Archive for May, 2010

A Tall Order

Thursday, May 27th, 2010

I’m purposely making this blog a little controversial – in the hope that some of you will add your own thoughts!

So today’s blog is all about a common subject of discussion….height.


Why do so many women complain that there aren’t enough tall men?  Do shorter men suffer when it comes to getting dates?

There does seem to be a link between social deprivation and height. Studies have shown that men over 5ft 10 are more likely to get married and have children.

Interestingly, research has proven that the opposite is true with women.  Women of below average height ( under 5ft 2) are more likely to have a husband and kids.

This might be because taller women often reach puberty later than shorter ones and are deemed as less fertile, although science doesn’t back this up.

We’ve found that many of our female members on our online dating site are looking for a man at least 4 inches taller than themselves.

The theory is that short women look for taller men as they want to make sure their children are born with average height.
The good news is that once you meet face to face then height usually stops being an issue.  Common sense comes into play and other factors such as looks, personality and sense of humour will always in over.
So my advice is for women to be more realistic and you’ll end up with more dates.  If you are only short yourself then don’t set your expectations too “high.”

Likewise, if you are a tall lady then it’s daft to make yourself even more so wearing high heels as you’ll just make things harder for yourself.

Finally, if you are a shorter man then make the most of everything else you have going for you!

Well, that’s my opinion – what’s yours?

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Kissing *before* a first date?

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

I got asked an interesting question today that I’m going to discuss here with you.

When you first meet someone, is it OK to kiss them on the cheek or should you just shake their hand?


My advice would be to keep in mind it’s a date – so a quick peck on the cheek is perfectly acceptable.

Start with a big smile and keep it to the one cheek. Needless to say, you should stay away from air kissing and going anywhere near the mouth.     Definitely avoid the double “continental” kiss.

Yes, they might back off but if you start with a handshake you are more likely to finish with one at the end of your date.  Be brave and take a small risk and it might just pay off.

After all, most people will appreciate it if you take the initiative.  Handshakes are for friends and business meetings.

I’d be interested to hear what you think is the best way to start a date?

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Where to meet new People

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

How many people do you meet each day?  One ?  Ten ?    The reality is that you could be missing out on meeting hundreds!


Whenever you go out you have the opportunity to talk to other singles – whether it’s on your way to work, your lunch break or just waling down the street.

Here are some opportunities you might be missing with some tips to maximise them:

1) Bookstore.   You might have to cheat a little here, but it’s worth it.  The easy way to approach someone you want to talk to is to take note of what they are reading.  Find a similar book, stand near them and ask if they’ve read it.   Tell them you are new to whatever subject it is and would like to learn about.   It doesn’t matter what – cooking, goldfish or synchronised swimming.  It’s the very fact you appear to have a mutual interest that will help you both bond.

2) Shop.   This is my personal favourite.  Go into any shop with the idea that you have to buy a present for someone of the opposite sex – perhaps your mother, neighbour or favorite Uncle.  Walk up to someone that catches their eye and their opinion.  People LOVE to be asked what they think !

3) Park. Where do single people hang out at lunchtime when they don’t have anywhere else to go?  That’s right, the park!  Take a packed lunch and enjoy the sunshine. If noting more, it’s a great chance to people watch.

4) Bus Stop or Train Station.   Nobody likes waiting for public transport and it can be incredibly dull.  All you have to do is walk up to someone you fancy and ask if they’ve been waiting long – instant conversation starter!

5) Attend a Seminar or a Talk.  Many people go to these on their own and there are plenty of chances to chat before, during and afterwards.  You can find information about these in Metro or your local free newspaper.

Good luck!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

Hey Mr DJ – a quick survey

Monday, May 17th, 2010

We know that we can’t please everyone, but we definitely take on board everything our guests say.

So we’d like to hear your thoughts about DJs and our big Saturday parties.


We hear two common things at the events:

a) Why isn’t there a DJ?  I want to dance!


b) The DJ is too loud, I want to talk to people!
So what do you think we should do?   Is dancing or talking the most important thing to you?

Please take  a second to let us know.  If you have any further comments or suggestions please email us directly at [email protected]

James Preece – The Dating Guru

New Live Chat Feature

Saturday, May 15th, 2010

update – as of 18th May we have temporarily removed the chat feature as it is slowing the site down. Please bear with us.


After many requests our live chat feature went live on Friday.

This is a beta version, which means that it’s still under development – its almost impossible for us to test until its under full use. If you get the chance to use it, please send your feedback to us. email [email protected]

To use the chat you must be  Premium member and you can chat with any other Premium member. If you are a Premium Plus member, you can invite anyone, including basic members to chat.

You can see who is online, from the profile view once logged in. You can have up to two sessions running concurrently.

This chat is a new feature under development. So I must say that  it doesn’t yet form any part of your agreement with us at the moment. Let us know how you get on.


Paul Ergatoudis


How to Work a Room

Thursday, May 13th, 2010

Any party or event is an amazing opportunity to meet new people but I know it can often seem a bit scary.

Some people find it really hard to do this so I’m going to give you some great tips to help.


Guests worry they will left on their own or even worse, they will get stuck chatting with the same group of people all night.

This doesn’t have to be the case at all. Keep in mind that people who attend these events are generally open to talking to you.

If they hated the idea of making new contacts they’d just stay at home wouldn’t they? It’s not like going up to a random person in a bar – you already have something common.This can be a mutual friend, hobby or just the very fact you all quite fancied the idea of coming along.

The very first thing you should do, once you’ve made your entrance and got yourself settled, is do a quick scan of the moment.  See who you might be interested in and who is already talking to who.    It will also help to make note of where the bar and toilets are so you make a hasty exit if it become necessary.

When you’ve got a drink, carry it in your left hand which will keep your right hand free for the initial handshake.  There’s nothing worse that offering a freezing hand or having to juggle your drinks.

Then all you have to do is go up to someone and say “Hello, I’m ———.  Is this your first time?”     The ice is quickly broken and you’ll have something to chat about.   Stay away from asking closed questions that only require a one or two word answer and don’t outstay your welcome.

Finally, try and speak to as many people as possible. Even if you aren’t attracted to them it’s always useful to introduce yourself.  You never know how they might be able to help you and it’s better to talk to “anyone” rather than look lost.   You’ll also be able to sneak yourself into any conversations they are having later!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Your most popular questions

Tuesday, May 11th, 2010

We tend to get the same questions every day so here are some of our answers to the most popular ones.


1) Why isn’t anyone sending me messages?

We get asked this question a LOT.   You need to contact people, not the other way around!

Not proactively sending 5 to 10 new messages per week is like joining a gym and not going – Even members who get lots of emails still need to be proactive to target the people they want, rather than the members who tend to send out lots of messages.

We have loads of new members joining each month, so you should easily find 10 to 20 people you like, to message/wink/add to favourites each month. Oh and have some great photos and log in regularly too to boost your chances.

2) I dont look my age. Can I come to the younger parties?

We must get asked this question every day.

It’s funny how everyone tells us how “people think they are ten years younger.” What they are forgetting is that this isn’t the point. It’s irrelevant how you look – our members are paying to meet people in the correct age categories.

We have to have age limits in place for the good of everyone. Guests need to be within a certain age range to make sure they only meet suitable people.

Having said that, we can sometimes be a little flexible on age limits. If the average age of the guests if higher than average then we might be able to let a few people in.

3) Why can’t I pay for one message at a time?

No, for many reasons! This is a bit like going into a supermarket and asking to buy an egg. It costs a lot of money to develop and run the site and as such we have to charge for it. If we allowed people to buy just one credit or reply to one message then it would simply have to cost about the same as a one month membership. The second reason is that we absolutely want you to have dating success. This means you needs to take control and message a lot of people. The more effort you put into it then the more results you will have.

4) Can you tell me why women’s tickets are more expensive that the male ones?

Generally speaking they aren’t – the prices are the same. It’s just that the earlier you book then the cheaper the tickets. As women buy earlier than men then tickets go up in price quicker so it just appears.

However, for some events it’s supply and demand and we have to take action to ensure even ratios. It’s always worth remembering that we always charge more for last minute tickets if they are available so booking early is always the best police.

5)  Do you get many successes?

Absolutely We get many success stories each day.  We find that people who are the right calibre and proactive will soon meet someone. Always remember to keep positive, realistic and make sure you are the best “you” possible.

James Preece – The Dating Guru

The Single Solution Party

Thursday, May 6th, 2010

While the UK is gripped with Election Fever, we thought it might be fun to think what we’d do if we ran the country.

Here, for your entertainment, is the Single Solution Party Manifesto:


“A country is at its best when the bonds between people are strong and when we love each other. Today the challenges facing Singles in Britain are immense. Our society is overwhelmed by nauseating lovey dovey couples, single supplements and nagging parents. But these problems can be overcome if we pull together and work together. If we remember that we are all in this together.

Some politicians say: ‘give us your vote and we will sort out all your problems’. We say:  We can help you get more dates. More dates means more fun and more adventure.

Yes, this is ambitious. Yes,  it is optimistic. But in the end everything is just politicians’ words without you and your involvement.

How will we expect to find love unless we understand that we are all in this together? How will  you get more matches unless every single adult spreads the word about our website ? How will we revitalise the dating world unless people stop asking “When will Mr or Miss Right come to me” and start asking ‘What can I do to find them?’ Britain will change for the better when we all elect to take part, to take responsibility for our own dating lives – if we all come together. Collective strength will overpower our problems.

Only together can we can we have bigger, better singles parties. Only together can we grow the Single Solution Database.  Only Together can we teach people the secrets of what men and women really ought to know about each other. Together we can make dating work . And if we can do that, we can do anything. Yes, together we can do anything.

We promise to bring down the costs of Dating by giving every Single professional £1000 tax breaks.  We promise to end Single Supplements on holidays.  We promise to keep thinking up new ideas for our Singles Parties and to constantly innovate our Online Dating Site.  We promise to help you find a partner…..

So our invitation today is this: join us, to form a new kind of government for Britain.

Join us – the Single Solution Party. ”



How to use the telephone

Thursday, May 6th, 2010

Some people can get nervous when it comes to talking to a potential date on the telephone.  Instead, they’d rather just text or email until the first date.  However, it’s really nothing to be scared of and the telephone can be used to your advantage if you know how!


1) The telephone forces you to lose one of your most power senses – eye contact.  The other person can’t see you nodding your approval or shaking your head so you need to make up for this.  Instead say things like “I hear you” and “I agree” and they’ll know you are both in sync.

2) Keep the first conversation short.  I always suggest you limit your first chat to ten minutes.   Use it to mainly just to establish a first date.  If you spend two hours chatting away before you’ve even met, what will you talk about when you finally do?

3) Treat the call as if you are auditioning.   Imagine they are sat opposite you and overact!   Even though they can’t see you, if you gesture when you speak it will make you sound more engaging.   I find that standing up helps you sound your best as it’s easier to breathe.

4) Most importantly – smile!     Try saying this line out loud now  “I’m having a wonderful day.”   Say it three times, once with no expression, once with a big grin and once with frown.  Do you see how smiling can lift your mood and makes you sound so much friendlier?

5) Work the answerphone.  This tip is valid for when you leave a message as well as your own voicemail recording.    The last thing you want is for somebody to be turned off just because of your ten second message.  Keep it simple, warm and friendly. No gimmicks, no sound effect and no jokes.    Smile when you record it and keep it short and sincere.

James Preece – The Dating Guru