What if I don’t hear back?

You’ve sent a message but haven’t heard back.


Should you move on or try again?

You know the scenario. You’ve contacted lots of people you like on the site but haven’t heard back from some of them.

You don’t want to hassle them so most people simply give up at this point.   But I’d strongly advise you to give it another go.

Keep in mind that people lead busy lives and might be inundated.   These means they accidentally overlook certain emails or they plan to open then or end up getting distracted and forgetting all about it. Resending your email to these people almost guarantees an increased open rate.

Here are a few tips to see if you get better results

  1. Always write proper, personalised messages.  If they feel you’ve made an effort they’ll be much more likely to reply.
  2. Wait at least three days before you contact them again.  They might well have not had a chance to log on the site, especially over the weekend
  3. Make sure you send a credit with your message.  This means that they can open and reply to it, even if they aren’t paying members.
  4. If it’s still in bold, it’s not been read.  However, even if it has been read it doesn’t mean they are still a paying member. Perhaps they read it when they were a member but now the membership has lapsed.  A credit will fix this.
  5. Change the Subject Line.  If do this is will look like two different emails.  If they’ve not read the actual message then they won’t even know they are the same.
  6. Make it clear you are resending it.  Say something like “I’d hate you to miss this” or “I’m resending this as I know we’re a fantastic match.”

One final piece of advice.  If you don’t hear back after you’ve contacted them twice then move on.  There’s no point contacting them again. Not only will it annoy them but you’ll be wasting energy when you could be lining up dates with other people!

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru


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