plan their resolutions. Weight loss or better gym attendance. Finding a new career or finishing a project. The problem with resolutions is that most of us give them up after a few short weeks. If one of your 2020 resolutions is finding love, a few weeks isn’t going to make a difference. To help you find romance, here are a few tips you can start implementing into your life right now:

Step 1: Evaluate what you’re looking for.

Before you start looking for love, it’s important to know exactly what you’re looking for. This doesn’t mean create a partner in your mind with every detail thought out. You’ll never meet the perfect person. Knowing what you’re looking for means knowing what you will and won’t tolerate. Everyone has “deal-breakers”. Look over your own and decide which ones aren’t really that important. Now, you’ll meet a whole new criteria of people. It is also important to know what kind of relationship you want, before you start meeting people. You may find that you need to adjust your personal expectations. That is normal. When you’re creating these expectations, be realistic.

Step 2: Know where to find people

Now that you know who you want to meet, it’s time to figure out where you can meet this person. Do you want someone smart or interested in a vintage lifestyle? Try going to a museum, library or other gallery of information. You can meet someone almost anywhere. You probably have places that you visit regularly. These are your “go-to” places. Your favorite coffee shop. Your favorite bar. Your favorite book store. The fact is, you haven’t met someone in these places yet. Instead of sticking to what you already know, try stepping out. Go somewhere you’ve never been. Ask for recommendations from your friends. You never know what options await you when you’re trying something new.

Step 3: Put yourself in social situations

Knowing where to meet people is only the first step. The second step is actually putting yourself out there. It can be intimidating to go somewhere you’ve never been before. If you asked a friend for a recommended coffee shop, invite them along the first time. You’ll feel more comfortable going alone in the future. You don’t want to bring someone everywhere you go though. If you’re alone, you’re more approachable. If you’re accompanied by someone, people are going to give you privacy. Especially if your friend is someone of the opposite gender. If you’re stuck on ideas of where to go, here is a quick starter list:

Community events
Volunteer work
Classes / courses / workshops
Social events and gatherings (eg: Facebook events, concerts)
Festivals / Music Concerts
Office parties
Museums & other information centres (eg: art gallery, pop-up art installations, guided tours, local tourist attractions)

You always have the option of dating online and even hiring a match-making service. If you’re the type to be nervous in social situations, online dating may be a better option because there is less pressure than meeting someone face to face.

Step 4: Be someone that people want to approach

There are many things that go into being an approachable person. First, think about your appearance. To be approachable, you have to be unoccupied. You shouldn’t look busy, be on your phone or reading. You want to be available for conversation. Look around the room you’re in. Smile and make eye-contact with anyone who smiles at you. Allow conversation to develop naturally. But, don’t be afraid to make the first move! Initiate conversation with anyone you find interesting and see where it goes. Most importantly: Have fun and laugh often.

Step 5: Live your best life

If you focus too much on finding love, you may feel as though you’ve wasted a lot of time. The best thing to do is live your life and look for love on the side. Embrace being single for a bit. Enjoy spending time with yourself. You can even date yourself out on dates. If you feel you’re lacking in any area, take time to work on yourself. You can improve your personality or develop your social skills. You could take a cooking class or learn to play an instrument. You could even make a bucketlist and start crossing things off. Occupy your time with everything you love, while also putting yourself out in the world. You’re more likely to attract someone when you’re living your best life.

Step 6: Be patient

You have to remember that finding love isn’t a quick or easy process. You’ll likely meet people along the way and feel a connection that goes no where. You have to be patient throughout dating. You have to be confident that you will meet someone. Each failed date is a new learning experience.

Good luck!

James Preece

Dating Coach for AsianSingleSolution.com