Almost everyone feels nervous before a first date. There are too many things to think about. Firstly, you need to pick an outfit that shows you’re well-dressed. You need a scent that is going to match your look. You need good hygiene, which can be hard when you’re sweating nervously through the fabric you’re wearing. Then you have to think about where you’re going. Is the location you picked going to work? Is it too loud or too busy? Is your date going to enjoy the location? Is your date going to enjoy you?

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the “what-if’s” before a date.

If you are like most people, one of the biggest concerns is conversation. For any date, good conversation determines whether or not there will be another date. Many people worry they will run out of things to say. Although there are going to be natural pauses in conversation, maintaining a flow is the ideal. Other people worry that they will say too much, ultimately making themselves look foolish. The first date is your opportunity to share aspects of each other, but you don’t want to reveal too much.

There are definitely conversation boundaries on a first date.

It may go without saying that politics and religion are not first-date conversation topics. Although these subjects don’t seem revealing, they can put your date in an awkward position. Especially if they have different views. Similarly, the subject of children or marriage should be saved for a later date as well. If you already have children, you can find a way to bring them up in conversation. To your date, children may be a deal-breaker. For some, this is because it suggests you are still involved with an ex-partner. Your date doesn’t want to think about your previous relationships in any way.

First-date conversation should be fun, while also being informative. You want to talk about your passions and learn the things your date is passionate about. You want to share your hobbies and find common interests. A great question to ask a first date is: What is your ideal/typical weekend? This can tell you many things about your date, while being something they will enjoy answering. You may also want to ask where they see themselves in 5 years and quietly reflect on your position in that future.

There are two things you want to keep in mind:

1. This is not a therapy session.
2. This is not an interview/interrogation.

You don’t want to dump all over your date, whether it’s by complaining or giving too much information. Ideally, you want to reveal your personality and quirks gradually. This gives your date the time to absorb everything. You should do the same. Ask your date questions and listen to the answers. Share pieces with each other. Most importantly: Allow the conversation to flow naturally.

When it comes to revealing anything about yourself, ask: Would I be comfortable if the whole world knew this about me? If the answer is “no”, don’t share it on a first date. If it is something you would share with anyone, then it isn’t too revealing for your date.

Happy Dating!

James – Dating Coach for AsianSingleSolution.com

All over the world, there are people who dread being single on Valentine’s Day. It’s the one day a year that every couple, new and old, take to the streets and flaunt their joy and love. Restaurants fill up with those who are celebrating. Movie theatres are showing romantic comedies and the crowd is filled with couples. Even walking down the street, you’re bound to see people engaging in public affection that may otherwise be considered inappropriate. If you’re single on Valentine’s Day, it seems easier to coop yourself up and avoid the all out love-fest. Although it might seem like a good idea to keep to yourself, this can create deeper feelings of isolation. If you’re already feeling a sense of loneliness, this is the last thing you need. Instead, try these fun ideas to boost your spirits:

Singles Parties

You’re certainly not the only Asian single who is alone on Valentines Day. The good news is that of the people like you, may choose to be pro-active. The end result? Singles Parties. These parties are exactly what they sound like, with men and women alike gathering to engage in conversation. We are running two big Asian singles events ourselves – one in London and one in Birmingham. Of course, it won’t always result in a date, but it’s something to keep your mind from wandering too far. If there aren’t any parties in your area, try hosting one yourself. This works well if you know quite a few single people. The more people you tell about your party, the more people are likely to show up.

Make Plans

If a singles’ party doesn’t sound like your thing, that’s absolutely fine. Not everyone is interested in meeting new people at events, especially if you’re introverted. Instead of trying to meet someone new, opt to connect with someone you already know. You can use Valentine’s Day to bond with anyone, not just a significant other. Try calling a friend or family member to hang out for the evening. If you have a co-worker that is single, invite them out for drinks or just to chill out.

Date Yourself

The greatest love you will ever have is love for yourself. Whether you’re male or female, self-love is crucial to personal development and rich relationships with other people. If you’re single this Valentine’s Day, take the chance to date yourself. Get to know yourself all over again. You may discover a whole new side of yourself! You can also engage in old hobbies & interests that may help you to connect with yourself. Of course, you’re not limited to introspection. Take yourself to dinner, run a bubble bath or go see a movie. If you just want to stay home and play video games, do it! Make it a day that is all about you.

Volunteer

So everyone is busy and you don’t want to sit at home alone. This is a great chance to volunteer your time to a good cause. You can go down to a food bank and help hand out food. You can read to the elderly in a hospice. If you really want to get creative, you can bake treats and hand them out to the local homeless. Not only is this a great way to spend your Valentine’s Day, but you’ll feel a deeper reward in helping others.

Keep Busy

The best advice anyone can give you when you’re single on Valentine’s Day is to keep busy. Even if you’re just ticking things off a to-do list, keeping busy will prevent you from that isolation feeling. The more you can get done, the more accomplished you’ll feel in the following days too. You may be able to completely finish your to-do list or finish those creative projects you have started. You may be able to catch up on work assignments or even just sleep! There are too many options to list, so get creative!

Idea Eleven – Ski Lodge

Unless you live somewhere cold and hilly, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to visit a real ski lodge.  However, much like ice bars and igloos, there are ski lodges opening all over the place.

Decorated to give you that “alpine” feeling, they are a wonderful place to sip wine and get to know each other.  They are cosy and you can try seasonal drinks such as eggnog or hot chocolate with a shot of your favourite tipple.

If you have your own Christmas Dating Ideas please do add a comment to this blog.  We’d love to share the most original ones.

Happy dating!
Asian Single Solution

#12datesofchristmas

Idea Seven- Wine Tasting

Wine Tasting is a great way to have fun getting to know each other while learning something new at the same time.  You’ll get the chance to try five or six different varieties, usually along with some nibbles too.

As it’s the Festive Season, do make sure you include a glass of Mulled Wine too!  It’s the perfect way to warm up the cold winter nights.

If you have your own Christmas Dating Ideas please do add a comment to this blog.  We’d love to share the most original ones.

Happy dating!
Asian Single Solution

#12datesofchristmas

Idea 5 – Ice Bar

Ice bars are a wonderful place to meet for a first date as they are different to your usual pubs and clubs.  You are only allowed to visit for a limited time and you’ll be given a warm coat to wear once you are inside.  When you visit, you’ll discover the whole bar has been carved out of ice. There might be sculptures or artworks for you to enjoy.

Entry usually includes at least one drink which is served from an ice luge. You’ll enjoy a naturally “ice cold” cocktail while talking to your date.

Afterwards, you can go to a warmer bar nearby or why not go for a hot meal to continue the evening?

If you have your own Christmas Dating Ideas please do add a comment to this blog.  We’d love to share the most original ones.

Happy dating!
Asian Single Solution

#12datesofchristmas

Did you know that we have fully functional mobile version of our online dating site?

It’s very simple and fun to use and you can set it up on your phone in a similar way to a mobile app.

To do this, you just have to save a bookmark.   Follow these easy steps and you can get this done in no time:

Visit  m.asiansinglesolution.com   on your mobile photo

If you have an IPHONE

Click on the box with the arrow to open up your menu. Then select Add to Home Screen. This will add an icon and link to your home screen like any other Application.

Click Add to Homepage to add the icon and link to your screen

If you have an ANDROID PHONE

Click the dots in the top right hand corner.  Press to Arrow at the top and then Press Save

Once you have done this you’ll be able to use the site at any time you wish.  We hope you have fun and enjoying using it!

The Asian Single Solution team