Archive for August, 2009

Can you ever get easy Sex?

Monday, August 24th, 2009

In the current time poor society, is there a place for casual dating? With the massive influx and growth of casual dating sites such as temptation is certainly out there.

Girl undressing

Girl undressing

So where have these sites come from? Online dating has now been around for about 10 years, and is perhaps now, one of the most popular ways to find a date. There is still some stigma around organised dating but that is definitely fading and most single people will have registered on at least one dating site. It was probably inevitable, that as the next step adult dating sites would slip into the mainstream. These are sites for people to meet, who are primarily looking for casual encounters, or no strings fun. They are used by single people looking for a simple encounter without the palaver, or indeed expense of proper dating, and also by married people looking to have an affair or to spice up their relationships.

There is a risk of using these sites of course. What kind of people will you meet? Are they genuine? The real downside is perhaps that these sites create an additional catalyst for relationship breakdown. There isn’t even a pretence that a married person is pretending to be single, these sites just allow people to tell it like it is.

Our research into one of the leading Adult sites, has revealed that most people on these sites are actually single, and just looking for a bit of fun. As long as you are aware of the risks, and are not going to regret anything, then there is probably no harm in getting online, and you never know where it might lead. Maybe its time to fulfil those fantasies without the ties of a relationship.

How to break up without breaking down

Thursday, August 20th, 2009

Not every relationship is going to work out and it can be really hard when you split up. Here are some top tips to help you cope:

1) Surround yourself with people who care about you. A break up can be like a bereavement so you need to with friends and family through the difficult time. They will make sure you keep eating and stay healthy.

2) You are entitled to be upset for a while. It’s part of the moving on process so allow yourself the chance to be sad. You’ll get bored of being miserable before you know it.

3)Time heals all wounds and gives you a chance to put things into perspective. You’ll eventually meet someone even better even though it doesn’t feel like it at the moment.

4)Don’t do stupid things to make your ex jealous or try to get revenge. This only makes you feel better in the short term and can make things much worse.

5)Don’t beat yourself up and go over and over why it didn’t work out. Just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean that you did something wrong or were wrong to put your trust in the relationship.

6) Look back on the good times – it’s your experiences that make you the person you are.

7) Put your energy into the things that make you happy. Focus on going to the gym etc. If you stay busy and concentrate on other things this will take your mind off the breakup.

8) Even if you agree to be friends, agree to cut off all contact for at least a month. This will help the healing process.

9) Make a box of all the gifts, letters and photographs you have and give them to someone to keep safe. This stops you moping over them. You don’t need to throw them out.

10) Once you have had time for the intial shock, get yourself back into the dating game and you’ll soon be
enjoying the chance to be single again. Try one of our singles parties. This will boost your confidence and show you that others are interested in you.

James Preece Dating And Relationship Expert for

How NOT to walk into a party!

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

I noticed a very interesting thing at a recent singles party I was working at. The party was in full swing, but one man arrived late.
He darted into the room, stood by the stairs, with his head hanging low and his eyes fixed on the floor. He had a very pained expression
on his face, that made him look like he was gurning while being attracted by bees. This was not the ideal way of making a good first impression at a party.
At a singles party, many people have an eye on the door, just in case Mr or Miss Right walks in.

I offered him some tips on the night and it turned out he felt awkward about being there. I thought it would be a good idea to share the advice I gave him about the right way to enter a party.

1) Just before you enter, breathe slowly to compose yourself.
2) Now walk slowly and confidently up to the doorway.
3) Imagine the doorway has a rope hanging down, that pulls you up to your full height. No slouching allowed.
4) Stand in the doorway and SMILE and pause for a couple for seconds.
5) Congratulations, you now look like somebody everyone has to talk to!

James Preece Body Language and Dating Expert for

Treat them mean and keep them keen?

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009

There’s one dating question I often get asked that I’m going to discuss here.

When you start seeing a potential partner, is it better to pursue them or play hard to get?

Time and again, people are advised to play it cool and make any potential love do all chasing. They’ll wait for them to call or text first, or keep them waiting.

But studies show that this technique doesn’t work.

One particular study involved a female member of a Dating agency. Her brief was that when a guy called her up to ask for a date, she would either say yes right away or pause for 3 seconds. After the call the men were told what had happened and asked for their thoughts. Playing hard to get made absolutely no difference and most men didn’t care about the pause.

Another recent study took a group of men and asked if they would rather date someone keen to have a relationship, or someone who made them do all the chasing. Their conclusions were very interesting and showed that there were arguments for and against both types. The perceptions were that they thought that “easy to obtain” women were fun to be with but could be embarrassing in public. On the other hand, hard to get women were great for the ego but could be cold and unfriendly.

Overwhelming research shows that the best strategy is to give the impression that you are hard to get but are still really keen on your potential partner. That’s a strategy we’d definitely recommend. Don’t agree to every suggested date and make them realise you have a full social calendar. When you make time for them they will appreciate it even more.

James Preece, Dating Guru for

Pooja Shah meets James and Paul

Tuesday, August 11th, 2009

The Single Solution were proud to sponsor the recenty party for “Loose Women’s” Jackie Brambles.

During the party James and Paul chatted to actress Pooja Shah (Eastenders, Bend it Like Beckham) who turned out to be a fan of Asian Single Solution!

“I have always thought of myself as a confident and independent woman, enjoying several happy and long-term relationships. During my “single” periods in between, I have never been afraid to give online dating a try and would recommend Asiansinglesolution as professional and well organised for anyone in a similar situation. You do not have to be looking for “the one”, you may just want to meet some attractive and interesting people.”

Pooja Shah with James and Paul

Single Solution loves Loose Women

Wednesday, August 5th, 2009

The Single Solution were very proud to sponsor the send-off for “Loose Women’s” Jackie Brambles at Zebrano Bar last Monday, 3rd August.

After a successful 3 year stint on the popular and award-winning daytime programme Jackie is moving on to new projects. We had an amazing party, with a huge celebrity turnout including Lulu, Zoe Salmon, Pooja Shah and Dr Fox. Roachford sang live and everyone carried on partying until the early ours of the morning.

This was also great exposure for the Single Solution as it increased brand awareness and got our name into many newspapers.

The Love Bus Rides Again

Wednesday, August 5th, 2009

The Asian Single Solution Love Bus made it’s triumphant return to the streets of London on Thursday 23rd July.

Following on from successful trip in February , our new improved “open top” London Love Bus spent the day travelling around the City and the West End, letting everyone know about our amazing singles parties and online dating. To make sure nobody could miss us, we hired a 17 piece brass band to serenade the crowds with Love songs. Everyone had great fun and we gave out 100s of flyers and goody bags.

We’ve had a great response to our promotion which will attract many new members to our site.

Is their ex getting in your way?

Monday, August 3rd, 2009

Sometimes people stay friends with their exes, but this can make it hard for a new couple. Here are some tips if you are worried about how to handle them:

1) Communicate. If their ex is getting in the way then you need to talk things through before problems build up. Find out what went wrong and what caused them to break up. Make sure there are no feelings left or questions unresolved. If you are worried about them getting in the way then it’s up to your partner to reassure you, not the other way around.

2) Give them Space. Let them meet every now and again if they are friends. They are entitled to have their own friends and they must at some point have had lots in common. If they feel like you are pressurizing them, they might panic and become defensive, which will cause tensions and arguments.

3) Don’t display signs of jealousy. Even if you are, then never ever let her know. Instead, be overfriendly with her and show her how happy you are with your partner. Always smile, laugh at his jokes, hold his hand and show her you are completely non-threatened by her.

4) Don’t compete. Keep in mind that you’ve already won as he’s chosen to be romantically involved with you. So don’t feel you have to outdo her or fall into the trap of constantly comparing yourself to her. It’s you that he wants to be with so it’s game over for her.

5) Don’t try and make him jealous or her angry. It can be tempting to flirt with other guys or try and wind her up, but game playing will only backfire on you. There’s no need to create barriers or problems if they don’t exist in the first place.

6) Get to know her – you might just make a new friend. You never know, she might even be more worried about what you are thinking than the other way round. At least if you know her and how she thinks then you have the strong advantage.

7) Make sure you have a wide social circle yourself. That way you have other people to talk to and aren’t dependent on your partner. He’ll know that you have other options and places to go to, which will make him realise life goes on without him.

8) Be cautious. If there are three of you in the relationship and she’s causing problems then take action. Just because he’s happy with you, doesn’t mean she doesn’t want him back. Watch out for warning signals like secret text and phone calls, him wearing clothes she likes or him simply disappearing.

9) Trust him. It can be hard, but it’s only through trust that a relationship can develop. Take his word that they are just friends….at least until something happens that makes you doubt otherwise!

10) Give it time. It might be an annoyance or inconvenience but don’t worry. She will eventually meet someone else and will be off the radar and out of your life. You don’t have to deal with her forever!

James Preece, Relationship and Dating Expert for