Competition Blog Entry – Is Silence good or bad?

Here is a “dating question” for our new “blog competition”


Dear Dating Guru,

When Dating, are Silent moments good or bad?



Dear N,

Dating is all about getting to know each other, building a connection, then attraction and beyond.   The majority of this is done through talking to one another – asking and answering questions.

If you are both sat there without saying anything then it can quickly become awkward.   This can stop the date from flowing and you’ll be unlikely to have a second.

For this reason, you have to have a wide range of “conversation starters” under your belt to keep up the momentum.  These don’t have to be too complicated, just discussions about family, holidays, ambitions, beliefs, funny anecdotes etc.   It’s easy to find topics to talk about – just pick up a paper and read the headlines if you get stuck.

However, silence isn’t always a bad thing.   There are times when you will need to sit back and enjoy each other’s company without saying a word.  This is a fantastic opportunity to process the date so far and really think about everything that’s been said.      It’s also a great chance for non-verbal communication.  You can look deep into their eyes or play with your hair in a flirty, fun manner.

The bottom line is :   Make sure you have plenty to talk about but you don’t need to fill in every silence just for the sake of it!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

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