Archive for 2012

Happy Festive Season

Thursday, December 20th, 2012

The team

wishes you a very happy Holidays



We hope you have a lovely break and enjoy the last few days of 2012.


James, Paul, Meera and Kuldeep




Christmas Dating Facts: Mistletoe

Monday, December 17th, 2012

Have you ever wondered why

we put up Mistletoe at Christmas?

Mistletoe is most often used as a Christmas decoration, although it’s only been common since the 18th CenturyIn ancient times the Druids believed that mistletoe would bring good luck and health which is why they put it up.

According to custom, the mistletoe must not touch the ground between it’s cutting and it’s removal as the last of Christmas greens at Candlemas.  It doesn’t necessarily need to be taken down and it can in fact remain hanging throughout the year.  This is to save  the house from lightning or fire, until it is replaced the following Christmas Eve.

According to ancient Christmas custom, a man and a woman who meet under a hanging of mistletoe are obliged to kiss to boost their chances of marriage.  The custom may be Scandinavian, but nobody knows for sure.

So remember to look out for some mistletoe while you are out and about over the festive season.  It might just boost your chances.  Just make sure you don’t eat it as it can be poisonous!

Happy dating!

James Preece  – The Dating Guru


Our latest engagement!

Monday, December 3rd, 2012

We are delighted to tell you

about yet another engagement!

“Both Amit and I have been members of Asian Single Solution for the last few months and have been looking actively. My profile came up in Amit’s smart search and he sent me the first message. That was the day after Hurricane Sandy happened in America (before you start wondering what has that got to do with this, let me explain…Our work email servers are in NY so due to the hurricane, our systems and emails were down so I had practically nothing to do at work).

I logged on to the site, read Amit’s message, looked at his profile and there was no looking back..

As for the first date, we decided to meet for lunch and ended up spending the whole day together. I knew after we finished lunch (which was only couple of hours after I first laid eyes on him) that Amit is the one.

We realised very early on that we think alike and most of all wanted the same things from our respective partners and life in general. We are going to India next week to be with our families and hopefully will have a date for the wedding very soon.

Thank you to ASS and the entire team for bringing us together!

Amit and Ekta.”


We’d like to pass our congratulations on the happy couple!

James and Paul

New success stories and feedback

Sunday, November 18th, 2012

Here are out very latest

Feedbacks and Success Stories


As we approach the end of 2012 it’s wonderful that we still get daily success stories and positive feedbacks from our members.  It’s lovely to be able to share them with you as it shows how useful the site is.

There are so many it is impossible to list them all. Here are just a small selection of the most recent:

“Great site thank you again” PS
“I really enjoyed the event i came to! thats guys for arranging it!”  RG
“Its a good service and will use again if I am single again” CG
9-11-12 “I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single”.RD
7-11-23 “I met someone and now want to cancel membership” RK
6-11-12  “I met someone: Nice site” RK
31-10-12 “I met someone: it was helpful”
31-10-12 “found my partner through your site. ” AS
17-10-31 “I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single:  Very good!” KK

If you have your own please do let us know!
Best Wishes,

James and Paul

Is the media ruining our chances of happiness?

Tuesday, November 6th, 2012

Do celebrities have more

luck when it comes to dating?

Every day we see many tv shows, newspapers and magazines that present us with images of happy, beautiful couples.

We love to read bout the latest showbiz couples and find out which celebrities are dating each other.  Even if you don’t buy these magazines, you can bet that many people you know do.

The trouble is that this gives a very twisted version of reality.  These airbrushed images can either ruin our own body image or make us think we should all be dating supermodels.  We begin to reject perfectly lovely matches with the false hope that George Clooney or Aishwarya Rai will magically become interested in us.  This can completely ruin any chance of meeting a “real” person.

Celebrities don’t have it any easier than us.  Yes, they might be have the money but they’ve lost their anonymity. Every time they walk out their front door to go on a date, the cameras are there watching them.  Can you imagine how hard it is to get to know someone they might be like?

So my advice to you is to remember to be realistic and don’t always believe everything you see.   Stop thinking about the impossible and focus on taking the opportunities that could lead to you meeting someone more accessible.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Happy Halloween!

Wednesday, October 31st, 2012

We’d like to wish all our members

a very Happy Halloween!


We hope it’s full of lots of treats and very few tricks.


James and Paul




How to get twice as many views

Monday, October 29th, 2012

Here’s a quick tip

to double your viewers

Online dating is an amazing way to meet people, but everyone has different tastes.  So they might see your photo and decide you are not for them.  When they log back in they’ll remember they weren’t interested and move on the next person, which can make you invisible.

There’s one very simple thing you can do to boost your chances.  Change your photo!  By doing this you might give the impression that you are a completely new person. If they weren’t keen before then they might like  your new photo better.  If you were looking away in the first one then try a smiling at the camera shot.   Or maybe something completely different.

I’d suggest you rotate your photo every two or three weeks.  If you notice that one is having more success that others then stick with that a little longer.

If you’ve been in contact with a few people and things are going well, don’t change anything or it will just confuse them!

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Are you dating a serial dater?

Monday, October 22nd, 2012

Dating can give you a real buzz

but for some it’s an addiction!

A serial dater is a person who loves dating so much that they keep going on dates with different people rather than commit to one.  If you are serious about meeting someone then it’s very important that you don’t end up wasting your time on them.

Here are three top ways that you can tell whether or not someone might be a serial dater.

1) You can’t seem to pin them down.   If you date is always too busy to see you or keeps cancelling, then think hard about what’s really going on. They might tell you that work has got in the way or “personal matters” have come up, but the truth is that they would make time if they were really interested in you.

2) They only get in touch every now and again.  Perhaps you don’t hear from them for weeks, then out of the blue you get a “how are you?” text.   This is just the sign of a bored time waster. They’ve run out of other dating options so they thought they’d try and see if you were still keen.  Even if you reply or meet they will disappear again once they get a better offer.  So don’t reply and instead delete their number and find someone more deserving.

3)  They forget what you’ve talked about.  The trouble with dating lots of people at the same time is that it’s easy to forget things.  So you might notice they get things like dates, names and places confused or think they’ve told you something they haven’t.

Remember that it’s perfectly acceptable to be a serial dater when it comes to having lots of first dates.  However, when things start to get serious then you both need to stop seeing anyone else or it will never work out.


Good luck!

James Preece – the Dating Guru

Our latest Feedback

Monday, October 15th, 2012

Here are our latest Feedbacks

and Success Stories

We love to hear how everyone is getting on using the site.

Here you can find a few recent quotes and feedback that we’ve had about the site.

“Cannot fault this site as met my partner. thank you” DD

“Great site- enojoyed the time” RP

“I’ve met my partner here on!” JB

“Site was very good and I would recommend it to anyone who is looking for a partner” SG

“A good way of connecting with people.” CK

“Tarot card reader was good! And the hosts Steve, Nick and James were, as usual, brilliant! My cousin met his other half on here and got married to her last month”  TK

“Great service and it’s well organised, very happy overall. ” DJ

“Great service. Its amazing how many genuine people it attracts. This is especially true of my wonderful girlfriend who i found on the site! ” SH

“Services were excellent.” RM


If you have your own success story, don’t keep it to yourself. Please email us at [email protected]

Happy Dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

WIN – 2 VIP tickets for BritAsia TV Music Awards

Friday, October 5th, 2012

Asiansinglesolution is sponsoring

the Best Male Act at the Awards

To celebrate, we have 2 VIP tickets to give away to a lucky member and a friend.

The event will take place TOMORROW, 6th October 2012 – NIA Birmingham.  Event starts at 7pm.

To enter, there are two steps you must take:

1) LIKE our  Facebook page  –  CLICK HERE

2) Email us at   [email protected]   with your name, username on the site and a phone number.

Winner will be selecteed later today.

Please note that you may be asked to pay a small deposit to ensure you attend.  This will be refunded on the night.

Good luck!


The awards ceremony will feature unprecedented performances by many A-list artists and recognise the best of British Asian music.

Receiving a BATV Music Award will be the highest accolade for any Artist and the top Male Act is no exception.  This will be awarded to the male act judged to have made the biggest impact over the last 12 months.

The awards ceremony will be the biggest event of it’s kind and is sure to set new standards in the industry. This tremendous showcase will unveil the greatest artistic talent within the British Asian music scene.

Don’t miss it!

James and Paul

Why you should give them a second look

Monday, October 1st, 2012

Take a look at this picture

What do you see?

There are two ways of seeing this photo, depending on how your mind is working at that one particular moment.  The same is true for any photo that we see, including online dating pictures.

We often scan 1000s of images in a split second, working out who we like the look of and who we don’t.  So you won’t even get as far as reading their profile to see find out if you are a a good match or not.  This can work against us and ruin our chances of meeting people.  Perhaps you have ruled them out because they aren’t smiling or because they dont’ seem your type.

The truth is that everyone can look completely different in a variety of photos. So even if you aren’t sure about the first, you should give them a chance and see if they have another shot in their album. If you do, there might be one that you prefer.  If you aren’t that photogenic then you should definitely add more photos to your profile for this reason.

Albums can be a great icebreaker too as you can comment on things that most people will miss.  It could be that there is a photograph from a place you have visited or you could tell them you like the top they are wearing.  These little things will make you stand out from all the other messages.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

New Asian Speed Dating Ideas

Monday, September 24th, 2012

Tired of being asked the same questions?

Try these two fun alternatives

Speed dating is a great way to meet lots of potential new partners in a short space of time.   It’s normal to spend your session by talking and getting to know each other, but this can become boring quite quickly if you do it wrong.  Recent studies have shown that there are two better ways to handle speed dating that will get you much faster results.

So here are two new ideas that you can try:

1)Guess the picture. This is great fun but you need to bring a pad of paper with you.  One of you will think of an object and the other has to guess what it might be and draw it on the paper. This can be a great way to increase attraction.

2) Eye Gazing.    You don’t speak for this one, but instead spend the three minutes staring in to each other’s eyes.  This encourages a deeper connection and you might get surprising results once the initial amusement is over.

It’s a great idea to combine both these activities. However, you still need to introduce yourself and follow up afterwards.  They will hopefully already be looking forward to finding out more about the creative person with the wonderful imagination!


Happy dating!

James Preece

The Dating Guru

Photos and Feedback from the Birthday Ball

Tuesday, September 18th, 2012

Our birthday ball was our best ever

with over 260 guests


Thank you to everyone who helped make our 10th Birthday Ball such a huge success.  We had well over 260 guests booked up and an even mix of professional Hindu & Sikh men and women.

We ran double speed dating and played a new “London” themed Icebreaker.

Entertainment was provided by our amazing Lady Gaga tribute and Celebrity Magician Ravi Mayar who both proved to be extremely popular.  The canapes and food also went down extremely well.

We also had cupcakes provided by the Cupcake Cake, raising over £100 for charity.  We’ll be passing that on later this week.
We had a professional photographer in for the event and you can see the rest of her photos on our Facebook page.  If you see yourself, please do tag yourself in and LIKE it!

Facebook page HERE

There have already been some great feedback from the party:

“For my first time I really enjoyed the evening. It was nice to see lots of British Sikh and Hindu’s in the same place . I felt relaxed the whole evening and stayed till the end”

“Nice, good rooms and plenty of seating”

“Brilliant music and entertainment.  We love it – thank you!”

“Inclusion of canapes – Good value for money”

If you have your own please do remember to emails us so we can make our events even better in future.
Here to the next ten years!

James and Paul

What’s your biggest age gap?

Sunday, September 9th, 2012

Age gaps are big news right now

How much is too much?


There’s been a lot of news recently about celebrities relationships that have huge age gaps.  For example,  56 year old X Factor Star Wagner is about to become a father again with his 20 year old girlfriend.  Then there’s Kristen Stewart ( 22) and her affair with Film Director Rupert Sanders (41.)   A large age gap used to be taboo but it’s becoming increasingly more common and acceptable.

I’d love to hear what you think about this, especially when it comes to Asian relationships.

My own thoughts are that age gap relationships CAN work, as long as you ignore what everyone else thinks.  After all, once you go past 30 then things will naturally even out a bit.  Never try and pretend that there isn’t a difference in age.  Instead enjoy the new adventures and opportunities that it can bring.  One of you will have more life experience that the other, but the younger one can bring renewed energy and excitement.

There will be obstacles that you’ll need to overcome of course, such as differing financial considerations, whether you want children and making sure you have similar values and ambitions.

So I ask you:

1) What’s the biggest age gap you’ve ever had in a relationship?

2)  What advice and tips can you offer someone in a similar situation?

3) What would be the largest age gap that you’d ever consider?

Please add your comments to the blog!  Thank you.


Happy dating!

James Preece – the Dating Guru

Another success!

Monday, September 3rd, 2012

We have news of another great match


Congratulations to them both!


Here is yet another success story that reached us this week.  We wanted to share this with you so you can see that the site really works.

“Thanks to Asian Single Solutions I have found my soul mate.
Deeps11 and SmilinSun first made contact on 16th April 2012 and have been together ever since. We are very much in love and are delighted to inform you that we are getting engaged towards the end of this year.
I would recommend your site to all as we are living proof that dreams can come true.
Please find attached a small souvenir.
Carry on the good work and thanks again! “
If you have your own success story then please do let us know.  We love to hear about your matches – so don’t be shy – let us know!
You can email us at [email protected]
Best Wishes,
James and Paul

Latest Feedback and Success Stories

Tuesday, August 28th, 2012

Here are our July Feedbacks

and Success Stories

After the Olympics, we are pleased to tell you about our own successes!   Here you can find a few recent quotes and feedback that we’ve had about the site.

“Great site and met some wonderful people!” P.S

“Fantastic idea of hosting events, good interactive website with professionals” YS

“Brilliant website and well run” EP

“Good and well sought out, look forward to attending some events” RH

“Good advice & blogs” GJ

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single Feed back : Good site :) and good events” RC

“Good website,easy to use,better calibre of profiles compared to other sites.” RP

“Events were excellent,I met my current partner at a speed dating event. thank you” RH

“Very good – the events were a lot of fun although I met someone on your website!” GM

“Cannot fault this site as met my partner. thank you” DD

“Very good idea, must be a good way to meet new people and more importantly hopefully the right person.” RJ

“I think the site is really good and the events are a good opportunity to meet someone.” PD

“I am pleased to say that I met a great guy on ASS and we are getting married next May:))” RS

“Good service and monitoring of profiles. Events are well organised as well with lots of helpful staff.” SM


If you have your own success story, we’d love to hear it.  Please email us at [email protected]

Happy Dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Announcing our 10th Birthday Spectacular Singles Ball

Monday, August 20th, 2012

The Single Solution Brand is 10 years old

To celebrate we have a birthday ball
Our Birthday ball will take place at Amber Bar ( formerly known as Digress City) and we have the whole venue to ourselves. So we want this to be the biggest, best singles party that we’ve ever had.

To ensure this, we are spending every penny of the profits on making sure that we have fantastic entertainment and lots of extra.

This will include an amazing Lady Gaga Tribute Band, optional speed dating, complimentary canapes, magician Ravi Mayar, a NEW icebreaking game and much more!

There will be lots of special extras throughout the night. In fact, the sooner you book then the more treats we can arrange.

We’ll be asking everyone to dress up and make an effort for this. It is our landmark birthday party after all.

Tickets are starting off at an incredibly low £10 to encourage early bookings, but they must go up to £25 very shortly.


Please do tell your single friends about this so you can all come along and celebrate with us

About Lady Gaga Tribute

THE most authentic and exciting Lady Gaga tribute show you will find anywhere in the world. Absolutely not to be missed – a captivating and incredibly entertaining tribute to one of the greatest performers of all time. She can sing just like GaGa, is 100% live AND dance to a professional level.

The Lady Gaga Act will start at 10pm with her dancers.       After this there will be a 45 minute set of pop songs to get you dancing.

We’ve seen them before and they are absolutely fantastic.  You won’t want to miss this.



See you there!

James and Paul

Keep Positive

Monday, August 13th, 2012

How to keep positive

Dating Coach and Dating Expert

when things aren’t going great


I had a few emails after my last “How to Spot a Loser” blog.   Generally people enjoyed it, but one or two said it came across a big negative.  While I like the fact it got people interacting,  that wasn’t my intention.  So today I’ve decided to write today’s blog on the subject of positivity.

Sometimes it can be easy to get frustrated when it come to dates.  If you aren’t meeting the right people then you might start to wonder if something is wrong with you and if you will ever meet someone.

So here’s some good news:


1) If you are proactive and positive you WILL find someone.   You just need to turn off that annoying voice in your head that makes you think negative thoughts like “I will never meet anyone”.  Replace it with a louder, stronger voice telling you positive, encouraging statements like “I will meet someone very soon” and “They will be lucky to have me.”


2) Enjoy the process.  Think of each date as a wonderful new adventure you are about to have.  Try and think out of the box and use the opportunity to try different activities.


3) Don’t set your expectations too high.  Just set out with the intention to have fun and make new friends.  Anything beyond that will be a bonus.


4) Have a life outside dating.  Don’t let all your thoughts and actions be about your dating life.  Keep yourself fit, healthy and active.


5) Get someone to help you.  You don’ t have to do it on your own, so ask a friend for their advice.  If you would like me to work with you to start getting great results then you can contact me via the website below.



Happy dating!

James Preece

The Dating Guru


Celebrity Dating Advice Kristen Stewart

Monday, August 6th, 2012

If you get caught cheating

Is it better to apologise privately or publicly?

That’s the dilemma that Kristen Stewart faced this week after she’s been caught cheating on her boy friend Robert Pattinson.   She decided that since the media has turned on her and made her infidelity so public, she had not choice but to do the same with her apology.  But if you were ever in the same situation, what should you do?

An apology is the most important thing after an affair, followed by an explanation. You’ll be judged by everyone that knows you both, so if they are aware of the infidelity then you need to make a very public apology.  If nobody else knows, there’s no need to make matters worse so keep it private as you don’t want others interfering. This is not about you making yourself feel better, but helping put things right.

Your partner will be deeply hurt, angry and confused, but they will want to see you try to make things right.  It can be hard to express this face to face with so much emotion, so write them a letter instead.  Put down everything you want to say, explain your actions and make it clear it will never happen again.  Then give them time to read it and come to terms with what has happened.

Sometimes affairs are good for a relationship, as it gives you both a chance to start again. A “new moon” as it were.  However, you’ll never quite rebuild the trust you had in the first place.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Safety First

Monday, July 23rd, 2012

Online dating is great fun, and if you are using you could be one of hundreds of annual success stories,

but you still need to be careful when meeting people you don’t know.


It’s always very important that you remember to plan your date carefully and follow basic safety rules.  Most people are going to be normal, but as with anything you should always have your guard up for the tiny minority who are not.  It’s all common sense but it can be easy to overlook these things if you get on well before you meet.

1)Always meet in a public place. This the golden rule.  Meet somewhere where there are lots of people.

2) Tell a friend or family member where you are going.  You can even get them to call you at a certain time to make sure you are OK.  If you change venues, update them with a quick text.

3)  Never get into a car with someone you don’t know.  Don’t let them pick you up from your home and don’t accept a lift.  Instead, make your own way to the venue.

4) Don’t drink too much.  Always know your limits so you can make sure that you stay in control.

5) If something seems wrong – leave. You should never feel pressurised into doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable.  If your date genuinely has your best feelings at heart, they will want you to be happy.   Never be afraid to walk out if things don’t feel right.

You could always arrange to meet your date at one of our Hindu and Sikh parties.

Happy dating,
James Preece – the Dating Guru

Technical issue this morning

Sunday, July 22nd, 2012

Sunday 22nd July 2012

Dear members

Last night there was a technical issue which caused parts of the database to fail.
This would have meant that those who tried to access their accounts this morning would not have been able to do so.

This issue is now resolved and we apologise for any inconvenience.

A minority of users may have lost some messages from late last night. We have taken a backup of these so if you need these please let us know. This is a bad time for us as we are on annual leave and I’ve just dropped my laptop! Worst possible time.

A few people have emailed because they are concerned about personal data. I just wish to confirm that credit card data is not stored anywhere on our systems.

I personally thank you for your patience and loyalty.


Paul Ergatoudis

Announcing our “Summer of Love” 2012 Hindu & Sikh Party

Monday, July 16th, 2012

Our Summer of Love parties are always popular

This year we are making it bigger and better than ever!

So far this Summer has been a bit of a washout. But this doesn’t mean the same has to be true for your love life.   We’ve been running our special “Summer of Love” themed parties over the last 5 years and they are some of our best loved.

We’ve decided to make this the best Summer of Love yet, so to fight the bad weather we are arranging some special treats for this event.


The party will take place at the wonderful Abbey in Victoria – our most popular event.

We’ll have a slightly wider age group than usual for the event, to make sure we get a big crowd.  However, we’ll be running our optional speed dating sessions in age appropriate groups.

This party will be sponsored by PJR Mini Creations – aka the Cupcake King.  So do watch our for your complimentary cupcakes.  They really are spectacular and won’t last long!

For your entertainment we have top covers band “The Vibes” playing later in the evening. The Vibes are a high energy party band from the South East established over five years ago in 2007. They play a wide selection of music from all eras with all the party classics from the last 60 years.  They are guaranteed to get you dancing.

As well as all this we will a NEW ice breaking game and our very best hosts working to get you mingling and meeting everyone.

So don’t delay – book right now as this event will soon sell out.    The busier it gets then the more bonuses we can add on.


James and Paul

How to spot a loser

Monday, July 9th, 2012

Are you dating a loser?

Find out how to spot one right now.

The Dating Pool is made up of a wide variety of people. Most are lovely, thoughtful individuals but there are of course a few who are a little more “unrefined.”    So can you tell who is who before you waste too much time?

To help, there are some simple steps you can take to filter out these idiots.  If you have your doubts then ask yourself these questions:
1) How are they with their friends and family?  If you are wary, watch how they act with them before introducing them to any of yours

2) What are their texts like?   If they can’t spell or take the time to send you nice messages, that’s a good indication they are not a keeper.

3) Is their glass half full or half empty?  Negative people are more likely to be clueless interacting with others and will only get you feeling low too. Only date those that are ambitious, passionate and positive.

4) Have you read their Facebook profile?   Take a good look at their wall posts, friend interactions and photos.  These can reveal so much more than they’d like you to know.

5) Are they affectionate?  If they are more likely to hug a teddy bear or an Xbox controller than you, there’s not much point pursuing a relationship.


Do you have your own ways to avoid time wasters and losers?  Add your thoughts here to help everyone else!

Happy dating,

James Preece  – The Dating Guru

Recent Feedback and Successes

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2012

We’ve had another great month

Please read our latest feedback


We believe that sharing our feedback and success stories helps other members realise that our dating site really does work.  If someone else can do it, what’s stopping you?

Here are some recent emails:

“Very good!  JK

“Thank you for your advice it has been most helpful!!! Really appreciate it!!”  RB

“Good site and well organised” KP

“Great services and a  great team.” AK

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single
Feed back : Great site!” DL

“So far I’m been very impressed with the quality of the members.  More choice than I ever dreamed of!”   VP

“Great way to meet and socialise ” CN

“Great site!” CG

“Very good website and user friendly.” RC

“I think it is a great website and it will be something that I will be using again in the near future.” SG

“Great site keep up the good work! Thanks ” BM

“Good site plenty of extras” VK

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single
Feed back : Good service!” BL

“Keep up the good work..”  HM

“Very high level of customer service” SB


If you have your own feedback that you’d like to share with us please email it to  [email protected]


Happy dating!
James Preece – The Dating Guru featured in Asian Woman Magazine

Monday, June 25th, 2012

Check out this month’s Asian Woman Magazine


Special tips for the 50th issue.

Asian Single Solution are featured in the latest edition of Asian Woman Magazine. The Dating Guru,  James Preece answers online dating problems and gives some extremely useful tips and advice on how to avoid online dating cliches.

Click Here for article

Dating Guru Mailbag : Does it matter how many winks and emails I get?

Monday, June 18th, 2012

Here’s a letter to the Dating Guru

which you might find useful


“Dear James,  I seem to be proving popular on as I’ve had 100 emails and over 200 winks.  However, I’ve not met anyone perfect yet.  Can you give me any advice to increase my chances?  Thanks, K”

Hi K,

Thank you for your email.  It’s great that you have had so many winks and emails as it shows you are doing something right.  You’ve put some effort in to making sure you’ve got a decent photograph and profile so it’s clearly working.  However, you are making one fatal error – you haven’t initiated any contact yourself!

It really doesn’t matter how many people wink at you, add you to favourites or send you emails if they aren’t great matches.  If you want to be successful then you need to take control. Contact the members that YOU like the look of, not the other way round.   I always say this, but you must be proactive if you want to get good results.   By making contact yourself then you are initiating correspondence with quality people that are a great match for you.

By the way, Winking isn’t a great strategy. It comes across as lazy as it appears you can’t be bothered to to write a proper message.  It doens’t make anyone feel special and you run the risk of turning someone off before you’ve even spoken.  Every now and again it can work, providing you follow up with a message once you can see they’ve viewed your profile.



Good luck!


James Preece – The Dating Guru

Dating Guru Mailbag: Confidence is holding me back

Monday, June 11th, 2012

Here’s another question for the Dating Guru

Is it something you can relate to?

“Dear James,  please can you help?

I’m 22 and I’m starting to feel down that I’m not meeting anyone.  I joined which was great, but I met one man who put me off dating.  I feel closed off as I’m not very confident so I turn down invitations when friends ask me to go out with them.   What can I do? !”

Hi N,

Thank you for your question.

22 is too young to worry too much about having to “find someone” and settle down. If you spend too much time analysing each potential partner and stressing that you aren’t meeting the right people then you’ll make things worse. Instead, you should be focusing on having fun just dating men you think you might get on with.

Here’s my advice for you:

1) Accept every opportunity you get to go out and meet new people.   If your friends ask you to go out then go – you never know who might be there.  Open yourself up to new possibilities rather than being scared of them.

2) Try online dating again.  Don’t let one bad experience ruin it for you.  There are so many decent men, but you need to be proactive about contacting the ones you like rather than waiting for them to find you.   Don’t give up if some don’t write back as everyone likes different types.  Just stay proactive and contact at least 5 new men each day.


3) Attend a few singles parties.  The younger events often sell out faster for men, so you’ll have lots of choice!   If you need help, ask the hosts and they’ll make sure you feel confident and positive.

4) Do let you confidence be an issue.  Most people are shy, especially when it comes to be trying new things.  The more dates you have then the better you’ll get as you’ll become more relaxed.

Remember, dating is an adventure so play the game and see where it takes you.

Good luck!

If you’d like more in depth help then please do take a look at my website:


Twenty Top Turn Offs for Women

Monday, June 4th, 2012

Are you making a big dating mistake?

Here’s what women hate!

If you aren’t having much luck when it comes to holding down a relationship then there could be a good reason for this.  A recent survey featured the most annoying turn offs that men have.  Here are the results which you will hopefully find interesting..  See any that you are guilty of?


TOP 20 Turn Off’s for women

1. Not getting on with her family

2. Using her toothbrush

3. Leaving the toilet dirty

4. Hating her friends

5. Not being good with children

6. Being lazy

7. Having a big bushy beard that you never shave

8. Leaves nail clippings out

9. Driving like a boy racer

10. Being grumpy

11. Being a mummy’s boy

12. Using the toilet with the door open

13. Leaving dirty washing on the floor

14. Unkempt facial hair

15. Criticising her driving

16. Burping or farting

17. Not liking dogs

18. Not helping with washing up

19. Watching too much sport

20. Not helping with the cooking

Of course, nobody is perfect so if a few of these ring thrue then that’s quite acceptable.  However, if you do more than four things wrong from this list then you should do your very best to make more of an effort.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

How to be Charismatic

Sunday, May 27th, 2012

Charisma is a useful quality

Especially when it comes to dating

Would you like to me more charming and encourage others to warm to you quickly? I’m sure it’s a skill that we’d all like to have.

The actual word charisma comes from the Greek term for “gift of grace” and that sums it up very nicely. It generally means that the person is seen as more like-able as is someone that people admire and want to be associate themselves with.

Charisma is a rare, almost magical quality and it’s a strength that many successful people have.

The good news is that it’s definitely something you can learn and develop. Even a small improvement would make a huge amount of difference. You’ll end up with more positive dates and better interactions with everyone you meet each day.

Here are my quick “Dating Guru” tips to help you:

1) Which celebrities do you think have the gift of charisma? Think about how they act, speak, walk and behave. You’ll begin to notice little tricks that they do that make them stand out from the crowd. So all you need to do is copy this behaviour. You can’t fake charisma but after a while you’ll learn better habits and it will come naturally to you.

2) Smile always. Positivity and enthusiasm always come through smiling. Even if you aren’t feeling it, force yourself to smile and your mood will turn quickly.

3) Show empathy. Be a great listener and show that you care about other people. Leave people in a better state of mind than when you found them.

4) Be strong. Charismatic people are always firm and stick to what they believe in. Stand up straight and don’t fold your arms.

5) Learn to relax. Keep calm and enjoy the moment and others around you will do the same.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Basic User Permission Changes

Monday, May 21st, 2012

Today, we have made some changes to the Basic user Permissions.

We are proud of our database, which is both high quality and very active. In April 2012 our members generated 200,000 yes, that’s two hundred thousand interactions between profiles.

A Basic free profile is offered to anyone, so that they can properly evaluate the database of these members or attend events. So to enhance this opportunity, we have now made these features free to Basic users.

– View Photo Albums

– Advanced Searches

This will enable potential members to have a good look around the site before membership purchase, to check that we do indeed have lots of opportunities.

There is a little give and take.  We have made the following features available to paying members only.

– See who has viewed your profile

– See who has winked at you

– See who has added you to favourites

If you are just a basic user, consider that now is the best time to upgrade your membership and start sending out messages. Our database has never been busier and now offers more opportunities than ever.

A final note about Premium Plus

One final point about our PremiumPlus membership. If you do wish to engage with basic profiles, then we do have the “Reply Paid” message feature. This is available to PremiumPlus members. Reply Paid means anyone can read and reply even if they just have a basic profile.

Click Here to upgrade now.
Enjoy the site, and best of luck with your dating.

Our fabulous feedback and Success Stories

Monday, May 14th, 2012

Here are some of our latest feedbacks and successes

We hope you enjoy them

We love hearing all about your success stories. Not only do they make our day, they help encourage all our other members to keep going. So here are some of the latest ones.

“I’m really happy with your service. will def recommend.” AC

“Thank you for helping me find ‘the one’.” NS

“I have enjoyed some of the events and may attend with my friends sometimes. Staff at events have been lovely. Thanks” AF

“I’ve met a few people from this site and would recommend it to others ! VP

“Speed dating events well organised” DR

“Very impressive site and very simple to use” KA

“The site is a good way to meet people outside your normal social circle. Met some nice guys” AP

“Very useful thank you very much!” JP

” I met someone at one of your events, and am no longer single
Feed back : Good, met some great mates” JI

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single
Feed back : Thank you for your services! ” RB

“Just when I was about to give up, Miss Right winked at me. Thanks……….” MR

“The service you provide is excellent and would use this site again and have recomended to friends ” SN

“Fabulous service, met lovely man on 2nd event i went to in London, been with him 3 mths and its fabulous. keep up the good work, this works!!” HD

If you have your own success story then we’d love to hear it. We’ll even send you some champagne if you send us a photo. Please email us now via [email protected]

James and Paul

Dating Guru’s Mailbag

Monday, April 30th, 2012

Here is a dating question answered

by our Dating Coach.


” Hi, I have been to some of your dating events.  I wonder if you can help me?  Sometimes, when I find someone attractive at these events I find some guy is sticking to her like bee to honey. Any tips on how I can get past this guy who is completely glued to the attractive girl? Thanks! ”  M

That’s a good question.  It’s something people often ask me, so you’ll be pleased to know I have some answers!

Firstly, remember that you’ve paid to buy a ticket so you have just as much right to talk to these girls as the other men.   So don’t be afraid to go up and say hello, even if you have to (politely) interrupt the other conversation.  She might well be wanting an escape route anyway!

A great way of doing this is to use your icebreaker card.  Have a quick listen to what they are talking about then walk up and ask them both what card they have.  Once conversation is started, you can jump in with your own thoughts.

Also, if you can’t attend with a female friend make sure you use the staff. They are there to help you get dating success.  If you tell them that you would like to meet someone then they can engineer things to make it happen.  Don’t worry, they are highly trained and very subtle.

You should always take part in the speed dating, even if the girl you like isn’t in that particular round.  You will get good conversation practice and you might just meet someone better. Even if you don’t you could possibly make a new female friend who can help you interact with other women.

If you really don’t get a chance to speak to them then make sure you take a note of their username.  You can then email them on the website the next morning.

Finally, make sure that you look like someone women want to meet.  Dress well and look friendly and happy. That way they are more likely to come up and say hi to you.

Good luck!

If you have your own dating question you’d like answered, drop a line to [email protected]
James Preece – Dating Coach


Our latest Success Story to inspire you

Monday, April 23rd, 2012

Congratulations to Manjit and Geeta.

They met from our site and are now a couple.

We love hearing all your success stories, so please do let us know if you make a match!

Here is what our latest couple,  Manjit and Geeta have to say about :

“We physically met just over 6 weeks ago after discovering each other on your website. We connected straight away and already have strong feelings for each another.
It took me 6 months of searching on your website and just when I was about to give up Geeta winked at me.
We’d be happy for you to share our story so far with your members to show that the website does work and theres hope for all.”

We love hearing all your success stories, so please do let us know if you make a match!

Our site really does work – you just have to take the first steps.

If you’ve got your own success story please let us know and we’ll send you a bottle of champagne to celebrate! Email us at [email protected]

Happy dating,


James Preece – The Dating Guru

Be clear about your intentions

Saturday, April 14th, 2012

It’s so easy to get stuck in the friends zone

So here’s a quick tip to avoid it!


You find someone that you like and you ask them if they’d like to join you for a  drink/meal/night out one evening.  You are naturally excited about meeting up and wonder where it might lead.  You have a fantastic night and think that you’d quite like to see them again.  But they hit you with the big bombshell – they thought you were meeting as friends!
So why did this happen?

Well, chances are that you didn’t make it obvious enough that you were both going out on an actual date.   The other person didn’t know what was happening either, so in order to protect themselves from rejection they chose to assume it was a friends thing.

1)  Make sure you make it absolutely crystal clear that you are interested in them and that you’d like to go on a date.

2) Flirt and show them that you are interested.   Touch them on the arm every now and again and make sure you have lots and lots of eye contact.

3) Don’t talk about each others problems. That’s what friends do, not possible dating partners.

4) End the date with a kiss.  If you like them and you got on well, then by all means go in for a kiss.  This is a very clear signal that you aren’t just mates or there for a business meeting.

Good luck!


James Preece – The Dating Guru

A New Asian Single Solution Wedding!

Monday, April 2nd, 2012

We’ve just had news of another wedding.

Read on to find out more.

We were delighted to get this email from one of our members, telling us the good news.

“I was a recent member of your site (just under 2 years ago) and just wanted to let you know, that I am getting married to a girl that I met on your site.  Our Wedding is planned for August”  Rakesh

Hopefully we be able to show you some of the wedding photos.

We’d like to say congratulations to the couple and wish them every happiness.
Could you be next?

James and Paul

Take off your Coat

Monday, March 26th, 2012

If you are attending a party

PLEASE take off your coat!

We have a rule at our parties that everyone must take off their coats before they come in.   This isn’t just our rule, but something many venues are starting to enforce too.   So in today’s blog I’m going to explain why we ask you to do this.

There are three main reasons that we ask you to take off your coats:

1) It makes you look unapproachable.  If you don’t use the cloakroom then it gives the impression that you are just about to leave.  Coats etc just serve as a barrier and block people from coming up and saying hello.  This is the last thing you want at a singles party!

2)You won’t be able to relax.   Do you really want to spend the whole evening walking round holding on to a bag or wearing a coat?  If you do, you are subconsciously telling yourself that you aren’t going to stay very long.  In fact, people who stay wrapped up are almost always the first to leave.

3)  You’ll get hot and might lose something.   Our parties can get really busy and the more people we have then the hotter it’s going to be.  Bags can go missing in the crowd so why don’t you just give it to the cloakroom attendant for safe keeping?


We always make sure that cloakrooms at the venues are either free or just £1.     Don’t forget, they have to pay someone to sit there all night guarding your belongings :)

Happy dating!
James Preece – The Dating Guru

Our wonderful feedback and Successes

Monday, March 19th, 2012

Here are some of our latest feedbacks and successes

We hope they inspire you!

We love hearing all about your success stories. Not only do they make our day, they help encourage all our other members to keep going. So here are some of the latest ones.

“Everything was great. Found a perfect match” HK

“I met someone via your site and we are getting married!! Thank you so much!” NS

“very good site! so glad i found someone, thanks very much :) ” HK

“I think your services are very good thank you very much” NW

“I have met the love of my life, thanks guys for the help!!” SC

“The site is good way to meet people if your shy and it is a safe way to see who is single and also looking for a partner” MK

“”I was a bit skeptical joining a dating website and after meeting with a few guys i was convinced it wasn’t for me. However patience paid off and I am lucky to have met a wonderful man who has simply swept me off my feet. Thank you Asian Single Solution!” RS

“Service is really good” RV

“This has been a great experience and I have found this site to be more useful than others. At the moment I want to see how it goes with someone I have met from here” AG

“Thank you for your service, i have met the woman of my dreams” KB

“Great site, thank you for all you support.” HH

“The website was very user friendly and I would recommend it to anyone” AK

“The services you provide are excellent”  SS

“The service provided is fantastic, thank you for your help” AP

“User friendly site and a good dating service” KG

“Service was good, with easy member interaction.” MV

“It’s a great way of meeting people- i met her years ago and is still going well!” RA

“I think the service is very good and well organised” RM

“Services offered are v good, met some nice people along the way” JS

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single Feed back : Great Website, great events” HB

“Very good and well organised site” SD

“I enjoyed the event that i attended and many thanks for your service” BP

“Very good website, professional – I’ve recommended a lot of friends” RD

“Great site with some good talent. I’ve met a few good prospects on this site, now it’s a matter of seeing which one is right for me :) thanks!”  JR

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single Feed back : excellent service, couldnt have asked for a better site!” RP

If you have your own success story then we’d love to hear it. We’ll even send you some champagne if you send us a photo. Please email us now via [email protected]

James and Paul

New Web Server

Monday, March 12th, 2012

New Extra Hosting power

This morning the website was down for a few hours for planned maintenance.

Some of you may be wondering what we were up to. Well, we have upgraded our hosting solution. So we now have extra power to make run faster than before.


I’m sorry if you couldn’t get on the site this morning but hopefully you will now find the site works better than ever. Please do let us know if you experience any technical issues.

As at 10pm Monday, there appears to be an issue which is causing a slow response time in some cases. We have temporarily suspended the chat feature, to remove unnecessary loads from the server. We are checking this. Unfortunately, moving the sites to a new box can have a few issues. Hopefully, we will get these ironed out within the next few hours. Sorry for any inconvenience.



Paul and the team

A sticky situation

Monday, March 12th, 2012

Today’s blog is all about stickers.

Or rather the namebadges we use at events.

When you sign up on the website, you choose a nickname.  We do this so you keep anonymous and so that nobody else needs to know your real name unless you choose to reveal it. Therefore, the namebadge you get when you arrive at a party will just have this nickname on it.

It’s very important that you wear this sticker in a visible place all through the event.  This is so we know you have paid, so we can find you if you wish to do speed dating or if someone else wishes to get to know you.

However…..and this is the reason for the blog….some people make a decision not to wear the namebadges.

I’ve seen people putting the stickers:

1) On their hands

2) On their handbags

3) On their waist

4) Under a top

5) On their mobile phone

6) On a drink

7) On someone else

Or even worse, they just screw it up when they think we aren’t looking and don’t wear them at all!

So please remember that you MUST wear your namebadge at all times.  If you don’t then you will be asked to write out a new one or maybe even asked to leave.

We want everyone to have a great time at the parties, so please do follow this simple rule.  You never know if Mr or Miss Right is looking over at you from across the room.  If they know your username they’ll be able to email you for free the next day.  They can’t do this if they don’t know who you are!

Happy dating!
James Preece – The Dating Guru


See what we do on video

Sunday, February 26th, 2012

After seven years in the business we finally realised that the best way to convey to new visitors, just how much fun our events are, is with video.

TV advert 2011

A short film about a recent event at the Abbey Bar

Another film where we chat to real guests at a recent event

A short film about our partner site

BBC1 news feature about our comedy night

James and I (Paul) chatting about events

James and Paul chat about some dating tips

Another new success story!

Thursday, February 23rd, 2012

Every day we get success stories.

So here’s one we got today to share with you.


“We met through the website, though a email sent from my now other half (Rishi), we met up had dinner and now have been together for 2 and a half years. He and I would never have met under normal circumstances but your wonderful website brought us together.”
Remember, if you have your own success story then let us know and we’ll send you a bottle of champagne!  Email us at [email protected]
We’ve recently heard rumours of some more Asian Single Solution weddings….if this is your then get in touch!
James and Paul


Monday, February 20th, 2012

Do you know someone who is getting married?

Let them know about this amazing Wedding Site.

As the UK’s leading dating site for British Asian, many of our members end up getting married.   Even if you have no plans just yet, we all have friends and family looking for ideas to make their big day special.

So we have joined forces with – the home of the world’s most extravagant Asian weddings. presents the UK’s first fully loaded wedding website parading truly beautiful Asian weddings from the artistically innovative to the effortlessly beautiful. These are Asian Weddings like you’ve never seen them before! features real life weddings, bundles of inspiration and the finest suppliers around to help couples live out the wedding day they’ve been dreaming of since they were little.

Do take a look.  You might not need it now, but if you put some effort into dating you might do very soon!


James Preece – Dating Coach


New Year, New Success Stories

Thursday, February 2nd, 2012


Here are some of our latest feedbacks and successes

We hope they inspire you!

We love hearing all about your success stories.  Not only do they make our day, they help encourage all our other members to keep going.  So here are some of the latest ones.

“The site has brought the love of my life to me. It’s crazy but it’s true. I feel truly lucky and blessed. I would like to pass the message to all those singletons that you can all find love in a hopeless place, I wasn’t looking at the time then a stranger contacted me and swept me right off my feet!!” DB

“Very good ;) keep up the good work Thankyou guys :)” RN

“Great service, happy to have met someone”  BJ

“Think it was brilliant met my match lets see how it goes now” JB

“I found the website very useful and have spoken to some interesting ladies. Keep up the good work!” DP

“Good way to meet new people and network” SD

“I went to one event which was good fun and well organised.” SY

“The website was easy to use and well managed.” RK

“It has been fun staying with you guys, although I met my husband through my brother but would still like to thank you guys. All the best for everyone who is looking for there soulmate :).” HN

“It was really good meeting new people! I made quite a few friends from it! Staff were really nice friendly guys ” HB

“Thank you for providing a fantastic service, you have made us live more honourable lives to our future wives. Thank you” NM

“The events are great fun. I introduced a number of my friends to the last one and they enjoyed it to.” SW

“I think the site is great, very helpful and tasteful.”  JS

“The ice breakers were very good.” ME

“Very well organised events” SM

“The speed dating option and helpful hints and tips on the website set it out from others I have tried.  I’ve met someone very special via the site and I’ve already recommended it to my single friends.” SW

“Great site met some really interesting people! Would reccomend” PK


If you have your own success story then we’d love to hear it.  We’ll even send you some champagne if you send us a photo.  Please email us now  via  [email protected]

James and Paul

Making them stick

Monday, January 30th, 2012

How are your 2012 resolutions going?

Here’s how to make them work.
Many of us make resolutions at the start of the new year.  Singles often decide that now is the time they want to meet someone.

The trouble is that as the days tick by then it becomes harder and harder.  Life gets in the way and the best intentions are forgotten.

But…..we don’t want that to happen to you!   As a Dating site we can make it really easy for you to meet wonderful singles, just as long as you put a little bit of effort in.

Here are our top three tips to make sure you stick to you goals:

1) Write down your plans.  The very act of writing them down proves you mean it.  Write up a shopping list about all the qualities you are looking for in a partner, then set out a plan and timetable.  I.e  I will message five people each day for the next month.

2) Make sure the goals are realistic and achievable.  That means you are more likely to achieve them.  So don’t aim to high or bite of more than you can chew.

3) Tell your friends.  If you discuss your plans then they can help.  They’ll also be able to keep you motivated and focused.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

Lose the Sunglasses

Monday, January 23rd, 2012

I’ve seen a recent increase in “sunglasses” photos

So here’s why you should avoid this big mistake.


Sunglasses photos are a bad idea at the best of times, which is why we have a “no sunglasses” policy on main photos.  Despite this ( and despite a clear illustration when uploading) , lots of people still ignore this. I find this all very odd, especially as we are now in Winter!

So what’s so bad about it?. Well, sunglasses hide your eyes and part of your face. The eyes are very important when it comes to both trust and attraction.  To hide the eyes is therefore potentially misleading.
Other users are entitled to see what you really look like otherwise, it could just lead to disappointment later for both parties. I am sure you would be disappointed to turn up on a date and the other person did not resemble the photo.

A dating site is partly about trying to get attention but this must not be achieved by using props or accessories. In order for everyone to have a fair chance, and to ensure that our website is regarded as high quality, all the main photos must be reasonably consistent so that what differentiates the photos is peoples real true features, not props. Hence the main photo must be a head-shot and no sunglasses.

The bottom line is this: Please do not choose an image with sunglasses as your main profile image or will get suspended.

You can have sunglasses in other shots in your album.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru


Another success story!

Saturday, January 14th, 2012

Congratulations to our latest couple

The perfect way to end 2011

We love hearing all your success stories, so please do let us know if you make a match!

Here is what V had to say about :

“I really appreciate the service you have provided, it opened up an avenue for me to meet her which I wouldn’t have otherwise had! I simply couldn’t ask for a better person to have joined my life. ”

Could you be next?

If you’ve got your own success story please let us know and we’ll send you a bottle of champagne to celebrate! Email us at [email protected]

Happy dating,


James Preece – The Dating Guru

New Year, New Opportunities

Friday, January 6th, 2012

The start of a new year is the best time for dating.

So make sure make the most of it!

It’s the start of a new year…again.   The time when we all reflect on our lives and make a resolution to sort them out once and for all.  For some of us, this means working on our love lives and finally doing something to start meeting new people.

If this is you, you are certainly in the right place.  January is the busiest time of year for the Asian Single Solution as we have many new members who are also looking for the same thing.

As we have lots of new readers to the blog, here are some quick tips:

1) Make sure you have a great profile and a brilliant photo.   Otherwise nobody will know where to find you!

2) Do take a paying membership.  There’s no point having a basic account as it’s like having a lovely car and not putting any petrol in it.  It won’t get you anywhere.

3) Be proactive.  Don’t wait for others to find you, but take the initiative to contact the people you like the look of.  That way YOU do the choosing and are in control.

4) Sign up for some events.  Our amazing parties are legendary and really are the best way to meet new dates and new friends very quickly. Don’t worry if you’re a bit nervous as we have the best hosts in the business to look after you.

5) Don’t give up.  It might take a few dates to meet Mr or Miss Right or it might take 80.  If you stop at 79 you’ll never know how close you were.


Happy dating,

James Preece – The Dating Guru