Dating Advice For The Newly Single

Coming out of a relationship can be an eye-opening experience. It’s almost as if you’re seeing the world for the first time, although that view isn’t always a pleasant one. Sometimes the world feels empty due to the absence of your partner or your lack of self-identity. It’s tempting to try and fill the void by jumping into a new relationship. But that can be a recipe for disaster, especially if you don’t really know what you’re looking for. Before you put yourself back into the world of dating, ask yourself: “What Am I Looking For?”

The answer to this question determines your readiness for a new relationship. Consider the reasons you were attracted to your last partner. Are you looking for those same traits in someone new? Are they generic traits or specific quirks your last partner had? If you find yourself looking for specific traits, you’re not ready to move on from your last relationship. You need to take a step back and look inward. If you’re looking for generic traits, you’re ready.

Boost Your Confidence

If you’re newly single, confidence can be a game-changer. No one is going to want to date you if you seem desperate and lonely. No one expects you’re going to be perfect. Find a balance between the raw emotional state you might be in and the confident person you were before the break-up. You can fake your confidence if you’re not feeling great about yourself. A better idea is to engage in activities that will naturally boost your confidence, like working out or accomplishing goals.

Put Yourself Out There

You have to put yourself in situations you’re likely to meet people in, such as bars or cafes. If you’re leaning towards online dating, find the most successful website or application in your area and give it your focus. It’s tempting to join a variety of websites, but it doesn’t increase your chances. In fact, you end up spreading yourself too thin. So find one that works for you and stick to it. You have the ability to change locations more fluidly in person, so experiment with where people seem to be.

Numbers Game

Dating is a numbers game, there’s no doubt about that. For every successful date you go on, you’ll have 1 or 2 that were awful. The more dates you go on, the more likely you’ll be successful. Online dating takes the numbers to a whole new extreme. If you send 5 messages, you’re unlikely to get any responses. If you send 25 messages, you’re likely to get 1-3 replies. Of course, each message has to be uniquely crafted because most people know if you’re sending a generic message. This can be time consuming, but it’ll be worth your effort.

Be Open

Online, it’s easy enough to be open to meeting people. All you have to do is craft an engaging profile, right? In person, it may be harder to convey your intentions. You have to rely on body language, the direction of your stare and your smile. You can use your body language to invite someone to talk to you, using your eyes to direct them. Your smile should be friendly and saying “hello”.

Take It Easy

Don’t be in a rush to get back into a relationship. Enjoy the single life a little more. Have fun with the process. Dating isn’t always about an end-result, like marriage. Dating can be an independent experience. You can get to know different people. You may even learn things about yourself. Many dates don’t go anywhere and that’s fine. Every experience is something you can learn from. One day, you’ll look back and laugh at the “bad” dates you’ve been on.