Archive for August, 2018



How To Tell If You’re A Commitment Phobe

Thursday, August 23rd, 2018

There are people out in the world who avoid commitment when dating.  They aren’t interested in settling down. Maybe they want to travel the world and meet different people. Maybe they are too focused on advancing their career to think about love.

For these people, short term dating is a choice they have made. But there are others who have had the choice made for them by their insecurities. These people are commitment phobes, but they often don’t even know it!

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you are one of those people. Consult the list below and see how many of these traits you can identify in your own life:

You are always second-guessing yourself.
You’re indecisive, especially when meeting new people.
You think about the end of every relationship.
You have hidden insecurities and are afraid of being left behind.
You worry about someone accepting you for who you are.
You always end up in the worst relationships.
You avoid sharing personal details about yourself with a new partner.
You avoid talking about your past, even if it was “normal”.
You tend to ghost on other people.
You have a rotation of people you’re communicating with.
You are more comfortable with short relationships.
You tend to nitpick about unimportant things.
You are always looking for a reason to end the relationship.
You tend to self-sabotage.
You always make jokes about how relationships are a waste of time.
You have been called out by friends or family.
You have commitment issues in other aspects of your life.

If any of these traits resonate with you, there is a good chance you are afraid of committing to someone. If you are afraid of commitment, you may be wondering how you can overcome that fear. After all, no one wants to be alone forever or move from relationship to relationship. If you’re ready to accept that you’re afraid of commitment, you’re ready to make the changes too.

The key is to take small steps and make gradual changes. Change isn’t easy for anyone, even if you want to believe you’ll be the exception. If you try to rush the process, you’re going to fail and end up back at square one. Instead, try pacing yourself. If something feels unnatural, don’t do it. You’re also going to want to communicate your fears with your current partner, especially if they are the reason you want to make these changes. Your partner should know what you are going through so that he/she can be supportive of the process. Otherwise, you may feel your efforts are for nothing.

The first thing you need to do is figure out the reason behind your fear of commitment. Are you afraid of being left behind? Are you afraid no one will love you for who you really are? Are you afraid of investing time into something that is going to end? Be honest with yourself about these hesitations. That is the only way you will be able to work through these issues. Often, identifying them helps you to realize they aren’t valid insecurities and allows you to move on with your life.

If you continue struggling, get in touch and our resident Dating Coach might be able to help!

www.asiansinglesolution.com