Dating Guru’s Mailbag – Are the stars against us?

Here’s another dating dilemma

for our Dating Guru

“I have been going out with someone for the past three years now and the last five months have been the worst as in he has been very distant as he is having some family and financial issues. Also he claims he is bad luck according to the astrology, he is Sikh and I’m Hindu. I have been understanding til now but i don’t believe in astrology so I’m just trying to make him feel as ease by saying we can take part in some prayers or something to make it better.

The worst thing is that due to our different religions, i knew my parents wouldn’t accept it but with a lot of persuasion from me my parents agreed to meet him. That’s when things went downhill from there.
i really don’t know what to do. I’m meeting him on Thursday and I don’t know if i should still fight or just let him go after fighting with my parents for more then 18 months.
I’m 28 and he is 30 and i am ready to get married and settle down. i thought he was too as he used to tell me to talk to my parents several times.
Please advise me.  B”
Dear B,
Thank you for your message.  You must be going through a very confusing time.
I’m sorry to say this, but there are a lot of alarm bells ringing here.  He’s being distant and blaming strange things such as Astrology.  To most people, Astrology is just a bit of fun, not something that should ever be taken seriously.  Perhaps he’s just getting cold feet and is stressed, so give him a bit of space for a few weeks and don’t put any pressure on him.
Once this two week break is over, then meet and tell him everything that’s on your mind. Tell him it’s his last chance and find out what’s really holding him back.
If this doesn’t make a difference, I think the best thing to do would be to free yourself from this relationship. Then and only then can you find someone who is prepared to give you the time and focus you deserve. Sometimes it’s best to just stop fighting if the person isn’t helping you.   Even if he promises to change and make an effort I’m not convinced it will last.


Good luck!

James Preece

The Dating Guru


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