Dating Guru Mailbag : Does it matter how many winks and emails I get?

Here’s a letter to the Dating Guru

which you might find useful


“Dear James,  I seem to be proving popular on as I’ve had 100 emails and over 200 winks.  However, I’ve not met anyone perfect yet.  Can you give me any advice to increase my chances?  Thanks, K”

Hi K,

Thank you for your email.  It’s great that you have had so many winks and emails as it shows you are doing something right.  You’ve put some effort in to making sure you’ve got a decent photograph and profile so it’s clearly working.  However, you are making one fatal error – you haven’t initiated any contact yourself!

It really doesn’t matter how many people wink at you, add you to favourites or send you emails if they aren’t great matches.  If you want to be successful then you need to take control. Contact the members that YOU like the look of, not the other way round.   I always say this, but you must be proactive if you want to get good results.   By making contact yourself then you are initiating correspondence with quality people that are a great match for you.

By the way, Winking isn’t a great strategy. It comes across as lazy as it appears you can’t be bothered to to write a proper message.  It doens’t make anyone feel special and you run the risk of turning someone off before you’ve even spoken.  Every now and again it can work, providing you follow up with a message once you can see they’ve viewed your profile.



Good luck!


James Preece – The Dating Guru

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