Asian Dating Advice: How often should I contact them

Here is the latest letter for our Dating Coach

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“Dear James.  I’m never sure how often or how quickly I should text someone I’m interested in.  I don’t want to scare them away but I hate it when they don’t reply for days on end. It’s infuriating!  What’s the best policy? Thanks F”

Hi F,

Thank you for your question.  My answer depends on when exactly you are texting.  Do you mean before you’ve met them or after you’ve actually had a date?   Here are my suggestions for you:

1) Texting Before You Meet

If you’ve just met someone online and they’ve given you their number you really don’t need to be texting them at all.  The same goes for WhatsApp I’m afraid!  Speak on the phone to arrange a date and perhaps send a text the day before just to confirm.  You need to save your time and energy for speaking once you meet face to face.

2) Texting After a Date

It’s fine to text someone after a date.  In fact, it’s polite to follow up even if you aren’t interested.  If you are then you do have to let them know.  The next morning is the best time, perhaps telling them you really enjoyed yourself and want to do it again soon. If you don’t let them know you are keen they’ll just assume you don’t want to meet again and won’t text you to ask anyway.

3) Texting Between Dates

This is the time you really need to brush up your texting skills!   You want to keep up the interest and flirting between dates to make sure they are thinking about you.  Don’t reply too quickly as you want to give them the chance to miss you and you don’t want to appear too available.  It’s vital you don’t play games though.  Waiting three hours to reply just because they took two isn’t going to lead to a happy relationship.  Reply when you can but if you are busy they will accept it.



If you have your own dating question or dilemma that you’d like our Dating Coach James Preece to answer, email us at [email protected]

We’ll feature the best replies here in the blog.
Happy Dating!
The Asian Single Solution Team

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