The Compliment Currency

Compliments are a strong currency when it comes to flirting and getting to know someone. But it’s so easy to get it wrong!


You know what it’s like to get a compliment.  You might be flattered but you will often be suspicious too.  Perhaps you’ll think they are being insincere or trying to get round you in some way.  The same goes for when you give one yourself. So here is a simple tip to help you get round this problem:

Do it via a friend!

Yes, it’s that easy.  Tell a mutual friend how wonderful you think the person you are interested in is.   Don’t go over the top and don’t make them aware of what you are up to. Instead, just throw the compliment into the conversation.  Make sure it’s nothing too sexual or personal either. You could say something along the lines of “He’s really entertaining or I loved her necklace.” You can bet anything that your mutual friend will have passed the message on within 24 hours.

By delivering compliment through a third party the impact doubles and they’ll instantly become more believable.  A compliment that someone overhears is must more powerful that one that they actually hear.

You can also use this tip to get some of the glory from someone else’s compliment too.   If you hear someone saying good things about a friend, then tell them all about it.   When they feel good from hearing this, they’ll tie you in to the “feel good” emotion that it triggers.

Just remember to only keep it to compliments.  You don’t want to associate yourself with any negative comments to idle gossip.

Happy Dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

One Response to “The Compliment Currency”

  1. Ish Mah Says:

    This is a smart article, and its true. It’s funny how we don’t realise but most of the time we are talking about other people anyway.

    Thanks James.

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