Celebrity Dating Advice: Kristen Stewart

If you get caught cheating

Is it better to apologise privately or publicly?

That’s the dilemma that Kristen Stewart faced this week after she’s been caught cheating on her boy friend Robert Pattinson.   She decided that since the media has turned on her and made her infidelity so public, she had not choice but to do the same with her apology.  But if you were ever in the same situation, what should you do?

An apology is the most important thing after an affair, followed by an explanation. You’ll be judged by everyone that knows you both, so if they are aware of the infidelity then you need to make a very public apology.  If nobody else knows, there’s no need to make matters worse so keep it private as you don’t want others interfering. This is not about you making yourself feel better, but helping put things right.

Your partner will be deeply hurt, angry and confused, but they will want to see you try to make things right.  It can be hard to express this face to face with so much emotion, so write them a letter instead.  Put down everything you want to say, explain your actions and make it clear it will never happen again.  Then give them time to read it and come to terms with what has happened.

Sometimes affairs are good for a relationship, as it gives you both a chance to start again. A “new moon” as it were.  However, you’ll never quite rebuild the trust you had in the first place.

Happy dating!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

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