Here is the latest question answered by our Dating Guru

“Dear James, I’ve been with my boyfriend for six months now and we are so happy together.  We met on your dating site and he’s everything I’m looking for. I think he wants us to start looking for a place together soon.  However, neither of us has told the other than we love them.  I love him so much but I don’t want to embarrass myself if he doesn’t feel the same!  What should I do?   S.T”

Hi S.T

Many thanks for your message.  It’s fantastic news that you’ve met someone through us and that you are happy together.  I’d say that the fact he’s talking about moving in together is a very positive sign that he sees a future with you.

I know that you don’t want to say you love him in case he gets scared or pretends he’s not heard you.  The problem is that he more than likely feels exactly the same.  The longer you leave it then the worse it will get.

Slip it into conversation when you are saying goodbye to him, as it’s the most natural thing in the world.  “Love you” sounds much softer than “I Love you” so try and say that instead if you think it might shock him.

If you really want to be as gentle as possible, just write it at the end of a text message.  Something simple like “I had such a wonderful evening with you.  I love you :) xxx”           With any luck he’ll text something similar back.   If he doesn’t, don’t panic as he might want to say it face to face.

Whatever you do, don’t ask him if he loves you and force him into saying something he isn’t ready to say yet.   He’ll end up resenting you and you’ll take away his chance to impress/surprise you.

I’d advise you not to move in together until you are sure you both love each other. Otherwise you may have a very bumpy ride together!

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

March was another great month for our Asian dating site

Here is just a small selection of the latest emails we’ve had from our Asian members:

“I felt the website was a valuable way to meet like minded people. I will be recommending this site to my friends and colleagues.” DS

“Very easy site to use, and genuine people are available to talk to” AV

“I met someone on your dating site, and am no longer single. Feed back : Excellent” MP

“A nice way of getting to know other singles out there” US

“Thank you for helping me meet someone, very early days…..watch this space!!” SK

“The best site I’ve been on.” EH

“Excellent thank you. I have met someone now.” AK

“Best dating site ever” SM

“Generally a good site and works well” SB

“Good professional service, happy with it.” KC

” I met someone at one of your events, and am no longer single
Feed back : This site has been a great help! Great site!” MR

“Flexible, easy to use, great interface” JK

“Good service, easy to use site. Would recommend to others” NP

“Site was good, easy to search for people such as if the are veg, drinkers etc. easy to search for the type of person you are looking for.” AK

If you have your own feedback or succes that you’d like to share with us, please drop us an email to [email protected]

Happy dating!

James, Paul and Meera

You’ve got a date lined up and you want to get to know each other.

So what can you talk about? What shouldn’t you talk about?

Here are my dating tips to help ensure your date goes smoothly and that you have lots to talk about.

1) Don’t interview them.  Yes, you need to ask questions and find out about them but you aren’t on a chat show.  If you start firing off questions then it will make them feel pressured and they’ll back off.  So instead take turns to ask questions and acknowledge their replies rather than asking them something else immediately.

2) Use body language rather than talking.  This can be as simple as smiling, nodding and paying full attention to what they are saying.  If they feel you are enjoying what they are saying they will be more comfortable.   Remember that it doesn’t always matter what you say, rather than the WAY you say it.

3) Flirt!  If you don’t want to be stuck in the “just friends” zone then this is vital.  Touch them lightly on the arm every now and again and try to be a bit cheeky, teasing them every now and again.

4) Sell yourself.   Make sure you present yourself as best you can but don’t boast or bore.  The key is to convey that you lead an interesting, fun, busy life.

5) Don’t fill every silence.   Sometimes it’s good to pause for a short while.   You don’t need to try and think of something clever to say, just enjoy the moment to reflect.

6) Have conversation topics ready just in case.  If the chat completely dries up then you use these to get things back on track.  Make sure it’s an interest topic you can both discuss, rather than a question they can answer with a yes of a no.   You could ask them if they’ve ever had a supernatural experience, what their earliest childhood memory is or what their dreams are for the future.

7) Don’t be an Agony Aunt/Uncle.   People have a tendency to unload their problems on others and they in turn want to be the one to solve them.  They think that if can help then their date will be eternally grateful and think they are wonderful.  That’s just a negative thing to talk about.   A date isn’t the time for this -always focus on the positive.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

In today’s blog I’m going to look at a common dating topic – the mystery of the Alpha Male

So what exactly is an Alpha Male?

The term is sometimes used to refer to a man who is powerful or in a high social position

In nature, attraction between mates is determined by the survival of the fittest philosophy. The mate that is chosen is the one that is most likely to breed strong, healthy offspring. In many animal societies the alpha male will be the only male in the pack, and it will be his job to impregnate the females in order for the species to survive.

So in dating, the alpha tends to be the one who gets all the women!

However, contrary to popular belief, this isn’t through being rude, arrogant, macho or cocky.  Instead, here are the five best ways you can learn to become and Alpha Male:

1) Be Confident.  This is the number quality that a woman will look for in a man so it’s the key thing all Alpha Men possess. Be relaxed and comfortable in your surroundings. It always help to dress up whenever you go out as it gives the impression you are high status and sure of yourself.

2) Be Masculine.  Show off your muscles, achievements, or skills to get people to think of you as dominant.  Know who you are and never be afraid to express your true personality.  An Alpha man  Doesn’t fear doesnt’ care what other think of him or of being judged.

3) Take the lead.  As an Alpha Male, you need to take control.  In fact, most women expect it as they they want to be looked after.  For example, don’t ask where they would like to go on a date – but surprise them instead.

4) Know what you are worth.  Respect yourself. you value yourself as equal to or above everyone else including any girl you approach. You need women to realise that you have a lot more to offer than other men and they need to be the ones to impress you.

5) Don’t be too serious.  As always, dating is about fun.  You need to demonstrate that you have a good, almost cheeky sense of humour.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru

www.asiansinglesolution.com

Here’s a new dating question for the Dating Guru:

Dear James,
I have been dating this guy, J, for only a few days. He has an ex girlfriend that still harasses him constantly for his attention and
for sex

I am at a disadvantage because I have asked him to wait before we sleep together and he does not like or respect the idea

I don’t really know what usually goes on in a guy’s mind but him being impulsive and his ex girlfriend constantly sending him sexual beams, I am sure he is about to sleep with her and dump me

I know he misses the sex with her because he’s still attracted to her and she obviously misses him

I don’t know what to do. Please advise!

C
********************************************************

Dear C,

Thank you for writing to me. I can see why you are confused.

This guy is definitely playing games with you in an effort to get you to sleep with him. How do you know his ex keeps texting him for sex? If he cared about you he’d either block her from contacting him OR would be respectful another not to tell you about his. Instead, he’s using it against you to try and force you to do something you don’t want to to.

The bottom line is that if you don’t feel ready – don’t do it! It’s only been a few days after all. If you have to wait six months until you want to have sex then he needs to understand that.

He sounds like a selfish jerk anyway. If he doesn’t get what he wants from you then he’ll soon go back to his ex. If you DO sleep with him he’ll get bored soon enough and start looking for his next conquest. This isn’t love, it’s lust. He needs to the sex to boost his own ego. Whatever you do, you’ll always be worrying which doesn’t make a happy relationship.

My advice?  Talk to him and try and reach an agreement.  If he still continues to tease and pressure you then dump him. You’ll soon find someone better who deserves to be with you.

Good luck!

James Preece – The Dating Guru
www.asiansinglesolution.com