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Archive for August, 2018



How To Tell If You’re A Commitment Phobe

Thursday, August 23rd, 2018

There are people out in the world who avoid commitment when dating.  They aren’t interested in settling down. Maybe they want to travel the world and meet different people. Maybe they are too focused on advancing their career to think about love.

For these people, short term dating is a choice they have made. But there are others who have had the choice made for them by their insecurities. These people are commitment phobes, but they often don’t even know it!

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you are one of those people. Consult the list below and see how many of these traits you can identify in your own life:

You are always second-guessing yourself.
You’re indecisive, especially when meeting new people.
You think about the end of every relationship.
You have hidden insecurities and are afraid of being left behind.
You worry about someone accepting you for who you are.
You always end up in the worst relationships.
You avoid sharing personal details about yourself with a new partner.
You avoid talking about your past, even if it was “normal”.
You tend to ghost on other people.
You have a rotation of people you’re communicating with.
You are more comfortable with short relationships.
You tend to nitpick about unimportant things.
You are always looking for a reason to end the relationship.
You tend to self-sabotage.
You always make jokes about how relationships are a waste of time.
You have been called out by friends or family.
You have commitment issues in other aspects of your life.

If any of these traits resonate with you, there is a good chance you are afraid of committing to someone. If you are afraid of commitment, you may be wondering how you can overcome that fear. After all, no one wants to be alone forever or move from relationship to relationship. If you’re ready to accept that you’re afraid of commitment, you’re ready to make the changes too.

The key is to take small steps and make gradual changes. Change isn’t easy for anyone, even if you want to believe you’ll be the exception. If you try to rush the process, you’re going to fail and end up back at square one. Instead, try pacing yourself. If something feels unnatural, don’t do it. You’re also going to want to communicate your fears with your current partner, especially if they are the reason you want to make these changes. Your partner should know what you are going through so that he/she can be supportive of the process. Otherwise, you may feel your efforts are for nothing.

The first thing you need to do is figure out the reason behind your fear of commitment. Are you afraid of being left behind? Are you afraid no one will love you for who you really are? Are you afraid of investing time into something that is going to end? Be honest with yourself about these hesitations. That is the only way you will be able to work through these issues. Often, identifying them helps you to realize they aren’t valid insecurities and allows you to move on with your life.

If you continue struggling, get in touch and our resident Dating Coach might be able to help!

www.asiansinglesolution.com

How To Get Out Of A Dating Rut

Tuesday, August 7th, 2018

There is nothing more draining than dates after dates that never seem to go anywhere. Sure, it’s fun to get out of the house and away from work. But it feels tedious when nothing long-term ever comes from it. This is called a dating rut. It means that you’re stuck in emotional quicksand and can’t seem to pull yourself back out. We’ve all been there at least once. Below is a list of tips to help you get out of the dating rut and back into the dating pool.

Take a break from dating

One of the best things you can do to get out of a dating rut is take a break from dating altogether. Go out by yourself. Reconnect with your friends. Join a social club or something. Do something that will act as a distraction, while also providing you the opportunity to socialize with others. You may even end up with a date. At the very least, you’ll likely make a few good friends.

Reevaluate what you’re looking for in a partner

It can be easy to become so engulfed in your attempts to date that you can lose sight of important goals. One of these goals is the reason you’re dating in the first place. Our needs often change and sometimes, we don’t reflect those changes in our search for companionship. This could mean your dating criteria is out-dated. Take some time to reflect and think about what it is you’re looking for. Remember that if you’re starting to feel desperate to find someone, you may be looking for the wrong reasons.

Consider your expectations of a partner

Many of us want to say we’re open to anyone life sends our way. The fact is, we all have a type. This could be physical traits or aspects of their personality. It can even mean artificial assets, like careers and possessions. If you’re in a dating rut, you should think about your expectations in a partner. Write them down. Rate their importance. Get rid of any that wouldn’t make or break the experience. This will help you to broaden your selection in the future.

Just have a good time

Instead of thinking about what you’re looking for or putting unnecessary pressure on you dating experience, just have fun! Go out with people you normally wouldn’t. Ditch all your expectations, including the ones you have for yourself. Learn to enjoy the moment and the company of another person. Even if that person doesn’t have the same goals in mind as you. This can help to open you up to a different type of person or show you something you’re missing in yourself.

Practice self-care

That doesn’t mean take a bubble bath or treat yourself to something. Although, if you want to, go ahead! It’s always a good idea to indulge every once in a while. Largely, self-care means putting yourself first. Instead of thinking about finding someone else, find yourself. Spend more quality time with yourself and get to know who you are. You can have fun by yourself, too!