The Vanishing Date

It’s time to get a bit spooky now.

There’s a strange dating phonemenon that you’ll come across quite a bit.


You’ll go out on a date or two and everything will be going well.   Then suddenly the emails, texts and phone calls stop.

They have completely vanished, never to be seen again.  You try your best to contact them but you don’t ever hear anything back.

Where have they gone you wonder?  Maybe they’ve lost their phone, caught a terrible cold or been abducted by aliens.  You’ll spend hours going over the possibilities about why they’ve disappeared.

This will also happen all the time with online dating.  You’ll start chatting and look forward to getting to know them – when they cut you off cold.

The truth is that there are endless reasons why they’ve gone, perhaps they have got back with their ex, or circumstances have changed. Just maybe they will call you soon as phones DO get lost and stolen, people do go away with work, they do get ill etc and all manner of crazy things can happen in people’s lives, but ninety nine times out of a hundred there’s one major factor that causes this.   Brace yourself, the reality can be hard to come to terms with….they just aren’t interested!

Sadly, you’ll probably never know the true reason why.

My advice is just to accept it and move on. Don’t take it personally, but look at the good things you’ve learnt from the experience.

Get straight onto arranging lots of other dates with new people, so you are never in the position where you have to keep waiting to hear back from one person.

Lead an active, busy life and you won’t have time to worry about these things.

Perhaps one day a UFO will land and bring them all back!

If you’ve done this to someone else it’s very unfair.  You don’t want to hurt their feelings so you decide to cut off all contact instead.  This is actually very cowardly and leads to confusion.  It’s much better to say you weren’t feeling it and wish them luck finding someone who deserves them.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

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