Six Biggest Dating Mistakes You Need to Stop Now
Monday, August 17th, 2020Have you been single for a long time, despite many dates? Do you often find yourself reflecting on past dates, wondering what happened? Do you feel like you’re going to be single forever? If your answer was yes, you may need to look at how you’re dating. While we would like it to be easy, like it is on TV, dating has a margin for many mistakes. You may not even realize you’re making the biggest dating mistakes. Below, you’ll find six of the biggest dating mistakes. If you’re making any of them, you’ll want to stop now!
Mistake 1: You’re stuck inside a comfort zone.
You are a creature of habit. You like routine. You often visit the same club or bar. You go to the same coffee shop on the same day of the week. You likely use the same dating applications, despite not having luck with them in the past. You probably send the same kind of message every time you try to connect with someone. It may be time to step outside of your comfort zone. Go somewhere you’ve always thought about going but haven’t been to. Try a dating app you’ve never used before. Yes, familiarity is more comfortable. But, you’re more likely to see results from a new method!
Mistake 2: You’re not interesting enough to keep someone’s interest.
This is not meant to be a judgment or comparison, but some people are just boring. Unfortunately, you may be one of these people. A boring person talks a lot, but hardly listens when other people speak. A boring person resorts to boring conversation and small talk about the weather or work. If you don’t want to be boring anymore, improve your conversation skills. You can use “conversation topics” in order to build on your skills. You can develop your skills by talking to random people. You can always improve your conversational skills by getting out and making memories.
Mistake 3: You want to be in control of everything.
No one wants to be controlled, yet many people want to be in control of everything. This controlling tendency tends to cause many dates to become disastrous. Whether you’re hoping for the perfect date or you’re looking for the perfect spouse, your expectations are standing in the way of your happiness. Yes, everyone is allowed to have “deal-breakers”. There are certain traits that may be hard to handle or may bring up trauma for you. Expectations are the deal-breakers that shouldn’t be. They are often unrealistic. Limiting yourself to people who fit a specific criteria is cutting you off from the rest of the world. Be open when you’re dating, read all your mail and reply to everyone as you never know what friendship might develop.
Of course, you want to plan dates out, but not every detail needs to be thought of. If things change, go with the changes and challenge your controlling nature. That doesn’t mean do something you’re not comfortable with, it just means don’t be afraid of changing the plans.
Mistake 4: You are trying too hard.
Most people can tell when someone is trying a bit too hard to be liked. Sometimes, you’ll fabricate your accomplishments or make up interesting things about yourself. This may lead to people liking you, but how are they going to feel when they find out who you really are? Of course, this isn’t the only method of trying too hard. Often, you don’t even realize you’re making this dating mistake. It’s considered trying too hard when you’re using many different apps and websites to find someone. This spreads you and your resources thin, leaving you less time to find the right person. Find 2-3 websites or apps that you find work the best and stick to them. Also, don’t message dozens of people because trying to maintain that many conversations is hard. Send a message, wait for a response. If you don’t hear back, move on to someone else. There are always fish in the sea, as the saying goes. You don’t need to wait around for someone who isn’t giving you their time. Keep this advice in mind when someone brushes you off as well.
Mistake 5: You are comparing yourself to other people.
This mistake may follow you outside the world of dating. We are all guilty of comparing ourselves to others, even if it’s only for a moment. The problem with comparing yourself, or your relationship, to anyone else is that you’re taking away from what is unique about you. No two people are the same. Similarly, no two relationships are going to be identical. A relationship is a living creation you make with someone, so it should be treated as a unique invention. Don’t rob yourself of happiness because yours doesn’t look the same as another person. If you’re not confident that you are a worthy and unique person, maybe you need to focus on yourself for a while. Learn to love yourself, then you can go looking for someone to share that love with.
Mistake 6: You don’t consider your personal safety.
How many times have you told someone where you worked before you really got to know them? Did they show up, make a scene? Have you ever given out your phone number to someone who wouldn’t stop calling at all hours of the day? This is a safety issue. When it comes to dating, online and offline, you may want to resist giving out personal information too early. A lack of precaution when it comes to dating could be a mistake.
Your safety concerns aren’t only physical. Be aware of your emotional safety too. If someone you’re dating is controlling or wants you to do things you’re uncomfortable with, your emotional safety is at risk. You should never be so involved with a partner that you lose sight of your own personal needs. This is why setting boundaries is important in any relationship. Keep conversations on the site until you are both ready to move on.
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