Archive for April, 2010

New Web Server

Thursday, April 29th, 2010

On 29th April 2010, our website received a major hardware update as we moved the website onto a new server.

This unfortunately required a few hours of down time.  If you tried to use the site during this time, we apologise for any inconvenience.

Hopefully you will see some improvement in the speed of the website. This will also enable us to add new features such as the live chat which will be launched shortly.

Do let us know if you experience any issues with the site, or if you have any other feedback.


Paul Ergatoudis


One minute dating tip

Thursday, April 29th, 2010

Here’s a quick little secret if you want to accelerate intimacy with a stranger.


When you are talking, use the word “We” every now and again.

For example, you could say something along the lines of “What lovely weather we are having right now,” or “We ought to move away from that draft,”

By doing this you’ll confuse their subconscious mind and they will automatically place you in their future.

They instantly build rapport and create a sense of “togetherness”

Two other sneaky words you can also use are “us” and “our.”

If you meet at a party you could say “They’ve put a on a good event for us tonight.”

Don’t overdo this or you’ll be rumbled, so use this tip sparingly and they won’t know what hit them!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Asian Woman Magazine Partnership

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

We are delighted to announce that is now working in association with Asian Woman Magazine.

As part of this new partnership we will be sponsoring the AsianWoman Bachelor Hunt 2010


Asian Woman Magazine boasts a readership of over 100,000 per issue, making it the biggest Asian publication in the world.

The Asian Woman Bachelor of the Year is the annual spectacular of the year.


Selected from their  infamous Top 50 Bachelors and voted by you as well as an industry panel, the lucky Bachelor will be featured in AW Magazine and win some fantastic prizes.

If you’d like to nominate someone ( or even yourself) then click here to register:

Why you should always be proactive

Tuesday, April 20th, 2010

We recently ran a survey on the Asian Single Solution website which asked the question:

“Do you message people first or wait for them to contact you?”


The results surprised us:

I contact them first –  55%
I wait for them to email me  –  45%

We’ve noticed that there that a few very proactive users on the website who contact a lot of people at once.
These members then think its great that they are getting messages, but don’t realise that these people are probably also in discussions with 20 – 30 others too!
So what usually happens is that they send a few messages back and forth but it never actually goes anywhere.  This can be confusing.

The problem is that because they are getting messages they forget to target the people they want.  They think that all they have to do is sit back and wait for people to contact them rather then doing anything themselves.
Just relying on these very proactive members  is not a good strategy!
Instead, always keep in mind that even the very best profiles with the best photos have to keep working at it. There are so many singles on the database that it’s only the ones who make a real effort that will get the results they deserve.  After all, if you wanted anything else in life – such as a job , a car or a holiday – you would do something to make it happen wouldn’t you?  So why should your love life be any different?

So do make sure you always make the first move and contact as many people you like.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Spring Party Review

Tuesday, April 20th, 2010

We had our big Hindu & Sikh party last Saturday and we are pleased to say it was a huge success.


The event took place at one of our most popular venues – The Abbey in Victoria – and sold out with over 210 guests.

We had optional speed dating, ice breaking activities and the return of DJ Titch later in the evening which got everyone dancing.
We’ve had some great feedback about the party so here are some of the comments:

“Brill ideas fantastic venue why did i not find you guys earlier!!!”

“Too many pretty ladies to pick from!”

“You guys really do organise the best parties in London!”

“Staff: very friendly and helpful!”

Our next one is on Sat 8th May and we’ve just confirmed the return of DJ Titch for this.

Remember to book up early as we hate to turn people away, but these really do get full quickly!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Interesting Dating Statistics

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

Here are some very interesting dating facts you might enjoy.


Did you know:

1) In the Uk, over 15 million people are estimated to be single.

2) Just over half of them are actively looking for a long term relationship.

3) 75% of these people have not had a relationship for over 18 months.

4) The average number of dates each of them will have in one year is just four.

5) Amazingly, 1 in 4 people don’t brush their teeth before going out on a date.

6) Just over 43% of people Google their date before they meet up with them for the first time.

7) The place with the highest percentage of single people in the UK is Lambeth in South London.

8 ) Over 4.9 million people in the UK have visited a dating website in the past year.

9) One in three admits to lying on their online dating profile.

10) One in five married couples aged between 19 and 25 met online.

11) British men are the least confident in Europe.

12) 88% of women don’t mind a bald man.

13) 3% of people who want a serious relationship will send a text immediately after a first date.

14) One in five people end up marrying someone they work with.

15) However, over half of all workplace relationships are over within six months.

16) Men spend up to ten times as much buying drinks and meals for potential partners than women. However women match the cash spent dating, as a result of the amount they invest in preparation before a date.

17) The most popular day of the week for a first date is a Saturday.

18) According to one reports, people spend an average of £38 a year on lucky pants!

19) A whopping 8 Billion Pounds is spent on Dating in Britain every year.

20) A date in London will cost twice the amount of anywhere else in the UK.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Dating Problem: What should I do?

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010


Hi James

I hope you are well? – I am looking for some advice

I am 37, divorced, and have a 5 year old son. I had an arranged/ introduced marriage. The conclusion of this, was that I married the wrong girl, but the great thing was my son. I am separated for over 2 years, and am legally divorced, and awaiting for the financial separation to be concluded.

I hope you can appreciate that it has taken me about 12 months, to even walk outside of the house, and immmersed myself in work. I have regained alot of confidence, lost weight, and havn’t felt physically this good in years.

Here I am now, that I believe that I am not old, I still have the opportunity to find the “right” woman. This is the first time in my life I am being selfish, in the divorce, and getting my life back, I love my son very much. He is apart of me, and am never going to let him go.

I am really struggling to find / meet women that are willing to accept that I have a son. I have worked it out it is my relationship with with ex wife that is the problem, not my son. Indian girls are not willing to accept this, as in our community I am a social outcast.

I am very confident, sucessfull man. I have figured out what I want, and even to an extent what women want. I am mature, sophisticated, intelligent. Nothing would make me happier than to meet my equal in life, and someone in that we can make each other happy.

Though, I have been on few first dates, and I can talk to women, approach them, but basically nothing. I go to many social events, I find them better than the internet method

So what do I do? – it is very difficult to handle, and am thinking of taking myself out of this, and giving up, but the desire not to give up (I am very determined and driven person), is keeping me going, but the knock backs are begining to hurt.

I am really not sure what to do. I know my life is going to be tough, but I really want to meet someone!


Many thanks for your email – I’m only too happy to help.

Firstly, well done for taking steps to get your life back on track. It can be so hard to regain focus after such a bad experience. The positive thing is that you’ve got a son who you are clearly so proud of.

Let me reassure that not all women will be put off by the fact you are divorced and have a child. Attitudes are changing. A few years ago as site like ours was considered “taboo” but now it’s the market leader for professional Asians and more and more people are joining that ever before. Stop thinking of yourself as an outcast and realise that it actually works in your favour. It shows that you are capable of reproducing which subconsciously makes you more attractive to women who want kids of their own! Many studies have shown that “fathers” are considered more loving, compassionate and intelligent that men without children.

The important thing to do is to mention your son in your profile. Yes, there are women who will stop reading at that point but most will want to keep reading. If you make it very clear from the outset ( rather than a secret you have to announce later) you’ll only be talking to women who you can have a long term relationship with.

I’ve had a good look at your profile and you seem to be getting lots of interest which is fantastic. I know one or two of the women you are going to be meeting and they are lovely.

Oh, and you really ought to write more about yourself in your profile. Your emails are great that you send out but do run them through a spell checker as women can be quick to judge on that ;)

You say that you enjoy the events so keep going with that. We have events all the time and you’ll soon make new friends. Treat it as a social night without any expectations and you never know who you might meet! Also, accept any invitations that you get and make sure you are putting yourself “out there” as much as you can.

Finally, please don’t give up! You’ve only been using the site for a few months. Your adventure has only just started to enjoy every moment of being single that you can. After all, when you meet someone again you don’t want to have missed out on all the fun of dating!

If you’d like any more help then do contact me directly via my website:

I coach people one to one to get the dating results they really want.

Good luck!



Do you have a dating problem you’d like me to answer?

Get in touch now.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Why have my messages vanished?

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

I often get messages asking where emails have disappeared to on the site.

Well, in order to keep things running smoothly, messages are automatically deleted after 60 days.

However, if the other person deletes the message, or deletes their profile, the the message will also disappear from your inbox/sent.

It’s worth noting that messages in bold haven’t been read yet. This is usually because they’ve not yet logged in or aren’t able to read messages as they don’t have credits or a membership.

If you are keen to hear from them, it’s always worth sending another message “reply paid” as that might encourage them to write back!

James Preece – The Dating Guru