Coming out of a relationship can be an eye-opening experience. It’s almost as if you’re seeing the world for the first time, although that view isn’t always a pleasant one. Sometimes the world feels empty due to the absence of your partner or your lack of self-identity. It’s tempting to try and fill the void by jumping into a new relationship. But that can be a recipe for disaster, especially if you don’t really know what you’re looking for. Before you put yourself back into the world of dating, ask yourself: “What Am I Looking For?”

The answer to this question determines your readiness for a new relationship. Consider the reasons you were attracted to your last partner. Are you looking for those same traits in someone new? Are they generic traits or specific quirks your last partner had? If you find yourself looking for specific traits, you’re not ready to move on from your last relationship. You need to take a step back and look inward. If you’re looking for generic traits, you’re ready.

Boost Your Confidence

If you’re newly single, confidence can be a game-changer. No one is going to want to date you if you seem desperate and lonely. No one expects you’re going to be perfect. Find a balance between the raw emotional state you might be in and the confident person you were before the break-up. You can fake your confidence if you’re not feeling great about yourself. A better idea is to engage in activities that will naturally boost your confidence, like working out or accomplishing goals.

Put Yourself Out There

You have to put yourself in situations you’re likely to meet people in, such as bars or cafes. If you’re leaning towards online dating, find the most successful website or application in your area and give it your focus. It’s tempting to join a variety of websites, but it doesn’t increase your chances. In fact, you end up spreading yourself too thin. So find one that works for you and stick to it. You have the ability to change locations more fluidly in person, so experiment with where people seem to be.

Numbers Game

Dating is a numbers game, there’s no doubt about that. For every successful date you go on, you’ll have 1 or 2 that were awful. The more dates you go on, the more likely you’ll be successful. Online dating takes the numbers to a whole new extreme. If you send 5 messages, you’re unlikely to get any responses. If you send 25 messages, you’re likely to get 1-3 replies. Of course, each message has to be uniquely crafted because most people know if you’re sending a generic message. This can be time consuming, but it’ll be worth your effort.

Be Open

Online, it’s easy enough to be open to meeting people. All you have to do is craft an engaging profile, right? In person, it may be harder to convey your intentions. You have to rely on body language, the direction of your stare and your smile. You can use your body language to invite someone to talk to you, using your eyes to direct them. Your smile should be friendly and saying “hello”.

Take It Easy

Don’t be in a rush to get back into a relationship. Enjoy the single life a little more. Have fun with the process. Dating isn’t always about an end-result, like marriage. Dating can be an independent experience. You can get to know different people. You may even learn things about yourself. Many dates don’t go anywhere and that’s fine. Every experience is something you can learn from. One day, you’ll look back and laugh at the “bad” dates you’ve been on.

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All over the world, there are people who dread being single on Valentine’s Day. It’s the one day a year that every couple, new and old, take to the streets and flaunt their joy and love. Restaurants fill up with those who are celebrating. Movie theatres are showing romantic comedies and the crowd is filled with couples. Even walking down the street, you’re bound to see people engaging in public affection that may otherwise be considered inappropriate. If you’re single on Valentine’s Day, it seems easier to coop yourself up and avoid the all out love-fest. Although it might seem like a good idea to keep to yourself, this can create deeper feelings of isolation. If you’re already feeling a sense of loneliness, this is the last thing you need. Instead, try these fun ideas to boost your spirits:

Singles Parties

You’re certainly not the only Asian single who is alone on Valentines Day. The good news is that of the people like you, may choose to be pro-active. The end result? Singles Parties. These parties are exactly what they sound like, with men and women alike gathering to engage in conversation. We are running two big Asian singles events ourselves – one in London and one in Birmingham. Of course, it won’t always result in a date, but it’s something to keep your mind from wandering too far. If there aren’t any parties in your area, try hosting one yourself. This works well if you know quite a few single people. The more people you tell about your party, the more people are likely to show up.

Make Plans

If a singles’ party doesn’t sound like your thing, that’s absolutely fine. Not everyone is interested in meeting new people at events, especially if you’re introverted. Instead of trying to meet someone new, opt to connect with someone you already know. You can use Valentine’s Day to bond with anyone, not just a significant other. Try calling a friend or family member to hang out for the evening. If you have a co-worker that is single, invite them out for drinks or just to chill out.

Date Yourself

The greatest love you will ever have is love for yourself. Whether you’re male or female, self-love is crucial to personal development and rich relationships with other people. If you’re single this Valentine’s Day, take the chance to date yourself. Get to know yourself all over again. You may discover a whole new side of yourself! You can also engage in old hobbies & interests that may help you to connect with yourself. Of course, you’re not limited to introspection. Take yourself to dinner, run a bubble bath or go see a movie. If you just want to stay home and play video games, do it! Make it a day that is all about you.

Volunteer

So everyone is busy and you don’t want to sit at home alone. This is a great chance to volunteer your time to a good cause. You can go down to a food bank and help hand out food. You can read to the elderly in a hospice. If you really want to get creative, you can bake treats and hand them out to the local homeless. Not only is this a great way to spend your Valentine’s Day, but you’ll feel a deeper reward in helping others.

Keep Busy

The best advice anyone can give you when you’re single on Valentine’s Day is to keep busy. Even if you’re just ticking things off a to-do list, keeping busy will prevent you from that isolation feeling. The more you can get done, the more accomplished you’ll feel in the following days too. You may be able to completely finish your to-do list or finish those creative projects you have started. You may be able to catch up on work assignments or even just sleep! There are too many options to list, so get creative!