I work with a Manchester based TV production company called Workerbee. Workerbee is part of the Endemol Shine Group and make a wide range of high-quality factual programming for both national and international broadcasters such as the BBC, ITV, Channel 4, Discovery and National Geographic. 

We are currently working on a BBC 1 documentary looking at the Hindu community in Britain, specifically experiences around caste. The film is a 10:40pm slot and has been commissioned and greenlit. 

The film will follow Parle Patel, who has a huge online presence and is a well-known figure in the Hindu community, through his work on BBC Asian Network and Planet Parle, as he navigates through his own identity as a British Hindu – meeting others along the way. Parle’s YouTube channel has had over 5 million views globally and he is a frequent panellist at community events.

As part of the film we are looking to speak to Hindu couples who are from two different castes who passionate about their identities and want to share their views, or people who have experienced relationship breakdowns due to caste. We’d like to hear about their experiences and how they were able to navigate through something like this. I wondered if you would be kind enough to put out a post on your social media or if you could mention our project in your newsletter? 

Filming for the programme has already started, so ideally I’m hoping to have an initial chat with people within the next week. Of course there isn’t any obligation to take part in anything, but if anyone would like to find out more or share their experiences with me you can reach me on this email
E-mail : [email protected] or on 0161 503 7837. 

Many thanks for your time. 

Kindest Regards,
Laura

A “coffee date” is often something our members do before a “real” date. The idea behind a coffee date is that you’re in a neutral location, often somewhere public. You have the chance to really talk, which gives you the opportunity to get to know someone a bit better. Unlike a date, there is no pressure to present yourself a certain way. This leaves room for casual conversation or intense questioning, if that’s the direct you end up in. Neither of you are trying to impress each other, you’re just getting a feel for each other’s personality. A coffee date is used as a screening test to determine compatibility.

If you hit it off, that’s great! The next step is making plans for a more serious date. If you don’t get on then perhaps it’s time to rethink your strategy.

Since there is no pressure on a coffee date, it should be easy enough, right? Unfortunately, that’s not always the case and you can find your date turning into a disaster. One of the most common mistakes on a coffee date is talking about relationships (exes, relationship goals, etc). Although it’s not a “date”, you still have to follow basic dating etiquette. A potential love interest doesn’t want to hear about previous relationships, whether they are good or bad. If you only have negative things to say about a previous partner, you sound bitter. If you only have positive things to say, you sound hung-up. You don’t want to give your date the idea that your heart/head is elsewhere. Instead, avoid the topic of past relationships altogether. It’s best to keep a coffee date light-hearted.

You are encouraged to ask questions and get to know each other. That is the whole point of the pre-date coffee date. The best subjects to talk about are hobbies & interests, things you’re passionate about, music & movies, etc. These are easy questions to answer and they provide enough information about each other. You can really get to know a person through the things they are passionate about.

The secret to making coffee dates work is to view your “date” as new friend instead. This should help to take ALL the pressure off for both of you. By allowing a more casual interaction, coffee dates give you more opportunity to express your authentic self. If you’re prone to making cheesy jokes, go for it. If your favorite outfit includes 3 different patterns, wear it. You’re not trying to impress anyone, which actually makes you more likely to be impressive.

You are just two human beings enjoying conversation over coffee. Doesn’t that sound easy?

The most important thing to remember is to follow the direction of the conversation. There are always going to be awkward silences. You only need to worry when they are frequent and long. If you find you have to manually steer the conversation, that could suggest you don’t share enough common ground. It never hurts to have conversation starters in the back of your mind. This can help get the conversation flowing again. If you’re both having a good time, sharing stories and laughing together, you’ll be seeing each other again soon.

Happy dating!

James Preece

Dating Coach for AsianSingleSolution.com